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Saturday, April 6, 2019

My Current Obsession: Dear Evan Hansen.

Bruce and I saw the 6-Tony-award-winning musical Dear Evan Hansen a few weeks ago. I walked in almost completely blind--that's what we usually do with shows that are unfamiliar to both of us. I feel so lucky that we got to see this show with our season tickets--no insane prices.

Song lyrics and titles sewed their way into my memory, so I knew I would recognize most of them on the album later--and I knew I'd come back to those songs again and again.

The story was beautiful like broken stained glass against the sun. I fell for Evan's ambivalence, his intense need for family and love, and the locked-up love he has without an outlet. I could identify with his sometimes unquenchable loneliness and the skinless-in-the-sand feeling of social anxiety and sensory overload. And I fell for other characters' experience too--the impact of suicidality on a family, the search for connection, the feeling of being haunted, and even the denial and the lies the characters accept because they simply must.

So I fell in love with Dear Evan Hansen. When the show ended, my mind shifted, and I knew this was my second-favorite show (Phantom, of course, is first forever).

Sometimes, a show wears me out, and I'm ready to go home and process it. Not this show. I was totally engaged. When I went home, I traveled to the songs on Spotify, watched online videos of clips and interviews, ordered a hardcover book about the show, and bought the novelization (!), which Bruce and I are starting.

I find myself singing--something I've started doing more often recently. The songs, even the rough ones, cuddle up to me and stay close. I like every song. So that's my in-the-shower and pretty-much-all-the-time music. Josh has let me borrow his big headphones. I'll get my own...pink or purple.

The intensity of my obsession will become more manageable, but as with Phantom, I believe Evan will always press on my heart.

We're letting the obsession continue. It makes me happy even though the rush can be overwhelming. My mom said, "I'm glad you've found a new treasure." Yes.

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