Stories about Hair.

My hair has been every length, from all the way down my back to a pixie cut. It's been natural brown and reddish brown and dyed red and black.

My pixie cut and dark dye were my most extreme change. I was 23. Terrible things had happened. I'd said I'd never dye my hair, but the world was different. I needed to be different. I'd always wondered if I could pull off a pixie anyway.

Cutting hair in response to experiences wasn't new. I cut my hair shoulder-length when I was 18 over a break-up. But it was more than just some break-up, and I knew I had to be a new person to live past it. My lovely Melissa was there, encouraging me both about the hair and the life.

I cut my hair into a bob before Josh retruned from the army with a medical discharge. Our lives were not going to be what I'd imagined and accepted. I wanted Josh to see I'd changed, that I was changing with him.

But I actually feel most like myself with long hair, even if it's frizzy or unhealthy. I've had a few perms, and I do love curls, so that may happen again someday.

Exchanging Books.

I've thought it would be interesting for Josh and I to choosing books the other should read over the next year. I like the idea, but he might choose books that are too difficult or disturbing for me, and he might not like what I choose either. But I guess that branching out is the point. Books could shape one's mind and refine a personality, challenge the reader, or simply help the reader better understand the other person. 

Here are my ideas for Josh:

1. Dangerous Angels
2. The Good Earth
3. The Sugar Queen
4. How I Live Now
5. Jane Eyre
6. Wuthering Heights
7. Writing down the Bones
8. Ghost Girl 
9. 5 Love Languages
10. Living a Beautiful Life

This is a pretty good start. 10 might be good for a year the first time; we'd still have plenty of time for our own books. Just for fun, I'll ask Josh which books he would choose for me.

A Book a Day.

In the movie God Help the Girl, the character Eve sings, "I read a book a day like an apple." I like how this connects reading to health.

I read a memoir of someone who moved into Shakespeare and Company. Besides helping to run the store, the only rent was that he had to read a whole book every day and let the owner quiz him.

The thought of reading a book a day is fascinating and fightening. Think what that amount of literature could do to one's heart and mind! It could be magical. How on earth would I find the time to read so much? Maybe I have concentration problems and get distracted too easily. I know I don't use all my free minutes well. If I'm nervous, I can't read at all.

When we lived in a remote town when Josh taught his first year of high school, I was working on my thesis and reading books the faculty had assigned. My goal was to read 100 books that year, but I often finished a book each day. I didn't start and finish in one day all the time, but I usually had a rotation of books going at once. I read poetry aloud, and when I'm really present for poetry, I swim through it quickly. I consider those 100+ books one of my best accomplishments. 

Jewelry.

If someone had never met me but saw my jewelry laid out on a table, he or she might think me vain or materialistic. That person wouldn't even know how many necklaces I gave to Mom to dismantle for crafts!

But another person might find the jewelry interesting and the owner creative.I have so many kinds of necklaces and earrings. I only have 2 or 3 pieces of real jewelry. I love costume jewelry. A lot of mine comes from Ann Taylor Loft or Betsey Johnson. I'm good at hunting for sales.

I was at the mall with Mom, Shane, Josh, and Oliver a few years ago when Mom noticed a short, gold-tone necklace with three purple-rhinestone-adorned snowflakes. It was too perfect. It was too expensive. I bought it anyway, and I put it on right then.

During a major sale at Banana Republic, Mom and I found a necklace in black, silver tone, and gold tone with several large chains and matching keys of varying shapes and sizes. It makes me think of a darker version of The Secret Garden. 

Jewelry is fun and expressive for me, and it boosts my confidence. I'm trying to wear some each day even though I'm not working. 

How to Stay in Love (and Make it Work!) for 10 Years.

Somehow, Josh and I have done this. We had rocky beginnings, and I often regard our relationship as a miracle. And while I still believe that, I want to think about what we've done, practically, to keep our relationship strong, happy, and fun.

• Find common interests or experiences as soon as possible. Josh and I were taking two of the same classes, so we were pre-connected through theatre and poetry. We found music and movies we both liked. These are little bits of relationship glue.
• Gather experiences together, such as visiting botanical gardens, going out to a movie or play, going to concerts, or talking about books at Barnes and Noble.
• Touch. Don't skip the joy of holding hands. This one is tricky, but touch (even a touch on the shoulder) wakes up all those bonding hormones. This can build a close connection quickly and can patch a relationship that is facing challenges. So keep touching no matter how long you've been together.
• Learn the other person's sense of humor. Try to merge it with yours. Laughter creates intimacy too. Make inside jokes over time.
• Tell your secrets. Invest when it feels like a bearable risk. 
• Commit to avoiding destructive behaviors such as shouting and name calling. These can wreck in minutes what you've worked on for years.

New Ways to Stay Engaged with Your Journal.

One can have a life-long relationship with a journal. The journal itself will change over time, just as the person writing will. One beautiful aspect of the journal is that it is a kind of writing that is open to everyone--not only to aspiring or professional writers. But any long-term relationship needs adjustments. Here are some ideas for keeping your journaling fresh.

• Play with color. If your journals are plain, try one a colorful cover and colorful or screen printed pages.
• Shop for future volumes. Go to Barnes, a stationery shop, or a gift shop. Seeing those empty journals may make you want to scribble.
• Stop worrying about being messy. If your handwriting changes daily, it's just reflecting your changing moods.
• Use different kinds of writing utensils: markers, ballpoints, metallic or glitter Gelly Rolls, a fountain pen...focus on the tactile experience. Find your favorites.
• Doodle. Add stickers. Make a mess.
• If you find inspiring questions, quotations, or phrases, write them on a new page. Respond to the prompt on that page right away, or flag it an come back to it later.
• If you love an expensive journal but feel bad about buying it, remember that you may use it daily for months. Maybe that's worthwhile!

My Favorite Objects.

I have a close relationship with concrete objects. I could tell stories about most of the objects in my house. Object draw me to others and connect me to myself. Here are some of my favorites:

• The silky green button-down blouse Mom gave me. I remember her buying it. She let me wear it to my reading at Queens, and I felt that my reading went well. Mom had the shirt for years, and I was so surprised when she gave it to me. Good memories live in the stitches.
• My blanket. It's soft, pink, and stretchy. I've had it since I was a baby, and I still sleep with it. Falling asleep without it is difficult.
• My collection/selection of pens. These inspire me to write, and they can match any mood.
• My makeup. I love all the colors and the degrees of shimmer. It makes me feel more like myself, and it gives me a way to express how I feel on a given day.
• My denim chaise lounge. I taught an extra class to buy this. It's elegant (chaise) in a sassy (denim) way. I need to use it more.
• My necklaces. I seriously reduced my collection recently, but I still have many beautiful necklaces that make me feel confident and pretty.

What are some of your favorite objects?