October Poetry Month: Week 4

Day 1: I've finally gotten back to the poetry work! Today's book was White Pine by Mary Oliver. I love the quiet meditation of her poems, and as I said a couple of weeks ago, hers is the only nature poetry I tend to like. I've now read nine of her poetry collecitons, and I have more to read. I wrote a poem for her called "The Owl Queen."

Day 2: Today, I read two poetry books: Green by Melissa Fite Johnson and A Plumber's Guide to Light by Jesse Bertron, a chapbook. I wrote a poem called "No One Ever," responding to a poem in Green. I don't know if I can respond to A Plumber's, but it was good, worth reading again. I'm still not feeling well, but I managed a good three hours of reading in the evening. I'm now a little more caught up. I've now read eighteen books of poetry this month, so I'm still about five books behind--gracious.  I've written only sixteen poems, so I'm behind by seven. Strep really laid me out last week. This challenge may have to spill into November, but I'll get it done. The good news is that I'm currently nine books ahead (90 books) on my annual reading goal! I only have 10 books to go, so I hope to surpass my goal by a good bit. Several weeks are left! I continue to read two or more poems from Fairy Poems, the Everyman's Library Pocket Poet book Josh gave me. I hope to finish it before or soon after the end of the month. I'm almost halfway through. So, 

Day 3: I read Anson County: Poems by Bathanti today. I decided not to spread poets out; I have another by Bathanti and two more by AMP. I'll try to read them all before the end of the month. I wrote an as-yet-untitled poem after Bathanti. I'll let it sit tonight and try to untangle it and name it in the morning. At the moment, I'm four poetry books behind and six poems behind. I found a few more chapbooks, which will help me catch up. I have one week left. 

Day 4: Today, I read two books. Triumph of Achilles is Louise Gluck's fourth book of poetry. I thought Id read a ton of her books, but I have so many more to read! I hadn't realized she won the NOBEL PRIZE. I guess even her tenure as US Poet Laureate and her Pulitzer Prize pale compared to that! I definitely need to read the rest of her books.  The second book was Spinning the Vast Fantastic, a chapbook by Britton Shurley. That one got three stars. I didn't write a poem today...I may not reach the poetry-writing goal this month. Vertigo kept me down a bit today. I don't know what's causing it.

Day 5: I read two more books of poetry today: Those Days When Love Doesn't Work by Nancy Tripp King (I had to add it to StoryGraph) and AMP's Days Like Prose. I thought I'd read so much more of AMP's poetry, but I'm catching up now. Both books got four stars. I'm amazed I accomplished that much because my vertigo was severe, especially in the morning.

Day 6: I spent this morning in the hospital with extreme vertigo, so I did not read or write any poems. I have eight books left to read and only four days to do it!

Day 7: Vertigo was bad again this morning, the worst it's been. Dang. So reading was difficult at best. I went on Libby and searched "Poetry audio." I borrowed Feel Your Way Through, a book of poetry by Kelsea Ballerini. I've never listened to her music. I wouldn't call the book literary poetry, but the rhythm and rhymes were soothing. I bought another audio book for under $3: Be With, poems by Forrest Gander. It's a Pulitzer-Prize winner! So that helps me with my 40 before 40 goal to read ten Pulitzers during this decade of my life. And finally, as my vertigo stayed away in the evening, I visually read Louise Gluck's Meadowlands. I'm now at 98 total books for the year, 16 books ahead on my goal! If I can finish my poetry month reading goal, I'll get there! Since I've been so sick, I may be listening to a lot of poetry over the next few days. Only five books to go! I also wrote a new poem called "Watching True Crime Shows in the ER."

October Poetry Month: Week 3...Largely a Bust.

This week, I didn't read or write much. I spent a lot of time at the hospital, trying to figure out what has me sick. On Friday night, I finally found out that I have strep. I've spent a lot of time in bed this week and haven't felt up to much. I keep wanting to read or write, but I hardly feel able. 

On Sunday, I wrote a poem called "When the Moment Comes," which takes the title and first line from Daniel Halpern's "Nature Lover's Lament" and images from his "Daughter & Chair."

On Tuesday, I did read The Dark between Stars by Atticus. It's not what I'd call literary poetry, but the photos are interesting, and I liked a couple of the itty bitty poems.  On Friday, I finished Bringing the Shovel Down by Ross Gay, my first book by him. I have a couple of his nonfiction books, which I'd like to read soon. One is called Inciting Joy. His poetry was not very joyful, so I'll be interested to see the difference in tone. The book did have some redemption, though. 

So I've read 15 books of poetry and written 14 poems. I have a long way to go! This challenge may dribble into November, but I still plan to go for 31 of each. 

October Poetry Month: Week Two.

Day 1: I finally read The Hurting Kind by Ada Limon. I just love her. I've read all but one (maybe?) of her other books of poetry. I started reading her work (and she became a favorite) before she became US Poet Laureate. I discovered her in Raleigh last year at a tiny bookstore, starting with Sharks in the Rivers. The Hurting Kind is my favorite of her books, five stars! Two five-star poetry books so far this month? Awesome. I'd like to reread all of her books at once, maybe in April. I hope she'll publish many new books in quick succession now that she's so famous. Interestingly enough, she also teaches in Queens MFA program! All these connections. I told Josh that I didn't know if I could respond to Love & F*ck Poems, but he told me to take it as a challenge. So I wrote "Introduction," a poem about my first sexual experiences (spoiler: they weren't positive). It's not nearly as graphic as some of Dimitriadis's poems, but I think I captured some of her desperation. The poem also made me recognize a latent belief that had been fogging up the back of my mind and finally spilled into conscious thought. That's something to work on and perhaps something to explore further in poetry...or at least in my journal. I stayed up quite late reading The Hurting Kind. I read several poems aloud to Josh as he fell asleep, and I finished the book in the bathtub. When I couldn't get to sleep, I wrote another poem, this one called "Jar of Scorpions," after Limon's poem of the same name. 

Day 2: This day was a bust. I was intensely exhausted, partly from staying up too late reading and partly from an emotional onslaught. I think the beginnings of a mood episode or a fight with this respiratory infection going around may be contributed as well. I decided I'd have to be more careful about sleep. So, I didn't read a book of poetry or write a poem on this day, but I'm still going to catch up! Since I wrote two poems the day before, I'm not behind on writing, and I've already responded to the last book I read.

Day 3: My book of the day was Light at the Seam by Joseph Bathanti, another of my former professors. It's largely a book rural mountain environment poems. Bathanti captures place and demographics so well in all his writing that I've read. I'm not sure how I'll respond. But I did write a poem called "When You're Exhausted." This poem came from what I did today, tired as I was, and some advice people gave me through a Facebook post about physical and existential exhaustion. In another connection, Jessie gave me the last line of the poem. 

Day 4: I read Molly Peacock's The Analyst, a sort of love letter to her former psychoanalyst. Could I write a poem to my therapist or psychiatrist? Maybe. To catch up, I also read The Death of a Migrant Worker, a chapbook from Rattle. I don't know if I'll be able to respond to all these books, but I'll try. I didn't write a poem today, so I'm behind on that, but at least I'm caught up on reading. 

Day 5: My book of the day was Daniel Halpern's Something Shining. I didn't love it, and I don't know if I have a response to it, but I marked some lines I liked. I didn't write anything today, so I'm more behind. I hope to catch up this weekend as Oliver will be in Charlotte. 

Day 6: I wrote a poem called "October" based on texts Josh and I exchanged this morning. I read half of This Clumsy Living by Bob Hicok but didn't finish it. It was getting late, and I'm afraid of messing myself up again if I don't get enough sleep. I have new ideas for poems, though.

Day 7: I wrote two poems after Bob Hicok: "Ruth's Reply" and "This Is the Complete Shape of the World, an Inventory, a Map," which takes its title from one of Hicok's lines. I like to write a prompt for a poem in my journal (sometimes a title, sometimes first or last lines) at night and respond to them the next day. I finished Bob Hicok's This Clumsy Living. Hicok taught at Queens; I was in his large workshop once. I'm now only behind by one poem and one book of poetry. I've completed thirteen of each!

Writing Conference Prompts: Desired Outcomes.

 Desired Outcomes as a Reader

• Read 100 books this year
• Fill time with reading
• Read 31 books of poetry in October
• Read visually 2+ hours daily
• Read poems every day
• Read a story every day
• Read art
• Listen to books at every opportunity
• Read within my passions and curiosities
• Read outside my tendencies
• Read with Josh
• Read with Bruce
• Read some of Josh's books
• Read anthologies, especially Best American
• Approach books with curiosity

What am I doing well?

• The desire is there.
• I read deeply.
• I reflect on what I read.
• I read to help myself write.

What could I do better?

• Focus
• Put in the time
• Read widely
• Read daily
• Listen to books more

How can I do better?

• Keep headphones charged
• Listen during chores and meals
• Read The Plague
• Read a chapter of Creative Recovery each week
• Read poetry collections all at once in a day or two
• Finish a book most days
• Time my reading
• Use chart
• Update GoodReads and StoryGraph

Writing Conference Prompt: When I Am at My Best.

When I am at my best, I am

Industrious

• hard working
• steady
• focused 
• diligent

Studious

• curious
• searching
• note taking
• absorbing
• applying

Kind

• patient
• gentle
• encouraging
• loving
• empathic and empathetic

Creative

• present
• brave
• determined
• open
• passionate
• prolific
• visionary
• eager
• in wonder

Relaxed

• not tense
• satisfied
• content
• proud
• not anxious
• not guilty
• peaceful
• playful
• funny

Voracious

• exploring
• reading widely
• reading daily
• reading deeply

Integrated

• consistent
• honest
• authentic
• stable
• available
• engaged

October Poetry Month: Week One.

This month, I challenged myself to read 31 books of poetry. I plan on repeating this challenge every April and October. This time, I have some library books and plenty of slim (and not-so-slim) volumes on my unread-poetry shelves. It's not exactly a poetry fast (which I've done before) as I'm reading and listening to other genres to a lesser degree. A side quest has been to write 31 poems as well, most of them in response to the poets, books, or poems I've read. I did pretty well my first week.

Day 1: I read The Woman Who Fell from the Sky by Joy Harjo. I wrote a poem called "Misread," in response to Harjo's poem "Northern Lights." It's mostly about how I misread crows in her poem as cows. Ha! It made for a funny image. I also pondered addiction and privelege in the poem. 

Day 2: I read Kim Addonizio's Lucifer at the Starlight. This was a book that Josh bought me as a gift this month. I plan to read a lot more of her work. Josh bought me another of her books, so I'll probably read that this month too! I wrote a poem called Myth for Addonizio, after her book. 

Day 3: In an unintentional connection (I'd already planned my first few books), I read Subterranean by Jill Bialosky, who happened to be Addonizio's editor! I've seen a few links like that this month. I wrote a poem called "My Heart," after Kim Addonizio's poem of the same title. I sent it to Josh and Bruce as I usually do, and I also sent it to my mom. I also wrote a poem called "Overdue," which wasn't a response to what I'd read...just a poem about all my overdue library books! 

Day 4: This was a busy day, so I went for a chapbook: Shopping after the Apocalypse by Jessie Carty. Jessie and I were in our MFA program together sixteen years ago, and we've stayed in touch. I wrote a poem called "The Rings" after Jill Bialosky's "The Circles, the Rings." Her poem has several stanzas that all begin with the line "I don't think it was snowing," so I wrote my poem with the same pattern. It ended up being about living in Boone, about my meeting Josh, and about our ill-advised romance, which pretty much worked out against all odds. Out of a kind of misplaced loyalty to my family, I think, I haven't written much about that. It's time to put aside all misplaced loyalty!

Day 5: My book of the day was Falling Awake by Alice Oswald, an overdue library book. It wasn't a favorite. I'd never read Oswald. This book was mostly nature poems. I usually don't care much for those apart from Mary Oliver's. I wrote a poem for Jessie, responding to the first poem in her Shopping after the Apocalypse with my "Shopping for the Journey," which was a tribute to some things I deem essential and to my friendship with Jessie. 

Day 6: Since I'd read a book by a fellow Queens University alumna, I decided to read The Ladder by Alan Michael Parker, my thesis advisor. This was another overdue library book (I made a purchase request for it), but I think I'll buy a copy eventually because I gave it five stars! I've read most of AMP's poetry books, and this, competing with Elephants and Butterflies, may be my favorite. I didn't write a poem on this day, but I had one planned.

Day 7: This day, I read Love and F*ck Poems by Koraly Dimitriadis. It popped up in Amazon recommendations when, I think, I was looking for Denise Levertov books. It, along with Dimitriadis's other book Just Give Me the Pills, was on sale for about $5, so I ordered both. The poems were graphic, passionate, disconsolate, and sometimes manic. I knew I'd have a hard time responding to that! I had already written down the title a poem the day before, so I wrote "To the Jewish Sir Ben Kingsley," a poem for Alan, responding to The Ladder. It's true; he looks just like Ben Kingsley, and I laughed out loud when I saw that line in his poem. 

So that's seven books of poetry and seven poems in my first week!

Writing Conference Prompts: Roles, Rights, and Responsibilities

One of the speakers told us to write down our primary roles and the rights and responsibilties of each role. 

Role: Writer

Rights: to take time, to express, to receive encouragement from my close readers

Responsibilities: to make time, to be brave and diligent, to write it, to read and fill the well

Role: Wife

Rights: support, touch, romance, passion, security and safety, adoration

Responsibilities: support, cleaning/chores, planning, fidelity, openness, words of affirmation, touch, company, gentleness and patience

Role: Teacher

Rights: a measure of authority, recognition of my knowledge, pay

Responsibilities: helping others fear writing less, building vocabularies, explaining grammar, holding students to high standards, grading work, answering E-mails

Role: Mother

Rights: Seeing Oliver’s smile, snuggling occasionally, seeing what love made, memories

Responsibilities: patience, attention, cheerfulness, managing interruptions, cooperation with others, appointments, admin work, support

Role: Reader

Rights: indulging my imagination, experiencing, feeling

Responsibilities: staying curious, putting in the time, studying, reading widely and daily and deeply

Writing Conference Prompts: Lies and Fears.

What am I pretending not to know? If I were willing to admit it, what would change my life?

• I’m really not sure what I’m pretending not to know. Sometimes, I pretend not to know that Josh and I are addicts (behaviors, not substances), but I think I’ve acknowledged it to the point that I can start healing and we can continue the recovery journey together. 
• I pretend not to know how much I need books and what a crummy reader I am. I have to take ownership of that.
• I pretend not to know how much bitterness I have toward a couple of people. I can't resolve it, so I try not to feel it. None of these things seem all that revelatory in a good way.
• I pretend not to know that I should write publically and publish. I tell myself I don’t want the notoriety, that I’m content with scribbling in a journal. But maybe I don’t want to be what Alexandra Johnson calls a “hidden writer.” 
• I pretend not to know that I’m capable of writing poems and stories and books. 
• I pretend not to know what I can do. 
• I pretend not to know the difference between rest and laziness…it’s a difficult distinction, but I think I know it. I should, anyway. Or do other people struggle with that too?
• I pretend not to know that I have some horrible thoughts that probably stem from some intense mental illness or depravity. Or maybe I pretend not to know that those thoughts, the intrusive ones, are a version of normal. I don’t really see how any of this liberates me. 
• I pretend not to know how bad I am at managing time. 
• I pretend not to know how tired I am. 

Something I no longer fear: 

I’m not really afraid that Josh doesn’t love me. I know he does, has, and will. It won’t be perfect. He will hurt me. He may betray me. But it’s real. The good things count. The memories count even if he wasn't fully present. I also no longer fear that I won't be able to forgive him. And I no longer fear that I will betray myself.

I'm no longer afraid that I will betray Josh in some way. I've betrayed his trust before, but that was a long time ago. The more recent times I've caused him to mistrust me feel distant too because of the resolutions I've made, that I feel capapble of fulfilling. I no longer fear that I won't be able to recover. I've recovered myself before. I've put measures in place to help me be who I want to be and who my family needs me to be. I'm also no longer pretending that my worst flaws aren't that big of a deal. 

I'm no longer afraid, I think, of my parents' disapproval. I've done about the worst things I'm capable of doing. It was bad for a time, but it's not bad now. I've made the confessions I need to make. I'm trying to live well. But their approval isn't tantamount as it used to be. It doesn't control my actions through submission or through rebellion. I'm not ashamed to ask them for help. They also seemed to have accepted me a lot more as I've gotten older.

This is a lie I’ve told before:

What lies have I told? That I haven’t eaten sticky candy: a Starburst or a Skittle that pulled out my crowns. I think the dentist is the only person I lie to. I'm not much of a liar, and I've become less secretive. Maybe I embellish the truth for the sake of storytelling sometimes. Maybe I am vague about the truth. But I can't think of a recent time I've done these things. Maybe I lie to myself. Do I lie to myself about what’s important to me? Or how much rest I need (more? less?)? Or how I need to manage my time? Maybe I’ve lied about my ambition, pretending to be content with a smaller life, with journals, with writing privately. That seems to be what's coming out of the prompts today.

Writing Conference Prompts: Creative Heroes.

 A couple of weekends ago, I went to a virtual writing retreat. Some of the writers who influenced me most when I was growing up and starting to write were there. It was as if the retreat had been built for me. Bruce and I did the retreat together, so I spent most of the weekend at his house. He was willing to let me barge in for three days, and Josh was willing to take care of Oliver alone during the retreat. Even though I couldn't be there in person, I got so much out of the retreat. I'm typing up responses I wrote in my journal to prompts the speakers gave us, and I'm going to share some of them.

Creative Hero: Natalie Goldberg (my first thought, and one of the only creative heroes who wasn't speaking at the retreat)

• Practicing

• Dedicated

• Tireless

• Unapologetic

• Open

• In community

• Integrated

We cannot admire or see a good attribute unless it is within us. 

I am committed to letting this come out in my life.

I admire Natalie Goldberg because she is ever in practice. I have reproduced that practice in my life, even if I don’t feel as dedicated and I can’t throw away my notebooks. She is tireless. She’s been in writing practice for what, fifty years? I’ve been in writing practice for twenty-two years. She’s open. I don’t feel so open, but I have divulged a lot on my blogs. That’s about as far as my community goes. Most of all, I admire how unapologetic and integrated she is. I try to be integrated, and I’m fairly unapologetic. When I do something I think is good, something I think shows or encourages growth, I’m proud of it. I just want to integrate all that I’ve learned and admired into my identity and into my daily life.

Who are my home heroes, and what would I give them credit for?

Kathryn Stripling Byer, Joseph Bathanti, Alan Michael Parker: professors from my BA in English, Creative Writing and from my MFA in Creative Writing, Poetry. All of these people played a role later in my life, affecting my life, my profession, and my writing.

Kay showed me what it looks like to be a practicing poet. She was open and inspiring. She welcomed me. She is the reason I believe I can be both a writer and a mother. She saw Josh’s love for me. She saw his talent and soul, the ways he is beyond me, and the ways we are equal. She gave me a new respect for Josh. She seemed so solid and secure in herself. And she seemed so sure of me. After reading my work, she said, “Obviously, you can do this,” and I’ll never forget that. My talent and ability were obvious to her, and she expected them to be obvious for me. She also showed interest in our lives, our family, and our poetry long after she was our teacher. She featured us on her poetry blog.

Bathanti was just the portrait of kindness and gentleness. I don’t think he’s ever looked down on anyone. He remembered us when he came to read at the college where I was working twice. He kissed our son’s head. He wrote “Advising,” a searing poem about supporting students in higher education. He was willing to take the child in the poem. And he is so quietly successful, so engaged and engaging. He showed me how I could be a writer and a genuine, open person. 

Alan challenged me as a writer, more than anyone else ever had. He showed me that I can always get better. But he also told me, showed me, that I belong. He said I belonged in the MFA program. But he wasn’t going to let me get by; he said I had a long way to go. He expected me to participate. He drew me out socially and poetically in the program. He expected me to work. I couldn’t just sit on my little talent, hoard it and lock it up, preserve it. He demanded that I study and grow. And later, he read at the college where I was working, and he remembered me. He asked my opinion in front of the administration. He told me if my pregnancy (I was pregnant with Oliver at the time) took up all my creative energy. When I said, “I teach full time, and I’m going to have a baby. All of my dreams have come true,” he said, “Oh, no. You always need more dreams.”

Daily, Weekly, Monthly, and Annual Ideals.

I took my list from my last blog about the kind of person I want to be and arranged that into daily, weekly, monthly, and annual goal lists. I made charts for these, and I'm using a pink glitter highlighter to mark what I accomplish. A full spot means I've done it, and a dot means I've worked on it (such as working on grading but not fully catching up).  

Ideally, every day, I will

1. Finish a book

2. Read poems

3. Read a story

4. Do yoga

5. Shower before noon

6. Catch up dishes

7. Catch up laundry

8. Pick up the house

9. Take a shower before noon

10. Eat breakfast

11. Eat lunch

12. Eat dinner

13. Drink 3 or fewer sodas from home

14. Brush twice

15. Floss once

16. Get an hour of touch

17. Stare/zone out for <30 minutes

18. Read visually

19. Listen to an audio book

20. Stay caught up on reading goal

21. Have no overdue library books

22. Do something sexy

23. Finish a writing product or work on a book

24. Journal 5+ pages

25. Do morning pages

26. Read to the boys

27. Update my marriage diary

28. Study something

29. Send a submission

30. Make Oliver’s lunch/prepare drinks

31. Blog

32. Listen to an audio book

33. Plan for 20 minutes

34. Take a.m., p.m., and night meds

35. Stay sober

36. Talk to a friend

37. Catch up on notetaking

38. Catch up on quotations

39. Update financial app

40. Play or do art

41. Daydream

42. Catch up grading

43. Catch up E-mail

44. Catch up training

45. Get a massage or take a bath

46. Clean and wear nightguard

47. Delete/file 50 personal E-mails

48. Talk with Josh

49. Read a magazine article in the morning

50. Update duotrope

51. Meet step goal

52. Meet stair goal

53. Keep up with library app

54. Keep up with Libby

55. Read art 

 

Ideally, every week, I will

1. Read a blog

2. Finish a magazine

3. Hang out with Bruce

4. Plan submissions

5. Cook for Josh twice

6. Go on a Saturday walk

7. Go on a second walk

8. Go on an artist’s date

9. Watch a movie or two episodes

10. Talk to Mom

11. Inventory

12. Have sex 3 times

13. Write a poem

14. Write a short story

15. Complete a chapter with Josh (reading, notes, writing, discussing)

16. Visit the library

17. Finish two books 

Ideally, every month, I will

1. Stay within my spending budget ($140 + planned expenses)

2. Finish a journal

3. Keep a positive bank balance

Ideally, every year, I will 

1. Read 31 poetry books in April

2. Read 31 poetry books in October

3. Read 10 children’s books in winter

4. Read 10 YA books in spring

5. Read 10 short story collections in summer

6. Read 10 nonfiction books in fall

7. Read 100 books

8. Read 5 award winning books

9. Read Best American Poetry

10. Read Best American Short Stories

11. Read Best American Essays

12. Read Best American Food Writing

13. Read Best American Travel Writing

14. Read Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy

Specific Goal for 2023: Read 25 art/fashion/design books

Specific Goal for 2024: Read 20 published diaries/books on journaling

The Kind of Person I Want to Be.

 It was a hard summer. But now, I'm thinking about who (whom?) I want to be as I enter a new season. I started a list in my journal. Some of the items on the list I already do/am. Some of them are starflung. 

I want to be the kind of person who...

• Sparkles

• Finishes a book every day or two

• Always takes her meds

• Reads books in all forms

• Reads poetry every day

• Reads a short story each day

• Reads Best American Poetry each year

• Reads Best American Short Stories each year

• Reads Best American Essays each year

• Reads Best American Food Writing each year

• Reads Best American Travel Writing each year

• Goes on artist’s dates

• Writes poems

• Writes short stories

• Writes magical realism

• Reads all of FLB’s books

• Reads Anne Lamott books

• Reads SARK books

• Keeps an inspiring blog

• Reads creative magazines

• Cuts up magazines for art

• Keeps an art journal

• Doesn’t keep too many read books

• Always has plenty to read

• Pays down credit cards

• Keeps a journal

• Wears unique jewelry

• Has cute pajamas

• Takes baths regularly

• Likes receiving gifts

• Has a simple faith

• Daydreams

• Saves money

• Drinks a lot of water

• Uses her desk

• Uses her project table

• Spends time in the study

• Can nap

• Loves season changes

• Likes to be naked

• Reads multiple books at once

• Uses rubber stamps

• Plays with stickers

• Plays with makeup

• Color coordinates

• Listens to an audio book each day

• Sticks to a budget

• Plans expenses

• Is ready for occasional bills

• Always has money in checking

• Keeps a daily to-do list

• Checks most items off her list

• Keeps wish lists

• Collects dolls

• Collects journals

• Buys books regularly within budget

• Finds great deals

• Writes with fountain pens

• Cleans her pens

• Showers each morning

• Seeks touch from her husband

• Writes with gel pens

• Doesn’t have crushes

• Is faithful

• Loves movies

• Uses glitter

• Decorates in pink, gray, and white

• Has white wood furniture

• Makes time for snuggling

• Loves Dr. Pepper

• Loves Cherry Coke

• Loves sunshine

• Reads aloud

• Eats a mostly kidney-friendly diet

• Publishes poetry

• Isn’t too concerned with publication

• Wins writing awards

• Send a submission every day

• Reads Julia Cameron books

• Reads new poetry

• Reads fairy tales

• Collects illustrated fairy tales

• Spends time in bookstores

• Visits many bookstores

• Cleans out house regularly

• Organizes regularly

• Does yoga

• Goes to the library

• Listens to Broadway showtunes

• Goes to CFRT

• Tidies daily to help her husband feel at ease

• Prays/Meditates

• Keeps an empty work inbox

• Keeps up with grading

• Feels pretty

• Practices writing

• Loves stars

• Reads challenging books

• Reads indulgent books

• Reads with Josh

• Reads with Bruce

• Doesn’t overindulge in sweets (except soda)

• Has multiple people to talk to in hard times

• Is empathic

• Has sex three times a week

• Collects paper dolls

• Uses Libby

• Uses the library

• Finishes library books on time

• Reads in the bath

• Sends funny memes to Josh and Bruce

• Gets haircuts regularly (8 weeks)

• Uses up paper

• Keeps a notebook

• Is always studying something

• Makes and reaches goals

• Doesn’t have to spend money to enjoy life

• Goes on Saturday walks

• Goes to 10 shows a year

• Watches one movie a week

• Weighs x-x pounds

• Fits in pants size x or x

• Wears size x

• Keeps up with personal E-mail

• Inspires students

• Manages money well

• Absorbs art daily

• Reads coffee table books

• Eats three meals a day

• Tells her husband everything

• Lives passionately

• Uses page flags

• Records quotations

• Dresses with unique professionalism

• Goes to OT every other week

• Keeps good habits

• Takes classes

• Takes trips with Josh twice a year

• Has a great library

• Has a great Kindle library

• Has a great Audible library

• Rereads favorite books

• Drinks Shirley Temples

• Makes a beautiful home

• Is kind

• Inspires others

• Keeps up with training

• Is active at or around home

• Keeps house stocked

• Can handle school drop-off/pick-up

• Reads published diaries

• Always makes O’s lunch

• Keeps a marriage diary

• Reads worthwhile blogs

• Keeps up with Starry’s fountain

• Takes day trips to Raleigh

• Talks to Mom weekly

• Gives teachers gifts

• Gives teachers supplies

• Kisses Josh more than once every day

• Always has a great purse

• Finishes a journal every 3-4 weeks

• Holds hands in public

• Wears great shoes

• Decorates journals

• Uses all kinds of inks

• Learns every day

• Goes on annual writing retreats

• Supports Josh’s running

• Supports Josh’s reading

• Travels each decade

• Dances

• Is patient

• Is brilliant and insightful

• Pays attention to Oliver

• Reads Alexandra Stoddard books

• Drinks iced coffee

• Drinks grape slushes

• Throws away tissues

• Knows all about fairies

• Knows all about mermaids

• Tells interesting stories

• Manages grocery money

• Writes sexy letters to Josh

• Keeps up with flea treatments

• Always has what Oliver needs

• Goes to museums

• Sees parents monthly

• Writes letters or postcards

• Gives family Christmas gifts

• Has enough bookcases

• Has nice bookcases

• Keeps good records

• Reads 100 books a year

• Is rarely tense

• Delights others

• Brushes Oliver’s teeth well

• Catches up on laundry daily

• Catches up on dishes daily

• Reads every book she owns

• Keeps inventory

• Makes collages

• Accomplishes a lot each day

• Uses what she has/buys

• Finds cool books constantly

• Gets enough sleep

• Tries new foods

• Asks for help

• Asks for comfort

• Believes in soulmates

• Likes her husband

• Follows through

• Cooks for Josh twice a week

• Doesn’t have to try too hard to be thin

• Reads about French people

• Reads Ann Patchett books

• Reads Marisa de los Santos books

• Reads Madeleine L’Engle books

• Spends little time scrolling

• Mixes Gatorade

• Is stuffed with poetry and stories

• Sleeps in sometimes

• Has monthly weekends alone with Josh

• Reads magical realism

• Shops the poetry section

• Loves to read

• Is in a writer’s group

• Turns off lights and fans

• Reads for hours each day

• Monitors herself

• Isn’t often lonely

• Talks to Bruce every day

• Likes sex

• Gets great performance reviews

• Eats enough

• Doesn’t eat too much

• Is elegant

• Reads about libraries

• Visits many bookstores

• Sees London

• Sees a West End show

• Receives journals and books as gifts

• Reads Anna-Marie McLemore books

• Reflects often

• Is a practicing poet

• Draws sometimes

• Goes to sleep at 10:30

• Fascinates a few people

• Knows contemporary poetry well

• Memorizes phone numbers, social security numbers, and poems easily

• Sets a positive example

• Eats fruit

• Eats vegetables

• Finishes most books

• Stops reading a book she doesn’t like

• Gives great gifts

• Uses her education

• Listens to books while driving

• Listens to books while doing chores

• Listens to books while staring

• Shares music

• Listens to Josh’s music

• Keeps up with inhalers

• Lives authentically

• Is mentally stable

• Collects stickers

• Reads about her favorite artists

• Likes herself

• Manages her anxiety

• Changes sheets weekly

• Reads children’s lit

• Wear her glasses

• Doesn’t stare too much

• Can tread water for an hour

• Goes to therapy regularly

• Goes to marriage counseling when necessary

• Follows advice of healthcare professionals

• Discovers new music

• Sends comfort kits to the border

• Advocates for people with disabilities

• Checks in with list monthly

• Has a clear conscience

• Has blog readers

• Responds to writing prompts

• Contributes to family finances

• Keeps up with GoodReads

• Keeps up with StoryGraph

• Cleans her pens

• Keeps up with MVP

• Uses writer’s medic bag

• Plays with color

• Reads LGBTQIA+ lit

• Reads YA lit

• Collects gel pens

• Uses all her fountain pens

• Reads 10 Pulitzers a decade

• Encourages others to read

• Reads biographies of writers

• Lives according to her values

• Recycles pens

• Spends time with Starry

• Edits

• Organizes books

• Studies color

• Stays in touch with O’s teachers

• Studies fashion

• Studies interior design

• Reads 10 Newsberrys a decade

• Reads Anais Nin

• Reads memoirs

• Reads Faery Tale Magazine

• Reads home literary magazines

These are my thoughts so far. At the end of fall, I'll see how many actions I take.