What Makes Me Feel Beautiful.

• Jeans that fit. Even if I don't like the size I need.
• Unexpected glitter on my skin, such as finding sparkles on my hands after using a glitter gel pen.
• Dancing, even if I'm just playing around at home.
• Jewelry. Earrings and necklaces are another way to express my style, and they make me feel confident. Out in the world, I get more compliments on my jewelry than anything else.
• Displaying photos of myself when I was truly happy. I have one in my living room. It reminds me of how capable I am of happiness and how pretty that happiness can be. It's also just a great photo of Oliver and me, so I see it when I visit family too.
• Being told I'm beautiful. As I've said, I get this from two men every day and on sweet rare occasions from others. People do need to be told they look great; I need to remember that.
• Swimming. I feel fluid and bright in the water.
• Hearing that I'm graceful. A few people have said this (when I was 12, 20...), and it's one of the best compliments.
• Wearing pink. Pink seems to do what even makeup can't. I feel aglow when I wear certain shades of pink.
• Wearing rings. Someone complimented my hands when I was 14, and I've never forgotten it. I love adding sparkle to my hands--rings catch the light and adorn my hands, which are precious tools without which I couldn't turn a page.
• Writing by hand. The pose and movement feel lovely, and I know I must glimmer when I'm deep in one of the actions I love most.
• Having Good Mother Moments. A good mother is always beautiful. I feel a little of that beauty when I know I'm effectively guiding Oliver or showing him love.
• Getting eye contact from Oliver. Occasionally, he will smile, tilt his head, and gaze into my eyes for several seconds. I drop everything and feel like I must have wings.
• Wearing lipstick. I went years without caring for lipstick, but now, I'm enjoying it, especially if it sparkles. I've even started using lip liner! I like having some control over the face I show each day.
• Wearing eye makeup. I like my green eyes, and I like framing them. It's a way to play and express myself.
• Good leave-in conditioner. My hair is naturally unruly and tangled. But if it's trimmed and shiny and dark, I feel like Snow White.
• Embracing my skin. I'm quite pale, but I enjoy the contrast with my hair.
• Complimenting others. When I notice and comment on others' appearance, for some reason, I feel pretty too.

Current Emergencies.

• I'm nearly out of mermaid stickers.
• I don't have enough store credit to buy the mermaid journals at 2nd and Charles.
• My birthday has passed, and I must live without eating carrot cake twice a day.
• I can't buy all the sparkly makeup in the world (especially this).
• I'm not automatically getting thin.
• I won't see Phantom until March.
• My black eyeliner is transferring.
• The Phantom refuses to sing to me through the mirror on my door.
• Terrence Mann never wrote me back.
• The Handmaid's Tale is over. Until NEXT YEAR.
• Rain has soaked the ankles of my jeans. Shudder.
• I can't find my Beauty and the Beast sweatshirt (edit: Josh found it).
• I won't be going to Disney World any time soon.
• Mail doesn't come on Sundays. Mail is the original Chick Fil-A.
• I look forward to mail, and then, it's bills.
• I'm terrible at painting my nails.
• I can't say essential words like giraffe, kimono, and mischievous.

Last Day of 31.

Every year on the day before my birthday, I take some time to write about or at least ponder all that I've done in the previous year. I feel like I should earn the next year. Thirty-one has not been an easy year, so I'm going to do my best with this.

• I've adjusted to being a stay-at-home mother--not the best one, but a functional one.
• I spent the entire year trying to get Oliver set up in ABA therapy. And tomorrow, on my birthday, Oliver will meet his own ABA technician who will work with him one-on-one for 20 hours a week.
• I got Oliver into pre-Kindergarten--much paperwork and plenty of meetings (with help from Mom).
• I recovered from my first broken bone.
• I embraced stability when I had it and didn't despair when I lost it. I'm scraping along.
• I watched my blog exceed 100,000 views.
• I read 39 books.

My list is usually much longer, but some of these are especially impactful or took an especially long time. So, do you think that's enough?