Day 1: Saturday. Yesterday, I took a two-hour nap in my chair. I probably needed it. I finished West Wind by Mary Oliver and Wild Swims, short stories by Dorthe Nors. I did go to the library and pick up holds. Bruce came over, and we talked for almost three hours.
Today, I got to sleep until 7, which was pretty exciting. I started and finished A Thousand Mornings: Poems by Mary Oliver. I've read three stories for the magazine today, and I still have one waiting. They've been coming in steadily.
We got groceries today. I got some stock-up items to make my mom feel better (she thinks we need to hoard food): pasta, pasta sauce, rice, and beans. I don't know what Oliver would eat if we didn't have his staples.
Oliver had a bit of a meltdown today. He said he wanted to "watch a picture of a helicopter." We couldn't figure out what he meant. We tried videos of helicopters and even videos of people drawing helicopters. He roared and pitched his tablet but got over it and went outside after a little while.
I haven't sent out a submission in over thirty days. I still have 114 pieces out. When Oliver returns to school, will I be more focused? Am I really just surviving the summer?
My mood went downhill when one of my crowns came out. That's the second in the last couple of months. I really wanted to be done with the dentist for a while, and I don't know when I'll get a chance to go get this crown fixed. Josh asked me for a cuddle on Oliver's crash pad.
Day 2: Sunday. I've now read six books this month, which is pretty good. I started Some Things I Still Can't Tell You: Poems by Misha Collins yesterday. It's not really my kind of poetry, but I'm trying to read all kinds.
I got up just before 7 and expected Josh to have left for his run. He hadn't, though, so he suggested we cuddle in the guest bed while Oliver sleeps on in our bed (where he ended up at some point in the night). Josh and I took a lovely hour-long nap. Last night, I tried taking melatonin with Xanax instead of ibuprofen p.m., and it seems to have worked well. I'm thankful that Oliver slept in this morning. I don't know what to do about Oliver's sleeping in our bed and needing Josh to put him to bed every night. At least one of us ends up sleeping elsewhere. It's going to get weirder and more impractical as Oliver gets older, but he has no consciousness of that.
I did a little Pinterest exploring and showed Josh a couple of my boards. I should look at them more myself.
I need to go back to timed reading sessions to get through some of these library books. I have to structure myself to achieve that stillness and attention. I look forward to choosing my nonfiction books for fall; most of them will come from my own collection. I've still only finished one book of short stories this summer, so I have a lot of work to do.
At the moment, I don't feel hurt, bitterness, anxiety, anger, or fear. I feel calm gratitude. I've started The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter, and I'm enjoying it so far. It's a speculative mystery that combines a lot of literary characters (or their daughters), including Dr. Jekyll, Frankenstein, Dr. Moreau, and Sherlock Holmes.
I've got a touch of the Sunday night blues. Oliver had another accident today. These two three-day weekends have felt too short.
Day 3: Monday. I have a lot of blank journals in the wardrobe in the guest room. I'm thinking about reorganizing them by brand and type (meaning whether or not I can write in them with fountain pens). That would be fun. The wardrobe also holds my jewelry (all costume), books from which I need to write down quotations, my sticker binders, sweaters, and magazines.
I've picked out some throw pillow covers for my new loveseat. I also got an ottoman and tray. I'm still well under our furniture budget for this year, and I was able to do interest-free payments. The loveseat will arrive next week. I want the study to be my morning room where I read magazines and ease into the day. If that bothers Oliver, I'll just start when he goes to school. The gray fabric slipper chair I ordered for the bathroom arrived yesterday. I don't know when Josh will be able to build it, but I look forward to having a place to sit during Oliver's long baths.
The Strange Case of the Alchemist's Daughter is pretty funky, but I'm enjoying it. It's showing me that I can still do focused reading and get a mood boost from it. I'm dragging on 13 Stories and 13 Epitaphs. The first story has no quotation marks and no paragraph breaks. It's already late, so I may just return it and devote more time to it later. Eventually, the majority of my library books will be story collections, so I'll be more focused. I have so many other books to read. I did finish a journal today. I started a Peter Pauper Press journal that has the design for a French edition of the Song of Songs.
Mom said she may keep Oliver this weekend, and I'm trying not to get excited about the thought. It'd be great timing since Josh's summer grades are due at the beginning of next week.
My mouth hurts. I managed to get a dentist appointment this afternoon, and Josh is going to take a late lunch hour so I can go. I've got to wear pretty shoes--staff comes to see my shoes at the dentist; it's a thing. I'm thinking sea-green glitter shoes.
Day 4: Tuesday. I got the crown put back in, but my jaw is off-balance now, which makes eating difficult.
Bruce is listening to The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, which apparently has a full cast. I think one of my goals is to read half or more of his books, so I placed a hold on the audio book too. My discman arrived, so I can listen to The Testaments at home and The Graveyard Book in the car (it's only some 7 CDs; Testaments is 14+). I've decided to keep one or two audio books going at all times. I prefer reading directly, but I want to get to as many books as I can, and this is a way to read when I normally can't (while driving, folding laundry, etc.). I need a belt pack for the discman to make it really practical, so I'll get one with Amazon points next month.
Josh built the gray slipper chair for the bathroom. It's pretty big, big enough for me to pull up my legs, but I measured it before I ordered it to make sure it could fit in the bathroom without blocking any doors. I sat in it today. Having it should improve the quality of my days, and I'm looking for anything that can do that. I moved a pink, gray, and gold Sparkle pillow from the guest room to the couch, where I can enjoy it more. I want to get maximum enjoyment out of wonderful objects. A new pillow cover arrived: a fairy with green hair, green eyes, and green eyeliner, very pretty. I'll put the pillow on the chair in the bathroom since the bathroom has a green theme.
Day 5: Wednesday. The magazine stories keep rolling in, and I'm behind. I read one in bed last night, but I got too tired after that. I'm having to devote a lot of reading time and energy to this right now. It's what I signed up for as a second reader, but I'm not used to its being this steady. I've gotten through two stories today.
I've been enjoying my fountain pens and inks. Today, I'm writing with the lovely Diamine Inkvent Blue Peppermint ink. It's a bright turquoise with silver shimmer and a little blue sheen. I'd love to have the whole Inkvent collection; I only have three bottles out of...many. I'd love to get the Inkvent calendar this Christmas...an early Christmas gift? Sailor Manyo Koke has come out with dual-shading inks which write in varying shades and are apparently safe for all pens. I'd love to try them. I'm running low on room for ink...I need to figure out a new way to store them. I keep some in an open purple glitter box on top of my desk, but I worry Oliver may knock them down.
Another Christmas present I'm considering is this Ruby Red Stella doll. She's so cute and sassy with her rock star shirt, her star sweater, and her glittery boots.
I feel bad that Oliver hasn't gone out much. He didn't go to the park or out for a McDonald's "cashbrown" date last weekend. He slept too late or asked too late. I hope we can do better for him this weekend, and I hope it won't be so terribly hot and rainy.
I'm not doing so well with my goals or habits for July. I haven't done enough yoga or caught up on my letters. I did enjoy listening to The Testaments in the car yesterday while driving to and from OT. I left the CDs in the car because I thought I might be driving a lot tomorrow, but Mom texted me to say that she's sick. So we won't get a weekend this month. Our next romantic weekend will be at the end of August when Josh has his half marathon in Asheville.
I did read two stories from Kaleidoscope to the boys last night. It will count as a short story collection when I finish it.
Once Oliver finishes school (if not before then), I'll probably need to go back to work full-time to help cover his programs and care. We also need to save for his future. Once we're out of debt, we can focus more on saving. In any case, worrying about it now won't help anything.
House of Hearts, Francesca Lia Block's new novel, just arrived! I can't wait to read it. She's my favorite writer, and I got to take two classes with her last year!
Josh has a partial class schedule for fall. He'll have a long Tuesday night class, which will be a bummer for me. But he may get to be home for most of the day until then. It looks like he may be able to drop Oliver off at school each day and take him (alone or with me) to OT. Those would be awesome. But his schedule may change a lot over the next month. Still, even during those three weeks Oliver isn't in school yet, Josh will be home with us more.
It's raining. I hear a little thunder, and I'm watching bubbles flow under the gate. I got almost eleven hours of sleep last night. Wow! My mood isn't great, though, which may relate to the weather. I got a few items on Prime Day: a firm body pillow and teal velvet case and a large canister of pancake mix. The pillow will replace our limp, floppy one we keep near our headboard. I added it to the furniture/household budget I set for the year. The pancake mix is for our extra food stash.
Day 6: Thursday. Today, I'm writing with Diamine shimmer Peacock Flare ink in my TWSBI stub nib fountain pen.
Wonderful surprise: my loveseat arrived! It wasn't supposed to come until next week! I popped up the teal ottoman. I'm thinking about getting another ottoman in gray to go under the coat rack in the foyer--a place to put on shoes. I've thought about what else I can do to make the study beautiful. Cleaning up the desks could help. Maybe we could put some flowers on my desk once I've cleared some space. Josh says he'll build my loveseat when he gets home, but I don't want to wait!
My reading achievements have been subpar lately. I haven't finished a single book this week.
But! I did manage to assemble my loveseat all by myself! My pink and white Merry Everything pillow cover with gold thread arrived, so I added it to my You Are Magical and She Leaves a Little Sparkle Wherever She Goes pillows.
I was in an awesome mood for much of the day. Then, Oliver had a massive accident in the bathroom, and I found that his bed was wet as well. He was hollering and jumping hard, and I felt hot and spent. I tried to listen to The Testaments while I put away laundry, but I missed parts because Oliver was vocalizing so loudly.
Day 7: Friday. I didn't write at all today. It was a hard day. I took Oliver to the bathroom every hour, but he still had an accident. I started taking him to the bathroom every thirty minutes. I called his doctor, and we got to go in at 3. Josh managed to get a urine sample, which showed no indication of infection or diabetes. We need to do blood work to rule out diabetes insipidus, so we'll sedate him on Monday and take him back. The doctor suspects constipation is causing decreased bladder control, so we're going to start using Miralax.
I did finish Some Things I Still Can't Tell You: Poems. The acknowledgements page was heartbreaking--he still loves his estranged wife. I was surprised to see that he had a poem in Pearl; my "Love Spell" was in Pearl many years ago.
I got a piece of wonderful news: my poem "Cadillac" will appear in Kakalak 2022! Kakalak is an annual anthology of Carolina poets. I'm thrilled. I wrote the poem as a graduate student, and it's very North Carolina.
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