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Saturday, May 7, 2022

Stillness & Attention: Week 18.

Day 1: Today was another great day. Josh and I woke up before Oliver did, so we spent a little time together, and then, he played video games in bed next to me while I went back to sleep for a bit--a relaxed start. While Josh went through morning routines with Oliver, I prepared and sent a fiction submission. I'm trying some more approachable markets with my fiction. My fiction definitely isn't as advanced as my poetry; I simply haven't written nearly as much fiction. With that, I've sent out 100 pieces this month. 

Josh left to run a 5k at the college. I finished reading A Fortune for Your Disaster. Later, we went to the park for about three hours. I started reading The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing aloud to Josh. I haven't read poetry aloud since I taught Intro to Lit. In the evening, Josh and I put away three big loads of laundry together.

I finished setting up my May planner today, so I'm ready to start a new month tomorrow. I hope to get back in steps with all my good habits. Bummer--my crown came out while I was flossing, and I can't do anything about it this weekend.

Day 2: Last night, I had trouble going to sleep. So I got in the bath and finished reading Snow White and Rose Red. That's two books in one day. That brought me to 14 books for April, which is pretty good though it's one fewer than I planned. Strep really derailed me. 

I slept quite poorly last night, and I gave up around 4 a.m. Josh came downstairs later, and we cuddled on the couch. I fell asleep in his lap. When Oliver got up, I went back to sleep on the couch while he and Josh went to McDonalds for their weekend hashbrown date. I moved to my chair, planning to get some work done, but ended up sleeping again. I think I've caught up on my sleep. 

Oliver started to get a little freaky for some reason, so we decided to go to the park. We were there for almost three hours again. Oliver discovered that the splash pad had opened, so we spent part of the time there. Josh cuddled and kissed me as we sat on a towel together. I love his PDAs. I read more of The Art of Losing to him, and some of the poems were a real bummer. I'm reading it to him because we've been talking about processing grief. We're about one-third of the way through the book already. We managed to get Oliver to leave the park by offering fries. I got a quarter pounder, and amazingly, I still have 100 calories left for today. 

When we got home, I edited an old story called "Doorknobs" and submitted it to a magazine. That's my first submission of May. I hope to get a lot more done today even though I slept so much!

Day 3: Monday. Another good day. In the morning, I read several poems from Sharon Olds's One Secret Thing. She has become one of my favorite poets. After Josh took Oliver to school, we snuggled until it was time for his interview for this summer position he applied for. It was a long and fancy interview; we should know next week. If he gets the position, we can pay off some bills (and maybe get that dresser?). If he doesn't, Oliver and I will have more time with him this summer.

We did yoga together and watched another episode of Documentary Now, a hilarious one about recording a Broadway show album. I recognized Renee Elise Goldsberry. She's amazing.

I wore a pink sparkle tank top, jeans, emerald rhinestone sneakers, my jewelry box necklaces, and Huda Rose Quartz eye shadow to the dentist. They love to see my shoes. 

I wrote today with a Slicci metallic pink pen--such a luxury. Sliccis are normally absurdly expensive, but I got some on mega sale at the end of last year.


I spent some time on Olga Dies Dreaming and A Vow So Bold and Deadly, both of which I'm really enjoying. I have a few books due on May 14, so I need to get reading. I sent three poems to a magazine this afternoon. I really didn't get down-hearted today like I often do on Mondays. Bruce sent me a little love note, so that helped. 

Day 4: Tuesday. I went for a walk today and spent a little time with Josh. I've been staying under my calorie goal and doing weights, the ab series, and other exercises each day. We'll see what happens.  

I sent a ten-poem submission to a magazine! I still have over 100 pieces out. I received two form rejections within about ten minutes. Great. I'm hoping May will bring some good writing news. I'm scribbling with a Gelly Roll lime metallic pen that Leah sent me--it's one of my favorites.

My smart watch (my Mother's Day present) arrived! Now I can track my activity, sleep, and (very fast) heart rate. I have the same one Josh has. 

I got all my daily and weekly habits today, which is rare. I read to Josh from One Secret Thing, which I finished this evening. He was pretty impressed with Sharon Olds too. I have two more of her books in the study and one waiting at the library. I plan to read all her books. Another comes out later this year. 

Day 5: Wednesday. This is teacher appreciation week, so we wrote thank you notes (pink, gold, and glittery, of course) to Oliver's teachers, and Josh got them Barnes gift cards. The school is having a little breakfast on Friday for Mother's Day. Oliver will not like my coming into the school with him; he'll probably want to leave. So I may be bringing him back with me. I'll try to explain to him what's going to happen. 

Josh took Oliver to school this morning, and then we got in bed, and I slept for an hour! I don't know why I've been able to sleep more lately. Maybe it's because I'm exercising more. In any case, it was nice. We did yoga, and I got ready. I wore jean shorts (Kut from the Kloth), a blue cold-shoulder top (it's still cute), and Moondust eyeshadow with Kate Spade/Keds baby blue glitter shoes. 

We went to Target for printer ink and a new pillow. Josh got me The Habit, which was delicious and will take up most of my calories for the day. We got groceries, which was again absurdly expensive. When Josh left for work, I didn't have much time before I went to pick up Oliver. And what did I do? I slept. Yes. It's bizarre. 

I enjoyed listening to The Fixed Stars in the car while I got Oliver. I'm not sure how much I'd like it as a regular book, but I like the narrator. 

Day 6: Thursday. Last night, I did some more exercising and yoga to get down to my calorie goal for the day. I had big plans to read and scribble after Oliver went to bed, and I had stories to read for the magazine. But what did I do? I fell asleep. Without meds. I did realize that my Ritalin from yesterday morning was still in the pill box, so that's at least part of why I slept so much yesterday. I wasn't depressed--just sleepy. 

I went back to the dentist today for a cleaning, and I had a clear exam! This is the first time that's happened in years. I have terrible dry mouth and just terrible teeth, so I was very pleased. Maybe I can pay off the old work before I have to get new work. The electric toothbrush, prescription toothpaste, and fluoride treatments must be helping. 

Back at home, I started reading Anthony S. Abbott's New and Selected Poems. I read his The Girl in a Yellow Raincoat while I was in grad school. Josh had his last meetings with two of his classes and was able to come home early, so we had some time together. He had found time to proofread my book, so I've made corrections. Bruce is proofreading too, so the book should be ready for submission. The deadline is May 15. 

I've felt a little sick today but not depressed. Since I had strep, I haven't been able to taste soda normally. It tastes flat. This is very unpleasant because you know how much I love Dr. Pepper. I guess it's helping me save calories and avoid cavities. I haven't accomplished much besides working a little on my book, reading some poems, and doing some weights, leg lifts, and the ab series. I'd like to get a lot more reading done today. I'm still reading An Acceptable Time to the boys. We're almost two-thirds of the way through it. 

I'll go to the library tomorrow before I pick up Oliver. I have three books to return and several to pick up, including (I think) all of Sharon Olds's books! I'm going to binge on them. 

Day 7: Friday. The little Mother's Day party went fine. I wore a navy maxi dress over a baby pink tank top with baby pink glitter shoes, a pink and gold key necklace, and Colour Pop Flutterby pink glitter eye shadow. I explained to Oliver what was happening, and he seemed to accept it if not totally understand it. The fellowship hall was swathed in pink silk. I ate the top of  a chocolate chip muffin and chatted with the teachers. Every seems to know and love Oliver. I got him to sing "Snuggle Puppy" for his teacher. I hope she stays at the school. I wonder who his teachers will be next year. 

I got home and spent a little time with Josh. When he left for work, I went to the library. I picked up Anatomy: A Love Story, a book I requested, and eight holds. I got The Awakened Brain, which I don't remember holding; the Definitive Edition of Anne Frank's Diary (I've read the typical edition; I think everyone should read her diary); Sleepless, a thriller I noticed at Barnes; and what I believe are the remaining five Sharon Olds poetry collections. Excellent. I have about a week to finish and return four books...oh boy. I've been so sleepy lately that I haven't been reading enough. I think it's because of my new medication. Hopefully, the side effects will wear off soon. When I got home from the library, I took a nap. 

Josh was able to come home a little early after a couple of final classes. We got to cuddle. Later, I worked on laundry, scribbled my five pages in my huge journal, and worked out until I was under my calories for the day. That's ten days in a row! My computer shut down suddenly in the middle of a submission and won't turn on though it's on the charger. If it's broken, I don't know how I'll send submissions, work on my book, or update my blog. I'll check on it tomorrow. I may be spending a lot more time at the library. 

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