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Friday, May 18, 2018

My Flaws.

Here is a small selection of my faults:
  • I can be bossy and controlling.
  • I'm not a good guest I don't know how to help, and I get so sleepy.
  • I have adult acne--bummer.
  • I'm afraid of museum mannequins.
  • I'm afraid of taxidermy in museum settings.
  • I don't pay attention when I walk across the road.
  • I get in people's way and have no idea they're there.
  • I have expensive taste in makeup.
  • I have an unpleasant resting face.
  • I have something of a soda addiction.
  • I'm terrible at making friends and worse at keeping them.
  • I'm the worst at painting my nails. 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

A Willing Mind: 1 Chronicles 28:9.

I saw this phrase when I was reading the Bible, and I wondered what it meant. What does a willing mind do? Here are my thoughts:

A willing mind
  • Is open to new conversation topics.
  • Is not intimidated when picking up a large or complex book.
  • Is open to learning from others.
  • Is able to acknowledge varying strengths and intelligence in others.
  • Is comfortable talking about others' beliefs.
  • Is non-judgmental
  • Asks huge questions and tiny questions.
  • Learns eagerly. 
  • Considers all new knowledge valuable.
  • Forms mental and emotional connections easily.
  • Does not shy away from the opportunity to learn something complex.
  • Is open to God's peace.
  • Is empathic and considerate.
  • Accepts love gladly.
  • Uses available resources well.
  • Stuffs itself with stories.
  • Appreciates art easily.
  • Accepts good advice. 
I only have some of these qualities (and sometimes, probably none), but it's a list to strive for.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

I Insist Upon:

  • Trying to add beauty to everything.
  • Thick leggings.
  • Long shirts.
  • Sturdy journal paper.
  • Sparkly shoes.
  • Regular oatmeal (as in not low sugar!).
  • Carrot cake without raisins.
  • Baked goods with nuts but not with fruit.
  • Glimmering eye makeup.
  • Gel pencil eyeliners.
  • The Royal Albert Hall soundtrack of The Phantom of the Opera unless I'm in a Michael Crawford mood.
  • Pens that are beautiful, colorful, glittery, or metallic.
  • Reading every day, even if it's only a little.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Story Snippet: The Song He Wants.

For the past few weeks, I've often listened to The Greatest Showman soundtrack while I get ready. Recently, I noticed that Oliver was singing, and I realized he was singing "The Is Me." I hurried with my phone and played the song. He turned to me with this little smile that said, "You know me."

We danced to the song, and we've done this a few times now. It's extra special because both Oliver and I have conditions that make us different from other people in some major ways. But we love each other.


Restoration: Week 19.

I read a lot of poetry this past week. I think it keeps me healthy somehow. It certainly makes me think in unusual ways.

Bruce and I have watched most of Electric Dreams, based on Philip K. Dick stories. Every episode has been good. Science fiction makes me think about what it means to be human...or even sentient. I like sharing those thoughts with Bruce without even talking.

I wrote a flash fiction piece a few days ago! It restored a little of my confidence in my ability to write. Josh and Bruce both liked the story.

I wen to my psychiatrist and had my medication adjusted. I hope this small change will restore my peace of mind and remind me how to be free.

Monday, May 14, 2018

A Bold Reader: Week 19.

I finished one book this past week: Rita Dove's Selected Poems. I've been working on that one for a long time, and I enjoyed it. That puts me at 29/50 books for the year! I'm going to reach my annual reading goal.

I replaced Dove with Susan Ludvigson's new and selected poems, Sweet Confluence. I loved Everything Winged Must Be Dreaming, so I expect to love this selection.

Bruce and I started Ursula K. Le Guin's The Unreal and the Real selected stories. We didn't love the first four stories, but I'm liking the 5th so far. The book is huge. But we can handle it. I love our tiny book club.

I'll finish the Disney Villains series this week. That will give me a total of 5 spring young adult books, but I hope to read more. But I'm also looking forward to my short story summer.

Friday, May 11, 2018

The Desires of My Heart.

I read in Psalm 37, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I love the sound of this. What does God/David mean by this? I suppose many shallow and selfish desires don't come from the heart. What does my heart truly desire?
  • Financial independence 
  • No debt from lenders
  • No debt from family
  • Peace day and night
  • Focus
  • Full gratitude
  • Energy for everything
  • Good friends
  • Smooth school days for Oliver
  • Josh's feeling my love
  • Travel, someday
  • A solid marriage
  • Oliver's security and joy
  • Oliver's catching up quickly
  • Great reading stamina
What does your heart desire?