The Princesses We Are.

Growing up, I loved forming connections between favorite characters and some of my favorite people. This blend of life and fiction must have helped me stay grounded in a way. I would often cast people in my mind to play characters in a play I would direct (mostly in my imagination but a few times in reality).

My favorite way to do this was to find matches in Cicely Mary Barker fairies. I always looked for myself in those pages, those child fairy faces. My favorites were the Fuchsia Fairy and the Willow Fairy, but I didn't really look like either of until I had black hair in my early twenties. I found others though. My mother was the queenly Wild Rose. My Keely was the gorgeous Harebell. Just recently, I discovered that Michelle, Dad's wife, is the Iris Fairy. Lately, I feel most like the Rosehip Fairy.

My friends and I also took roles in our play version of the Babysitter's Club. I think I was Mary Anne. I loved being the secretary.

And Little Women! Early on, I saw myself as Beth, quiet, shy, fragile. Keely and her sisters and I took these matters quite seriously. After a lot of growing up, I started to identify more with Jo--she loves literature, writing, and theatre. And I wanted to be as bold and unapologetic as she.

Surprisingly, I don't remember casting friends as Disney princesses or any fairy tale role. My favorite fairy tale in The Twelve Dancing Princesses, and my favorite Disney tale is Cinderella. Aside from being a dreamer, I don't have much in common with Cinderella. I'm no great housekeeper, and I would not long to go to a crowded party. I'm more like Belle in looks and personality--literature-obsessed, a bit fiery, and appreciative of tiny parties.

My mom had always loved Aurora best. Mom is kind and loving, a dancer, and unaware of how royal she is. She was born royal.

Which princess are you Can you find bits of loved ones in other princesses?

My Unrealistic Wish List!

• Always-swift reading ability.
• A box of each Sunburst Metallic Gel pen color.
• A sudden ability to play the piano.
• A sudden ability to play the bass guitar (or at least the bass for "Money for Nothing").
• A large collection of all the discontinued Dark Stardust Gelly Roll pens.
• A long visit to English with lots of walking about.
• Perfect pronunciation.
• A night or two alone with Josh in a fancy hotel.
• A week at Disney World with a happy Oliver (and money for souvenirs!).
• Quick travel to visit Melissa.
• All the books on my GoodReads want-to-read list.
• Perfectly painted nails at all times with no action or effort from me.
• Chocolate-covered strawberries always in  my fridge.
• Always having room (and spare calories) for dessert.
• A small collection of 10-inch Cisette Madame Alexander dolls.
• Blue Moon Cafe's chocolate and brie croissant paninis always available.
• Clothes that put themselves away (by color!).
• Regular massages with oils that don't give me a rash.
• Pretty, practical storage for all my jewelry.
• To read a magazine every day and then donate it (unless it's really special, of course).
• Frequent roller skating.
• Never needing to wake up before 7.
• Being in control of when I fall asleep.
• A sugar glider.
• Seahorses...and someone to take care of them.
• A collage in my room of all Bella Pilar's greeting cards.
• Endless Target gift cards.
• Spreadable brie any time (it's often out of stock).
• A sudden appreciation of hot and cold tea.
• Tickets to Phantom  in surrounding cities.
• Precise makeup application with my own flair every time.
• Hair that stays dyed and trimmed.
• Lollia bubble baths.
• That Bruce and I will always live near each other.
• A full-size Sephora in our city.
• A Paper Source in our city.
• A Papyrus in our city.
• Reaching and maintaining my good weight.
• Unlimited funds to buy other people gifts.
• An annual mountain trip with Keely.
• Easy, present storage of my journals.
• Free access to beauty and stationery subscription boxes.
• The return of the faux marble pens I loved in 6th grade.
• The sudden ability to play the clarinet.
• The ability to see a whole room in one color.

Storm Fairies.

--Henry Beston

I read this somewhere, and I love the idea of storm fairies. What do they do? Do they live inside storms? Do they bring storms? Or is the storm a metaphor?

I like the thought of being a storm fairy. Maybe I'd sleep wrapped up in wet, gray clouds. Maybe the thunder would tell me secrets, and the lightning would fall in love with me, illuminating my silver dress and gun metal eyes.

There would be others, but I would tell myself I didn't need them--they wouldn't even do their work properly. They would jump among clouds, causing small downpours where they didn't belong. Really, they should have been flower guardians or something light. Their giggles would distract me.

I would be passionate about the rain. It would be a relief for me.

No beautiful spring boy would catch my attention, even with his rain-sprinkled roses.

Antiques.

When I was younger, maybe around 10, I was wild about antiques. They were beautiful and scarce, and they were often hidden among dusty junk.

Going to antiques stores was a treasure hunt. Mom and I sometimes raced for the tiny, colored glass bottles. I still have a dark purple bottle barely the size of my palm.

Antiques fed my daydream worlds in which I mostly explored periods that I'd learned through American Girl. My favorite antiques were school books. I was thrilled to find names written inside.

I also liked antique suitcases--I could take strange, dress-up journeys. This past Christmas, my mother gave me a beautiful blue train case. Just looking at it makes me feel imaginative.

I once haggled with a store owner for a pair of soft white gloves with buttons. I'm sure a couple of weeks of allowance was no where near the price label, but I left with the gloves.

When we met, Josh told me that he collected antique school books. I thought he must be lying. But it was true, and it was perfect.

For 20 years or so, I loved the thought of mother-of-pearl opera glasses.