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Thursday, November 30, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 39.

  1. Kind dental assistants
  2. Unopened pens
  3. Necklaces from Josh
  4. Anna Sui designs for PB Teen
  5. Memories of a box of paper doilies
  6. A used book in the mail
  7. Gunmetal gray cars
  8. Free shipping
  9. A multi-colored pack of cardstock
  10. Polka dot socks
  11. Capes
  12. A new book by my favorite poet
  13. Upcoming releases from my favorite writers
  14. Making lists of my favorite words
  15. Glacier green
  16. Fun fads like mermaids and unicorns
  17. Best American anthologies
  18. Beautifully-wrapped soaps
  19. Sudden darkness in winter
  20. Josh's getting excited about seeing "a cool dog"
  21. Oliver's commenting on the moon
  22. Velvet, especially dark blue
  23. Oliver's expecting praise after completing a puzzle
  24. Black gold-style jewelry
  25. Jane Eyre adaptations
One more list to go!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

I Miss.

In no particular order:
  • Lemonade
  • My parents and step parents
  • My dearest Keely
  • My darling Melissa
  • Cherry Coke
  • All the art we've had to take down (Oliver is in a destructive phase)
  • Milk
  • Exchanging letters
  • Playing dress up
  • Deep, detailed daydreaming
  • Playing with dolls
  • My cats
  • Wild violets
  • Sonic's cherry Sprite
  • Apple juice
  • Irish step dancing at a competition
  • Carrot cake
  • Easy reading
  • Writing stories
  • Writing poems
  • Swimming
  • The book Jane Eyre
  • Disney World (especially the Wilderness Lodge)
  • Sunset Boulevard
  • Aunt Linda
  • My great grandmothers
  • Kay, our teacher and dear friend
  • My grammy
  • My hilarious brother
  • Directing little plays
  • Watching Next Gen with Mom
  • Watching Next Gen with Josh
  • Dark Stardust pens (discontinued)
  • Aquariums
  • Oliver's blond curls

Monday, November 27, 2017

Times I've Felt Most Loved: Part 2.

  • My dearest friend, Keely, picked me up and ran to the house when I got a bee sting as a kid.
  • On her last visit, Mom took out the trash as she left.
  • When I was little, my nanna told me a long story (with answers to my many questions) about how she would take care of me if I were Thumbelina-sized.
  • I was on a business trip with my parents, and I forgot to bring a notebook. I felt sick without one. Mom and Dad went to a dinner, and Mom came back to the hotel with a spiral notebook from a gas station. I was astounded by the love in that gesture. She didn't have to understand; loving me was enough.
  • Melissa is always a brilliant gift-giber, tuning into my obsessions and wishes.
  • My grandfather used to buy me a book or two for the plane ride home.
  • Nursing Oliver, I felt a pure, simple, and profound form of love flowing between us.
  • Nick used to bring me a giant Frappuccino when I had a lot of homework.
  • Mom put scented gel pens in one of my last Easter baskets.
  • My uncle Chris took me to see Peter Pan and got me Peter's autograph!
  • After I got my wisdom teeth removed recently, Mom got up in the night to give me pain meds.
  • Dad took me to see Sunset Boulevard and bought me all the souvenirs I wanted.
  • Mom came with me to meetings as I tried to get Oliver into Pre-K. She took over when I wore down.
  • Shane gave us a new washer and dryer when ours were breaking down. Oliver was a newborn, and we were doing laundry constantly.
  • Michelle gave me a Q & A for Writers book. I feel great any time someone validates my writer self.
  • Bruce took care of Oliver all day while I was in the ER with lithium toxicity.
  • I taught Oliver to kiss early, and he was a generous kisser.
  • My mom-in-law kissed my check when I was in labor.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Week 5 as a Bold Reader.

I forgot to do this post last week. I finished Duende. This week, I finished The Apple That Astonished Paris. I need to catch up on Billy Collins.

I finished the front matter of  the dual-language Libro de Poems by Federico Garcia Lorca. The poems seem a little daunting, especially since I plan to read aloud the Spanish (though I'll probably understand very little, I want to let the language flow over me) and well as the translation.

I've still been reading Donald Hall poems one or two at a time. I'm noticeably past the half way point of his book.

Bath time is poetry time. It's a good arrangement, and I like associating one with the other.

I have a few more books on the armrests of my chair. I hope to spend some time with The Broken Way tonight. I've been reading Girlfriends by Susan Branch. It's light and colorful, and her handwriting is almost as delightful as her illustrations. I've read the front matter of Uniquely Human, which I think I need to read as a parent of a child with autism. Melissa recommended it to me.

And last, Ozma of Oz. Oliver won't let us read to him lately. I read the first two Oz books to him. I'm reading this third on my own, and it delights me. There's that word of the year again! Today, I read three or four chapters of Ozma of Oz.

Magazines intimidate me for some reason, but I hope to overcome that this coming week. Bolder and bolder!

Friday, November 24, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 38.

  1. Watching Oliver eat red grapes
  2. Living room dance parties with Oliver
  3. Rose Petal Lane (it's real!)
  4. Eating holiday cake or pie for breakfast
  5. Bonding with my brother over Little Women and Anne of Green Gables movies
  6. Bonding with my brother over the book Stargirl
  7. Philadelphia cheese cake cups
  8. A short, shallow bath before my shower
  9. The bright yellow tree across the pond
  10. Reading a little poetry each day
  11. Hearing Josh speak sweetly to Oliver
  12. Autumn leaves against a bright blue sky
  13. Drinking Cherry Coke in the bath
  14. Swimming in hotel pools at night
  15. My Jo March doll that reminds me I'm a writer
  16. Reading subscription box reviews
  17. Letting go of a situation I can't control
  18. Oliver's beloved plush dogs, Brr Brr and Radar
  19. Oliver's interest in music and dance
  20. Oliver's hair in the breeze
  21. Learning about poets' lives
  22. Reading aloud well (rare!)
  23. Short Stories stickers on library book spines
  24. The jeweled style of FLB's early books
  25. A pre-ordered book arriving on release day

Monday, November 20, 2017

By Request: Favorite Books.

By request, I'm going to share some of my favorite books with you. I stopped listing when I filled up a journal page. The first four are in order, but the rest are not.
  1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
  2. Dangerous Angels by Francesca Lia Block
  3. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
  4. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
  5. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger
  6. Entre Nous by Debra Ollivier
  7. Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott
  8. The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux
  9. Necklace of Kisses by Francesca Lia Block
  10. Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards
  11. An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
  12. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
  13. The Triggering Town by Richard Hugo
  14. How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff
  15. Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote
  16. Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen
  17. Ghost Girl by Amy Gerstler
  18. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
  19. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
  20. Blue beyond Blue by Lauren Slater
  21. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
  22. The Borrowers by Mary Norton
  23. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
  24. Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
  25. Life Is Meals by James Salter
  26. Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos
  27. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
  28. Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Trivial Quirks.

  • When I'm shopping, and I like an item, I like to carry it around the store for a while. Then, I can easily decide whether or not to buy it.
  • I have three composition books that I'm slowly filling with my favorite quotations, images, poetry lines, and other book bits. I feel like I can keep the best bits of the books I've read. I have a fourth composition book that is full.
  • When I buy a journal or get one as a gift, I usually write when, where, and with whom I bought the journal or who gave it to me. I love remembering, especially if I don't use the journal right away.
  • I use coffee mugs primarily to hold pens, sometimes divided by color. Once, my mom couldn't find a mug for her coffee. I think she washed out a pen mug.
  • I don't generally drink coffee. But I do like iced peppermint mocha. I don't really like hot drinks.
  • I struggle with wearing my clothes backward or inside-out.
  • I use a lot of made-up words in conversation with those closest to me. Some are entirely made-up; many are baby words of mine and my brother's.
  • I like to take baths during the day.
  • When something in a store overwhelms me, I sometimes sit down right on the floor.
  • I can listen to a new favorite song on repeat for a long time.
  • I drink several liters of water a day.
  • I almost always prefer a spoon over a fork.
  • I like to keep on display photos in which I look really happy. It's a good reminder, and it gives me hope.
  • I've never lit a match. I think I'm afraid of burning myself.
  • I can recite segments of many movies, even those I've not seen in years.
  • I write my lowercase A's in two ways, interchangeably. A student once asked me why; I had no answer.
  • I don't put milk in my cereal.
  • I prefer most of my food plain.
  • I know a lot of movie and theatre trivia.
  • I could go to an aquarium every day.
  • I sing and make up songs at random.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Favorite Songs.

Some of my favorite songs, not necessarily in order:
  1. "Hysteria" by Def Leppard
  2. "One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles
  3. Title Songs from The Phantom of the Opera
  4. "Stay with You" by Goo Goo Dolls
  5. "Trial by Fire" by Journey
  6. "Melody" by Steve Perry
  7. "If I Can't Love Her" from Beauty and the Beast on Broadway
  8. "The Beauty Underneath" from Love Never Dies
  9. "I Want It All" by Edwin McCain
  10. "There's Me" from the Starlight Express concept album
  11. "Mandolin Rain" by Bruce Hornsby
  12. "When Love and Hate Collide" by Def Leppard
  13. "Between the Lines" by Sara Bareilles
  14. "What about Us" by John Barrowman
  15. "Waiting in Vain" by Annie Lennox
  16. "Flying Away" from Fun Home
  17. "Nobody Ever" by Steven Curtis Chapman
  18. "You Must Love Me" from Evita
  19. "Falling Back to Me" by Our Lady Peace
  20. "Out of Touch" by Hall and Oates
  21. "Another Rainy Day" by Corinne Bailey Rae
  22. "Paris Nights and New York Mornings" by Corinne Bailey Rae
  23. "I Don't Let It End" by Styx
  24. "Send Her My Love" by Journey
  25. "Can't Take It In" by Imogen Heap

Thursday, November 16, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 37.

  1. Pens color-coordinated in cubbies
  2. The scent of lilac (partly because my mom likes it)
  3. The character Jean-Luc Picard
  4. Singing Broadway show tunes in the car with Bruce
  5. Oliver's great love for an ivy-print comforter
  6. Our guest room full of books
  7. Giant glass bottles of bubble bath
  8. The rhinestones on the glasses Mom gave me
  9. Emptying an ink cartridge
  10. The quilt my sister-in-law made for Oliver
  11. White or black marble
  12. Well-headed indoor pools
  13. Showing Bruce more about fountain pens
  14. Helping others learn something I know or do well
  15. Thick multi-colored polka dot socks
  16. Unexpected positive reactions to my posts
  17. A royal blue double ribbon bookmark
  18. A memory of a bookmark with baby unicorns at an elementary school bookfair
  19. Cheap Joe's Art Stuff
  20. Buying a fistful of Gelly Roll pens at Cheap Joe's
  21. Mini bagels with honey
  22. Josh's surprising me with Broadway references
  23. Singing silly songs with my brother
  24. American Girl catalogs
  25. My black glittens

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Never Save.

Never save joys for later. New joys will come when old ones expire. Don't miss what is left before you by hiding it in a box under your bed. It may turn to dust. Some form of light is available in every day. We are ungrateful and self-punishing when we don't seize that light.

Here are some ideas to consider:
  • Wear the jewelry. I used to be afraid to wear the ring my parents gave me when I finished grad school. I was so afraid of breaking or losing the ring, so I kept it in its box for years. Now, I wear it often, right alongside my costume jewelry rings. Even if something bad does happen, a little time of actually wearing it is better than a long time of keeping it in the box.
  • Don't save costume jewelry for special occasions. Wear your favorite necklace with jeans.
  • Use your best dishes on ordinary days. I have a beautifully painted set of dessert plates, and I eat sandwiches off them.
  • Don't save the most delicious book. Dive in now and then find another book for vacation.
  • Don't stop using your favorite eyeshadow because you hit the pan. Keep enjoying it; you'll find a new favorite when the shadow is gone.
  • Don't reserve clothes and shoes for work. I was awful about doing this. Enjoy them whenever you can.
  • Go ahead and eat the piece of chocolate. Your future self will find her own.
  • Don't save a beautiful journal for pristine, brilliant thoughts. Your thoughts are beautiful now.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Stuff I'm a Little Obsessed with Right Now.

  • Leslie Jones. She's hilarious!
  • Dan Stevens. He's the beast prince! Of course I adore him.
  • Transformation and Kiss Scene in Beauty and the Beast--just a satisfying moment on YouTube.
  • Sparkly makeup and applying as much as possible--going over regular eyeliner with gold glitter liner.
  • Using beauty samples--finally using what I've stashed away.
  • Pilot Hi-Tecpoint V5 Grip--my favorite pen of the moment
  • Josh. I miss him intensely when he's away
  • Pink and gold--gorgeous apart and together. I want to add more of both to my life.

I'm not even mentioning all the constant or easily-revived obsessions like seahorses, fairies, mermaids, pens in general, journals, theatre (Phantom especially), necklaces, glitter in general...

Monday, November 13, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 36.

  1. Working on Christmas shopping
  2. Checking someone off my gift list
  3. Dark butterflies
  4. Checking something off my list using a different color
  5. Eucalyptus Tea scent in Bruce's living room
  6. Showing off a new funny video
  7. Mom's getting up in the night to give me meds
  8. My dad's sounding happy to talk to me on the phone
  9. Dropping a bill payment in the mail slot
  10. A cold bottle of water handed to me
  11. Chipping away at a huge book of poetry
  12. Re-reading a beloved book
  13. Sitting up in bed
  14. People who give me pens. Any kind.
  15. Josh's remembering to bring my blanket on a trip
  16. Cold Cherry Coke
  17. The thought of touching a seahorse
  18. Sharing a goal with someone
  19. My hair, new red even without sunlight
  20. Deep conditioning hair masks
  21. Mac and cheese with broccoli--best comfort food
  22. Unexpectedly painless hours
  23. Valentine's Day dish towels
  24. "Accidental" glitter spills
  25. Purple sequin flats

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Week 3 as a Bold Reader.

A few weeks ago, I made a goal to read deeply and widely and not to let fear slow me.

I wish I had more to report. But I did finish Long Division, and I enjoyed reading it aloud in the bath.

I'm still reading Donald Hall's poem aloud, one or two at a time.

I started Tracy K. Smith's poems Duende. I'm close to halfway through it. Again, I'm reading it aloud in the bathtub.

I want to get back to being able to read regardless of what's happening around me. Josh is really good at that.

The apartment is cold, which makes me want to snuggle up with a blanket and a book. I hope that feeling will help me rebuild good reading habits.

I got my wisdom teeth taken out this wee, so I guess I should be more excited that I've read at all.

I am feeling less intimidated when I encounter a book of poetry. That's good because I'm running out of slim volumes at home.

Josh has been reading books of poetry as I finish them. I just place them on his nightstand. I like that we are absorbing the same words and images. That has to keep us closer somehow.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 35.

  1. Kicking through the yellow leaves on the sidewalk
  2. Speaking truth
  3. A nurse who gets my vein the first time
  4. A love note
  5. Appropriately confident doctors
  6. Compendium gift books
  7. Remembering my meds
  8. Fruit 2 O strawberry water
  9. Clicky top pens
  10. Drinking as much water as I want
  11. Slipping in and out of a nap
  12. Being given an order in which to open gifts
  13. The bubble scene in Cinderella
  14. Tiny treasures in stockings
  15. Touching ribbons
  16. Items organized by color
  17. Progress on Christmas shopping
  18. Memories of Cinderella trading cards
  19. My Christmas gifts stacked atop my wardrobe
  20. Purple-striped fleece pajama pants
  21. Buying something for Mom that she would like but would never buy for herself
  22. Sephora Flash shipping
  23. Hummingbirds--impossibly darling
  24. Various forms of chaise lounges
  25. Key jewelry

Friday, November 10, 2017

Travel Tips.

I don't travel much now, but I traveled a ton as a child. I've picked up a few ideas.
  • Bring a notebook. Having a notebook is important for the greatest and the smallest trips. It can be a journal (or a specific travel journal), but it doesn't have to be. You're going to encounter many shops, places, ideas, and objects you'll want to revisit. Write them down--otherwise, you'll get too overloaded to remember.
  • Bring your onw large water bottle to take everywhere. Bring two if you can wash one and use the other.
  • Buy a fold-up cosmetic bag that will hang from a hook or a towel rack.
  • Buy all the travel-sized items you'll need. You probably already have samples like toothpaste, lotion, face wash, and shampoo and condition. Buy fold-up toothbrushes and hair brushes. Always have your bag ready to go without having to remember (and return) your everyday items.
  • Load a makeup bag. Half-used foundation, a brush kit, a small eyeshadow palette...again, make it ready-to-go.
  • Bring a good, high-quality magazine such as Darling and Bella Grace. These will be good when you're stuck waiting but don't feel like a terminal news shop magazine. But of course, go ahead and read those too, and bring at least one book.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

A Dream Come True.

So many of my dreams have come true. I forget that sometimes; I guess we all do. I do write about my dreams come true on here once. I'll try not to repeat myself with these fulfilled dreams, tiny and huge.
  • Not having to work. The circumstances are not ideal, but the stress of working would probably make me very sick again. But Josh has taken over with a job he loves.
  • I have had beautiful long, black hair like a non-Disney princess.
  • I've got season tickets to the Durham Performing Arts Center.
  • Having seen Phantom 5 times and having tickets for the 6th time.
  • I've become pretty good at putting together an outfit. I never thought that would happen.
  • I live in a comfortable home with good safe spaces.
  • My child speaks more and more.
  • My nail polish is perfect periwinkle with multi-color, holographic sparkle. It may be my favorite polish ever.
  • Dippin' Dots are available just down the road.
  • I've become more deliberate and determined in seeking beauty and filling my life with that beauty.
What dreams of yours have come true?

Monday, November 6, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 34.

  1. Watching ink fill a fountain pen converter
  2. Reorganizing my books
  3. Bananas that open easily
  4. Something wonderful coming tomorrow
  5. Argan oil in my hair
  6. Stickers of hot air balloons
  7. Oliver's gorgeous eyelashes
  8. The air conditioning on my back
  9. Curtain calls
  10. Seeing when and were I bought a journal (when I remember, I write it in the back cover)
  11. The moment when a theatre gets dark
  12. The way Bruce immediately starts reading the program for a show
  13. Bruce's excitement before a show begins
  14. Trading trivia with loved ones
  15. Oliver's eventual willingness to drink Gatorade when he's sick
  16. The "12 Little Chicks" song from Sesame Street
  17. Hot tortilla chips
  18. My mom's drawing for me
  19. The purple fairy pouch Mom made for me
  20. Green glitter hiding in my bookcase
  21. Reliable senses
  22. Wristlets for theatre going
  23. Leggings that actually work as pants
  24. Memories of Dad's buying me Sunset Boulevard souvenirs.
  25. Reading a former professor's book with my cowardly lion sticky flags

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Week 2 as a Bold Reader.

I finished Dream Work. I want to get back to reading The Broken Way and the beautiful magazine Bella Grace. But that will have to happen next week because I've been focused on poetry this week.

While I was organizing my bedside bookcase, I found Long Division, a book of poems by my MFA thesis advisor, Alan Michael Parker. How have I not already read it?

I also found a large book of Donald Hall's selected poems. It was marked about 1/3 of the way through. I decided to read at least one DH poem per day. One more poem and one more poem add up to a book of poems.

Long Division has been my read-aloud bathtub book this week. I read several poems each day as I rebuild my reading muscles. I should finish the book tonight.

When I started the book, I reached into my sticky flag pouch and pulled out flags with the cowardly lion on them. This made me laugh. I've already used six of them (a lot for me) for my favorite images and lines. But I won't tell you what I flagged. You'll have to go get your own copy of Long Division and your own cowardly lion sticky flags.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Love Threads.

"Love weaves itself from hundreds of threads."

David Levithan

This caught my attention. Maybe the initial meetings, the first bright lights of attraction and empathy form the loom. It's not everything, but it's important. Those memories need protecting and frequent polishing. The loom is the beginning of love, the base for growth.

And then, if it's to be, the threads begin to unravel and stretch across the loom. Sometimes, the supply is generous and richly colored. At other times, the thread is pale and thin. But if we keep weaving, even the weaker threads become a part of a beautiful pattern. Threads can be as trivial as a shared love of strawberry jam or as thick and varied as having a child together.

I always want to gather new threads. Josh and I recently celebrated our 12 years together. Our love has many strong places and some that may need bolstering. We both love sunshine naps! Even something like that makes our love stronger and more beautiful.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

The Kind of Person I'd Like to Meet.

  • Someone who always looks cozy-sweaters, tights, flannel...
  • Someone who is a bit mysterious
  • Someone with scuffs on her shoes
  • Someone who is always reading something
  • Someone who reads 100 books a year
  • Someone who makes what she wants when she can't find it, such as a tote bag in a certain shade of pink
  • Someone who makes paper dolls
  • Someone who makes paper doll art
  • Someone who can do ribbon embroidery
  • Someone who wears boots
  • Someone who often scribbles in an intriguing notebook
  • Someone who never returns pens but always bleeds them dry
  • Someone who seems to spy on people
  • Someone who mixes color strangely in clothes and makeup
  • Someone with a tiny nose stud that looks like a fleck of glitter
  • Someone who doesn't drink soda
  • Someone who has multiple favorite poets
  • Someone who embraces her curly hair
  • Someone who has posters on her ceiling
  • Someone who has a garden

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

1,000 Joys: Part 33.

  1. Lavender, purple, sage, and mint bowls from Anthropologie
  2. Bowls shaped like giant mugs
  3. Someone saving me from a bug
  4. Josh's offering to take Oliver to school, so I can sleep more
  5. Valentine's Day socks
  6. My quotation notebooks, full of the best bits of books I've read
  7. Good handwriting days (not today!)
  8. Lavender envelopes
  9. Lean Cuisine frozen meals (some of them)
  10. Peach roses blooming on Josh's campus
  11. Oliver's obeying or listening
  12. My light blue cozy shirt with silver threads
  13. Josh's kindness in offering me nap time
  14. Pressure-washed sidewalks
  15. Walnuts in chocolates and baked goods
  16. The shape of Josh's lips
  17. Josh's perfect hands
  18. Running errands with Bruce
  19. Skippyjon Jones
  20. Filled pages
  21. Tiny red leaves on the sidewalk
  22. The intro to "You Raise Me Up"
  23. Hand-me-downs that fit well
  24. Tiny salt spoons
  25. Listening to Chicago while driving as the sun rises