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Sunday, July 17, 2011

Maternity Fairy Clothes: Mini Sequin Mama.


Baby shower garb: how can one now-oddly-shaped girl pull off cute, semi-dressy, stylish, and, well, at least a little hot? Cue those leggings my mom got me for my birthday and the awesome tank top I sale-stalked for months before finally ordering.

(Josh requested sass.)

This little sculpture is in Greg and Susan's front yard, and it's utterly precious. It reminds me of Josh reading illustrated fairy tales to me as I incessantly point out details. Oooh, look at her dress! There is the golden branch!


I don't call my sort of "count your blessings" posts "Mini Sequins" because of this tank top, but the parallel is interesting.


I bought this headband when I first got my pixie cut. The earrings are probably my favorite pair right now. I wear them when I feel like, "So? I feel great, and I'm wearing these huge purple earrings with rhinestones AND beads whether all ya'll like it or not" (but really, how could anyone not like it?).


Speaking of sequins, how about $13, absurdly comfortable flats?


I think I've expressed my gratitude for this ring before. It is the perfect giant ring for me. It's normally a little big, but thanks to a bit of swelling (which is visible here), it fits just right. I designed this tattoo for Josh--it's one of my blown glass pens with Amy Brown fairy wings. Luna is his sort of magic name for me.


Maternity Tank Top: Motherhood
Maternity Leggings: Pea in the Pod
Flats: Shoe Show
Headband: The Icing
Earrings: Ann Taylor Loft
Ring: Target

To the Coast.


When I got home from work on Thursday, Josh had already gathered up toothbrushes, my body pillow, my blanket (I still sleep with my pink baby blanket), and our camera. I changed into jeans and that cute little bell-shaped lavender shirt with flutter sleeves (not maternity, but it lays just right and will probably be totally cute in a different way post pregnancy). We got in the car and drove, stopping along the way at Taco Bell for the restroom, a soft taco (me), and a mini cheese quesadilla (Josh).

When we arrived, Susan was in Wilmington, shopping for shower supplies with my sister-in-law, Sarah. Greg was on a conference call with people in California who were just starting their afternoon. Bella, the queenly little shih tzu, was lounging on the couch in the home office.


We settled in the study with computers and books. Josh is reading a lovely blue, 1920s copy of Revolt of the Angels by Anatole France. It sounds both silly and fascinating, so I may have to read it too. We went to Chili's (the happening spot in Shallotte) for dinner. Josh had the most unhealthy vegetarian appetizer options available and enjoyed them thoroughly. I had fajitas. Oh...the shrimp and guacamole! We shared that heavenly Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie, which really has everything one needs to be briefly happy (a sort of blondie, chocolate, caramel, vanilla ice cream, and walnuts). At about nine, poor Greg was still on the phone, and I was crazy tired. Josh tucked me in. Susan arrived shortly thereafter and came in to say goodnight. I was snuggled up to the purple body pillow and had the hot pink heart-shaped pillow under my head. I'm sure my eyes were crimson with weariness and mild puppy allergies.

The next day, we woke up around nine, and Susan was already hard at work. The kitchen was full of grocery bags. I don't think I've ever seen so many tomatoes in so many sizes. She needed a gallon jug to make tea, so she poured the milk into an antique glass bottle with a wooden cork. We wondered if it would reappear full if we put it on the back porch for the milkman. The cooking went on all day. We smelled seafood seasoning and intoxicating garlic. I later spied blue and white frosted cupcakes behind some pitchers. Because Susan is a vegetarian, Josh got to eat quite well for lunch: a wrap with banana peppers, tomato, cheese, lettuce, ranch dressing, and Chalula and a piece of Quorn chicken. I had a sandwich with microwave-zapped ham, cheese, and Holy Guacamole (I really can't get enough of the stuff these days).


Even though sleeping in general and during the day in particular has been difficult for me, I was excited when Josh said we ought to take a nap. We settled into the guestroom, and I read another chapter of The Secret Garden. We're almost done with it. Later, Josh said, "You're my secret garden."
"What do you mean?"
"I was just a wretched boy before, but you made me well and a father."
That may be the best compliment anyone has ever given me. And I did manage to take a lovely nap. Honestly, I was a rather wretched and contrary girl when we met. Now, I'm less so, and certainly, like Mary, I'm "getting fatter." I think that, in an odd character twist, our son will be like the charmer, Dickon, with cats and little bunnies around him instead of foxes and robins.

(I would like an outfit based on these purple flowers)

We spent the evening on the patio with Greg, who was content with his shih tzu and his Corona. Josh took photos. I think he may have developed a photographer's heart after three years as a high school yearbook adviser. We watched the furry bumblebees and spotted the tiniest, brightest blue baby hummingbird. The bird wasn't as long as my pinkie, and he flew right around our heads and snuggled up in the trumpet-like flowers. I thought about my own thrumming little hummingbird.


The next morning, I awoke excited about being twenty-nine weeks pregnant and being hours away from our baby shower. Greg was outside hosing off the patio, watering plants, and cleaning up the yard with Bella. We went upstairs to go through some boxes of Josh's old stuff. We found some great kid's books, and Josh showed me some of his old toys. He also found stacks of hard copies of his poems, and he was pretty annoyed to discover a handmade Valentine from a high school girlfriend. He let me look at it before he tore it up and threw it away. Sometimes, I wonder what knowing him when we were younger would have been like, but he always says that (despite circumstances) we met at the right time.

We got ready and headed out for a couple of hours, so Susan and Sarah could work on food and decorations. We had sandwiches at Subway (I knew I wouldn't last until the festivities began) and went to B&BW and Belk. B&BW now has mint chocolate candles and hand soap! The chocolate smells like winter, and the mint smells like summer, so I guess it's perfect all the time. We gathered up the hand soap, talking about how it may be a scent Oliver will always remember, whether from our hands or from learning to wash his own. B&BW also has other yummy scents like salty caramel, s'mores, and oatmeal raisin cookie. Like us, the store is excited for autumn. At Belk, Josh found sexy black jeans marked down from $60 to $13. I found two lovely cardigans (I know; it's a sickness) and a comfortable brown dress (from $68 down to $23!). I already had black and gray dresses, so this completes my neutrals. The dress has sleeves, which means I can wear it on its own to work without thinking about coordinating cardigans or jackets. It also has an empire waist, so it fits me now!

I put on red lipstick as Josh texted his mom to see if we could come back to the house. She said yes.

Maternity Fairy Clothes: Simple Peacock.

This dress isn't the most flattering shape, but it's incredibly comfortable, and I love the color. I'll probably be wearing it quite a bit this summer. It's also a dress I can accessorize to make it work appropriate. This is on my in-laws' patio amid windchimes, birdfeeders, flower pots, and bumblebees.


Ah, toe swelling. Anyway, I'm not a big flip fan unless beading, embroidery, or rhinestones are involved. These are simple with a little sparkle. Josh was a good sport for giving me this lovely pedicure. He did a better job than I would have done!


The fluorescence of my pale skin drowned out the shamrocks on these barrettes. My brother found them for me when he was just a little. The earrings are from an earring wonderland, whose name I can't remember, in Charleston.


I've wanted a green dress for a long time. I didn't anticipate the first one being maternity! Now, all I need is a red bicycle and a picnic basket full of cherries (or some chocolate chips, which were my afternoon sweet snack).

I love this Tink necklace Josh bought for me when I was feeling low.

...and this excellent bumblebee photo he snapped as we anticipated the first party for our little bee.

Maternity Dress: Target
Flips: Old Navy
Barrettes: Gift from James, Alki Beach in Seattle
Earrings: Boutique in Charleston
Necklace: Gift from Josh, Stand at Carolina Place Mall
Nail Polish: Sephora by OPI Worth My Weight over Mermaid to Order

Saturday, July 16, 2011

My Nurse and Beauty Assistant.


A spouse plays many roles. A good one does, anyway, and I've got a good one.

On Tuesday, I spent the day grading tests because I knew I wouldn't do it while we were out of town for the shower. I had thought about going to work, but the two hours of driving and the gas, along with my not wanting to leave Josh, made me reluctant. Josh set up an office for me by clearing off space at the huge desk and setting up his computer (more powerful and with a bigger screen than my super cute red netbook) with a keyboard and mouse. When I finished, we watched Black Swan (finally). Natalie Portman was certainly impressive. I always like her. I think it's a movie I'd need to watch more than once, but I don't feel up for it now. I understand and appreciate the ambiguity of the ending and of the whole movie, but I really wanted more explanation.

After that, I was lying on the couch and started feeling very strange. I was a little sick to my stomach and a little short of breath. My stomach felt incredibly hard like a concrete surface. I'd felt this a couple of other times but not as intensely or for as long. I asked Josh to lay out my yoga mat, and because my body seemed to want to, I started rocking and stretching, mostly on my hands and knees. Poor Josh must have wondered what the heck I was doing, and I really didn't know. Then, he got into the shower with me, and I just stood under the hot water for a long time. You know how sometimes you get a really bad cold, and the only way to feel better for a bit is to get in the shower? That's sort of how I felt. Josh helped me out, dried me off, and got me in bed. I didn't know what my problem had been.


The next day, I was exhausted but felt okay otherwise. After a long morning nap, I went to take a shower. I felt fine until the end when I got confused about what I'd already done (did I wash my face? Did I use conditioner?). I shut off the water and suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't even figure out how to sit down in the tub, so I bent down and grabbed the edge of the windowsill while still standing in the shower. I called for Josh. He was probably saying, "What?" But in a couple of silent minutes, he came in. He must have seen my hand gripping the sill. He put my hands on his arm, which he held out like a falconer, and said in a very soothing voice, "Okay. Hold onto my arm. There. Now, I'm going to get you dry enough to get back in bed." His ability to be calm and take care of me when I'm not well has always amazed me (we'd only been dating for two months when he first took me to the hospital).

I had probably gotten a little too hot, hungry, and thirsty. He got me a water. I'd been planning to make egg salad and had already boiled the eggs the day before. I thought the protein and fat would be good for me right then, so Josh made the egg salad, coming back in for me to tell him the steps. I decided that I wouldn't push myself at all that day, so I stayed in bed, and Josh stayed with me.


Later, I talked to my mom on the phone and described how I'd been feeling. She said that when she trained as an EMT, her instructors had told her not to even transport a woman who had fainted if she was obviously pregnant. Apparently, it's just so common. So I'm glad I called out for Josh right away. She also said that the hardening sensation and the weirdness I felt the night before was probably Braxton Hicks contractions. It seems like I should have known that, but I didn't. Like the colostrum leaking, this shows that my body knows what it's doing and getting ready to do. It's just amazing to me. I never thought I'd have children, and I couldn't fathom being physically able to do all that as other women can.

Late in the evening, we packed for our shower trip. Josh then gave me a meticulous pedicure since I really can't make that happen anymore. He was so patient, painting two coats of teal and a top coat of gold glitter at my request. He did a better job than I would have done normally! Having fancy nails made me feel pretty and celebratory for the coming occasion.


Josh will really try to do just about anything I ask, and he never complains about it. I'm very lucky, especially since he always has absolute belief in my abilities.

30 Before 30 Update: I've paid off our smallest credit card and put a good chunk into savings (the account had $100 in it a few months ago. No, no zeros are missing). Maybe we'll be able to pay most of our delivery costs outright and not have another monthly bill. Luckily, we're already on a payment plan with my OB and will have his projected costs paid before Oliver arrives.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Maternity Fairy Clothes: Saltwater Pearl.


 After not leaving the house for a week, getting dressed for work was kind of exciting. This dress isn't maternity; it normally has a a sash, so I just took that out. This cardigan hid my pregnancy a couple of times this winter before I shared the news at work. It's so billowy and shimmery, and it looks just as pretty over a long-sleeved shirt.


I wear a tank top under the dress to make it more work appropriate. Aren't those gold threads in the cardigan lovely? This is one of the necklaces I bought during my necklace craze. It's probably one of my favorites.


We have a very sandy driveway. Are these princess shoes or what? I'm incredibly sad because one of the rhinestones fell out at some point during the day, and I haven't been able to find it. I'm bereft.


Sparkly barrettes make the weird phase of growing out a pixie fun. And fun nail polish helps everything. I never painted my nails until a couple of years ago. Pretty fingernails always make me feel happy when I'm working or writing. Both of these nail polishes haunted me from Sephora until I bought them. If something for $9 haunts you for a week, just buy it.


Dress: Ann Taylor Loft
Tank: Ann Taylor Loft
Cardigan: Charlotte Russe
Flats: Nine West
Necklace: Ann Taylor Loft
Barrette: Handpicked
Nail Polish: Sephora by OPI in Worth My Weight over Mermaid to Order

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Journal Prompt: What I Know for Sure.


Here is another Journal Day prompt from Sometimes Sweet:

"The older we get, the more certain we get about who we are and what our purpose is.  For me, a lot of it is still unknown, but as I make my way down my own path, I have begun to realize that there are indeed some inevitable truths that I know for sure. On your own blog, write a post that talks about 'the one thing you know for sure.'"

Readers have probably already noticed this, but I know for sure that a focus on tiny joys can make life sweet. It may be the only action that consistently sweetens life, in fact, because huge joys are rare, short-lived, and often exhausting. Even my huge joys have consisted of small ones. For example, my honeymoon at Disney World has lingering sweetness not because of the sweeping, fantasy landscapes, the castle, or the rides but rather vanilla ice cream encased in a hard chocolate shell at the Lady and the Tramp-themed Italian restaurant, the mardi gras mirrors at our hotel, the blue plastic wand Josh begged off a lady at the castle even though I wasn't a little girl, the bus drivers announcing us as newlyweds, the heat on my face during the Indiana Jones show, sharing an overpriced bottle of water and skinny bag of popcorn with my love, and the little girl screaming, "That's my mouse, Mama. That mouse is mine," during a parade. The joy of this pregnancy has been in little movements under our hands, little sounds on a machine that looks like a doll's karaoke machine, little grainy images, and other little bits of gradual evidence.


I don't think I really understood this until I experienced the first great misery of my life that wasn't at all self-inflicted (for most of my miseries, I can trace at least some of it back to something stupid I did). In a total haze of fear, heartbreak, shock, and horror, I actually saw small glimmers more clearly: a stranger being courteous, a runner saying, "Thank you," as I stepped off the sidewalk, a crispy little bread stick, a Shirley Temple, a neck pillow, a pink striped nightgown, multicolored rhinestones on a necklace larger than anything I'd normally buy, being able to read a paragraph without getting confused, homemade honey, wearing my own clothes, hearing my husband say, "Just tell me what you need me to do, and I'll do it," half of a club sandwich, plain pita chips and time to eat them.

I've kept that--the awareness. It's not automatic; I do have to be deliberate about it (which is part of this blog's purpose). But I rarely feel dull or depressed now. I also feel less anxiety about myself and others. I may not be able to fix some huge problem or make someone better, but I can enjoy this bite of broccoli cheddar soup or appreciate the line this cheap calligraphy pen makes. So I am okay. And maybe I can occasionally bring about or point out some little something that makes someone else okay too.

Even More Mini Sequins.


"Creating ways to be happy is your life's work, a challenge that won't end until you die."
--Martha Beck

*Writing a grocery list on a yellow pad with a lavender flair tip pen.

*My purple yoga mat and block. Not that I've been using them for yoga...but the mat is very nice to sit on while cleaning, doing a project, or organizing kitchen cabinets. And we can use it under a blanket to pad the wood floor for Oliver's play time!

*Glade Sugar Plum room spray. It appeared at Christmas time, and others must have discovered it too because I was only able to find one can during the whole season!


*My silver seahorse hooks I use to hang necklaces (just out of the kitties' reach).

*Children in Tasha Tudor art.

*Susan Branch drawings of anything from straw hats and strawberries...and her stickers especially.

*Corinne Bailey Rae's songs...so mellow whether cheery or melancholy.


*How my pink lampshade makes darkened rooms look rosy.

*Paying a chunk toward credit cards (even if it won't make much of a difference).

*Putting a chunk in savings (which feels much more obviously helpful than the above).

*Having plenty of clean laundry.

*Josh Groban singing "You Raise Me Up."


*Having more than one pretty, satisfying-today outfit to choose from.

*My Cinderella print with the blue striped matting (we got a discount because the ivory frame was a bit scratched).

*Having postage stamps in an easy-to-find location.

*The royal blue velvet, silver silky-lined, silver sparkle trimmed cape my mom made some eighteen years ago for my dark-haired doll.

*A newly remade bed (especially if Josh did it. He always has a great attitude about this).

*Josh putting up pictures and posters.

*The rubber mat in our tub. It's ugly, but it's kept me from slipping since my balance got funky.

*Having an aux jack in the car.

*Having readers (or clickers) in a thirty-two countries. No way!

*Being able to tell my mom about the best kind of ponytail holders and where to buy shelf paper.


*Rabbit kisses. Button and Otter (Mom's bunnies) don't really do this anymore, but they were generous as babies.

*A fridge that smells like cold pizza (because I ordered pizza).

*Examining my large belly and betrayed-looking belly button in the hall mirror.

*Feeling Oliver's head under my hand when he rolls around.

*Writing on Josh's hand.


*Eating pudding before 10 a.m.

*Finding room for my shoes (so far).

*The green plastic crate Melissa decorated with my name in purple foam letters.

*The nice new purple cat tower Josh bought to replace the very nasty, five-year-old one we had. The cat hair and crusted cat nip were bearable, but the spilled diet soda was the end.

*Finally reading a book I really should have read one hundred years ago.

*The fact that Peter Facinelli is nice.

*Cinnamon toothpaste and dental floss.


*Journals by Papaya.

*Pink roses on a pale green background.

*Josh drinking tea.

*My silver Tinkerbell ring from Disneyworld (even though my fingers are too swollen to wear it right now).

*Actually throwing away a dry pen instead of just putting it back in the cup and hoping it will work eventually.

*Finding the throw pillows (hot pink silky with purple velvet Aurora and Prince Phillip silhouette, blue silky with dark blue velvet Cinderella and Prince silhouette, green embroidered, purple embroidered, and lavender velvet with icicle beads)  that had been packed up for months.


*My sparkly silver and pink VH-1 Save the Music makeup bag.

*Glitter powders that smell like blackberry, peppermint, and marshmallow.

*Finding a really distinctive pair of shoes in a really practical color.

*My small, heart-shaped pillow that perfectly supports my knees, neck, or lower back. I could use more.

*Bath and Body Works selling home stuff at Valentine's Day (like the heart-shaped pillow and a stationery set in a red, envelope-shaped box).


*Having a big stack of magazines to leaf through at my leisure.

*Eating sunflower seeds with my mom at the pool.

*Bringing over a big box of Panera pastries on my mom's birthday.

*Love notes Josh writes to me as he watches me waddle back and forth to the bathroom (with Oliver's happy feet, this trail stays well-traveled at night).

*A Subway club on wheat with tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, and avocado.

*Making a ton of pasta salad or fried rice and not having to cook for a few days.

*Owning most of my favorite movies.


*Looking back at lists of books I've read.

*Looking back at lists of books to read and finding that I've read some of them since I made the list.

*Looking at a display at a bookstore and seeing several familiar covers.

*Floor space where boxes used to be.

*Someone picking up our trash and recycling. The magic just doesn't fade.

*Having a recycling bin as big as our trash bin.

*This photo: