Day 1: Saturday. My computer is working again! Thank goodness. It's a Chrome Book that I really like. The only part I really don't like is that I can only open one document at a time, which makes editing and preparing submissions difficult. But I'll use it as long as I can because we definitely can't afford a new laptop.
Oliver kindly slept through the night, so Josh and I got to wake up together and chat in bed. I sent out those five poems I meant to send yesterday. I've sent 20 pieces this month, and I have 113 pieces out total. Yesterday, a postal submission response came in--an acceptance! A poem about my working at Borders will be published in Blue Collar Review, which has published four other poems of mine, a couple last year and a couple many years ago--three about working in bookstores and one about waiting tables. It's not an incredibly exciting acceptance, but I'm quite pleased. I was hoping for an acceptance this month. That bumps up my acceptance rate a little; it's now 7.6%. I'd like to get to 10%. We'll see. I'm researching more markets. It's time consuming.
Bruce and I went to DPAC to see My Fair Lady. It was quite good. I saved calories for our customary soft pretzel and peanut M&Ms. As usual, we sang show tunes in the car.
Day 2: Sunday. Mother's Day. Josh wanted to go get me a burger today, but I hadn't budgeted the calories for it. I did have some delicious Chedda Believe It Moon Cheese. I continue to drink soda occasionally for the happy ritual of it even though it doesn't taste right.
Oddly enough, Olive did not ask to go to the park today, so we got a break from that. It was a good day for such a break because it was cold. I sent out a submission of four poems and continued planning out future submissions. I received a rejection with an invitation to submit again, which is always encouraging. My plans are messy, but duotrope keeps my records neat and organized.
Day 3: Monday. My car needs an oil change, and Josh's needs an inspection and probable repairs. We've been having trouble since those surprise taxes, so my mom lent us some money to take care of the cars. That's a relief. We should hear this week about the summer position for which Josh applied. If he gets it, we'll be in better shape but not until the end of July. Part-time pay at community colleges is badly delayed.
I told my grandparents that we'd no longer need their support after next month. That's probably not true, but we won't need it for Oliver's school as it looks almost certain that we'll receive a disabilities grant for his tuition and (hopefully) his fees. We are enormously blessed in that, and getting that was a great deal of work! It is one of accomplishments of which I'm most proud. In a couple of months, we'll pay off Josh's hospital expenses from last year, so that will be one bill gone. Since I didn't have any cavities this time (a miracle with my teeth--thank God Oliver got Josh's strong teeth!), maybe we can pay off my old dental work before I need new work! And we're close to paying off Josh's undergrad loans though I doubt we can pay them off before we go back to paying off his grad loans. Come on, Biden; give us some help.
We have no savings and a lot of debt. I'm doing the best I can with it. My disability pay isn't much, but it's more than I could make teaching part time. I don't think we could both teach full time and take proper care of Oliver, especially since he has so many days off and such long summers. I don't know how people do it, especially with a child (or children) with special needs. Josh has a great job and works hard, and I'm doing the NoBuy year. We'll continue to reassess.
But in better news, Josh and I spent the morning together. We did yoga, rested, and talked. I'm cherishing these last hours we have alone together. When we're resting, I often look at this collage by the bed.
I got a little grumpy and down later in the day, but Bruce had finished proofreading my book, so I got to work on that. He caught several silly typos, a few confusing bits, and a repeating dialogue formatting error. I fixed it all, and then I created a new cover letter and sent the book to the magazine that is taking submissions of fantasy novellas! It's a long shot, but it's a special possibility. I feel great knowing my first fiction book is out there and someone I don't know may read it. I've workshopped parts of it, but no one but Josh, Mom, and Bruce has read the whole book. No one has asked to read it.
Day 4: Tuesday. I spent most of the morning scribbling, trying to get my pages in. Josh and I spent some time together in the afternoon. Tomorrow, we'll have our last stretch of time alone. I will miss that time terribly. Josh took Oliver to OT. I really appreciate his doing that. I'll take Oliver for the next couple of weeks as Josh will have long days. Josh brought home a quarter pounder--I had budgeted the calories, and it was delicious. I sent a piece of flash fiction to a magazine. Josh and I sat out in the sunlight on the back steps for a good while and talked. He was about as open with me as he's ever been.
Day 5: I finished my journaling yesterday, and I had great intentions to read a lot after the boys went to bed, but that's not what happened. I lay down and fell fast asleep around 7:30. I slept for 11 hours and 30 minutes. I woke up relaxed just before 7 a.m. as Josh was taking a shower after getting home from the gym. I showered, put on some comfortable clothes, and spread white sparkle on my eyelids. We took Oliver to school and then went to Lowe's for a shower knob (ours had cracked) and a cheap leaf blower for the back yard. ]Then, we got groceries. That was expensive as always. Our chickpea pasta arrived in the mail, so I plan to cook with it this week and see what we think of it. I read a few poems from The Art of Losing to Josh in the car. I'd like to finish the book this week. Next, we're going to read Bittersweet, a nonfiction book on the positive aspects of being melancholy.
Back at home, we cuddled and rested. I wrote a little while he napped. Either my general fatigue has faded, or my body was satisfied with the amazing sleep I got last night. We did yoga and ate lunch together. Josh went to work, and I wrote a little more before going to the library to pick up a couple of holds, including yet another Sharon Olds book (I thought I had them all!). I picked up Oliver from school and dropped off a great many snack bags of chips for one of their end-of-the-year celebrations next week. Josh went to Party City after work and bought glow sticks for another school celebration. He's taken time off for some of those events next week.
I sent five poems to a magazine I'm determined to infiltrate. The editor recently sent me a rejection but invited me to submit again, so I did so today, the first day of a new submission period. He will get used to seeing my name.
Oliver does not like Josh's leaving the house, especially through the back door. Josh wanted to work on the yard this afternoon, so I prepared Oliver for hours in advance: "Later, Daddy is going to go in the back yard alone with the weed eater and the leaf blower and clean up the yard. You and I will stay inside. It will be loud. It will take a little while, and then, Daddy will come back inside." I told him this three times. When Josh was ready, he left through the front door (less traumatic) and walked around to the back yard. Oliver watched from the sliding door, and he did just fine. His receptive language (what he understands) seems to be a lot more advanced than his expressive language (what he says), and he really handles things pretty well if we prepare him well. We were worried about how Josh would take care of the yard this summer (he usually does it while Oliver is at school), but it seems like that will be fine.
I've done all my exercises today except for squats, which I've added to my daily routine this week. I think I'm getting some muscle in my arms. I've started doing at least a little yoga almost every day. I've stayed under my calorie goal (sometimes too far under) for a couple of weeks now. I'm 2 pounds down, and I'll weigh again this weekend. I'm hoping that I'll have to make an exception to my NoBuy to get a pair of smaller jeans before the year ends.
Day 6: Thursday. I received a form rejection for a story, so I sent out another story to another magazine. I still have 123 pieces pending. Who knows?
I had the day to myself, but I was in an odd mood. I made pasta salad with the chickpea pasta; it turned out fine. I journaled. I napped a little in the gloomy day. I listened to Corinne Bailey Rae as I got ready. I didn't feel like putting on makeup (shock), so I just applied some glitter and some red Fresh Sugar Icon lip gloss. I listened to The Fixed Stars in the car and picked up Oliver. When Josh got home, I read some of An Acceptable Time to the boys. We only have 50 pages left. Maybe we can finish it this week.
Day 7: Friday. Today was a bit more productive. I did my journaling, napped for an hour, and did laundry and housework. I wore lavender jeans, a light pink ruffled tank top with a tiny black heart print, baby pink glitter shoes, and princess (crown and scepter) earrings. Again, I didn't feel like putting on makeup, so I just wore some Urban Decay pink and gold highlighter on my eyelids and some Fresh Sugar Bloom lip shimmer. That may become my general summer look.
The afternoon brought a little sunshine. I wanted to soak it all up. I've been a little sick to my stomach, so I'm not eating much. Tomorrow, if I remember, I'll weigh myself and see if I've lost any weight this week. I just hope I haven't gained--though that seems impossible. But I could be building muscle more quickly than I'm burning fat. I'm looking forward to having a new middle number, but that's a ways off.
Oliver had a good day at school. His teacher sent home all his school stuff, so they really are done with academics. Next week is all fun. Josh got home earlier than I expected today, and we sat on the back steps together in unexpected sunlight.
Josh and I are making plans to go to Asheville in August for a half marathon. We're going to try to make a romantic weekend of it. It will be our first trip since New York and likely our only trip this year. I want Josh to have something to look forward to and work toward, and I want something to look forward to as well. I found a condo in downtown Asheville; we could walk to the race. I see myself lounging at the condo or browsing in shops and then waiting for Josh at the finish line. The race is in the morning, so we'll have the rest of the day to rest and explore. By then, we will have gotten summer pay for Josh's class and/or new position, so we'll be able to enjoy some good food, and we won't have to worry too much about gas. We haven't been to Asheville together since we were dating.
All the days of May have been good overall: joyful or passionate on my mood tracker. I hope that continues.
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