Restoration: Week 8.

This past week, I finished two books! I'm still two books ahead on my 2018 reading goal. I read a lot of the Bible, working to catch up.

Josh and I went out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel with a gift card he won at the Institution for Creative Leadership (ICL) meeting. A date!

Bruce took me to a movie, and we feasted on popcorn. I'm still trying to watch at least one movie a week. Movies tend to pry open my mind or heart a little.

I wrote a poem! It's probably the first in a year or more. The first line showed up in my mind, and I wrote the poem in my journal. I'm happy even if no other product writing happens this year. But I must say that I've thought a bit about sending submissions again. I might be able to revise old pieces.

I'm building up my inner and outer life.

A Bold Reader: Week 8.

I finished two books this week! One was Best American Poetry 2010. I read it poem by poem and marked several poets to add to my to-read list. I want to read all the BAPs. I also finished The Perfect Girl, an ebook I read on my phone while I walked on the treadmill.

I started reading Room on my phone while putting Oliver to bed. I wasn't sure I could handle the book, but I love it so far.

I began reading Rita Dove's Selected Poems. I loved Mother Love, so I think I'll like this one.

Somehow, I've still not caught up with my Bible. I've been reading a few days at a time. So I've resolved not to read anything else (except bath-time poetry) until I've caught up. I won't get discouraged. Maybe I'll catch up today.

I'm definitely becoming more confident as a reader, and I'm thrilled about that.

Scrapbooking.

I have so many lovely memories connected to scrapbooking. At first, I made cards and decorated photo albums with scrapbooking treasures. Later, I used the tools to add to my journals.

I remember the joy of wet ink pads and tiny dolls with pinafores on rubber stamps. Burst of stars, favorite words, fairies, and more were mine to put anywhere, over and over. Mom and I colored stamps with brush-tip markers.

My Nanna would take me to scrapbooking stores with walls of rubber stamps and giant rolls of stickers. I collected hearts and stars. I wish more of those stores still existed.

I cut sheets of cardstock in half and then cut the edges with patterned scissors. I added stickers and silver ink to make love letters.

Sakura's Gelly Roll pens have made me so happy since before high school. The pens come in metallic, glitter, neon, and gold and silver shades. I use them in my journals. My darling friend Melissa and I used the pens to take notes in class and to write long notes to each other. In Boone when I was an undergrad, I went to Cheap Joe's Art Stuff and bought pens from the mega display. Now, Charlotte has a Cheap Joe's, and even Michaels has a small selection of Gelly Rolls.

I used to make collages with patterned paper, magazine pictures and words, watercolors, glitter, rhinestones, paint swatches, stamps, and stickers.

I've never tired of stickers and wild inks.

Sleeping Beauty's Fairies.

I love the idea of the fairies in Sleeping Beauty coming to bless the new princess and give her gifts. In early versions, I think about 12 fairies visited the baby. What gifts would I want surrounding my cradle?

1. A sense of beauty--feeling beautiful and recognizing beauty with joy.
2. Musical talent. I'd like to learn instruments easily and sing well.
3. A limitless supply of good books.
4. Focus--for reading, conversation, and learning.
5. A love of learning.
6. Time for books and writing.
7. A unique but loving mother's heart.
8. The ability to sew and enjoy it.
9. Kindness.
10. Easy travel.
11. An essential core of joy and peace.
12. I'd save this one in case of a curse!

Surprise Sparkles.

I love surprise sparkles.
My arm, my inner wrist, my chin.
A stray bit of gold.
A patch of purple shimmer.
A glint of pink.
A little shower from a journal.
They feel like reminders of who I am or at least who I want to be.
They surprise me at odd moments and makes me smile.
I often don't know how I got them.
Sometimes, I plant glitter in a book or a bag.
I sometimes find surprise sparkles on people I love.
They make me feel as if almost anything, any place, anyone were potentially magical.

Restoration: Week 7.

This past week, I restored some of my confidence in myself. Oliver had a field trip to a museum in another big city. I volunteered as a chaperone. The driving, parking, finding everything, and managing Oliver's stress were major challenges for me. But I got us through. I probably won't volunteer for anything like that again any time soon, but I know I can be brave if I have to be.

Poetry baths restore my connection to words, the sound and shape of them, as I read aloud.

I went to the gym with Josh at his college. I walked for an hour on the treadmill while I read The Perfect Girl e-book on my phone. We plan to use the gym twice a week in addition to my once-a-week walk with Bruce. I hope that will restore my sense of fitness and endurance.

Josh and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary this past week. I hope we can restore and renew our connection daily.

A Bold Reader: Week 7.

I finished a book this past week: the official movie novelization of Crimson Peak. I felt so dorky reading it, but I enjoyed it so much! The book always gives more than the movie. But I won't get into my book/movie opinions now.

Bruce and I are more than half way through Sleeping Beauties!

I didn't replace Crimson Peak. I need to push myself with my children's lit focus. I only have a month left until spring and the shift to young adult it.

I've not caught up with my Bible yet, but I'm getting there. I read a lot of it yesterday, and I didn't read anything else except for my poetry bath. I liked the immersion.

I'm reading Underwater City, Best American Poetry 2010, and New Southern Poets for my poetry baths. I should be able to finish BAP this coming week.

According to GoodReads, I'm still two books ahead of schedule for my goal!

Restoration: Week 6.

A small but restorative moment: I asked Oliver whom he loved, and he said, "I love Mama." His teacher had told me that he'd answered that question that way at school. I felt my dried-out heart welling up.

Josh and I went to his college to use the gym. Our gym is under renovations. I got on the treadmill and walked for 45 minutes while reading a literary suspense novel (The Perfect Girl) on my phone. I hope to restore my physical health, get closer to my goal weight, and perhaps restore or at least protect my mental health. Josh and I will go to the gym twice a week, and I'll walk with Bruce once a week. I did discover that I've lost another 5 pounds!

I finished two books this past week. I feel much more...nourished now that I am reading regularly again. It restores to me such an important part of myself. And I'm ahead on my GoodReads goal for the year.

I watched a movie called Crimson Peak. It was one of my favorite kinds of movies: psychological thriller with a bit of horror. One of my restoration goals is to watch a movie each week. I have always loved movies.

This coming week, I want to be more curious.

A Bold Reader: Week 6.

I finished two books this past week! I finished the short book on French capsule wardrobes. I didn't get much out of it; I may read another book on the topic.

And I finished Donald Hall's 400+ page selected poems, White Apples and the Taste of Stone. I've read it night by night for weeks, poem by poem. So I've read seven books this year!

I added Underwater City by Kelle Groom to my poetry bath ritual.

Bruce and I are about halfway through Sleeping Beauties, and I'm enjoying it.

I've been reading the (dork alert!) official novelization of Crimson Peak. I really like it. I look forward to getting back to it.

I've fallen behind with the Bible, but I will fix that this week.

Reading so many books at once is a bold move--and I love it. I feel I'm becoming a stronger reader day by day.

Reading Dance Card.

Choosing the books I want to read and in what order reminds me of dance cards--so many slots per event, each dedicated to a dance partner's request.

I'm reading several books at a time. Once I finish one book, I decided whether to replace it or just reduce the number of books I'm reading at once. If I replace the book, I have to choose the next book, probably of the same kind (fiction, non-fiction, poetry...), with careful thought. I only have so many spaces on my current card. But of course, I sometimes choose a book based on whimsy--a spontaneous dance.

I like looking back at the card (via GoodReads, usually) and seeing what I experienced and how pleased I was with my choices. I can't read everything, and I can only read so many books at once. But lately, I've been able to shoulder an usual number. Right now, my card is full with

3 books of non-fiction (autism, hygge, and grief or trauma)
3 suspense novels
3 books of poetry (two small collections and an anthology)

I finished one non-fiction book recently and decided not to replace it. But I love the expanse and variety. I don't read every book every day, but I try to come close. My dance card is full, but that's only for now. I wait for new literary dance partners.

Choosing Happily Ever After.

On the wall by my side of the bed is a collage of cards and other images. Looking at it soothes and excites me.

One item is a deep purple piece of cardstock with a beautiful dimensional gold sticker that says Happily Ever After. Above it are glitter pink letter stickers I Choose.

I love the idea though I'm not totally sure how to do it. My words of the year have helped-invest, delight, restoration.

I choose to live happily ever after with my partner. I'll protect our time together and take joy in the details of him.

I choose to live happily ever after as a mother, cuddling and dancing and paying attention, trying to be grateful no matter what.

I choose to live happily ever after as a reader and writer. I'll try to keep up this good reading season and keep scribbling.

In original fairy tales, terrible things happen, but the ending is the same--enchanted joy. My happily ever after will be more like an ongoing quest than like a destination. I'll have to find a way to choose happiness in the various aspects of my life every day.

Entertain, Educate, and Enrich.

This is a good trio of words. I think everything we experience should accomplish at least one of these tasks, but preferably two or even all of them.

As a teacher, I knew I had to educate my students, but I hoped to enrich their lives as well, simply by giving a worthwhile piece of advice, a clip from a great movie they hadn't seen, a contemporary and accessible poem, or a new insight about themselves. And when I educated well, it didn't end with the course material; I wanted to teach them a few lovely new words, a new confidence in their strengths, and even an understanding of their weaknesses. On lucky days, I think I entertained the students also--making them laugh or forming their essay ideas into a massive web of words on the board. On the best days, I did all three. Of course, I often failed and probably did none of the three. But I like now having the words for what I was trying to do.

Josh can do all three with me. He educates me when I ask; he knows so much on topics about which I know nothing. Our time together enriches my life, even if we're just watching a silly video together. And he entertains me, well familiar with what makes me laugh.

The best books do all three though they educate gently.

I'm not a teacher anymore, but I'm still a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and advocate. I hope to take opportunities to entertain, educate, and enrich through my roles.

Restoration: Week 5.

This past week, I've found small ways to practice restoration (Practice is one of my favorite words). I finished another book, so I'm up-to-date with my reading goal. With practice, I've been restoring my joy, ease, and identity as a reader.

I've been restoring and satisfying my curiosity. I've been reading about hygge and capsule wardrobes, topics that spark my interest.

I've been working on restoring my childhood interest by reading a collection of American Girl stories. I have such happy memories of reading those stories.

I'm restoring and enhancing my love of musical theatre almost every month by attending a show. This past weekend, Bruce and I saw Les Miserables. I'd seen it once before, about 20 years ago. It's another way to stay in touch with my childhood joys. I listened and sang to those songs so much.

Oliver has let me dance and cuddle with him, so we're restoring our connection. Before Les Mis began, Bruce and I looked at newborn Oliver pictures. It's good to remind myself that Oliver is still that sweet baby.

It was a good week for restoration!

A Bold Reader: Week 5.

I finished Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume. Amazingly, it was only my second Blume book. Maybe I'll try another next winter. I wasn't crazy about this one. But I've read 5 books this year!

To replace Tiger Eyes, I've started Felicity's Story Collection. I expect to enjoy it thoroughly, all in one volume that I'll count as one book.

This past week, I started two new short books, one on hygge and another (which I read on my phone) about capsule wardrobes. I've been curious about both topics.

I've kept up with poetry. I think I'll be able to finish one of the books this week. I'm behind on my Bible though. I'll fix that.

I'm also reading a literary suspense (an excellent term that I only learned recently) novel on my phone: The Perfect Girl. Yes, I'm reading a lot of books. I'm loving it.

I read a chunk of Sleeping Beauties with Bruce. It's holding our attention.

Reading on my phone is new. I think I've only read one book that way before these two.

I'm so happy to be reading again.

Why Josh Is Perfect for Me.

• He never makes me feel stupid when I ask obvious questions or show my ignorance.
• He reads poetry.
• He'll sit with me while I watch a scary movie.
• He wears glasses.
• He has curly hair.
• He dresses up for work.
• He's an English professor.
• He's loving and patient when caring for our son is difficult.
• He likes My Fair Lady (one of the first details I learned about him).
• He reads daily.
• He has a brilliant smile.
• He is quick to laugh and make me laugh.
• He loves learning.
• He's curious.
• He has a quick mind.
• He understands maps (I don't!).
• He doesn't mind driving.
• He takes notice of my interests.
• He's always proud of me.
• He has a beautifully-shaped mouth.
• He's helped me study.
• He wants to know what I'm reading.
• He's usually serene.
• He supports my friendships.
• He thinks I'm perfect for him.

A Poetry Fast.

I hear about juice fasts and juice cleanses. I don't know if they are healthy or effective, but I don't think I could try one. An idea came to me though. What about a poetry fast, or even poetry cleanse? No news articles, no blogs, no novels, no memoirs, no stories. I think I have enough poetry in the house to last, and good poetry also welcomes (even demands) rereading.

That kind of immersion is powerful. I feel I'd be a better communicator (reading and writing) in the language of poetry. I think I'd feel lighter. Maybe I would start writing poetry again.

Maybe this year or next year, I'll choose a month and try it. I'd find all my unread poetry books (including the big collections) and set them apart. Josh could bring me books from the college where he works if I started to run low.

Maybe the fall would be a good time. My fall focus is memoirs, and maybe poems are like memoirs. I'd also be pretty secure in my ability to reach my GoodReads goal by that point, so no rushing. October or November (I'm not likely to write a novel in November this year). Of course, I'd still read my Daily Bible, and much of it is like poetry.

I imagine myself emerging from the poetry fast more mentally graceful, more serene, and more courageous (good poetry is usually a bit frightening!). It would also be an experience I'd always remember.