Stillness & Attention: Week 30.

Day 1: Saturday. I didn't wake up until 7:30! When I came downstairs, Josh was working out. I settled on my loveseat and read magazines. When Oliver woke up, Josh kindly took over the morning routine, so I read some more. Then, I cleaned and organized the top of my desk. Once again, it will still look cluttered to most people--I should have taken a before photo. But we got a bouquet of pink and purple flowers at the grocery store. 

We got a few more hoarding items: another 2.5 gallons of water, some more beans, canned tomatoes, brown sugar, and a canister of oatmeal. And more Gatorade--the store did have some! We also got blueberries, strawberries, grapes, and oranges as we're trying to eat more fruit. I got everything to make pasta salad soon. 

Today, the heat index was 105. We spent two hours at the splash pad. I applied and reapplied a lot of sunscreen, and I put blue glitter drops in it just because I felt like sparkling. I read a little more of Joyful to Josh though I don't think he's very interested. Josh and I each got in the water (lukewarm) to cool off. It helped for a few minutes. I had the idea to offer ice cream to Oliver, and it worked! So we went to Cold Stone Creamery. Oliver ate vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips. I had a small vanilla shake; I'd forgotten how delicious those were. 

We took showers, and I put on my favorite purple-striped pajamas. I've been writing with Van Dieman's Underwater Parrot Fish ink today. The photo doesn't show the blue shimmer well. It's similar to Diamine's Inkvent Blue Peppermint; they're two of my favorites.

I did twenty-five minutes of yoga in our room, and I felt better for it. I placed another purchase request with the library for a somewhat obscure collection of short stories. I've made four or five requests that are not yet on order, but the library has eventually ordered my requests every time in the past.

Day 2: Sunday. Today, I'm writing with Van Dieman's Night Aurora Australis, a shimmering burgundy. 

Oliver woke up at 2 this morning. Josh got him to stay in our bed until 4. I got up at 6 so Josh could go on his run. I settled in on the loveseat to read magazines. Oliver looked exhausted. I asked if he wanted to sit down, and he snuggled down beside me and fell asleep. We stayed that way until Josh got back (except for a quick bathroom break as I did not want Oliver to wet my loveseat). That's my secretary desk with jewel drawer pulls, my dotted bin full of library books, my stack of books waiting to go to 2nd & Charles, and my bookcase with short story collections and my pens. The two pink boxes contain rubber stamps, and the Ziplocs hold empty pens I'm sending to Terracycle. It's a cluttered corner, but I love everything in it. The study is becoming my favorite room.

When Josh got home, he built the little pink bookcase. It is indeed quite cheap (the back piece broke, so we left it off), but it is a pretty color. It has room for more books than my cabinet did, so I don't have to be so selective! Silver lining. I'll add more favorites soon. 

I've finished two books today, Unless It Moves the Human Heart and Kaleidoscope. Human Heart was brief and quite good. Kaleidoscope was a series of connected tales. I read it aloud to the boys. I'm counting it as my second short story collection. It was rather sad, especially for a young readers book, but I liked it. I gave both books four stars. I think Bruce would like Kaleidoscope. Actually, I think he'd like both books. Maybe for Christmas, we could give each other books we think the other ought to read. I doubt we'll be done with our birthday books yet since we've only read one!

I'd like to own all of Ada Limon's books. I do own Sharks in the Rivers and The Carrying. I've been on the holds list for The Hurting Kind for more than a month. I wish I could just buy it. I have Bright Dead Things checked out, but I'd like to have it in my home library. I've requested that the library purchase Lucky Wreck and This Big Fake World--no library in the Cardinal system has them! I'm hoping the library will buy them since she is now the US Poet Laureate. I'm excited that the USPL was already a favorite of mine! Well, eventually, I'll own all of her books.

Josh will have a late day on Friday because of the end-of-program party and clean-up. I hope I'll still get to make a quick trip to the library before it closes. 

We decided to say no to going to the park or splash pad today. It's even hotter than it was yesterday. Oliver seems to accept it and doesn't want to play outside. I decided to cancel the next three OT appointments. Getting myself and Oliver ready and out the door for OT alone is just too hard when he tends to melt down. In a few weeks, Josh should be able to take him, or we can take him together. I feel enormous relief over this decision. If we end up losing our spot, I won't be terribly concerned as we've considered discontinuing OT anyway. But his therapist thinks it will work out.  Josh and I cuddled on the crash pad for a little while. Oliver doesn't seem to mind our doing that. I plan to read A Knot in the Grain and Other Stories to the boys next. It's by my dear Robin McKinley, and it's another short story collection! 

Day 3: Monday. I did almost everything I wanted to do last night. I finished Bright Dead Things (three books for the day and five books for the week! I'm actually on track!), did the dishes, did twenty-six minutes of yoga, listened to The Testaments while I did yoga, took a shower, and read a story for the magazine. 

Today, I woke up before 6. Oliver hadn't woken up at all yet (he slept through the night!), and Josh was still asleep. I thought about going to the study, but I decided to go back to sleep for about an hour. I came downstairs, and Oliver was in the bath. Josh was working out in the bathroom. Josh went up to get ready, and I finished Oliver's morning routine. After Josh left for work, I managed a bit of a nap in the study (oh yes) while Oliver snacked, and I read a few magazine articles, which made me feel good about the day. I'm nearly done with the spring issue of Bella Grace. 

Bruce and I probably won't see each other for a couple of weeks. This week, Josh was his party. Next week, Bruce's family is visiting. But we should see each other the next week. And for the week after that...I bought tickets for us to see the summer teen production of Into the Woods at Cape Fear Regional Theatre! Is that breaking NoBuy? I'm thinking not because it's a gift to Bruce, it's an experience, and it's supporting local arts. You decide. I'm allowing it. CFRT is literally down the street from me, and I've lived within fifteen minutes of it for almost eleven years...yet I've never attended a show there. I will finally remedy that. I'm quite excited. And I'm determined that next season, we will go there to see Matilda. We had tickets to Matilda at DPAC but couldn't go for some reason, so we'll make up for that. 

I started reading The Writer's Library, a book I've been excited to read for weeks. Yes, it's late, and I need to return it on Friday. Oddly enough, I've only heard of a few of the writers the book features. But already, I've added quite a few books to my TBR list and my NoBuy list. I'll be checking the library eventually. I'm interested in the writers doing the interviews and in the writers they discuss. The first writer, Jonathan Lethem, is into sci-fi, so that's quite interesting. I really need to read more Philip K. Dick. Okay, I spent 99 cents on a Kindle collection of PKD's short stories. I may have also spent $1.99 on a memoir, Making Toast, by Roger Rosenblatt, the author of Unless It Moves the Human Heart. Yes, I could have checked the library. These were little cheats. They were cheap and quick impulse buys. But! I figure I can make up for it by using Amazon points for something we need instead of something I want. I'll do that. But one of the major reasons I'm doing NoBuy2022 is to learn how to wait. I need to remember that. That's part of stillness and attention. 

Speaking of waiting, I'm trying not to place any new holds for a while. I have so many books to read. I have books on my NoBuy list, books on my GoodReads to-read list, and books in my phone's photos. They're not going to disappear. One new hold is ready: a collection of Catherynne M. Valente's poetry. That's sure to be fascinating, and I always want to be in the middle of a book of poems. I'll check out those Alan Michael Parker books I don't have on Friday. I made an exciting discovery the other night: I own a Carmen Jimenez Smith book I haven't read! She's one of my favorite poets. I started the book, The City She Was, today. 

I did nap in my chair earlier. I've been very sleepy and hungry today, and I've had a headache. Edit: I realized later that I've cut out caffeine, which explains how I've been feeling. 

I haven't read enough today. I did catch up on some blogging; I've been terribly behind. I was relieved to realize that I'm not as behind on reading for the magazine as I thought I was. Suddenly, my arms are peeling from that sunburn a week ago. 

I never changed my calendar to July. I want to see the new Kinuko Y. Craft art. I did do the dishes, wash my hair, write in my journal, and clean out a container on Josh's desk today. I'm still trying to beautify the study. I've put up a couple more pretty things: two antique postcards and a sheet of blue cardstock on which Bruce and I wrote water-related words in blue and green marker at work back when I was obsessed with water (lithium will do that to you). 

Day 4: Tuesday. No OT today! Thank goodness. I just finished the spring issue of Bella Grace. I also read an article from Oh Reader and found another book I want to read. I can't wait to subscribe to the magazine. I want to subscribe to one other magazine next year...In Her Studio? Poets & Writers? Where Women Create? I'll look at some issues when I next go to Barnes. 

Oliver woke up around 2. Around 3, he was in our bed, taking up my space. So I moved to his bed. At some point, Josh got in Oliver's bed with me. Oliver slept past 9, so I had a nice morning. He had quite an accident, but his Good Nite saved our bed. After I bathed Oliver, I did a little yoga in the bathroom. I'll do a full session later.

The year is passing rather quickly. I'm relieved that the summer is moving quickly. I'm a little nervous about the new school year...will Oliver have the same teacher? Will he adjust easily? He asked for cookies today, and I took the opportunity to do a summer worksheet with him and then give him the cookies. If I do that every weekday, we should finish the packet in time. Yes, he eats cookies every day if we have them. I'm not sure what I'll use when we're out of cookies. He is crazy about nabs right now. He was barely aware of the worksheet, and it was all hand-over-hand, but at least he wasn't resistant. I did get him to say some of the alphabet. I keep telling myself that most of the people at school will already know and like Oliver, and he'll already know the place and most of the people. No one will expect him to be perfect. He's continued to do better with getting dressed: getting his feet into the two legs of his underwear and shorts, getting his shirt on front-side-front. I still have to hold everything out for him and orient it, but I didn't think he'd get this far. 

My friend at the organization for which I'm on the board of directors called me. We talked about some ideas for an upcoming event. I really like her. I thought more about the ideas later, and I really want to connect the organization (which serves adults with disabilities) with Oliver's school. They could really serve each other. So I texted my friend and sent a couple of E-mails to the school admin. I hope that works out. Josh had an orientation shift during the fun run event in a couple of weeks, but he was able to switch shifts, so we'll all be able to go for most of it. 

I've done very little reading today, alas. But I did catch up on blogging. I need to read for the magazine before I read anything else, and I need to do yoga. I can feel the tension creeping through me when I don't do yoga. I'm already hoping for a quiet morning tomorrow. I hope to do more reading and more organizing tomorrow too. 

Day 5: Wednesday. I didn't do everything I wanted to do today. I didn't put away laundry, do much reading, or work on organizing (the surface of) Josh's desk. I did, however, make pasta salad, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, run a load of laundry, read a few magazine articles, read a bit from my library books, write enough, and do yoga. Most notably, I went through all my stickers and my craft drawers in the closet, cleaned out and reorganized my jam-packed-for-years craft trunk, threw away a ton of damaged or old supplies, found art to put up, and put together a giant donation box of craft supplies that someone picked up in the evening. I also went through all my stationery and put together a stationery donation box I plan to post tomorrow. 

I put up a piece of Josephine Wall art and a piece of Susan Branch art (from calendars--I save all my calendars but went through them today and only kept the pages I want) in the study--still trying to beautify the room as much as I can. I also pinned up a self-portrait I painted when I was sixteen; I found it in that trunk! The watercolor shows no talent, but I still like it. 

Oliver slept until 10, so I had a very nice morning to myself. I found some old ballons in my trunk. I blew up a tiny one, Josh blew up a bigger one during his lunch break, and Oliver and I played with them. Oliver seemed content to hang around or lounge in the bath while I worked on my projects. He usually seems happily if I'm in the middle of something active rather than sitting still reading or scribbling.

I've had a good couple of days, productive and happy.

Day 6: Thursday. Oliver did not sleep in today. We were all up at 5. Josh went for his run while Oliver and I did the morning routine. I was freezing, so I left the door to the bathroom open and curled under two blankets on the guest bed until Oliver said, "You [I] wanna get out [of the bath]." Then, while he snacked and played with his sheet protector (I just gave him the last fresh one we have--oh dear...I ordered more, but they won't be here until late on Friday), I wrote my to-do list (ambitious), scribbled, and read magazines. I finished the summer issue of Oh Reader! I watered my flowers, which are still doing pretty well. 

I refilled my pen with Van Dieman's Underwater Sea Shell ink, which is a lovely shimmering peachy orange, but some of the turquoise Parrot Fish ink remained. The result was a beautiful sea green with lavender shimmer. Unfortunately, though, the pen clogged and stopped writing. I need to do better about cleaning my pens. I ordered a bottle of Monteverde pen flush, which I consider a necessity as three or four of my pens have stopped writing. Again, yes, I need to do better about cleaning my pens between fills. The color was quite pretty though.

Ah, yes--before I did that, I noticed that, in sunlight, Aurora Australis has a bit of green sheen! I think I caught it in this photo. Those darker bits are green. Gorgeous. This swatch shows it better. 

The same girl who got the craft supplies is picking up the stationery. She'll know my house well. 

The OT order got approved, so that bill is covered! The school supply bill did not get covered, so I spent time reordering all of that. It turned out to be about $150 as I predicted, not counting housekeeping items like bleach wipes that we'll get later. I got Oliver Twistable crayons in addition to regular ones--I thought the plastic barrels might be less of a sensory annoyance. I also looked at lamps. We're going to need a third lamp in the living room when it starts to get dark earlier. I found one that takes five bulbs and has no other glass. We can anchor it behind the teal table, where Oliver will be less likely to tip it. 

I spent more time on The Writer's Library, which I'll try to finish tomorrow. 

Day 7: Friday. I'm really feeling pretty grand. I woke up a little before 5. Josh got paid today! He got paid more than I expected, so I paid down some debt, and we have some money in savings and some money in checking! We haven't been there for a while. I wrote the check to CFNC, and Josh signed it. I put it in the mail; we've paid off his undergraduate student loans. 

I did do yoga and listen to The Testaments last night. Now, it's 11:09, and I'm not even halfway through The Writer's Library. So I won't finish and return it today. I skipped reading magazines this morning. The book is quite good, and I'm constantly looking up titles that I want to read. 

I started another load of dark laundry. I wrote a poem called "Dark Laundry" not long ago. I loaded and ran the dishwasher.

I wrote down quotations from Unless It Moves the Human Heart, so it's ready to go back to the library. I put up three of my old (teenage years) collages in the study. I'm amazed at how well they've held up! I taped a few spots. Josh has a lot of pennants and hats up on that side, so I'm answering that with my own colorful busyness. I want the study to be a room for creative thought and creative absorption. I'd like to make more collages. 

I've never thoughts about space this much before, not since I was unpacking the house. Oh, I hope we don't have to move for years and years. I've cleaned out my purses and bags. I took out several shopping bags to put in the car. I took out a purse and a few tote bags and posted them on the BuyNothing group. That same girl came back again! Just one bag remains. 

Oh dear. Oliver wet our bed, and he got the duvet. Much laundry is ahead of me.