Stillness & Attention: Week 31.

Days 1-3: Saturday-Monday. The last four days have been a blur. Fifteen-plus people have come to my house to pick up things. I only had contact with two: I waved through the window to the girl who picked up my pink sequin high-heeled boots (too ankle-breaking for me, as I mentioned in my post), and Josh and I carried a ten-year-old telescope out to a woman who is wild about space. A lot of people wanted that telescope. 

I completely cleaned out Oliver's room, giving away all his size 7 school uniforms and tiny hangers (which we, for some reason, still had), throwing away all his wrecked books (keeping only the taped-together Runaway Bunny and ordering new copies of only We Belong Together and It's Time for Bed), giving away his spaceship tent that he never used, giving away his Oliver sleeping bag (to another little Oliver!), giving away his complete puzzles and throwing away the incomplete ones, giving away his Megabloks, and throwing away and giving away some of his toys. 

Josh found another bin of purses, so I went through those. I threw away a couple of very worn ones, kept a couple (hanging up a Tinkerbell messenger bag to be my park bag--it's in view of my loveseat. And my other park bag, which was for years my work bag, ended up in the trash because something sticky melted in it), and put several out with that other tote. One girl took most of the bags. The few she didn't take, I decided to throw away. I ended up with another box of skin- and body-care items I wasn't going to use; that got picked up. I gave away a cooler backpack as we have two. I gave away a lone baby outfit I found in an old tote (and threw away two stained baby blankets I found there). 

I slowly reorganized the big downstairs closet, giving us a lot more floor space and making the shelves more accessible. I gave away some back stock household items to someone who needed them more than we did. I gave away two boxes of flushable wipes that we used during potty training--everybody wanted those!--and an opened bag of Goodnites that Oliver outgrew. I gave away miscellaneous items I found in pretty boxes in my room. I gave away pajamas and a swimsuit cover-up I'd only worn once. I went through my jewelry and gave away some of that including a box of fun rings, which a couple of little girls will be using for dress-up. I gave away still-wrapped but dusty bath bombs. I went through a large stack of magazines that I didn't care to read thoroughly (I'd subscribed to them back when Oliver was shredding magazines to self-soothe...thank goodness that's over), looked at the ones I wanted to look at, found other magazines I didn't want to keep, and donated them all to an artist who will use them for her art. 

Since my little white end tables have arrived, I gave away the little wine stand I'd been using as a side table for my loveseat. We don't drink wine, and Nick bought the stand almost twenty years ago, so I was ready to say goodbye. I also got Josh's help in getting rid of some sadly expired beverages, freeing up cabinet space. What else did I do? I asked Josh to put a couple of things in the attic, including the ugly Rubbermaid tub that had been in the study. I cleaned out a pretty box and started keeping in it pieces that I will use in my next collage. 

When we were at Food Lion on Saturday, I saw a beautiful purple energy drink with planets on it: Alani Nu Energy Cosmic Stardust. It was so pretty that I bought a can to try. I was wired for the whole day! I didn't go to bed until 10:30, and I did a lot of cleaning out and organizing. The drink tasted like candy. I ordered more and subscribed to it. Later, I ordered three other flavors to try. Josh says he'll drink them if I don't like them; he drinks Bang. On Sunday, he shared his Bang Candy Apple energy drink with me. 

We spent two and a half hours at the splash pad on Saturday, so I read a bit of Joyful to Josh. One of the college's VPs was there with his granddaughter, so Josh spoke to him. I'd put pink glitter drops in my sunscreen. I noticed that my shorts were a little too big. Oliver actually drank some Gatorade, and he was eventually willing to come home for ice cream. I began reading A Knot in the Grain to the boys but didn't get far. It's another short story collection!

On Monday night, Josh brought home On the Border as it was a fundraising night for Justice for Our Neighbors. We got Bolder Border Bowls--shrimp for me and portabello for him. Mine was excellent. I hadn't realized that I like black beans. My sense of taste is getting more adventurous. 

Josh had a tiring first day back as faculty, having just finished the Jump Start program. But he'll be coming home an hour earlier, and I'm thankful for that. 

Day 4: Tuesday. I'm so behind on everything except organizing and getting rid of stuff. I did post last week's blog. And I finished my last journal. Now, I'm writing in one I got with birthday money. It's a spiral, which will be so easy to write in. I did read some of Enchanted Living yesterday morning, and I did yoga last night.

I've gotten rid of so much superfluous stuff. I have more work to do. I need to make my goals for the month. But first, how did I do on my July goals? Good question. Not great. I did enjoy magazines. I started a ritual of reading magazines in the study most mornings, and I finished two magazines. I meant to do yoga most days, but I did not succeed. I actually practiced yoga fourteen days. I did do longer sessions though. Another goal was to read eleven books. I ended up reading thirteen. The other part of that goal was to read five collections of short stories, but I only read two. And my goal of catching up with letters? I mailed three of the five letters I meant to send. So I didn't meet that goal, but I made some progress. 

My August goals are a little more specific. Catch up on (meaning mail those three) letters and keep up with letters (meaning promptly reply to any I receive this month). Do twenty sessions of yoga this month, and I plan to listen to The Testaments or another audio book while I practice. I've found that doing yoga in my room before bed is best. Read twelve books, which I'm sure I can do if, of course, I focus (stillness and attention!). Five collections of short stories--it ought to be more. Enjoy magazines--continue my ritual. Organize jewelry: another specific goal in my current vein. Journal five pages twenty-eight days: specific. And spend more quality time with Josh; I'm not sure what this will look like as Oliver will not be in school yet, but Josh will be home more. I do plan to read to the boys more.

I am giving away some of my larger pants today, 5 pair. I'll hang onto the next smaller size for now. I ran a load of laundry and ran the dishwasher. I put away two loads of laundry yesterday. Oliver peed our bed, so we have to change our sheets tonight. Oliver and I have been doing one worksheet a day from his summer packet, even over the weekend. The stack is slowly shrinking. I hadn't realized the sheets were front and back!

I think I'm going to try to make something similar to the Border Bowl at home. I texted Mom, and she gave me advice on spices. I've never cooked something this complex. I'm tempted to go to the store early as we're going to run out of milk. Josh says we can all go to the store when he gets home from work tomorrow. 

I cleaned up the study...to the detriment of the guest room. But I want the study to look nice when I come down in the morning, hopefully well before Oliver wakes up. When Josh got home today, I went up in the attic. I'd never been up there. Someone in the BuyNothing group had asked for plastic bins. I knew we had some, probably full of things we didn't need. The attic was not nearly as junky as I expected, and it was pretty big. It was very hot though. I found two bins already empty. I emptied two more pretty easily. I brought down a few things: Josh's old red winter coat, which I hung in the coat closet (he may need it, or Oliver will wear it soon); some junk like a shoe organizer with no hooks; and my old snow boots, which I posted on the BN group. Katie is picking up the bins tomorrow. I posted my cute navy Disney store jacket and my gray cape as well--one woman is picking them up along with the snow boots. And someone is picking up some yellow sunglasses and pretty scarves I won't wear. 

What else do I want to give away? I really didn't find much in the attic. 

Oliver's replacement board books arrived today. So did my Alani Watermelon Wave Energy drinks. I'll try that flavor tomorrow morning. 

Josh put together my little white tables. I put magazines on one and boxes of pens (and a mermaid box) on the other. They're very cute. Very cheap (about $27--still in that dresser budget!), but surprisingly sturdy. They just popped together. I don't need them to hold much. 

Oliver's psychiatrist is, for some reason, unavailable indefinitely. So we will see a new doctor next week. I hope she will give us her cell phone number as Dr. F did! We are going to ask for crisis meds such as Ativan, just three or four pills a month, for when Oliver starts having destructive meltdowns. I'm really hoping she'll agree. Meds in Ativan's (and Xanax's) family work in about twenty minutes, which could make a massive difference for him and for us during what would normally be a one- to two-hour meltdown. So if you pray or meditate or vibe, keep that request in mind for us. 

I haven't kept up with my five good things each day. I need to pick that up again. 

I decided to give up on Anne Frank's diary and The Awakened Brain for now. I'll check them out again later. I'm going to focus on finishing The Writer's Library. I'm a bit appalled that I did not finish any books last week, and this is not looking like a good reading week so far. But I have been very focused on culling and redistributing the objects in my life. I'm in the mood and have the energy for that, so I'm going with it.

Day 5: Wednesday. I didn't do yoga last night. Instead, I worked on my planner. I spread out on the bedroom floor. I didn't get a lot done, but I set up moods, habits, week 1, week 1 stickers, August events, and one complete Dream board. I was awake until after 10, when I realized I hadn't taken my night meds, which keeps me up. Josh put new sheets on the bed while I was in the shower last night. Bless him. 

I scheduled a Stitch Fix last night. I need some dress pants in a smaller size, and they're hard to find in petite. We'll see if SF comes through. I've decided that, with NoBuy2022 and my reaching fitness goals, I can buy enough items for a capsule wardrobe if I have significant body changes. My current pants are too big. I'll read another book on capsule wardrobes soon; I have one on my rainbow nonfiction shelf. I'm thinking that, at any size, wherever I settle, I'll not need more than two pairs of jeans, two pairs of dress pants, one pair of other pants or leggings, one pair of capris, and one or two pairs of shorts. My tops will still work for a long time. Most of my dresses will also work for a long time. I kept some of my favorite clothes from when I was much littler, so I'll still have those to start from if I get back there. I plan to keep some basics from several sizes in the extra closet in Oliver's room. I'll whittle my current clothes down to the small closet in my room. 

I got up around 5 today. The Watermelon Wave drink was good. I napped a little on the loveseat. Oliver had been lying sideways across our bed. Josh got up and sat with me for a little while and then worked out. I don't know what I did; I didn't read magazines. But Oliver quickly got up, and I did the morning routine. I started going through our many poster tubes while he was in the bath. I threw a couple of tattered posters away and set aside a couple to post. I'm looking for one in particular, a Flavia Amore Dream poster from the early aughts. I want to put it on a door. I found a lot of art in the attic. We just don't have room for all of it. Some I may give away, but some I'd like to keep. 

I moved magazines from the teal ottoman to the side table, so now, I have plenty of room for Oliver's lunchbox chips. I just have to make sure Oliver doesn't realize they're there. I'm so glad I have my big ink drawer now. I need to flush my fountain pens this week. My bottle of pen flush may not last long.

I napped for about an hour in my chair, which surprised me. Oliver played outside and didn't seem to mind. I feel better now. 

I need to revisit my LowBuy plans for next year. I've drafted some of them, and I plan to share them. 

I ordered two try-before-you-buy pairs of pants: black dress pants and lighter Democracy (my favorite brand) jeans, petite in my current size. My Stitch Fix preview showed no dress pants, so I'm not impressed. I'll try these on, and they'll come more quickly anyway. It would be nice to have two pairs of jeans that fit well since I wear jeans almost every day I get dressed. As I reach fitness goals, I'll narrow down my larger clothes to just my favorite pieces to keep. I need those size tags from store racks! I'd like some new black Mary Janes, but I can just wear my old ones or wear my shiny black T-straps if I can't wear my sparkly sequin heels. I'll ease the board into my style! My board meeting is two weeks from tomorrow. Today, I spoke to my therapist (lots of updates) and told her all about the organization. She's going to spread the word to her staff. 

I have a lot of work to do on my living room nest. 

We went to Food Lion, but it was locked up with an alarm sounding and all the lights off! So we went to Walmart to pick up an order of ten twelve packs of 12-ounce grape Gatorade Zero bottles (all Oliver drinks except the occasional mug of milk), which an employee stacked in our trunk. If I'm "prepper" about anything, it's Gatorade. He seems to prefer the smaller bottles, and they're nice for his lunch box. Gatorade has been hard to find since the pandemic started, but we have a good bit now! Even though it was getting late, we ran to another Food Lion. We spent over $60 on ingredients for rice and beans, a couple of things for Josh, and strawberry Popsicles (all fruit, no added sugar!) for Oliver! Gracious. We got home, and I quickly made the dish. It was delicious! We have leftovers, and I'll definitely make it again. 

Josh has moved all his workout gear except our weights into the ottoman in the foyer, so my view in the study continues to improve. I didn't get to spend enough time there today. Hopefully, I'll get more time tomorrow. 

Day 6: Thursday. This week is passing quickly. Oddly, Oliver went back to bed this morning and slept until about 11. I read a bit of Enchanted Living and then focused on The Writer's Library. I later worked on my Dream boards in my planner but didn't finish making them. I did the dishes, ran a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, and put away two baskets of laundry.

I posted a set of pens and pencils and two working book lights. Victoria picked those up. Someone left me a book: A Monster Calls, and it looks rather fascinating. My roses have bloomed fully. I'll take out the overblown ones. If only a few are left, I'll put them in the kitchen. I love buying flowers. I love morning sun in the study.

I completely cleaned the surface of Josh's desk today. No junk, no overflowing teal baskets or white art nouveau planter. He was impressed. And my view from my loveseat is nicer. I just have to file some papers. I threw away and recycled a lot. 

Josh's grandfather made this desk from the wood paneling of an old bank. It's huge and heavy. We've had it with us at our last few homes. 

I brought in the Gatorade with Josh's help. Another box of Gatorade mix just arrived, so we'll keep that in case of shortages. I guess we can pick up the little bottles from Walmart periodically. Oliver broke a glazed blue and white snowflake bowl, so I ordered some bright pink plastic (m- and dw-safe) bowls. Safe for him and cheerful for me. The lunch chip bags came, and I got them into the teal ottoman without Oliver's noticing. Soon, I'll be making his lunches every afternoon again. I hope to spend a lot of time in the study on school days, depending on what Josh feels like doing. Now, he can work at his desk if he needs to, and I'll have a place to sit. And the desk is clean! 

I cleared the fridge of a lot of old kid magnets (that Oliver cares nothing for) and school art. It looks much cleaner, and I have room for new school art now. I need to make a couple of additions to Oliver's introduction sheet. 

After I did the cleaning and brought in the Gatorade, I took a long shower. I used a lot of conditioner and body scrub and shaved my legs. Then, I used leave-in conditioner and brushed out my wild hair perfectly. I think my hair really wants to be curly.

Day 7: Friday. I slept until almost 7:30! That's late for me! I have a lot of reading and writing to catch up on. Today, I'm writing with a Pentel Hybrid Dual Metallic Moon Silver pen, silver with green glitter.

Oliver is still asleep for now, and I hope he sleeps on for a while. I've had my Watermelon Wave drink. Someone has already picked something up: a Melissa & Doug house sound puzzle that Oliver never liked even though he likes sound puzzles at OT. The same woman picked up the cooler backpack before, and she says she uses it every day. That's so great. 

Yesterday, I read a lot of The Writer's Library, but I still have ninety pages to go. I can finish it before I go to the library today. I have several holds ready. I don't think I'll finish reading Arias today. Bless Oliver for sleeping in. I love this light and this quiet. I did do yoga last night, and I finished disc 8 (of 11) of The Testaments. I may actually finish it before it's due! I didn't write my pages in my journal yesterday. I meant to stay up for that and reading, but I didn't. I'm behind on reading for the magazine. Luckily, the stories aren't especially long. I've missed two days of yoga and one day of journaling already this month, so I've got to be diligent. 

I can't believe someone reads my weekly posts and thinks well of me. I guess I mostly write them for myself. 

I ordered a few organizing products. I'm getting a little loose on NoBuy, partly because it's for organization and partly because I've given so much away. 

Oliver peed our bed really bad. I threw away the insurance trash bags. He even got my pillow. The washer is going. I just refilled my BCP. I need to make a GYN appointment for more refills. I hope I can still get refills; the BCP really helps with my endometriosis. Thank God Josh already got a vasectomy. 

I went through another size of pants. I kept a pair of shorts, two pairs of jeans, and a pair of black jeans. I gave away a pair of jeans and a pair of long shorts. I'll hang up the others in the extra closet. 

I have a teetering stack of books for 2nd and Charles in the study. I need to get that out of there, the next step in improving my view. 

Some time, I'll start reading the Bible again. Time has almost caught up to me (I'm somewhere in August), so I'll have to read every day. Maybe I should do that in the study...so it's rather depressing material for that happy place. Maybe once I reach the New Testament, I'll do that. 

I have the second load of laundry (also sheets, as he also peed his own bed) in the dryer. I still need to do the dishes and put away laundry. I finished The Writer's Library! Book #1 for August. A bit late: it's already August 5. Oh well. It was a highly worthwhile book even though I took two weeks to read it. I'll try to read Arias and something else this weekend. Maybe Pallbearer's Club? I read Paul Tremblay's other novels quickly. 

So it turned out that I had a lot of Amazon points this month! I decided to get a few items I've been wanting. My computer (a Chromebook) doesn't have a DVD drive and doesn't support an external drive, so I don't really have a way to enjoy my excellent collection of favorite DVDs. I'd like to watch movies more. So I ordered a purple portable DVD player and a case and a belt pack for my CD player (so I can more easily listen to books while I do chores)--for free! I'll be able to watch movies in Asheville! I'm very excited. And the player is purple: functional and pretty, always the best. Now, where can I keep it safe from Oliver's unpredictable rages?

I put away the subscription household items that arrived. We have back stock now. I subscribed to toothpaste for Josh and Oliver; having only one of something for them makes me nervous. I also ordered more prenatal vitamins for myself--no, I'm definitely not pregnant; I just feel better when I take them. 

My jeans came! They're a lighter denim than my other pair. They'll probably fit for a long time. 

I'm currently stuck with Bert and Ernie clips. But soon, I'll go to the library. I'll get in the car and leave the house for twenty minutes. I will go to a book place. I will walk out with books. It'll be great.