I Want to Feel.

• Oliver snuggling against my back on the futon.
• The shift and shimmer of bath bubbles.
• Oliver willingly holding my hand as we walk.
• The smoothness of my clear skin.
• The surprise of looking down and seeing my prettily polished fingernails.
• The sun warming me during a sunshine nap.
• The perfect weight of our ivy comforter.
• My pants sliding on with no struggle.
• The excitement of getting replies about my writing---even if they didn't pick it, they probably read it.
• Competent and knowledgeable.
• The sense of mentoring someone in my own way.
• Sinking into a bathtub full of Gelly Rolls and other great pens.
• My mom's presence when I'm afraid.
• The smooth beads and charms of my necklaces.
• The easy satisfaction of reading a whole magazine at once.

Ways to Relish Life.

• Pay attention to the color you need to wear and carry with you. I have pink days, purple days, and green days most often. 
• Don't eat something you don't really want. It's not worth the calories. But when your donut craving goes wild, eat the donut.
• Think kind thoughts about people and tell them the thoughts. A few months ago, I prayed, "Let me think only kind thoughts," and that makes saying something nice much easier.
• Evaluate what you love about your home, your family, your self, your life. It's easy to focus only on what you need to fix, and that's draining.
• Sketch, doodle, or do some lettering. This is a discrete way to be creative and to escape a bit.
• Take a nap at that point when you aren't bone-tired but rather deliciously sleepy.

How I Can Spread Glitter.

I can do this literally. At 16, I often sprinkled glitter into my bad, books, and journal. I've done that a little recently, and I want to do more. I've spread a little around the bedroom in general. I need some in my purse. Just seeing those glints in random places (oh, how they travel!) reminds me that life is worth living and that wonderful experiences an objects exist. When it get on Bruce, he has cheerful thoughts of me.

I think I also spread figurative glitter for Bruce by taking him to shows. They sparkle, and they add sparkle t our lives.

One recent night, I woke my wonderful-smelling marshmallow body glitter. I feel beautiful because I was sparkly and sweetened.

What else? I could send letters. I could make more glittery collages. I can use Gelly Roll Stardust pens more often. I can dress in a way that sparkles.

I have a small white box that contains my glitters in little jars and tubes. I can pick a glitter for the day and send it off like a kiss.

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How I Want to Travel.

I recently had the great idea that Mom and I should go to Paris someday--just us. She would be braver and more informed than I. We could skip this and spend forever on that. I wish Paris trips were not limited.

I got to see Phantom twice in one year! Shows can feel a lot like traveling.

I used to be kind of obsessed with the idea of time travel.

I'd like to do a road trip of sorts...focused on bookstores (chain and independent) and aquariums. I would buy at least one book in each state, and I would scribble or even write stories in each aquarium. I don't know who would want to join that. But maybe Josh would. Maybe we'll feel more like active best friends again when Oliver goes to college (or not). That's a long way off, but it kind of doesn't feel that way.

I used to enjoy packing. I loved selecting what I'd have with me on a plane or in a hotel room. Even when I was quite young, I had to have a notebook. That's still true.

Messes That Suggest a Full Life.

• A dashed stack of books suggesting that someone tried to add one book too many or upset the stack while removing a certain volume.
• A spread or pile of pens--someone has been admiring a collection or searching for a certain color and texture or effect to use for that moment's writing.
• Glitter on the counter from making a miniature relaxation jar.
• A spread of rejected clothes for a safe, meaningful job.
• Family mess mixed in with personal creative work, like a photo amid design clippings.
• Sticky notes, notebooks, binders, pens, highlighters, index card--a mess from working to learn.
• My "house purse" spilling magazines, markers, sticky flags, clippings, books...the rations for my spirit and mind. I have plenty of stores to replenish the bag, so I don't need to save anything.

What Excites Me.

• Rock concerts...including the anticipation
• Shows--costumes, orchestra tuning up
• Oliver's voluntarily cuddling with me
• Josh's tickling my arm or back
• The text message sound on my phone
• The crack of opening a soda can
• Sonic--those big drinks!
• Recognizing an actor I've seen elsewhere
• Updating Bruce on everything
• Going out to shop or explore with Mom
• Seeing someone open a gift from me
• Seeing books on writing
• Fairy tale retellings
• Playing on GoodReads
• Getting the mail
• Doctor Who
• Starting a movie with Bruce
• Going to a movie at Cinebarre with Mom
• Shirley Temples
• The intro to the songs "The Phantom of the Opera" and "The Beauty Underneath"
• The upcoming Beauty and the Beast movie
• Most Disneyness 

How to Nourish Magic.

The artist Tasha Tudor said that magic is for any age, but we have to nourish it. Adult life can so easily crush it. Here are some ideas:

• Absorb art, including and maybe especially fantasy art. Amy Brown, Jessica Galbreth, Josephine Wall, and Maxine Gadd are some good starting points. Get a few books online or from the library and let the images tell their stories. This will keep fairies, mermaids, and elves on the outskirts of your mind, ready to play. Of course, fantasy can be dark (which is not necessarily evil) too, and this can offer a kind of compassion and solace when you face pain that seems completely alien. 
• Absorb theatre. Costumes, makeup, scenery, music, and effects make any good show a breathing fantasy. 
• Invest in your mind, imagination, and suspension of disbelief--three of your most magical and precious possessions. 
• And why not explore Tasha Tudor's art? My favorite pieces are her illustrations for A Little Princess and The Secret Garden.