An Enchanted Trip.

 Today is Christmas, but most of my celebration took place earlier this week. Back in June, my dad mentioned the idea of taking my family to Disney World. I haven't been to Disney since my honeymoon almost fifteen years ago. But it would be a lot for my son, Oliver, to handle. It didn't seem practical. So my dad had another idea: going to New York City right before Christmas.

I've been obsessed with Broadway shows since I was eight years old (when I discovered Phantom). I now have season tickets to Durham Performing Arts Center, and my best friend, Bruce, and I go to seven or eight shows a year. With that and some one-time events, we've seen about fifty shows together. The magic never fades. We have wonderful seats: front row balcony. We've even seen Phantom together from the front row orchestra. 

But I'd never been to New York City. I had the trip on my Thirty before Thirty list, but when it didn't happen, the idea of going to the New York became more of a fantasy. Our son's special needs make childcare difficult, and his education and treatments are expensive. So between childcare issues and financial difficulties, I didn't think I'd ever make it to New York. 

Over six months, the plan grew. Dad got plane tickets, reserved two rooms at a hotel in the theatre district, and found tickets to FIVE shows for a three-night trip. And my mother and stepfather agreed to keep Oliver at their house for those three nights. I thought about it every day. As it became clear that the pandemic was not fading, I started to think that the trip might not happen. I tried to make peace with that. But I was still mentally packing my clothes and imagining the shows. 

This week, it actually happened. On Sunday, my mom and stepdad came to spend the night. I had our suitcase open in the study. Josh planned to keep to his running schedule, so he had to bring a lot of clothes. I decided to dress up but still wear New Balances every day as I knew I'd be walking a lot. On Monday morning, I finished packing for Oliver, and we zipped up our suitcase. The idea of long-term parking had stressed me out, so my dad and stepmom had offered to pick us up at our house. This was a relief.

Oliver is ten, but he's about four developmentally. However, his language comprehension has bloomed in the last few months. So I told him, "Today, Mama and Daddy are going to go on a trip, and you're going to go to Marmee and Papa's house." He didn't answer, but he seemed to listen. When Dad and Michelle arrived, I reminded Oliver about what was happening. I hugged and kissed him, reminding myself that though we'd never been nearly so far away from him, he wouldn't be aware of the distance. He seemed calm, so Josh and I left the house. Mom and Shane would pack up and take Oliver back to their house. We'd considered their keeping him at our house, but I thought he would miss us too much. He sees going to Marmee and Papa's house as a treat. I texted my mom to ask how Oliver was; she said he was smiling when she buckled him into the car. I'm so grateful that he seemed to understand what I said.

We drove from Fayetteville to Raleigh, checked in, and checked our bag. I was wearing a dark green, silver-flecked tank, jeans, and my Ariel jacket. Josh carried my backpack (containing a change of clothes, toiletries, makeup, prescriptions, a book, a magazine, and my blanket), and we went to the gate. Josh bought us bagel sandwiches with herby cream cheese. Dad and Michelle gave us their first-class tickets. I think I had only flown first class once or twice (I flew frequently as a child). Josh and I were in adjacent rows. Whenever I glanced back at him, he was looking out the window or charting our progress on a map. I drank Sprite out of an actual glass while my neighbor drank rum and Coke. I read some of The Cabin, a YA thriller I'd begun (by the way, I guessed who the murderer was). 

La Guardia airport was packed and huge. Dad texted us to meet him at baggage claim. It was quite a walk, and the signs were a little confusing. I was a bit stressed. But we quickly got our bag. Michelle, Josh, and I waited while Dad figured out the taxi situation. The traffic was major, and I caught bits of the skyline, feeling light and elated. We arrived at The Quin Central Park, one of the fanciest hotels I've visited (again, I stayed in a lot of hotels as a child). Two huge Christmas trees with golden decorations adorned the small lobby. We got our room keys and went to our separate rooms. Josh and I had a while to relax, and I changed into pinstriped pants and a blue sweater, along with a silver and blue bow necklace and the earrings Josh had just given me: miniature Dear Evan Hansen Playbills. 

We had reservations at Bar Centrale, but it had closed due to COVID. So we went across the street to Rue 57, a lovely restaurant with dark wood and red Christmas decor. I had an excellent Shirley Temple. I usually have a resting witch face, but I could feel a constant smile. Here I am. Dad and Michelle encouraged me to try the Dover sole, which I'd never had and which is only available in certain cities. The fish was thin and light with a lemony crust, and I savored the grilled asparagus. Josh had truffle pasta, of which I had two delicious bites that made me rethink my attitude about mushrooms. I was excited that he'd found a good vegetarian option that wasn't a salad. 

Dad and Michelle walked us to the Gershwin theatre, where we would see Wicked. Bruce and I went to the show a few years ago in Charlotte, and I was happy to see it again. My dad walks so quickly, and I was vividly aware of how out-of-shape I am and of old Irish Step Dancing injuries. But we made it and got hand stamps after showing our IDs and vaccination cards. Dad and Michelle left (they had come more for the food than the shows), and we climbed a huge parted staircase. I got in line at the merch table and bought a souvenir program. Programs were among my favorite possessions when I was a child; my grandparents gave them to me, and my dad bought them for me at shows. I looked at them often. 

The theatre was so small compared to DPAC, more intimate than grand. We were on the right side in the third row. People rushed in with coats and scarfs and so many shopping bags. I wrote a few lines in green in my journal (a Paperblanks Slim that fit in my Cinderella purse), and we took a masked selfie. Wicked was a different show from so close. The monkeys were freaky as heck, the steaming metal dragon was right above me, and I could see all the details on the costumes. The great and powerful Oz head was alarming too. Our cast was impressive. Josh had reminded me that we listened to Wicked quite a bit after I first saw it, back when Oliver didn't mind music at home. I enjoyed the show even more than I expected, feeling that it was worth the trip on its own. I thought about the lives of the actors and of the difference between performing in the same theatre every night and traveling to a different city every week. I'd love to read a memoir about touring. I don't know if one exists. 

We walked back to our hotel at a moderate pace. I was surprised to feel too warm instead of too cold. I had a crown brooch with purple and pink rhinestones and roses on my lavender coat--I bought the brooch when I found out about the trip. We stopped at the equivalent of Walgreens for soda and water. We got to The Quin after 10:00, and Dad was waiting for us in the lounge, which had two grouped seating areas, gold bauble wreaths, and shelves of coffee-table art and fashion books. I could have spent a lot of time in that room. Dad had a huge bottle of Fiji water, which I have to admit is pretty good. I drink tons of water (about 3.5 liters that night). 

We slept well in a king-sized bed. Josh woke early to go run in Central Park. I drank Dr. Pepper in bed. Josh came back, and we got ready slowly. I wore Tiffany blue pinstriped pants and a sparkly silver sweater with a hematite bow necklace. We saw Dad downstairs before we walked toward Central Park. We stopped at a Starbucks, and I got an iced (I don't usually like hot drinks) peppermint mocha and a little breakfast sandwich. I enjoyed that in a rustic gazebo in Central Park. I liked passing the horse-drawn carriages and the ice rink but didn't care about trying either. We saw chonky, aging squirrels and walked on a packed-earth nature trail that had skyline overlooks. We marveled at the tallest residential building in the country...and at the incredible floor plans that Josh looked up (I love floor plans)--his and her baths, a library! 

We met up with Dad and walked to Bryant Park, where I wanted to visit the Japanese bookstore Kinokuniya. It had three levels and a lot of manga. Josh took a photo of me sitting on the floor, sifting through the journals. I love buying journals when I travel. I write in the back cover where and when I got each journal. I found a Peter Pauper Press (my favorite) journal I'd never seen, which surprised me. I looked at pens and stationery downstairs. 

After we left Kinokuniya, Dad walked us to the largest Sephora in the US. It was huge and bustling. I looked at everything and chose a little 2022 makeup (sparkly eye shadow and red lip balm). On our way back to the hotel, Josh put in a DoorDash order with a Greek restaurant. Soon after we got to the hotel, our pitzas arrived. Mine had chicken and spinach. They were delicious. We put the leftovers in our little fridge. We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing. Our Rockettes Christmas show had been canceled. I didn't mind the quiet time. I scribbled and read and snuggled with Josh. The pitza was good cold for dinner. 

We walked to the Majestic theatre via Times Square. The huge screens and hectic lights reminded me so much of experiencing mania. I didn't look too long. The Majestic had so many giant photos from Phantom. We got inside the tiny place and bought a souvenir program and a black jacket with a mask on it. The seats were rose velvet. I saw gold curtains and small(ish) chandeliers above the balcony. A little girl, maybe seven years old, sat with her mother next to Josh. I was once that little girl!

The massive chandelier rose almost directly above our seats in the third row center. Our Christine was very petite and adorable. How did that voice come out of that tiny person? And Raoul was tall. The scenes with the managers are always fun. Phantom switched to a new production design some years ago, which I saw three times with Bruce. Now, it's back to the classic design, including the grand golden staircase for "Masquerade." The little girl next to us was rapt and sometimes stood up to watch. Phantom is creepy, violent, and highly suggestive, but a lot of that went over my head when I was a kid and largely until I was watching the show next to a little girl. I felt grateful that my parents had allowed me to see the show. And here I was, watching it on Broadway! 

We got back to our room after 10:00 (very late for us) and quickly went to sleep after I took a hot shower since the room didn't have a bathtub. The next morning, Josh went down to the hotel gym. Again, I stayed in bed drinking Dr. Pepper. I got ready and put on a black sweater with sequins, gray pants, and my silver Phantom necklace (which I bought several years ago). At 9:30, we met Dad and Michelle downstairs, and Dad put the three of us in a car to go to Strand Book Store, which I just had to see. We arrived just before the doors opened. Apparently, the store carries about 18 miles of new and used books and a great many Strand-branded gifts. I had my phone out, checking my library's catalog for books that caught my attention, placing future holds (I'm booked through April). The Strand tote bags were awesome, but I have a lot of tote bags. I found the best souvenir though: a Denik softcover journal with a black and white Victorian drawing of Strand. Perfect. I explored three of the four floors (the rare books were closed off), checking the fairy tales and looking at glass jars full of pens and markers around the stairs. 

We were there for about an hour. We didn't have a lot of time before our matinee of To Kill a Mockingbird, so we parted from Michelle and started the long walk back. By sheer serendipity, we came to a Paper Source and looked inside. I wanted to buy Sparkle Pop pens but didn't. We stopped at Starbucks and picked up lunch. Then, we sat in colorful metal chairs in Koreatown. I ate a chicken caprese sandwich cold with sides of grapes, apple slices, cheddar, gouda, and brie. I was hungry. 

We got to the Schubert theatre and sat down in, again, the third row, to the right. I had mostly asked to go to the show because Josh likes the book, and Atticus Finch is one of his favorite literary characters. But I ended up loving it. Our Scout had won a Tony for the role, and Jeff Daniels played Atticus. Bob and Mayella Ewell were downright frightening and pitiful, respectively. I'll get to see the show again at DPAC next year.

We walked back to the hotel. Josh went up to our room, and Dad walked me to the Whitby to have afternoon tea with Michelle. I drank peppermint tea, and the waiter caught onto the need to refill my water glass often. A tiered tray arrived with tiny sandwiches, tarts, miniature cakes, and scones. We ate and talked about everything from alcohol to eye makeup. We stayed for about two hours. We walked back to the hotel without getting lost. I went to the room and settled in with Josh after another shower. I was sore from walking what Josh estimated to be 10-15 miles in a couple of days--very active for me. Josh ordered a veggie burger and pesto pasta salad since I was full from tea. 

The next morning, Josh went to run on the Highline and along the Hudson River. I got ready and wore jeans, a lavender tank top with gold threads, and my Phantom jacket. We went down to the lobby and got in a car with Dad and Michelle. At the airport, Josh found breakfast sandwiches for Michelle and me. Dad and Michelle gave us their first-class seats again, and this time, a nice woman switched with Josh so we could sit together. I held Josh's hand and read The Cabin during the brief flight. 

After Dad drove us back home, Josh and I ate quickly and drove to Rockingham to pick up Oliver. When we arrived, Oliver and I ran to each other, laughing. I picked him up and swung him around. That night, I enjoyed my armchair and heated blanket and took a bubble bath, happy.

On the 9th Floor.

Thanks to my parents and steps for the wonderful getaway we thought of as a belated celebration of our 12-year wedding anniversary. Dad provided the hotel, and Mom provided two nights of childcare.

First of all, I have to note that Oliver handed it all well and only occasionally asked where Mama and Daddy were. And Josh and I did not break down either. We can all be okay for a few days.

Josh totally handled the uptown driving, the check-in, and the parking. We had a suite with a big living space. The decor was mostly hideous, but we didn't mind. We had an interesting 9th-floor view of various buildings. I can't imagine working or living so high. A giant jetted tub was in our bedroom. I got in pretty quickly. The depth was the best part.

We ordered room service, burgers for both of us--his a veggie. We sat on the ugly orange couch.

I had no desire to go anywhere. All I did was pick up ice across the hall.

On Friday morning, I got right in the bath, and Josh brought up some breakfast. I drank apple juice in the tub--bliss. Soon, we went to the (supposedly) heated pool. It was tiny and cold, and I didn't last long. I went to the hot tub, which was mild enough that Josh got in for a while.

Mom sent just a few (perfect) photos and updates. Oliver was clearly having a good time, so we were reassured.

We took various small naps, and I scribbled.

I asked Josh to go back out the Hornets' store and bring back lunch. He returned with a bag of clearance Hornets items--a late Father's Day gift. He brought teriyaki chicken. For dinner, we had room service salads.

We picked up Oliver, who didn't seem to have much of a reaction to our return. We went to a burger place to meet Dad and Michelle. We sat outside in the shade. Oliver was nervous around Buckley, their beagle. But Oliver acted pretty brave and ate chicken tenders. I'm ready to celebrate when he eats pretty much any food.

I gave Michelle a belated gifts (a fine point eyeliner brush and a Stila palette in mostly neutral shades). She seemed happy to try them. She gave me a general gift she'd kept forgetting to give me: a medium-length silver chain with a silver circle with amethyst crystals hanging down; it's my taste!

I think the trip loosened some kind of major tension in my upper body. I'm already excited about the next.

Girls' Trip 2019: Asheville, NC.

I've been to the Biltmore Estate many times with my family, but that was many years ago. When I realized that Josh and Oliver had the same spring break, Mom and I decided to go somewhere, just us.

I managed the drive to Charlotte pretty well. I had not been looking forward to this part of the trip. I drove in a worn blue-gray dress. I wore a pink cardigan. I was excited that the weather was warm enough that I didn't need tights.

Checking into the Village Inn (the less fancy option on the property) went smoothly. We were excited about the window seat. I was a little overwrought, so Mom told me to take a rest while she explored.

We went to a dinner-and-show-style place, Isis. The band was singing Paul Simon and The Beatles. It was pretty good. I drank water deeply from a clean liquor bottle. We left early because I was getting tired--physically, emotionally, and mentally. Mom was clearly looking out for me with her awareness of and patience with me.

I overpacked, but I had what I needed. Warm fleece heart pajamas. Dresses I didn't end up wearing. My Too Faced Glitter Bomb palette. My swimsuit, because who knows? I filled my antique blue train case (from Mom some years ago), which holds jewelry, a pink and gunmetal sparkle makeup bag, medication organizer, and Neutrogena's Clear Face sunscreen. I managed to bring only three pairs of shoes: light blue New Balance trainers, gold glitter slip-ons, and a nearly identical gold-glitter pair but with some heel.

I wore my pajamas to search vending machines for Cherry Coke. The machines kept giving me Coke Zero.

Mom and I went to the fancier Inn and had high tea. We both wore dresses. Mine was lilac with a Queen Anne neckline (which I like best). I ordered a pot of apple strudel as Mom suggested, and with some sugar, it was good! Maybe I'll try tea again. I drank three or four cups. I'd love to like tea.

We walked through the village area. A few small mermaid items, along with a big teal velvet shell-shaped chair, caught my attention, but not like the bag that caught light on a table. Its fellow bags had a similar look but no real appeal. But the one I walked toward was a large satchel-size purse with a removable shoulder strap. The base material was black. The whole bag was covered with shapes (mostly parallelograms) which seemed like dark mermaid scales. The scales were gunmetal gray with wild glitter. The lining was silky plum. I told Mom, "If this bag were $50, I would buy it." It was $92. I left the bag but came back in the evening. Mom said she'd planned to spend a little more on my birthday, and she had a coupon from the hotel--25% off. I got the purse for $37! Incredible. I think I'll use it for a long time, along with some of the other great purses I have. I can fit the usual items plus a book, a journal, and a water bottle!

For dinner on Monday, we had she crab soup, an abundance of mussels for Mom, and an abundance of grilled asparagus for me. That asparagus was so good.

Mom had brought bottled water and tiny bottles of apple juice. We soon learned that the water bottles wouldn't last through the second day.

On Tuesday, we went to the Biltmore. I hadn't been there in some thirteen years. The house was gorgeous as always, and as always, I barely made it up the stone spiral staircase. An exhibit showed mannequins (not scary) in costumes created from period photographs. Mom and I kept choosing and changing our favorites. One cream lace dress was covered with gold polka dots. A servant mannequin held a dress that was black with rose embroidery. Another favorite was an off-the-shoulder, black velvet gown (for a ball?) and a stunning brooch dripping with rubies.

I still want to swim in that pool. But probably not by myself.

We explored the little shops. In the Christmas one, I loved a figure of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, all beautiful and affectionate in a way I've never seen in a nativity scene. It was $50, so I didn't buy it, but I wondered where I could put it. It seems so like a reminder...that Jesus brought and was love and joy? That Mary and Joseph loved each other even after so much hardship. I think I'd like the piece even if I weren't a believer.

Mom kept buying water bottles. I drank them and refilled them with tap water. My thirst is almost like another entity in my life.

We went to The Lobster Trap for our last dinner. We split a giant Caesar salad and each ordered the Alaskan King Crab with potatoes and corn on the cob. It was pretty much perfect.

Back at the hotel, I wanted to read or write, but I was so sleepy. We watched some of October Sky.

On Wednesday morning, Mom trimmed my hair. The ends look much better now.

We went to a sort of petting zoo area that Mom had found. We saw two little brown goats named Cinder and Ella. Of course.

As we left the property, we decided to stop at a little gift shop. I saw many lovely objects. But I saw a silver, slim rectangular pair of earrings that sparkled blue, pink, and lavender. I bought them and wore them two days in a row.

The ride back to Charlotte was smooth and quick...probably because I would keep my mouth shut. The trip to Fayetteville wasn't fun, but I was glad to be home. Apparently, the boys didn't miss me much...so I can go on these trips! Big thanks to all the menfolk who encouraged us to go.

Every time I wear the earrings or go out with the purse, I think about our wonderful days and evenings in Asheville.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 15.

I had mood swings this past week, and holding onto relative stability has been a challenge. For a day or two, getting out of bed was a struggle. I'd lie still with the tower fan blowing on me. Existing seemed to be all I could do.

I was feeling bad on Sunday night, and Josh told me to go for a walk. I didn't want to, but I got my headphones and went. I did feel somewhat better afterward.

But the week had joy too. I told Josh that I thought we should try to be more affectionate because it's good for us and probably good for Oliver. So Josh and I have stayed closer to each other, kissing and hugging more. I start to crave more of that contact.

Bruce and I continued reading Dear Evan Hansen. It's held my attention more than most books lately. I'll be sad when it's over. But I still have a big book about the show to read.

My dearest friend, Keely, sent me a gorgeous card with a pop-up castle inside. She wrote that I was inspiring and that my blog made her believe in magic as an adult. I treasure those words. I'd keep the blog going even if it were just for her.

Next week, the boys have spring break. Mom and I decided (with our guys' support) that we would go on a girls' trip! So on Sunday, I'll drive to Charlotte (by myself...), and we'll go to Asheville. I made hotel reservations, and I'm so excited. This drive will be a challenge, and I'll miss my boys. But the trip will nourish me--beauty, charm, conversation, discovery. The weather is going to be warm enough that I won't have to wear tights with my dresses.

Most nourishing experiences seem to require me to overcome a challenge. I've only been away from Oliver once for one night. Three nights will be tough. But I still think the trip will be wonderful.

Restoration: Week 47.

This past week, I read only a little poetry. But I read many tiny stories. They seem to patch me up somehow. I don't know if I could really writer that way. I do have lists of story ideas and first lines. Perhaps some tiny stories wait among those.

We spend two nights in Charlotte with Mom and Shane. Thanksgiving lunch was delicious. I probably had three slices of pumpkin pie while we were there. We love to eat pie for breakfast. It's a restorative joy.

James and I talked a great deal about movies. Mom asked about our favorites, telling James, "Your sister thinks questions are love." Yes!

Shane drove Mom and me all around on Friday. We went to Cheap Joe's Art Stuff, a place that plants me firmly in the concrete but also makes me feel like I'm floating. I chose 20 dark metallic and glitter Gelly Roll pens (my perennial favorite) for my upcoming journals. We stopped at a yarn shop for Mom (we all need our tools) and a mini bundt cake bakery for Shane (my carrot cake bundt lasted two days). I mentioned Paper Source, and there we were! I love the atmosphere and merchandising. It makes me think that some creativity is about to bubble out of me. The rubber stamps were lovely: a trees with star-like leaves, You Are Magical, and a cluster of snowflakes. It was a restorative day, soaking up beauty and potential beauty.

We had dinner snacks (my favorite! Salami, cheese, and this time, Mom's crab dip!) on Friday night. I drank soda, jumping off the one-soda-a-week wagon temporarily. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I finished a journal on Sunday. Getting ready to start a new journal is a thrill.

The week restored my joy and many of my connections. I'm grateful for that.

Travel Tips.

I don't travel much now, but I traveled a ton as a child. I've picked up a few ideas.

• Bring a notebook. Having a notebook is important for the greatest and the smallest trips. It can be a journal (or a specific travel journal), but it doesn't have to be. You're going to encounter many shops, places, ideas, and objects you'll want to revisit. Write them down--otherwise, you'll get too overloaded to remember.
• Bring your onw large water bottle to take everywhere. Bring two if you can wash one and use the other.
• Buy a fold-up cosmetic bag that will hang from a hook or a towel rack.
• Buy all the travel-sized items you'll need. You probably already have samples like toothpaste, lotion, face wash, and shampoo and condition. Buy fold-up toothbrushes and hair brushes. Always have your bag ready to go without having to remember (and return) your everyday items.
• Load a makeup bag. Half-used foundation, a brush kit, a small eyeshadow palette...again, make it ready-to-go.
• Bring a good, high-quality magazine such as Darling and Bella Grace. These will be good when you're stuck waiting but don't feel like a terminal news shop magazine. But of course, go ahead and read those too, and bring at least one book.

How I Want to Travel.

I recently had the great idea that Mom and I should go to Paris someday, just us. She would be braver and more informed than I. We could skip this and spend forever on that. She said she couldn't go until my stepdad Shane got to go. I wish Paris trips were unlimited! We could all go together too, and the traveling companions would make each trip different.

I got to go see Phantom twice in one year. Shows can feel like traveling. I used to be kind of obsessed with time travel.

I'd like to do a road trip of sorts...focused on bookstores (chain and independent) and aquariums. I would buy at least one book in each state, and I would scribble or even write stories in every aquarium. I don't know who would want to join that. Maybe Josh would.

I used to enjoy packing. Now, it's stressful, but I used to love selecting what I'd have with me on a plan or in a hotel room. I had to have a notebook. That's still true.

Packing for a Three-Month Stay in Martha's Vineyard.

I'm reading about Susan Branch (one of my favorite artists) doing this when her life was a mess. I thought, "How can you pack for that?" I know I'd miss all my books, my filled journals, even some furniture.

I'd bring

• Several books and hope to find more at a library or little bookshop.
• My current journal and 4 or 5 blank ones. 
• My favorite movies and favorite background movies that don't require my attention.
• My laptop--hopefully for writing books or stories.
• My coziest fleece lounge wear. 
• A couple of dresses and my gold sparkle heels just in case.
• Comfortable clothes.
• Necklaces--I enjoy wearing them even when I'm alone.
• Illustrated fairy tale books to soothe me.

I'd have to ship some of this!

How I Want to Travel.

I recently had the great idea that Mom and I should go to Paris someday--just us. She would be braver and more informed than I. We could skip this and spend forever on that. I wish Paris trips were not limited.

I got to see Phantom twice in one year! Shows can feel a lot like traveling.

I used to be kind of obsessed with the idea of time travel.

I'd like to do a road trip of sorts...focused on bookstores (chain and independent) and aquariums. I would buy at least one book in each state, and I would scribble or even write stories in each aquarium. I don't know who would want to join that. But maybe Josh would. Maybe we'll feel more like active best friends again when Oliver goes to college (or not). That's a long way off, but it kind of doesn't feel that way.

I used to enjoy packing. I loved selecting what I'd have with me on a plane or in a hotel room. Even when I was quite young, I had to have a notebook. That's still true.

Final Travels.

On Thursday night, Josh helped me paint my nails. I wonder if we'll do that again before our darling arrives. We used Nicole Light a Candle (is it purple? Is it silver?), which reminds me of Gelly Roll Lightning (now Silver Shadow) pens and Sephora by OPI It's Bouquet by Me (purple microglitter). Pretty nails are a nice surprise every time I look down, even if the surrounding fingers and toes are puffy and red.

I had a short day on Friday, but I was so eager to finish it. The sky was gloomy with hurricane anticipation, and I was sleepy. When I got home, we finished packing and loading. A little over halfway through our drive, we stopped at Target for a break. I definitely needed to move around (and use the restroom...twice). I also hadn't been to Target in almost two months. You know how Target is. If you haven't been there in a while, it's a magical wonderland where you can spend a good bit of money on big or little treasures. I chose little. The next time I spend any noticeable amount of money will be when Josh and I buy the remaining Oliver essentials, probably this week, after our showers.

I was there first of all to get a birthday card and some little gifts (which my Mom and I would classify as prizes) for my dear friend Melissa, whose birthday was last week. I knew I'd be seeing her at the shower for which Mom had made her decorator extraordinaire. I found a good card with an inspirational quotation ("Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated." --Osho) --we're both fans of those. I found a few pairs of earrings, some adorable pens, and precious (though probably impractical) tiny dry erase marker. I hope she can use the latter items at her new teaching job. Melissa has quite distinctive taste in earrings (large, somewhat tribal), so I hope I got it right. Gifts never seem sufficient to me, but the attempt is fun anyway.

For meeee, I found one pair of earrings, two pairs of flats, and four beautiful headbands (which I'm sure will appear in photos later). I get tired of wearing barrettes everyday during this transitional hair period, but my headbands for close repetition. Now, I have more choices! And referring back to quotations, I love how Target has begun carrying nice (but still inexpensive) journals, and I found two with fantastic quotations. One soft cover green journal with golden fruit has Rilke's "Think of the world you carry within you." I've certainly been thinking about that a lot. The other is a blue and brown floral hardcover with what is probably my favorite quotation about writing: Anais Nin's "We write to taste life twice."

I'm usually a Sephora girl when I buy eye makeup, but I decided to try a couple of other brands. I found Almay's Intense I-Color trio for green eyes in greens and purple...and Sonia Kashuk's eye shadow quad in purple haze--two purples, a brown, and a silver. The colors in the latter set looked so metallic and shimmery that I couldn't resist. I hoped they wouldn't disappoint.

So I was in a good mood when we arrived at Mom and Shane's house. I got to see the rabbits. I'd begun to think I could no longer believe rabbits were real. You have to see these particular tiny rabbits to understand how magical they are...we say they are made of imagination. Oliver has often seemed that way, but we will believe in him too!

We ate quesadillas stuffed with grilled vegetables...many of which I would normally avoid, but my body must need them, and they were good. The slathering of guacamole was good too. I love how thoughtful my mom is about Josh's veggie-headness.

Mom told me that she had recently finished reading Never Let Me Go--which I see as a stunning book. It floored her too! We spent much of the evening discussing it. This culminated in Josh kindly running out to Best Buy to purchase the DVD (which I wanted to own anyway). I liked the movie just as much the second time (and I knew more details because of the book). Mom liked it too, and we had more discussions before bed. Few pleasures are so keen as sharing and discussing beloved books and films with a dear one.

(Image: Never Let Me Go. http://playpretend.tumblr.com/page/3)

To the Coast.

 (Image: http://shiningbluestar.tumblr.com/post/7261833902)

When I got home from work on Thursday, Josh had already gathered up toothbrushes, my body pillow, my blanket (I still sleep with my pink baby blanket), and our camera. I changed into jeans and that cute little bell-shaped lavender shirt with flutter sleeves (not maternity, but it lays just right and will probably be totally cute in a different way post pregnancy). We got in the car and drove, stopping along the way at Taco Bell for the restroom, a soft taco (me), and a mini cheese quesadilla (Josh).

When we arrived, Susan was in Wilmington, shopping for shower supplies with my sister-in-law, Sarah. Greg was on a conference call with people in California who were just starting their afternoon. Bella, the queenly little shih tzu, was lounging on the couch in the home office.

 (Image: http://www.squidoo.com/chilisparadisepierecipe)

We settled in the study with computers and books. Josh is reading a lovely blue, 1920s copy of Revolt of the Angels by Anatole France. It sounds both silly and fascinating, so I may have to read it too. We went to Chili's (the happening spot in Shallotte) for dinner. Josh had the most unhealthy vegetarian appetizer options available and enjoyed them thoroughly. I had fajitas. Oh...the shrimp and guacamole! We shared that heavenly Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie, which really has everything one needs to be briefly happy (a sort of blondie, chocolate, caramel, vanilla ice cream, and walnuts). At about nine, poor Greg was still on the phone, and I was crazy tired. Josh tucked me in. Susan arrived shortly thereafter and came in to say goodnight. I was snuggled up to the purple body pillow and had the hot pink heart-shaped pillow under my head. I'm sure my eyes were crimson with weariness and mild puppy allergies.

The next day, we woke up around nine, and Susan was already hard at work. The kitchen was full of grocery bags. I don't think I've ever seen so many tomatoes in so many sizes. She needed a gallon jug to make tea, so she poured the milk into an antique glass bottle with a wooden cork. We wondered if it would reappear full if we put it on the back porch for the milkman. The cooking went on all day. We smelled seafood seasoning and intoxicating garlic. I later spied blue and white frosted cupcakes behind some pitchers. Because Susan is a vegetarian, Josh got to eat quite well for lunch: a wrap with banana peppers, tomato, cheese, lettuce, ranch dressing, and Chalula and a piece of Quorn chicken. I had a sandwich with microwave-zapped ham, cheese, and Holy Guacamole (I really can't get enough of the stuff these days).

(Image: http://weheartit.com/entry/7583695)

Even though sleeping in general and during the day in particular has been difficult for me, I was excited when Josh said we ought to take a nap. We settled into the guestroom, and I read another chapter of The Secret Garden. We're almost done with it. Later, Josh said, "You're my secret garden."
"What do you mean?"
"I was just a wretched boy before, but you made me well and a father."
That may be the best compliment anyone has ever given me. And I did manage to take a lovely nap. Honestly, I was a rather wretched and contrary girl when we met. Now, I'm less so, and certainly, like Mary, I'm "getting fatter." I think that, in an odd character twist, our son will be like the charmer, Dickon, with cats and little bunnies around him instead of foxes and robins.

(I would like an outfit based on these purple flowers)

We spent the evening on the patio with Greg, who was content with his shih tzu and his Corona. Josh took photos. I think he may have developed a photographer's heart after three years as a high school yearbook adviser. We watched the furry bumblebees and spotted the tiniest, brightest blue baby hummingbird. The bird wasn't as long as my pinkie, and he flew right around our heads and snuggled up in the trumpet-like flowers. I thought about my own thrumming little hummingbird.

The next morning, I awoke excited about being twenty-nine weeks pregnant and being hours away from our baby shower. Greg was outside hosing off the patio, watering plants, and cleaning up the yard with Bella. We went upstairs to go through some boxes of Josh's old stuff. We found some great kid's books, and Josh showed me some of his old toys. He also found stacks of hard copies of his poems, and he was pretty annoyed to discover a handmade Valentine from a high school girlfriend. He let me look at it before he tore it up and threw it away. Sometimes, I wonder what knowing him when we were younger would have been like, but he always says that (despite circumstances) we met at the right time.

We got ready and headed out for a couple of hours, so Susan and Sarah could work on food and decorations. We had sandwiches at Subway (I knew I wouldn't last until the festivities began) and went to B&BW and Belk. B&BW now has mint chocolate candles and hand soap! The chocolate smells like winter, and the mint smells like summer, so I guess it's perfect all the time. We gathered up the hand soap, talking about how it may be a scent Oliver will always remember, whether from our hands or from learning to wash his own. B&BW also has other yummy scents like salty caramel, s'mores, and oatmeal raisin cookie. Like us, the store is excited for autumn. At Belk, Josh found sexy black jeans marked down from $60 to $13. I found two lovely cardigans (I know; it's a sickness) and a comfortable brown dress (from $68 down to $23!). I already had black and gray dresses, so this completes my neutrals. The dress has sleeves, which means I can wear it on its own to work without thinking about coordinating cardigans or jackets. It also has an empire waist, so it fits me now!

I put on red lipstick as Josh texted his mom to see if we could come back to the house. She said yes.

(Image: http://favim.com/image/106664/)

Babymoon.

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We spent our babymoon in Southern Pines, NC at Knollwood House B&B. We stayed in the Hickstead Suite in the carriage house (above). I loved the gorgeous hydrangeas. We saw a lot of them during our stay.

The innkeeper, Joe and Lyndee, were incredibly welcoming and very excited about our baby. I still feel thrilled when people (especially people we don't even know!) are genuinely happy for us. We settled in right away. The king-sized bed was perfect, and the pillows were dreamy.

We'd gone to Harris Teeter to buy fancy "dinner snacks," so we could stay in for our two evenings and save a little money (and energy). We ate pita crackers, tiny rounds of brie, strawberries, summer sausage bites (for me), and amazing HT Traders milk chocolate macadamia cookies.

We were the only ones at the table the next morning despite six place settings. I don't understand why people wouldn't get up for breakfast at a B&B! The special, unique breakfasts are a huge part of the charm. How often is breakfast really such an exciting meal? Of course, after my mother's brunch reception, I'm a bit spoiled.

Lyndee was so nice about Josh being a vegetarian, and she chose dishes that made leaving out meat simple. Joe was vigilant about refilling our little cut crystal glasses with orange juice. First, we had crescents of cantaloupe decorated with half strawberries. I find it interesting that pregnancy seems to make me unusually tolerant of a variety of fruit (orange juice? Cantaloupe??).

The main dish was vanilla cinnamon French toast topped with baked cinnamon apples. I had bacon as well, and it was in that perfect place between soft and crisp. Isn't it wonderful when even breakfast has dessert? We had tiny cut crystal glasses of raspberry sorbet with a bit of whipped cream. I would have taken photos of the breakfasts if it wouldn't have seemed rude!

At lunch time, we went into town and, on Joe's recommendation, sought out Sweet Basil Cafe. It was a tiny place open only for lunch. I wondered what waiting tables at a restaurant that's only open four hours five days a week would be like. We arrived in the middle of the rush but didn't have to wait.

The menu was very vegetarian-friendly but also had plenty of options for picky meat-eaters like me. Josh ordered the Penne Sweet Basil. I had the Grilled Chicken Napa with avocado and bacon on Tuscan bread with fries. Oh, that Tuscan bread was something special. Josh had it with his pasta as well.

We shared a slice of the Featherlight Cheesecake...oh dear. I could have eaten two more slices on my own. It was so light that it was more like cheesecake mousse. If I could do something nice for everyone on earth right now, it would be to give each person a piece of that cake.

We went on a long walk, popping into a couple of shops but mostly pacing through the residential streets. I was worn out by the time we got back to the room for reading, scribbling, and more dinner snacks. We reached page 100 in The Secret Garden!

Our second breakfast was even better than the first, and we had company. The woman in the couple mentioned that her birthday had been the day before. I said, "And mine's today!"

We sat down to grilled pineapple with blueberries, yogurt, and mint (again, these fruits I don't normally like were delicious). The main course was a cherry tomato and asparagus frittata, tender sausage links (politely absent from Josh's plate), and half a not-too-sweet cinnamon roll.

The sorbet, this time blood orange and in tiny rounded goblets, came out with pink birthday candles for me and the other birthday guest. How fun!

Josh and I packed up and went to the Weymouth House to see the little NC Literary Hall of Fame. I hadn't been to an historical house in so long. I went to them all the time as a homeschooling child. Something is very nourishing about them. We saw a horse-drawn carriage, and I told Josh we could try a stint as a family of reenactors.

After touring the house, we walked along the trail and found fountains, lily ponds, and gardens. The carriage rushed by every now and then like a vision of the past.

By then, we were hungry, and we'd like Sweet Basil so much that we went back. We got the last table. Josh had the Hot Vegetarian, an open-faced tomato, avocado, onion, and white cheddar sandwich with basil mayo on Focaccia. I had hot roast beef and brie with honey mustard on Tuscan. I had house greens with balsamic vinaigrette (having decided one round of fries was enough).

We then went in search of something I'd spotted the day before: C Cups Cupcakery. I expected an empty shop, but people were coming in to pick up orders, and a mother and son were having a cupcake date. Isn't something special about soda in glass bottles? Josh had Coke, and I had root beer.

He ordered a key lime cupcake with green sprinkles. I had a carrot cake cupcake with cinnamon cream cheese frosting. We sat at one of the three little tables with pink napkins, bright faux daisies, and little shakers of sprinkles (just in case anyone needs more).

Josh said, "This feels very fancy." I was looking at the little white highchair in the corner, thinking about bringing Oliver here for his first taste of frosting. I can't wait to see his face when he tastes his first cupcake or tiny bit of ice cream. Our babymoon was relaxing and romantic, but we never stopped dreaming about our boy.

Bee & Bees.

My 30 Before 30 list includes staying in two more NC bed and breakfast...es. Really, I'd like it to be more than that, but with limited funds and a sugar monkey on the way, I've got to be realistic. What's so great about B&Bs? They have personality, the breakfasts are invariably unique and amazing, and the houses are destinations in themselves. Josh and I are more cuddlebugs than energetic sightseers. B&Bs know how to be cozy and how to make their guests feel incredibly special.

NC B&Bs seem to be our thing, but we've actually only been to two together so far. That will change next week (and I'll be halfway to checking off that list item!) next week when we celebrate my birthday and have our "babymoon."

Our first B&B experience together was at the Mast Farm Inn in Valle Crucis, North Carolina. We were celebrating, belatedly, our first wedding anniversary. I had been here before with my parents and brother, but The Loom House, a tiny, two-story cottage, was new to me. It had a cozy bed, a wet bar, and a gigantic jet tub. I was reading Ophelia by Lisa Klein at the time. Though it was April or May, snow was falling when we arrived. Josh built a fire, and I filled the tub with bubbles. We had our special travel candle that smells like vanilla cake. Josh looked at old yearbooks that were in the cottage. The next day, a picnic basket we'd ordered arrived with sandwiches and Newman O's. We felt that we could give up most of our material possessions and just live in that little house where we could see the first floor through the cracks in the boards under the bed. If you want a completely relaxing and rejuvenating experience, try going here. (Image: http://www.mastfarminn.com)

Our second experience was last fall to celebrate five years of being us. We'd never been to the little town of Pittsboro, NC, and decided to check it out. We stayed in the Retreat Room at Rosemary House. The pink and deep blue room was romantic and soothing. A rubber duck with three baby duckies lined the jet tub of which I took full advantage. Getting into bed required a bit of a jump. We explored the town, finding amazing little shops I wish I could still name. I bought Christmas gifts (a jewelry dish painted with a plum perfume bottle, a hard-carved honey dipper) and Papaya journals. We ate at a funky organic restaurant that used to be a garage for buses or something. Josh ventured out at night to bring back dessert. We watched Moon on Netflix in bed. The fruit and cream first course at breakfast made even super introverts like us cheerful enough to chatter with the other guests. This is a great, quiet getaway. (Image: http://www.rosemary-bb.com/)

I'll fill you in on all the details of our babymoon destination next week!