Nourish/Challenge: Week 8.

This past week, Bruce and I finished reading Bird Box. It was so good. The book and the movie complement each other well. The book was a bit scarier. Now, our tiny book club is ready for book #20!

I have a goal to watch at least one movie a week. I think it enriches my mind, gives me something new to ponder. This past week, I saw two movies! I watched Loving Annabelle on my own; I didn't much care for it. Bruce took me to see Glass at the theater. I really liked it! It was exciting. James McAvoy impressed me, and the movie had some sweet moments. I've read a couple of books about DID, and I may look for more. I found it fascinating (though tragic) that a trauma could cause one to create a new person to handle it. That's oversimplifying it, of course.

I've been reading a DK Eyewitness book on ancient Egypt bit by bit. Wow. Anything that makes me say "Wow" (in a positive way), is probably good for me, expanding my mind.

I've also been reading American Girls Felicity's Story Collection. I want to finish it before spring begins (and the children's literature focus time ends). I'm not doing well with my seasonal themes. I have less than a month left. But I'm challenging myself to make progress.

I went to Target twice. I always feel inspired there, even if I'm just picking something up for the boys. I found three new kinds of vegetarian soup for Josh. I feel good when I do something thoughtful. It makes me feel like a worthwhile person. So I've been challenging myself to be kind in new ways.

Josh made a fire one morning, and I fell asleep beside it. I love memories like that.

My main challenge for this coming week: read more!

What I Most Want to Know about You 2.

Play along!

1. What are your favorite professional voices?
2. What qualities do you admire in a celebrity?
3. What is your favorite kind of mail?
4. What's the easiest way to make you feel loved?
5. What is a loss that would make your life dull?
6. What is your favorite jewel?
7. With which Wizard of Oz character do you most identify?
8. What is something beautiful for your day?
9. What are your should-be-guilty-but-aren't pleasures?
10. What's something really weird about your life right now?
11. What's something odd you just love?
12. What can been a recent, unexpected luxury for you?

1. What are your favorite professional voices? Musically, Michael Crawford, Ramin Karimloo, Dennis DeYoung, Corinne Bailey Rae, and Billy Joel. In general, Alan Rickman (shed a tear).
2. What qualities do you admire in a celebrity? I love celebrities who will be good sports and make fun of themselves. I also admire their stamina, and I'm impressed when they are kind and gentle with fans.
3. What is your favorite kind of mail? I love my Stitch Fix, but a used $4 book from Amazon is really awesome.
4. What's the easiest way to make you feel loved? Probably just a sincere, firm hug. But a fun question (like one of these) can do it too. Any kind of tiny gift lights me up.
5. What is a loss that would make your life dull? Glitter. Really. I would be so down if it disappeared. I always try to incorporate glitter into what I wear and what I do.
6. What is your favorite jewel? That's tough. I love amethyst...I also love emerald, opal, tanzanite, and ruby. I wear a lot of costume jewelry rings, and they can be beautiful.
7. With which Wizard of Oz character do you most identify? Maybe the Cowardly Lion. I feel anxious and panicked much of the time, yet I've proven (to others) my courage many times.
8. What is something beautiful for your day? Hmm. Oliver's dancing. The bubbles in my wine glass of Sprite. Josh's reading.
9. What are your should-be-guilty-but-aren't pleasures? Mixing baby blue glitter drops into my foundation. Drinking a Cherry Coke. Watching scary movies by myself (with Josh nearby). Binge watching American Horror Story with Bruce.
10. What's something really weird about your life right now? Our lives revolve around magazines. Oliver is obsessed with tearing them up. I look at my magazines and then give them to him--which is kind of good since I have a lot of magazines clutter. Mom and Bruce save magazines for Oliver too. He carpets the floor with magazine shreds. Clean-up is pretty constant. This phase has become long-term.
11. What's something odd you just love? I love journals that are made to look like books, with the title on the decorative cover and spine. The most recent one I found is blue and claims to contain love stories.
12. What can been a recent, unexpected luxury for you? A box of 200 lens wipes. Now, I can really clean my glasses thoroughly once a day or so.

Glitter Something!

Glitter something has been an item on my to-do wish list for a while. My mom recently told me that she spread glitter in her new pink-and-ivory craft room. I was so pleased with this!

Wearing glitter clothes or accessories is one way to do it. I'm always on high alert. Most of the shoes I wear regularly are so sparkly. Just looking at myself gives me a boost when I'm sparkly. I have all layers of sparkly costume jewelry--some of it small and subtle and some wild statement pieces.

I've definitely spread glitter randomly. In high school especially, I sprinkled glitter in my bag and into the pages of my books and journals. Recently, I spread shiny, tiny, pink hearts over the carpet on my side of the bed.

• I use glitter pens as much as I can.
• I send sparkly greeting cards. My brother may finally see it coming now!
• My phone case is full of tiny, shiny, purple hearts.

The idea is to add more glitter, especially where it can be a joyous surprise. I need reminders that I have creative magic.

Favorite Beauty Items.

I may have done this before, but here is a new take.

• Sexy Healthy Hair Tri-Wheat Leave-in Conditioner. This makes such a difference for my wet, tangled hair. It's expensive, so I watch Ulta for deals. We've used this is Oliver's hair too.
• Benefit Porefessional primer. It makes my face feel like a doll's. I've never actually purchased it; I chase samples.
• Urban Decay Moondust eyeshadow palette. From pale pink to dark metal, this palette offers great pigment and amazing fine glitter. I was incredibly excited when this launched. 
• Too Faced Glitter Bomb eyeshadow palette. This followed the UD version, but they are different enough, and I love every glitter trend (okay, maybe not every).
• Cover FX Glitter Drops in Lunar. This small bottle contains incredible shimmer. I mix it with my foundation, and it I really pause to look, I can see pale blue sparkles all over my face. I love it. Eventually, I want to get Aurora, the pink version.
• Fenty highlighter due Kilowatt Foil Freestyle I in 7daywknd/Poolside. These shades defy description. I use them as eyeshadow. Unique violets and lilacs captivate me. 
• Fresh Sugar lip treatment in Rose. I've gotten miniature versions of this as samples, but even though the full-size ones are crazy expensive, I think they are worth it.
• Urban Decay Born to Run Collection Vice Lipstick in Ready?. It's a bright rose shade with bold golden glitter. I have two backups (which feel insufficient). It's a limited edition lipstick.
• Marc Jacobs Beauty Twinkle Pop Stick Eyeshadow in Shoshanna, a teal sparkler. I'd love to have every shade. It's easy to apply directly and to blend with a brush.
• Marc Jacobs Beauty Highliner Gel Eye Crayon Eyeliner in (Stone)Fox, a creamy, shimmery gunmetal shade. Gel pencils have become my choice for eyeliner. 
• Stila In the Moment eyeshadow palette. Full of purples and golds, this is the best I've tried from Stila. Some combination of shades probably looks good on everyone.
• Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow Stick in Pink Sparkle. Great name! This is a gorgeous pale pink with subtle yet plentiful glitter.
• Clinique Almost Lipstick in Pink Honey. The color is sweet, but the best part is the sleek, slender, silver design, which reminds me of getting my first lipstick at 12 on Easter--Clinique Almost Lipstick in Almost Kissed. Mom made me feel special and beautiful with that, and I still appreciate it.
• Disney & Sephora Cinderella eyeshadow palette. This was a magical collaboration that ended too soon. I remember seeing that stunning blue and silver packaging. The blues, silver, whites, and greens are just gorgeous.
• Ponds Evening Soothe Wet Cleansing Towelettes. When I was in critical care after Oliver was born, my mama bought these to clean my face. The scent is soothing because of that memory.
• Bath and Body Works Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin body splash. This was the favorite of my darling friend Melissa, and she got me into it too. It's the perfect balance of spice and sweet, and it makes me feel confident.
• Urban Decay marshmallow body glitter. My brother gave me this when mine got ruined in a sink pipe flood (I learned: no makeup under the sink!). It smells like marshmallow. I feel intriguing when I wear it.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 7.

The sickness continued this past week. Both boys were home sick. I didn't accomplish much. But I did go to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Bruce. The show was quite colorful with some dark bits and plenty of strangeness. The Oompa Loompas were impressive and a little frightening...very Jim Henson. Musical theatre always lifts and nourishes me. Live theatre always amazes me.

My sweet mother sent me a care package! Snow Princess sticker doll, aquarium stickers, a beautiful gift edition of Jesus Calling (which she is reading with her Bible study group), paper plates with shining mermaid scales, and a gorgeous (and not too intricate like most adult coloring books) mermaid coloring book. I felt seen. 

I wrote a read little this past week. I did one blog post. I hope I will be able to get back to my normal routines and practices. I think some alone time will fix me up.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed having my family here.

Story Snippet: Cookie Monsters.

When my mother lived in a cozy townhome named Pansy Cottage, she had a dark purple blanket that was big and so warm and soft. I said something about its being like hugging the Cookie Monster. So I started to call it, and other blankets that had a similar feel, Cookie Monsters.

When Mom and Shane lived in another city, I found a Shabby Chic lavender Cookie Monster under the purple comforter on the guest bed.

Finally, I bought my own Shabby Chic Cookie Monster in mint green years ago. It lies over my purple-and-teal-word duvet cover.

And a few Christmases ago, I bought Bruce his own gray and ivory Cookie Monster. And because I talk far too much, he totally got the significance.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 6.

I've been very sick this past week with side effects from my new medication, so I'm not impressed with my accomplishments. I wrote a little. I made one blog post, and I paid attention to my family.

I read several chapters from Bird Box for the tiny book club. One day, I read the book for over an hour. I'm almost never able to stay undistracted for that long. But I'm going to try for it again. That's a challenge and a form of nourishment. The book is so interesting even though I've already seen the movie (Bruce and I came across it by luck).

Good news: I found out that Oliver will be able to go back to ABA for four hours a week with a new tech (Miss Maria moved away). More hours are supposed to open up soon, but I'm glad to get what we can get. Getting Oliver into ABA is one of the biggest challenges I've had to face, so I'm holding on tight.

During my sickness, I've had some random cravings. One night around 7:30 p.m., I suddenly had a craving for Caesar salad--crisp romaine, strong dressing, soft croutons, Parmesan cheese--and it had to be Panera. So Josh ventured out, and oh did I love that salad! I'd dive into another right now.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 5.

This post is quite late because I've been sick all week. More about that later.

Bruce and I began reading Bird Box after seeing (ha) the movie, and we are liking it. The shifts in time work well as they did in the movie, and we like the short, glimpse-like chapters.

I was horrifically late to a meeting with Oliver's BCBAs at ABA. They were gracious as usual. We identified my priorities as potty training (it was finally going well, but now, we're going backward), communication (verbal), and writing. He's had some tiny breakthroughs lately, and I try to pay attention to those. Oliver is there, but so many obstacles are in the way. I feel like he can't hear us calling.

I started planning and writing down outfits for coming weeks. I check the large sticky note in my journal cover to see the clothes, shoes, jewelry, and even makeup I've planned for that day. It's even better when I actually lay it all own the night before. I want to enjoy what I have and reduce morning stress.

I got some precious encouragement about my other blog, Water in a Wine Glass: Learning to Live with Bipolar Disorder. I'm trying to give it more attention. I posted there twice this past week! If it matters to only one person (and even if that one person is me), it's worthwhile.

Josh's early wedding anniversary gift to me arrived. An artist on Etsy made it: a sterling silver band with a tiny silver open book. It makes me think of a ring that represents my commitment to myself, literature, health.

I got a purple bath bomb, and I was so excited to find a Claddagh ring, an Irish wedding band, with a big purple stone as the heart. My wedding set doesn't fit, but I'm now clearly showing that I'm attached.

I want to grasp every opportunity to be joyful.

Purest Joys.

As a child, I often experienced such innocent and pure joy and anticipation. Exuberant excitement. I want to revisit that experience and maybe learn to bring it back into my life Some of these joys have stayed with me.

• Finding wild violets. They don't stay long, but they're my favorite flower.
• Paper dolls. I loved (and love) fairy tale and American Girl paper dolls. I think Mom got excited about them with me. I remember digging in a bin of coloring books and paper dolls at Davis-Kidd. I think I had one set of Victorian mice. The smallness and the tiny details made me swoon.
• Looking at Dolls. Mom and used to go to Lindsey's Doll Cottage in TN and a toy store in Charlotte primarily to get a close look at Madame Alexander dolls (and look for Tasha Tudor books...but that's a different post). I could gaze and gaze. I remember seeing a 10" Jo March doll with a loaded trunk. I've wanted it ever since, but I've never been able to find it. Still, I like remembering.
• Buying a new showtunes CD. I would save up enough money for the tape, and Dad would pay the rest to get a superior (and fairly new) CD. I always went to the showtunes or Karaoke section at Media Play. Many years ago, my supervisor at Borders teased me because I was so excited when the Broadway soundtrack for The Little Mermaid arrived.
• Shopping for stickers and rubber stamps with Nanna. Those were some of my happiest times. I thought about how I would decorate my school folders and my love letters. I still have a wonderfully outrageous sticker collection, which I usually use in my journals. I still get excited when I see stickers at a store, even a grocery store.
• Going to shows, though I think my wildest reactions had a tinge of mania. Those are some of the most important memories of my life.
• Using makeup. I first saw makeup as a way to hide my blemishes (so I could stand to be out in the world--at least everyone would know I was trying to spare them the sight of my face) or as a means of transforming, for example, into Aladdin's princess. Years later, I realized that makeup is a wonderful way to express myself, experiment, and have fun.
• Hunting for antiques. While this interest didn't really follow me into adulthood, I remember the thrill of musty antique shops. I looked for accessories for my dress-up play, such as a pair of white gloves on which I spent all my money. I loved antique school books. Josh shared that interest.
• Playing with American Girl dolls. Christmas was a time for doll clothes and accessories. And the dolls had stories, which I checked out from the library. I packed their bags when we went on trips, which we did often when I was around that age. I could look and look at the catalog, circling the codes for items I wanted most. And I still get the catalog! Mom has taken me to the AG store, and it seems so wonderful. I might have lost my mind (haha) if the store had existed back then.

I can learn from my childhood and teenage self. I can revisit old joys and seek out new ones.