Our Study.

I'll describe the study. I'm sitting on the loveseat, which is pink velvet with throw pillows. One pill is pink and says, She Leaves a Little Sparkle Wherever She Goes. That's a theme throughout the house. One is green and says, You Are Magical. Another is pink and says Merry Everything. The last is white with a painting from the Etsy shop A Thing Created: a girl with pink hair, wearing black and white, holding a book, and standing at one end of a library wall of bookcases, inset lights, and cushioned chairs. On either side of the loveseat is a small white end table with two shelves. One holds magazines (I'm so behind!); the other holds boxes of pens and a white basket full of more pens. The double window is behind the loveseat and looks out on the porch. It catches the morning sunlight. Next to each end table is a tall white bookcase. Both hold unread books. One holds a variety of books with decorative boxes on top (receipts, doll clothes, art supplies). One holds short story collections and various pen displays and has two Robin Woods dolls at the top: a dark-haired princess with a silky blue gown and a navy velvet cape with silver lining and trim--Mom gave me the doll and made the clothes for Christmas one year when I was younger than ten--the other doll is a Cinderella with a full trunk and wardrobe. She's wearing the pink gown she made herself. In front of the loveseat is a turquoise velvet ottoman with a turquoise and gold tray. 

The wall to my left is largely an opening from the foyer. The the left of it is a small canvas, light blue with So Many Books--So  Little Time in lettering by Risa Rodil. Beneath that is a hook for Josh's Camelbak. Our yoga mats are rolled up in the corner. The boys' backpacks usually end up there too. Above the entry from the foyer is a dark wooden sign that says Librairie: Rare Books & Fine Prints, 227 Rue Cler, est. in 1801. We found it at Target long ago. To the right of the entrance is a teal metal bar cart that I use for books, especially library books. Above that is a cluster of Josh's hats on hooks. In the center is a purple poster I made on Shutterfly many years ago. It says Read: Books Rock, and it has photos of Josh, tiny Oliver, and I interacting with books. Our weights are in the corner (yes, the study doubles as a gym). 

The wall facing the loveseat has a mint and peach canvas that says Be in Love with Your Life, another Target find. Next is a small accordion doorway to the kitchen. Josh has a chin-up bar there, and above it is a Charlotte Hornets locker room sign. Next is the huge desk Josh's grandfather made for him long ago. It's dark wood with gold drawer pulls for eight little drawers. On the desk is a two-foot faux white birch tree with white lights. Centered above the desk is a lavender Joy Laforme canvas. It shows a night sky and purple, pink, blue, and gray skyscrapers of New York City with a street full of taxis, red brake lights bright. You'd swear life is going on beyond some of the glowing windows. Clustered around the canvas are various sports-team pennants; a purple magnetic marker board; a small canvas in white, pink, and gold that says, She Leaves a Little Sparkle Wherever She Goes; a quotables card ("Life is a beautiful, magnificent thing." --Charlie Chaplin); a very old watercolor self-portrait of mine; three collages I made between the ages of eighteen and twenty (rainbow, pink/green, and purple); and a personalized print from A Thing Created with six of my favorite books: Jane Eyre, The Phantom of the Opera, Writing Down the Bones, Dangerous Angels, Sense and Sensibility, and Never Let Me Go. Next to the desk is Josh's dark wood, open bookcase, which currently holds nonfiction books I've not read yet in rainbow order. Above it is a canvas with pink French books on display as if in a sidewalk stall. 

The wall to my right is probably my favorite. In the center is the white secretary desk my mom and stepdad gave me for a birthday present several years ago. I decorated it with pastel crystal drawer pulls. Atop the desk is a pink vase of faux pink and purple hydrangeas and a lovely Madame Alexander Scarlett O'Hara doll in an elaborate green Christmas dinner gown. Above the desk is an ivory canvas with a gold chandelier dripping crystal. I'd like to have a chandelier painting (since, in most cases, I can't have a real chandelier) in every room. To the left of the desk is a skinny, pink and white five-shelf bookcase. On it are nonfiction books I haven't read in rainbow order. Above the bookcases is a pink Joy Laforme canvas of a pink New York City residential building with flowering trees and a dense, bright garden. Taxis line the street, but the overall effect is pink. Next to the canvas is a little note from long-ago Josh: You are the most beautiful girl. It's on notepaper with a Mary Engelbreit image of a boy with dark, curly hair riding a crowned seahorse. I looked at that image while I was in labor, counting details in my head during contractions. Off to this side is a wheeled desk chair--white wood and bright green upholstery. To the right of the desk is another skinny pink and white bookcase, holding unread fiction and poetry in no particular order. Above this is a painting we call "The Pink Lady." It is an antique Josh bought at Sleep Poet's antique store with a gift card from my mom. In a gilt frame on ivory and pink matting is a woman in a pink dress and fur stole. Her auburn hair is in a bun, and she's holding a bouquet of pink flowers. 

That is our study, the room in which we spend most of our waking hours at home together. It's busy, but it's bright and beautiful--just what I like: a fanciful display of both of us. 

What Makes Me Curious: Part 1.

I gave myself a prompt (which I gleaned from reading an article in Bella Grace) to fill a spread in my journal with objects of my curiosity. A lot of them turned out to be people. I'm thinking about how I can discover more about each of these curiosities. Here they are:

• Native Americans. I have a DK book called North American Indians that I want to read. When I was a little girl, I read as much as I could about Native Americans, but I've forgotten a lot of what I learned. I want to read more Native American writerrs, inclluding Natalie Diaz (I gave Postcolonial Love Poem 5 stars) and Stephen Graham Jones. I read something I'm heavily paraphrasing somewhere: Learn as much about Native American brilliance as about their tragedy. I want to do that. I'm going to search for anthologies of Native American stories or poems.
• Ancient Egypt. Egypt has always fascinated me. I got to learn some about it in AP Art History my senior year of high school. I have a DK book on Ancient Egypt. I want to read that soon. I also want to buy an audio book of Egyptian mythology.
• Interior design. I've always loved floorplans, and I enjoy decorating in my quirky, glittery way. But this year, I've become more interested in interiror design. I've read several books about it this year, and I have four more to read. Even Kindle Unlimited has a book about becoming an interior designer. It's not something I'd actually do, and I don't intend to follow any rules, but I want to learn more about it.
• Kinuko Y. Craft. She is one of my favorite artists. I've had a couple of her calendars, which I need to cut up for prints and art journal pages. I've already hung up some calendar art. I should revisit her beautifully illustrated fairy tales. I've added a couple more to my wish list. And I have one book about her drawings and paintings; I want to read that. Her work is gorgeous and fascinating. Check out her gallery!
• Tasha Tudor. She was another of my favorite artists. I collect books she's illustrated. When I was a little girl, my mom read her copy of A Is for Annabelle to me. It's an alphabet book about a very fancy doll. She gave me my own copy for my eighteenth birthday. Now, I have a story book or two, a book of love poetry, a Child's Garden of Verses, and a book of fairy tales, all of which she illustrated. I want to read each of them and absorb the art. I also have a book about her art; maybe I'll read that in 2024.
• Josephine Wall. Another favorite artist! I have some journals with her art, and I have at least one print in the study from one of her calendars. I also have a book about her and her art that I need to read.
• Amy Brown. Another favorite artist! I've loved Amy Brown since I discovered her as a teenager. One of the first Christmas gifts Josh gave me was a book of her art. I have at least three such books, but I've never read the text. I'd like to get the two other books on her art for my collection. 
• Sunset Boulevard, the musical. I saw this when I was younger than twelve. The cast album still haunts me. I've heard we may get a movie of the musical someday, which would be amazing. The sets and special effects are breathtaking. I have a big hardcover book all about the musical. I've had it for many years, but I've never read it!
• Dear Evan Hansen. I've watched a lot of videos about this show. I've read the companion novel. I've seen the movie. I've seen the show twice, once from the second row! I knew nothing about this musical the first time I saw it, but it became my second-favorite show! I almost got to see it on Broadway, but the pandemic shut it down that night. I have a big hardcover about the musical, and I need to read that. 
• The Phantom of the Opera. I think I'm due to reread this novel. It's also my favvorite musical. I've seen the show seven times, once on Broadway! I have...you guessed it, a big hardcover about the musical. So much to read! I also need to read Andrew Lloyd Weber's and Michael Crawford's memoirs (both of which I own) as they probably reveal a lot about the show.
• Ann Patchett. Ann Patchett just seems like a special person. I've read two of her novels, a memoir, and a book of essays (This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage). I own another book of essays, These Precious Days, which I'd like to read as soon as possible. It's on deck for this year! I also want to read the rest of her novels. She doesn't have a short story collection that I know of. She also has this amazing independent bookstore, Parnassus, and I want to read the bookstore's blog. The store is in Tennessee, and I'd love to go see it.
• Fountain pens and ink. I learn a lot about these from my Pen Squad group on Facebook, and a former pen pal taught me even more. I own fourteen fountain pens, and I've been learning how best to use them, clean them, and care for them. Ink fascinates me. I'm having an ink experience now because I have a Diamine Inkvent calendar with twenty-five miniature bottles of ink! I got the calendar last year too. Since draining a pen of ink takes me a couple of days, I've already started this year's calendar. I'm on number three! I'm also in the process of using each of my inks one by one. I have a desk drawer full of inks: standard, scented, sheening, shimmering, and "chameleon," which means the ink is one color and the glitter is another color. 
• Anais Nin. I've been interested in her since I found a volume of her journal, Nearer the Moon, at the library when I was a teenager. I read it, and in college, I read most of another volume called Fire. Now, I've collected almost all the volumes of her diaries, mostly Kindle books that I got for $2.99 each! I still have a couple to find, including one that's out of print. My goal for next year is to read at least twenty-five published diaries and books about jorunals, and I'll be reading Nin's diaries from the beginning. I have the first three volumes, a gap, a few more volumes...I'm missing the last three volumes. I'll get them all, hopefully prior to next year. I also have a couple of her short story (erotica) collections and other books, novels and nonfiction. I'm fascinated with her as a wildly prolific diarist. I don't think many people besides her have filled as many journals as I have!
• Anne Lamott. I love Annie Lamott. This year, I got to see her speak during a virtual writing conference. I've read some of her books visually, and I've listened to others. I like her voice. She's so irreverant, yet she's a person of great faith. I admire her as a fierce artist and thinker who is a believer. I want to read or listen to the rest of her memoirs and essays. I also need a reread Bird by Bird with a highlighter in hand. My dad gave me the book when I was a teenager, and it helped shape me as a writer.
• Sylvia Plath. So, I've read her journals (back in grad school), but I've only read a scattering of her poems. I have her collected poems, which I want to read soon. It won the Pulitzer, and one of my decade goals is to read at least ten Pulitzer Prize winners, so there you go. I've read one biography, but I'd like to read more. I'd also like to read more of Ted Hughes's poetry; I read Birthday Letters during my MFA. 
• Kim Addonizio. I've really just started reading her. Josh bought me two of her poetry collections this year, and I read both last month. I want to own and read the rest of her poetry. I especially want to read her memoir of writer's life, Budowski in a Sundress. I don't own that yet. I do own her Ordinary Genius, which I'd like to read next year. I also want her The Poet's Companion, which she wrote with Dorianne Laux. I read parts of it in the ASU library as a senior.
• Jill Bialosky. Another poet who happened to be KA's editor! Connections in the poetry world are so interesting. I've read two of her poetry collections, one of them so long ago that I need to read it again. I'm in the middle of her memoir Poetry Will Save Your Life. I need to finish it! I have more books of her poetry on my wish list, and I've checked out one of her novels on Libby. 
• David Lehman. Another poet. I read his The Daily Mirror many years ago. Now, I have his Evening Sun: A Journal in Poetry. He is also the standing editor of the wondrous Best American Poetry series. He gathers the poems and then gives them to a guest editor, who selects seventy-five poems from the year's journals and magazines. So he is kind of the king of poetry. I want to read more of her poems, and I want to read his forewards to as many BAPs as possible.
• Donald Hall. I've read his Selected Poems, which wasn't really my taste. But I love his nonfiction. I've read Unpacking the Boxes and The Best Day, the Worst Day; the latter is about his life with the poet Jane Kenyon. I own his newest book, Essays at Eighty, and it's on my reading list for next year.
• Amy Gerstler. My favorite poet! I've read all of her easily-accessed books and the BAP for which she was guest editor. Her poems appear regularly in years of BAP as well, including the 2023 volume I'm starting to read! I want to get a hold of her books that are out of print. Once I do that, I want to reread all her poetry in order of publication.
• Best American anthologies. As you may have read, one of my major goals is to read some of the Best American anthologies for every year. I'm going back to 2000 with Poetry (maybe eventually all the way back to the '80s) and back to 2020 with Short Stories, Essays, Food Writing, Travel Writing (which unfortunately folded after 2021), and Science Fiction and Fantasy. I have a lot of catching up to do! I have read several of the Poetry volumes, but I want to own and read all of them, or at least twenty-three years of them. Each anthology has a series editor and an annual guest editor. Ann Patchett edited one of the Best American Short Stories! These anthologies are the best way to learn about contemporary poetry and discover new poets. That's how I discovered Amy Gerstler!
• Contemporary poetry. I want to learn more about contemporary poetry by reading as much of it as I can. Reading BAP will help. I also want to read as many Pitt Poetry Series books as I can. I recently discovered the Everyman's Library Pocket Poets, little anthologies of poems, sometimes by single poets but often by a variety of poets across time writing on a particualr subject. Josh has given me three of these. I'm almost done with Fairy Poems, and I'm eager to read Art and Artists poems and Books and Libraries poems. I have a lot more of the books on my wish list. I plan to read a book of poetry for every day of April and October each year. I did that this October and managed to whittle down my stacks of poetry.
• Libraries. Libraries are remarkable. I'm using Libby now to read as many E-books and audio books as I can. I currently have overdue books from the physical library, but once I finish and return those, I'm going to get back to reading all the poetry at my local branch and to borrowing books from all over the state thrioug the inter-library loan program! I'm also just curiosu about libraries in general, public, private, and personal. I'm currently reading a book called At Home with Books, which is about notable personal libraries. I love reading books like that; I've read others, and I plan to read more!

Stillness & Attention: Week 16.

Day 1: I sent nine poems to a journal that will likely take several months to get back to me. I have 100 poems under consideration. I finished Cathy Smith Bowers's A Book of Minutes and started her Traveling in Time of Danger. It's strange that she has a Collected Poetry when she is still alive and presumably still writing. When I first saw the book, I was worried. But apparently, she's still teaching in the Queens MFA program.

I'm now in August in my Daily Bible. I'm ready for the New Testament.  

Day 2: I've been to two parks today, and now, I'm tired. I read some of AAT to both boys and some of the Running book to Josh while we sat on a hill more dirt than grass.

I sent out five poems this morning, somewhat comical ones, all from my chapbook The Queen, the City. I received two rejections in the last two days, both a little disappointing--one because my work has appeared there before and the other because it was for a themed call and I thought what I sent fit well. Oh well. Both said I should submit again later, so I'll wait a couple of months and do that. 

I decided to revise my poetry collections even though they're currently under consideration with publishers. I started with Little Droughts and Hurricanes, the much-evolved version of my masters thesis. I cut seven poems that just belong elsewhere. I hope this tightens the manuscript. I'm also thinking about merging one complete chapbook with another chapbook idea. I figure I'll revamp my books once a year as I continue to send them out. Responses typically take several months. I have an idea of where to send LD&H next. I'm going to try to publish more of the poems in the chapbooks before I submit the chapbooks for publication again. I have a lot of work to do. 

I finished Cathy Smith Bowers's Traveling in Time of Danger. I've started reading The Truth about Magic by Atticus for some lighter poetry and visual engagement. I should finish it quickly. I only have about 75 pages left in Snow White and Rose Red. I'll try to finish that tomorrow. But I really need to be focused on The Personal Librarian and The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry, both of which are late. I also need to finish The Paris Library, read a Proust graphic novel (I figured it would be a good introduction to Proust, whom I've never read), and read a story collection called Cities I've Never Lived In. Those three books are due soon. I have some holds coming in next week, so I need to get square with the library. I'm struggling a little with attention. 

Meanwhile, I'm three and a half months into my NoBuy year. What I want most right now is a set of The Phantom of the Opera prints by Annie Stegg. I also want her one of her books and some of her other prints. She's a new favorite artist. But I'll get something of hers for Christmas or next year. In the meantime, I'll keep looking at her beautiful paintings online.

Day 3: I'm writing with a Pentel Krazy Pop Electric Watermelon pen, dark green with red glitter. 

I finished editing an old story (one I like) and sent it to a speculative journal. If it gets rejected, I may ask the editor of the magazine I read for to help me figure out revision. He looks at one story a month for staff members. This story was shortlisted (meaning it got through the first round of reading though not the final round) for another magazine, so it must have some merit. It has one great scary moment that I need to extend somehow. 

Day 4: I'm writing with a Krazy Pop Cotton Candy Bliss pen, pink with blue glitter.

I sent six poems to a magazine today; it's a magazine that Duotrope doesn't list, so I'll have to rely on my handwritten records. We went to the park for a while. It was sunny and windy. I read more of Running to Josh; we only have about 35 pages left.

Day 5: I finished Fate by Ai this morning: rough but good poems. I'll read more of Ai's books, whatever I can get through the library. I've started a check-out list on the library's website, and I can easily place holds from that list. I have a lot of poetry in transit! Now, I just need to finish as many books as I can and return them. I have five books ready to go back. One of them is the Proust graphic novel, which Josh said he might read. I'm starting A Fortune for Your Disaster, poems by Hanif Abdurraqib.

I sent a piece of flash fiction to a magazine. This story almost made it into another magazine many years ago. I remember the editor's sending me the longest, most encouraging rejection I've ever received. I submitted work to him three more times, and that fourth time, he published the story! I've actually only published two stories. I'm much more experienced (and well-read) as a poet than as a short fiction writer.

Day 6: Today was a mess. Actually, it went pretty well under the circumstances. Josh has had a sore throat for a couple of days, and I my throat started hurting last night. I figured we must have strep. Josh went to urgent care in the morning and tested positive for strep. When he got back, I went to urgent care. My test was negative, but the doctor saw patches in my throat and prescribed antibiotics anyway. I'm pretty sure I have strep. 

When I got back, we took Oliver to the doctor. Oliver can't tell us if his throat hurts, but he hasn't shown any signs of being sick. His strep test was negative. So we'll just watch him. Josh and I are on amoxicillin and 24-hour Sudafed, but we still feel pretty rough. I suddenly realized that I couldn't smell anything--not a scented candle, not a Wallflower, not my shampoo. Then, my sense of taste went too. We did two kinds of at-home rapid tests, both negative. If I test negative again tomorrow, we may need to find a testing site to do a PCR. Do those still exist? Everyone is acting like the pandemic is over. I didn't do much reading or send a submission today. I did start A Fortune for Your Disaster, poems by Hanif Abdurraqib.

Day 7: We had a home inspection today, which was stressful. Just acting well was hard (we did tell the person that we were sick before she came, and I wore my N95). But our house looks great, and we are tired. I'm not even looking forward to going to bed because I don't think I'll feel better. I feel like I have a sinus infection--all that pressure in my face. 

Luckily, Oliver has been in a good and chill mood. I've done a ton of laundry, and our beds are fresh. Again, I haven't been able to read or do writing work. I sent five extra submissions last week, so I'm still ahead. I'm giving up on some library books that need to go back. I also have some books waiting at the library, including a YA fantasy and some Sharon Olds poetry. I'm worried that being sick will make me lose all my momentum. But I just have to give myself grace. A hot bubble bath sounds good. I already miss the taste of Dr. Pepper.

Stillness & Attention: Week 7.

Day 1: I haven't felt well today, and my mood has been anxious. I did take a much-needed, soothing bubble bath, using up my Winterberry Wonder gel. I also lay down and read Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears while Josh took Oliver to the park. While there, Oliver greeted a boy he recognized from ABA and even responded to a fist bump. He also said bye without prompting. Maybe he's growing socially. 

I did write a poem today: "Cleaning," which may become part of the collection of poems I'm writing about raising Oliver.

Day 2: I had a hard time going to sleep last night, but I did read more. So far, my favorite story in the book is "The Beast" by Tanith Lee--kind of a mix of Beauty and the Beast and Bluebeard. It's always fun to read Joyce Carol Oates stories in anthologies like this. She does it all. I read her journals years ago as research for the seminar I taught during my MFA graduating residency. Her stories are much darker than the thoughts she records! I'd like to read more journals. I've always meant to read May Sarton's journals. The best book I've read about journaling is The Hidden Writer by Alexandra Johnson. I should read it again.

This morning, I'm looking at the art of Christian Schloe. I have a couple of her prints; I'd have more if I had wall space! She's my newest favorite artist. Other favorites are Kinuko Y. Craft, Amy Brown, Mary Blair, Stephen Mackey, Molly Harrison, and SARK. And I do still love Lisa Frank.

I've read fourteen books this year. I'd like to be further along, but it's okay; I'm still three books ahead of schedule according to Goodreads. This is my seventh week without spending frivolous money. This week, Josh and I will celebrate Valentine's Day and our fifteenth wedding anniversary. One of his classes won't meet on Monday (Valentine's), so we may get to spend the whole school day together. We'll spend the morning of our anniversary together too. I've given him a couple of presents, including a map-drawing activity set and a doodle book by the Strange Planet artist. Josh showed me some of his drawings this morning. He's another of my favorite artists. 

Today, I finished reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet to the boys. I started reading Many Waters but switched to Peter Pan and Wendy, which I want to read before my winter children's lit focus ends.

Day 3: Valentine's Day. Josh and I don't usually celebrate the holiday since our wedding anniversary is just a couple of days later. But this year, Josh took part of the day off so we could spend time together while Oliver was at school. Josh also gave me the beautiful BENU Wild Rose fountain pen (and some sparkly pink ink)!

The pen is matte light pink and translucent hot pink with fine gold glitter, gold glitter leaf, and red glitter hearts. It's the prettiest pen I have.

Sparkling ink doesn't work out in most fountain pens, so I gave my new pen a Levenger ink cartridge: Shiraz, a burgundy ink that Levenger no longer makes.

I also received a special package today from one of my closest childhood friends, Leah. She sent Prisma Color pencils and a bunch of pens from my NoBuy2022 list! Gifts that support my writing are especially meaningful to me. A friend from Borders also sent me some pens a couple of months ago to get me started on writing through this NoBuy year. 

In case you're wondering, these are Prisma Color Scholar pencils (a less expensive version), Pentel Krazy Pops, Crayola Take Note iridescents, Gelly Roll Stardusts, and Whaline Outliners. 

Day 4: Today was not a good day. I hope tomorrow is better. It looks like Oliver will not get aid for next year, so we'll have to make some difficult decisions. Apparently we were supposed to have Valentines for the whole school yesterday, but I never received the E-mail about it. I've been missing weekly E-mails. It seems to be a big deal (we got shamed this morning), so I wrote an apology to the principal and Oliver's teacher. I'll be making late Valentines tomorrow. I also got busted for the way I pick up Oliver, so I just can't do anything right. After two weeks of E-mailing NCSEAA and an afternoon on the phone with three different people, I'm no closer to getting Oliver financial aid for next year. 

I did finally finish and return Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears. I found some new authors to read, and I may read more of the anthology series (this is book 3). I started Daphne du Maurier's The Loving Spirit, but I haven't gotten far. Stories for the magazine are coming in quickly; I read three today, and I still have three left. I took a peach marshmallow bubble bath.

Day 5: Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. Josh picked up a cinnamon roll and a Dr. Pepper from McDonalds. He gave me a blue rhinestone and faux pearl lock and key necklace. For lunch, I made whole wheat pasta with asparagus, sweet peppers, and Alfredo sauce.

I made the Valentines--I cut out and wrote on 36 cardstock hearts, helped Oliver stamp his name on each, and attached Starbursts. I also wrote to Oliver's teachers, and Josh picked up Starbucks gift cards. And I ordered some items on the teacher's classroom wish list. And I picked Oliver up correctly today. But I have a feeling it's not adequate. Josh says I get fatalistic when I'm overwrought. I received no response to my apology. I'm not in a much better mood than I was yesterday; this is likely to be depressed day #2. I wish I felt better on this special day. 

Also, my TWSBI stub nib clogged with Electric Pink ink, so I had to drain and flush it. All the other Diamine inks have been fine; I don't know what's different about this one. Now, I'm trying Pink Glitz ink.

After two more calls to NCSEAA, I may have gotten the help I need. We'll see if he's awarded. 

I have those three magazine stories to read today, so I'm not going to get far with my other books. It's 4:14 p.m., and I'm ready to go to bed. I won't have time with Josh tomorrow. 

Day 6: I got some early morning cuddles with Josh before Oliver woke up, so the day started well. I read two more magazine stories last night, and I have two left to read today. 

I've been writing with a Crayola Take Note teal-with-blue-glitter pen (from Leah) and a green/blue glitter Sparkle Pop pen. I drained them both. I finally caught up with the magazine stories! That's always a good feeling. Today has turned out to be hopeful. I've read a chunk of The Daily Mirror and the first chapter of Locke & Key 4.

I figured out that the school entered my E-mail address with a typo, so somebody got those letters, but I didn't. I gave them my simpler address. I hope the word spreads. Oliver has great freckles, but everyone knows that.

Day 7: Today, I've already drained a Crayola Take Note iridescent pen--hot pink with light pink glitter--from the package Leah sent me. 

Now, I'm writing with a Gelly Roll Stardust Rose Star pen. I've been cleaning, something that I don't do as often as I should (Josh is more attached to neatness than I am). I finished listening to the London cast album of the musical Amelie while I cleaned the bathroom. Now, I have laundry going, and I'm making some semblance of order with my chair/ottoman nest--books, pens, magazines, notebooks.... I repurposed a rubbery blue bucket as a catch-all for Oliver's school supplies: crayons, markers, daubers, scissors, glue, pencils, and name stamp. Now, everything is put away in a cabinet but will be easy to take out for virtual weeks.

I think I may be on the way up. I was cleaning a door earlier, which usually only happens when I'm manic. But it's a happy up so far--not an anxious or irritable up. I hope it will stay that way. Sometimes, I get manic when I have something coming up, like a challenge or a social event. It's like my brain is trying to prepare and strengthen me...it just doesn't always work out well. But mania has allowed me to do a lot of great things that I might never have done otherwise. I remember writing a proposal for a science fiction class while in the white heat of mania. My medications really keep it in check most of the time, but I definitely still have mood cycles. 

I wrote a poem today! It's called "My Glinda," and it's for Bruce. As I'm reading David Lehman, I want to write more poems that are contemporary and specific with allusions. I wish I could write poems about New York City as he does. I'd have to spend some more time there, which I do hope I'll be able to do. If I had unlimited funds, I'd certainly want to live there for a year. I'd go to the theatre weekly instead of monthly (and monthly still feels pretty amazing). I did write in a slim Paperblanks journal while I was there. I'll always cherish the memories of that trip, which my parents and stepparents made possible. And of course, Josh was my perfect traveling companion. 

I told Josh that my wallet was starting to fall apart after several years, so he ordered me a new wallet! It came today, and it's perfect!

Theatre! Cats! This is from Vendula London. Josh transferred the little key charm that he's put on each of my wallets. It came from a wallet my mom gave me a couple of decades ago. I've gotten so many presents this week! I'm currently working on my mom's birthday present for next month.

I just wrote another poem called "Sheen." David Lehman includes so many specific people, songs, streets, and more in his poems, so I played with that.

We ordered Carrabbas for dinner, with enough leftover for tomorrow. We're celebrating a special week, and I'm in my best mood. I had a chicken Caesar salad--their Caesars are so good. Josh had spaghetti and Italian salad. We had to save most of the bread for later. Oliver was not interested; he prefers Pizza CheezIts and bananafers (vanilla wafers). We stopped fighting him on food once he was out of a belted booster seat at the table. It's no longer easy to trap him with pre-selected food in front of him. Discipline is different when your child doesn't really understand cause and consequence.

I did finish The Daily Mirror! And I wrote yet another poem, this one called "Vacation." I'm pretty close to being caught up now on writing daily poems. I'm going to call this day joyful. It could also be passionate, but joyful is rarer. 

My Favorite Artists.

K. Y. Craft: The first journal I completed had Craft artwork on the cover. I think the journal was a gift from my parents. The image drew me in and encouraged me to write. Later, I found books she's illustrated: lovely Cinderella, stunning Sleeping Beauty, and magical Twelve Dancing Princesses, plus more that I don't own. Her work is intricate and luminous.

Bella Pillar: I first discovered her through greeting cards by Papyrus. With spindly limbs and huge eyes, her fashionable, glitter-enhanced girls are unforgettable. I've been lucky to find a couple of journals with her art. I'd love a book!

Tasha Tudor: She is certainly the sweetest of illustrators. So much darling detail! I found her first as the illustrator for A Little Princess and Secret Garden and as the creator of the delightful A is for Annabelle. Those images have been imprinted on me since childhood. Mom and I have been collecting Tudor's other books too.

Ruth Sanderson: I happened upon her illustrated Cinderella. Lovely. Apparently, she also has a Twelve Dancing Princesses I don't own!

Mary Engelbreit: I think I discovered ME because my grandmother had a magnet with ME's art. I think Nanna also introduced me to Home Companion, ME's magazine at the time. I've also bought cards, notepads, and notebooks at Michael's. And we now have our own ME magnets on the fridge.

Maxine Gadd: I discovered Gadd when, about 13 years ago, I saw her Elf Queen print in a shop in Paris. That picture had hung over my bed ever since. Now, I have a book of her art.

Susan Branch: I found SB though stickers and little illustrated gift books. She has gorgeous handwriting and loves sharing quotations and song lyrics along with her tiny watercolors. She also now has three illustrated memoirs; I devoured them.

Josephine Wall: This artist is incredible. I'm not sure how I found her (maybe at the Dancing Moon shop in Boone, NC), but I now have a book of her art and a few journals with her art. I even have one with golden seahorses on the spine! Her work is so detailed, so intricate and colorful. Tiny scenes happen within the overarching image. Her work seems so attentive and alive.

Amy Brown: I discovered her work at a gift shop in Astoria when I was a teenager. I immediately bought two prints. I was astounded by this fairy artist who also creates mermaids and dragons. She is so prolific! Her watercolor wings are gorgeous. On our first Christmas together, Josh gave me a book of her art.

Cicely Mary Barker: I believe my grandparents gave me a book of her fairy art and poems, and I was hooked forever. Barker hooked me on fairies. The fuchsia and willow fairies have always been my favorites. I really feel that I would be a different person without those fairies. I even have rubber stamps and miniature books. I've always assigned fairies to myself or other people. Right now, I think I'm the Rose Hip Fairy.