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Tuesday, June 28, 2022

On Letting Go.

I've had experiences lately of people's hurting me and then doubling down on it when I express hurt. I've decided that in those cases, I just have to let those people go, no matter how major or minor their role in my life may be. 

It's mostly an adjustment for me in how I relate and how I perceive safety. I reach a point at which I can no longer feel safe with a person. Sometimes that takes years. Sometimes it happens quickly or suddenly. I don't have full control over it. 

I try to let the person know what's happening so they have a chance to help me stop it. Sometimes they really do, and sometimes they dig in. Sometimes, it's just the last thing, the straw, and I can't do anything to fix it. 

In a couple of cases, I've completely removed the person from my life. With others, I keep my distance to varying degrees. 

My primary goals are to stay sane and take care of my family (in that order--because I can't take care of anyone if I'm not sane), so I do what I need to do. I've had to make some hard decisions with this, but so far, I don't regret any of them.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry you have had this happening lately. In my experience, I have not regretted these carefully made decisions either, but sometimes they have left a void -- sort of place that I occasionally revisit to see if I still agree with my decision. I'm glad you are being strong for yourself.

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