The Girl Who Lived.

I’ve heard people say that every day is a gift, but I think about it differently now.

I’ve been sick for nine days. And I’m thinking that it’s a privilege even to be sick. To stay in bed for over a week. To have a partner who brings me whatever I need and keeps things moving. To read a poem to him. To shower and put on cozy clothes.

I feel like something major has changed in my perspective, like I’m not quite the person I was this morning. I have had an awakening. Today and all future days will be different.

Why? Because I’ve been thinking about Harry Potter. I missed out on the books growing up; I read them at B’s request in my late twenties. Harry survived an encounter with an evil sorcerer, an encounter that killed his parents, that scarred him literally and figuratively, that no one should have lived through. Everyone called him The Boy Who Lived.

Fourteen years ago today, I survived risky O’s birth, a scary surgery, and a postpartum illness that easily could have killed me. I lived.

Five years ago next week, I put down bottles of pills and a razor. I got out of the bathtub, woke Josh, and went to the hospital. Despite a global pandemic, despite mental illness, despite impossible circumstances, despite despair, I lived.

I am The Girl Who Lived.

These fourteen years mark time I easily could have missed. Fourteen years to love, to see, to create, to read, to write, to advocate, to see so many brilliant shows, to watch movies and listen to music, to meet my best friend, to write my first novella. I feel like I haven’t done enough, but I have done so much with this extra time!

And I didn’t die in that bathtub, in an ambulance, or in an ER five years ago. I’ve won awards. I’ve completed books. I’ve gotten a book accepted for publication. I’ve visited my favorite city. I’ve read hundreds of books. I’ve discovered Pippi Post and Annie Stegg and Art by Isobelle, artists I adore. I’ve gone to bookshops, discovered Quail Ridge Books in Raleigh and Chapter House Books in Fayetteville and Strand in New York. I’ve gone to my first residency! I’ve taught again. I’ve sent out 150 submissions that never would have seen the light of day. I’ve discovered Shuly Cawood’s workshops and written so many poems. I’ve filled shelves of journals. I’ve cooked amazing meals all by myself—and that’s just recently! I’ve connected more personally with a couple of great people. I’ve started getting the Archer & Olive subscription box, which is one of my favorite things. I’ve found so many favorite things, so many great reasons to be alive. I discovered Pan downtown, a favorite restaurant. I’ve gone on dates and had weekend getaways. I’ve read my poetry to strangers. I’ve smelled candles and tasted Cold Stone Creamery milkshakes. I’ve found the most comfortable pants (Lou & Grey). I’ve gotten a cat! I’ve endured heartbreak and come out more authentic and more tender. I’ve found a new level of love.

I’ve celebrated five more Christmases. I’ve reached almost twenty years with J. I’ve started a fun Instagram. I started a website and a Substack. I’ve moved into a dreamy townhouse and decorated it just as I like. I’ve discovered poets. I’ve discovered Catriona Ward. I’ve seen the seen the Wicked movie! I’ve heard my child laugh so many times and watched him thrive at school. I’ve seen O find peace from his anxiety. I’ve seen Six and added a new cast album to my favorites. I’ve bought a pink glitter lamp—something I’ve wanted for over twenty years! I’ve taken classes with my favorite writer! I’ve found Pipsticks and Violette Stickers. I’ve put lights on my porch for the first time, and I’ve spent so many mornings sitting out there.

I’ve turned forty. I have made love. I have recognized my need for self-love. I have surrounded myself with a Glinda-pink bubble of beauty. I have sparkled. I have lived.

And I will live all ninety-seven days that are left in this year. I will engage. I will learn and love. I will let art enrapture me. I will grow closer to J. I will laugh with B until my stomach and my face hurt. I will say funny things, clever things. I will write poems. I will send writing out into the world. I will, to quote Little Women’s Marmee, embrace my liberty and see what wonderful things come of it.

Beautiful Messes.

 Today, I read an article in Bella Grace (Summer 2022) called "Beautiful Messes." In it, many readers shared times when messes are fun or dear. I decided to make my own list. Josh and I are well matched in most ways, but I'm a messy maximalist while he is a minimalist who needs order. Still, I think he may find some of these messes endearing.

• The huge ink bruises that bloom on the side of my middle finger, on my fingertips, and on my palms from writing with, cleaning, or filling fountain pens.
• Glitter from the little purple Christmas tree spilling on my project table.
• My big makeup bag overflowing with colorful eyeshadow, sparkling highlighters, and glitter mascara.
• An avalanche of new sheet protectors when Oliver is playing.
• The dishes and spilled ingredients in the kitchen after I make a good meal...especially sinxe Josh usually cleans up after I cook.
• Spilled glitter that getrs in rhe carpet and that the vacuum can't quite catch.
• A scattering of fountain pens by the kitchen sink when I'm cleaning them.
• A bin full of magazine photos and ephermera waiting for a collage or the art journal.
• A skidding stack of book I've read recently, bristling with colorful page flags marking all the lines I want to write down in my quotation composition books.
• New stickers spread out and waiting to decorate journnals, especially the ones that come from Pipsticks!
• Josh's little snack bowls and wrappers on various surfaces.
• Starry's hair (and even the claw-pluck marks) on her favorite chair.
• A paper towel covered in ink splotches after I use it to blot my newly-filled pens.
• The scatter of tiny ink bottles from my Inkvent calendar on Josh's desk.
• My closet, stuffed but color coordinated, full of sparkle, velvet, bookish tees, stars, and polka dots.
• A slam-packed freezer with plenty of fish sticks (Oliver), pizza (usually Oliver), veggie patties (Josh), and vegetable steamer bags (mostly me).
• A leaning tower of new magazines on the ottoman.
• All the pastel narwhal page flags studding my journal, marking lists (like this one) and poems I need to type.
• The leftover foam in the tub after a bubble bath.
• Dr. Pepper and Cherry Coke cans before Josh whisks them away.
• The chip crumbs on the table and floor after Oliver has a treat.
• My books, computer, notepad, and pens spread out on a table in the college library.
• A basket full of pink and purple laundry.

My No Buy 2022 Intentions.

 1. I will buy clothes for Oliver and Josh when they need clothes. I will not buy clothes, shoes, jewelry, or accessories for myself unless an essential (such as my coat) is no longer usable. 

2. I will keep a NoBuy2022 List on Amazon for any 2022 wishes. They can come as gifts or wait a year. 

3. I will not buy makeup except when I run out of a basic cosmetic (foundation, eye shadow primer, mascara, or brown eyeliner).

4. I will not buy toiletries (except prescription toothpaste) until I run out of something (including samples) or need it for travel.

5. I will keep my subscriptions: Netflix, Amazon Prime, Kindle Unlimited, Spotify, three magazines, and stickers.

6. I will keep my DPAC season seats.

7. I will only buy restaurant food occasionally, about twice a month or while traveling. This does not count Oliver's post-appointment French fries.

8. If I request an item as a gift, I will not open/use the item until the corresponding occasion (birthday, anniversary, Christmas). 

9. I will not buy books, journals, stationery, or pens. I will use what I have and take full advantage of the library.

10. I will use gift cards, points, and store credit for sold items as I wish (money that I cannot spend on Oliver's care and education). 

11. I will buy reasonable gifts for others.

What I Love, Appreciate, and Admire about My Mama: Part 2.

21. She calms me and helps me see problems and solutions more clearly when I'm too panicked or confused to figure out my next move.

22. She loves Sleeping Beauty. We need to watch it together.

23. She accepts me even when she doesn't understand me.

24. She has researched, read books, and gone to classes to better understand the illness I share with other close relatives.

25. She cleans so quickly and (seemingly) easily.

26. She cuts and dyes my hair. It always feels like a bonding experience, and it's free!

27. She seems to have a talent for everything she tries.

28. She draws beautifully. I'd like to see her draw more.

29. She appreciates paper dolls.

30. She loves Madame Alexander dolls.

31. Her clothes or accessories always have unique touches.

32. When I was a high school junior, she said, "Maybe you don't need to go to college. Maybe you need to try to get a [literary] agent." I didn't go in that direction then, but I felt so accepted and validated. She took my writing seriously.

33. She can usually answer medical questions.

34. She can tell when I'm in a mood swing or starting a panic attack, sometimes before I can tell what's wrong.

35. She knows when to say, "That's the illness talking," or "Your brain is lying to you." Somehow, when I'm in a really bad place, that doesn't even occur to me.

36. Several years ago now, she said, "Maybe going off the meds shouldn't be your goal." Such weight lifted! She accepted that I was ill (we didn't yet know how ill), and she was going to encourage me to seek treatment and maintain it. For me, it changed our relationship, and it changed my life.

37. All shoes look good on her.

38. When something difficult is happening, she comes here to help me.

39. She helped me to get Oliver into Pre-K and to get his autism diagnosis.

40. She picks up where I run out of words.

What I Love, Appreciate, and Admire about My Mama: Part 1.

1. She is courageous, facing fear and heartbreak with all her strength and faith.
2. She connects easily with children, whether or not she knows them.
3. She has beautiful handwriting. It's soothing in a card from her.
4. She has a wonderful facial expression when she's happily surprised.
5. She has shared with me so many childhood books and series, such as A is for Annabelle, A Wrinkle in Time, The Chronicles of Narnia, A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, The Borrowers, and more.
6. She simply has a great passion for reading, and she encouraged that in me, which of course completely changed my life.
7. She enjoy sci-fi and has shared shows and movies with me, sometimes past my bed time!
8. She homeschooled me for 7 years. She recognized that regular school was killing me, and she ignored the people who thought they knew better.
9. She signs her name beautifully.
10. She likes Patty Loveless.
11. If I ask, I know she will give me the hard truth.
12. I know her compliments and encouragement are genuine.
13. We laugh together so much.
14. She adopted rabbits!
15. She makes this incredible crab dip. Just thinking about it makes me salivate, and I rarely salivate on my meds.
16. She holds onto her childhood traditions like "Christmas Eve Gift" and tiny wrapped gifts in stockings.
17. She's an amazing cook.
18. She makes heavenly spaghetti.
19. She always has some diet soda for Josh when we visit.
20. We banded together during some of the worst times in our lives.

Best Little and Not-So-Little Choices.

• Opening my heart to a new friend...or two.
• Becoming nicer at home.
• Buying big mint and lavender headphones...but I've lost them! Now, I have purple and hot pink headphones.
• Registering for drama and poetry, the classes in which I met Josh.
• Deciding to get into makeup. It brings me joy every day.
• Digging my way out of (most of) my rage.
• Starting a regular journal (a gift from my parents) when I was 15. That's almost 20 years ago!
• Buying green wedge-heel Mary Janes. I wore and loved them until I wore them out.
• Taking creative writing for two years in high school even though the teacher was scary.
• Applying to teach at a community college. It's the best job I have had. I did it until I got too sick.
• Reading (just about) every book I've read.

Christmas Post Script 2: Dad and Michelle.

After staying the night at Mom's, we had lunch with Dad and Michelle at a Chinese food and sushi place. I ordered crab rangoon since Oliver had (surprisingly) liked them in the past. He probably ate four of them. We know what to order now!

I gave Dad a hardcover anthology of short stories about robots and artificial intelligence (He has programmed and sold industrial robotics since I was little). And I gave him a big book of portraits of major comedians.

And I gave Michelle a lot of makeup, mostly types of eye makeup I've tried and liked. It's fun to have another family member who enjoys makeup.

Dad and Michelle had given our family a new laptop. I can easily do paperwork, research advocacy information, keep up with my blog, and watch movies. Dad and Michelle gave us some money for Oliver. Maybe we'll take Oliver to Target and just see what he likes. That should be interesting!

And when Dad told Oliver, "I love you," for the first time ever, Oliver said, "I love you" back.

Prelude to Christmas: With Bruce.

Bruce and I had our little Christmas celebration last Thursday. I don't wrap his gifts; I haul them in in a Pull-Ups box (with handles!). Most of my gifts to Bruce were Harry-Potter-themed. Bruce seemed to like them. Just some highlights of what Bruce gave me: a journal with pink roses and magnolias (I had to send a picture to Mom to identify the flowers), a large case of pens in various finishes, a book about mermaids (I am going to learn so much about mermaids in 2019), some of my favorite Bath and Body Works aromatherapy (Love--roses, and Sleep--Warm Milk and Honey), and Barnes and Nobel reading socks (which I've wanted forever but wouldn't buy for myself).

I have a tiny purple Moleskine notebook in which I write down what I buy and what gifts I receive. I go back through it to see if I'm using and appreciating what I have. Gifts are my primary love language, so I try to soak up all the love I can at Christmas and on my birthday. They patch me up.

The year is almost over. How will I fill next year with joy and growth?

What Amazes Me.

• My mom's gardens. Wherever she is, she makes flowers bloom.
• Stage sets and set changes. How do people make sets so astonishing yet portable?
• CDs. I can't began to ponder how they work.
• Red carpet gowns. I wonder what it would be like to have someone dress me, do my hair, and apply my makeup for an event like that. The last time this happened was when Mom styled me for Josh and my wedding.
• People who can really rollerskate or iceskate.
• My dad's work. He can talk to robots!
• How makeup and nail polish brands keep creating new colors, finishes, and effects.
• My mom's beautiful knitting and sewing projects.
• The wildly orange trees in front of a nearby gas station. 
• On stage costume quick changes. How?
• The massive body of fairy tales, legends, and retellings. 
• Horror movies. I'm fascinated by what kind of research and tradition must go into figuring out what scares people and why.
• People who have trained their bodies in amazing ways (dancers, especially).
• Sculpture. How can one carve a smooth figure out of stone?
• Catching a glimpse of a snowflake's shape before it melts.
• People who make objects of blown glass.
• ER nurses who must be fried but still smile genuinely and listen.
• People who work with children who have special needs.
• Children who speak fluently with their parents and friends.
• Josh's research.
• Gorgeous lettering.
• The way I react to the scent of Oliver's hair. Yes, he's my baby for sure.
• The evolution of writing tools--a book on it must exist.
• Ancient Egyptian art.
• The survival and evolution of myths.

Restoration: Week 40.

This past week, I gave up soda. I need to restore my body to better health and, I hope, get slimmer after my lithium-related weight gain. I love soda, so I hope to see major results.

My mother's dear friend Druella and her family decided to give their old Honda Civic to us so that Josh can drive himself to work and so I won't have to bring Oliver out past his bedtime to pick up Josh from night classes. Wow!

So we went to Charlotte to pick up the car. While we were there, we got to spend time with Dad, Michelle, and their new dog, Buckley. We shared three good meals, and Dad had us stay at a lovely hotel. Josh, Oliver, and I went straight to bed.

Bruce and I finished The Boy on the Bridge and began Annihilation. Reading together refreshes our friendship.

Bruce and I also enjoyed the return of SNL and The Good Doctor. And we finally watched Yentl. We agreed that the only change that would make Yentl better would be to have Mandy Patinkin sing. I'd forgotten how beautiful the music is. I love restoring lost joys to myself.

Best Gifts.

This is a list of some of the best gifts I've received. I'll try to stick to physical objects rather than experiences--they deserve their own list.

• My mom give me a drawing she'd made--antique frame, black hair, green eyes.
• My dad gave me a tiny iPod Shuffle some years ago. He loaded it with a ton of the music we like. I keep it in the car and listen to it whenever a drive (which is a lot).
• Mom and Shane gave me a beautiful white secretary desk. It was deep drawers to hold stationery, pens, notebooks, and ink. 
• Josh often buys me a Best Johnson necklaces for our anniversaries. One of my favorites has a mermaid pedant with wild gold-brown and a green and pink tail.
• Before I began teaching, Mom gave me some work essentials for Christmas: black heels and a black blazer.
• When I was pregnant, Mom gave me nice maternity clothes for my birthday.
• Bruce went to a museum in Raleigh and got me a strangely beautiful jellyfish journal. And it's Peter Pauper Press, possibly my favorite journal brand. 
• Mom gave me a lovely Cinderella Madame Alexander doll--something I thought I'd never have.
• Kay gave us a hanging candle holder of green beads for our wedding. 
• My dad took me to see Sunset Boulevard and then bought me all the souvenirs I wanted. I was shocked and thrilled.
• When I was 16, I showed Dad a beautiful purple Hard Candy eyeshadow palette, and he bought it for me!
• Shane bought us a new washer and dryer when ours gave out.
• Grandpa made sure I always had a Walkman and showtunes.
• Nanna and Grandpa made sure I had good movies and TV shows (Little House!) to watch.
• And of course, many family members and friends have donated money to help us with Oliver's treatment.

Marveling at What I Already Have.

I'm a collector. I make good use of my collection, but I need to make more of a habit of appreciating and using what I have.

When I started keeping a journal in earnest, I bought my journals one at a time and filled them in about two weeks. I had a fantasy of having dozens of journals to choose from at home--all styles, colors, and designs. Now, I have that. I'll buy a journal if it is very special, but I mostly just choose from a green bin with white polka dots under my bed.

I have enough reading material to last years, so a new book has to be pretty special. I love finding good used books. I have several $1.99 e-books that don't take up any room. Having books near me, even electronically, makes me feel calm.

As an older teen, I fantasized about having fancy makeup and many expressive options. I dreamed of colors and glitter. And now, I have so much awesome makeup. Putting on makeup is play time. I don't really need anything--only an unusual color or an intensity glitter finish will tempt me.

I have pens to last a year or more. Pens are essential, and new ones are always welcome. I just occasionally add pens here and there--maybe one red Stardust Gelly Roll. I organize my pens by color and use a pouch to hold the colors I'm using in my current journal. Right now, the pouch holds pink and green pens. I love organizing anything by color. I have pens in color-coded mugs all around the house, and the pens serve as a reminder of the writer I am and the writer I want to be.

I'm thankful for all I have in these areas. They are multiple dreams come true.

I Thank Myself.

I think that just as we tend to forget to thank the people who have helped us, we forget to thank ourselves.

I thank myself for

• Starting a journal in earnest when I was 15
• Writing poems and stories
• Marrying Josh
• Having Oliver
• Nursing Oliver for 13 months
• Applying to Queens University's MFA program
• Asking Alan Michael Parker to be my thesis advisor
• Forgiving as much as I can
• Forgiving myself as much as I can
• Learning to type (Mavis Beacon!)
• Working hard in school
• Making friends with Melissa
• Asking Bruce to carpool to work
• Watching so many movies
• Collecting pens and journals, so I always have a selection on hand
• Opening my heart--every time I've done it
• Going to therapy
• Going to a psychiatrist
• Setting up everything Oliver needs
• Being brave

Nanna and Grandpa.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much my grandparents influenced and inspired me while I was growing up. They are the most generous people I know, and I would be quite a different person without them.

My dad bought tickets to take Mom to The Phantom of the Opera. He told me about it, and I was so intrigued and curious. Nanna and Grandpa had the soundtrack and a beautiful souvenir program. I disappeared into one of the chairs in their living room with a borrowed Discman and the CD booklet with the full libretto. I fell desperately in love with the music. I was 7 or 8.

Grandpa gave me a Walkman and replaced it when I wore it out. It was my own magical portal to Broadway music. Eventually, Nanna and Grandpa gave me their souvenir program, and I still have it. They revealed other Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals to me-Cats, Starlight Express, Sunset Boulevard, Evita, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. They had a wardrobe full of videos and music. It was better than a Narnia wardrobe to me. I loved peering inside.

Grandpa took me to see a local show of Funny Girl. Nanna and Grandpa took me and some cousins to the touring Beauty and the Beast.  They took me to Joseph. And they introduced many other musicals to me by VHS. Rodgers and Hammerstein--South Pacific, Sound of Music, Carousel--and others like Gigi, My Fair Lady, West Side Story, and more. Without these, my life would have far less magic. 

They also took me to Europe when I was 13. We went to France, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, and the Netherlands. One of my favorite memories is of our walking in Paris, each holding a baguette and a Coke. Americans!

I am deeply grateful to my grandparents for opening new worlds to me.

1,000 Joys: Part 40.

1. Journals as gifts
2. Oliver's playing dress-up with hats
3. Watching The Good Doctor with Bruce
4. Showing Josh a funny video
5. Seeing other people reading at the airport
6. Seeing a good number of people at the library
7. Almost all memories of roller skating
8. Buying violet perfume in Asheville
9. Meerkats
10. Hummingbirds
11. Charms. I'd love to sort through a bucket of them
12. Oliver in the snow
13. Exhibits on ancient Egypt
14. Oliver, fresh from his bath
15. Wet erase markers
16. Oliver's pacing and singing when he gets home
17. Tiny white hairs on Oliver's ears
18. Memories of a plush seal my uncle Chris gave me
19. My uncle Ross's sly smile
20. Taxes help from Uncle Jason
21. Watching a scary movie in the theater with a vocal audience
22. Memories of traveling in Europe almost 20 years ago with my grandparents
23. Being open about my obsessions
24. Wearing green
25. My silver Tinkerbell ring, a perfect reminder of our fairy-tale honeymoon

Done!

1,000 Joys: Part 39.

1. Kind dental assistants
2. Unopened pens
3. Necklaces from Josh
4. Anna Sui designs for PB Teen
5. Memories of a box of paper doilies
6. A used book in the mail
7. Gunmetal gray cars
8. Free shipping
9. A multi-colored pack of cardstock
10. Polka dot socks
11. Capes
12. A new book by my favorite poet
13. Upcoming releases from my favorite writers
14. Making lists of my favorite words
15. Glacier green
16. Fun fads like mermaids and unicorns
17. Best American anthologies
18. Beautifully-wrapped soaps
19. Sudden darkness in winter
20. Josh's getting excited about seeing "a cool dog"
21. Oliver's commenting on the moon
22. Velvet, especially dark blue
23. Oliver's expecting praise after completing a puzzle
24. Black gold-style jewelry
25. Jane Eyre adaptations

One more list to go!

Times I've Felt Most Loved: Part 2.

• My dearest friend, Keely, picked me up and ran to the house when I got a bee sting as a kid.
• On her last visit, Mom took out the trash as she left.
• When I was little, my nanna told me a long story (with answers to my many questions) about how she would take care of me if I were Thumbelina-sized.
• I was on a business trip with my parents, and I forgot to bring a notebook. I felt sick without one. Mom and Dad went to a dinner, and Mom came back to the hotel with a spiral notebook from a gas station. I was astounded by the love in that gesture. She didn't have to understand; loving me was enough.
• Melissa is always a brilliant gift-giber, tuning into my obsessions and wishes.
• My grandfather used to buy me a book or two for the plane ride home.
• Nursing Oliver, I felt a pure, simple, and profound form of love flowing between us.
• Nick used to bring me a giant Frappuccino when I had a lot of homework.
• Mom put scented gel pens in one of my last Easter baskets.
• My uncle Chris took me to see Peter Pan and got me Peter's autograph!
• After I got my wisdom teeth removed recently, Mom got up in the night to give me pain meds.
• Dad took me to see Sunset Boulevard and bought me all the souvenirs I wanted.
• Mom came with me to meetings as I tried to get Oliver into Pre-K. She took over when I wore down.
• Shane gave us a new washer and dryer when ours were breaking down. Oliver was a newborn, and we were doing laundry constantly.
• Michelle gave me a Q & A for Writers book. I feel great any time someone validates my writer self.
• Bruce took care of Oliver all day while I was in the ER with lithium toxicity.
• I taught Oliver to kiss early, and he was a generous kisser.
• My mom-in-law kissed my check when I was in labor.

1,000 Joys: Part 38.

1. Watching Oliver eat red grapes
2. Living room dance parties with Oliver
3. Rose Petal Lane (it's real!)
4. Eating holiday cake or pie for breakfast
5. Bonding with my brother over Little Women and Anne of Green Gables movies
6. Bonding with my brother over the book Stargirl
7. Philadelphia cheese cake cups
8. A short, shallow bath before my shower
9. The bright yellow tree across the pond
10. Reading a little poetry each day
11. Hearing Josh speak sweetly to Oliver
12. Autumn leaves against a bright blue sky
13. Drinking Cherry Coke in the bath
14. Swimming in hotel pools at night
15. My Jo March doll that reminds me I'm a writer
16. Reading subscription box reviews
17. Letting go of a situation I can't control
18. Oliver's beloved plush dogs, Brr Brr and Radar
19. Oliver's interest in music and dance
20. Oliver's hair in the breeze
21. Learning about poets' lives
22. Reading aloud well (rare!)
23. Short Stories stickers on library book spines
24. The jeweled style of FLB's early books
25. A pre-ordered book arriving on release day

1,000 Joys: Part 37.

1. Pens color-coordinated in cubbies
2. The scent of lilac (partly because my mom likes it)
3. The character Jean-Luc Picard
4. Singing Broadway show tunes in the car with Bruce
5. Oliver's great love for an ivy-print comforter
6. Our guest room full of books
7. Giant glass bottles of bubble bath
8. The rhinestones on the glasses Mom gave me
9. Emptying an ink cartridge
10. The quilt my sister-in-law made for Oliver
11. White or black marble
12. Well-headed indoor pools
13. Showing Bruce more about fountain pens
14. Helping others learn something I know or do well
15. Thick multi-colored polka dot socks
16. Unexpected positive reactions to my posts
17. A royal blue double ribbon bookmark
18. A memory of a bookmark with baby unicorns at an elementary school bookfair
19. Cheap Joe's Art Stuff
20. Buying a fistful of Gelly Roll pens at Cheap Joe's
21. Mini bagels with honey
22. Josh's surprising me with Broadway references
23. Singing silly songs with my brother
24. American Girl catalogs
25. My black glittens

1,000 Joys: Part 36.

1. Working on Christmas shopping
2. Checking someone off my gift list
3. Dark butterflies
4. Checking something off my list using a different color
5. Eucalyptus Tea scent in Bruce's living room
6. Showing off a new funny video
7. Mom's getting up in the night to give me meds
8. My dad's sounding happy to talk to me on the phone
9. Dropping a bill payment in the mail slot
10. A cold bottle of water handed to me
11. Chipping away at a huge book of poetry
12. Re-reading a beloved book
13. Sitting up in bed
14. People who give me pens. Any kind.
15. Josh's remembering to bring my blanket on a trip
16. Cold Cherry Coke
17. The thought of touching a seahorse
18. Sharing a goal with someone
19. My hair, new red even without sunlight
20. Deep conditioning hair masks
21. Mac and cheese with broccoli--best comfort food
22. Unexpectedly painless hours
23. Valentine's Day dish towels
24. "Accidental" glitter spills
25. Purple sequin flats