What Makes Me Curious: Part 1.

I gave myself a prompt (which I gleaned from reading an article in Bella Grace) to fill a spread in my journal with objects of my curiosity. A lot of them turned out to be people. I'm thinking about how I can discover more about each of these curiosities. Here they are:

• Native Americans. I have a DK book called North American Indians that I want to read. When I was a little girl, I read as much as I could about Native Americans, but I've forgotten a lot of what I learned. I want to read more Native American writerrs, inclluding Natalie Diaz (I gave Postcolonial Love Poem 5 stars) and Stephen Graham Jones. I read something I'm heavily paraphrasing somewhere: Learn as much about Native American brilliance as about their tragedy. I want to do that. I'm going to search for anthologies of Native American stories or poems.
• Ancient Egypt. Egypt has always fascinated me. I got to learn some about it in AP Art History my senior year of high school. I have a DK book on Ancient Egypt. I want to read that soon. I also want to buy an audio book of Egyptian mythology.
• Interior design. I've always loved floorplans, and I enjoy decorating in my quirky, glittery way. But this year, I've become more interested in interiror design. I've read several books about it this year, and I have four more to read. Even Kindle Unlimited has a book about becoming an interior designer. It's not something I'd actually do, and I don't intend to follow any rules, but I want to learn more about it.
• Kinuko Y. Craft. She is one of my favorite artists. I've had a couple of her calendars, which I need to cut up for prints and art journal pages. I've already hung up some calendar art. I should revisit her beautifully illustrated fairy tales. I've added a couple more to my wish list. And I have one book about her drawings and paintings; I want to read that. Her work is gorgeous and fascinating. Check out her gallery!
• Tasha Tudor. She was another of my favorite artists. I collect books she's illustrated. When I was a little girl, my mom read her copy of A Is for Annabelle to me. It's an alphabet book about a very fancy doll. She gave me my own copy for my eighteenth birthday. Now, I have a story book or two, a book of love poetry, a Child's Garden of Verses, and a book of fairy tales, all of which she illustrated. I want to read each of them and absorb the art. I also have a book about her art; maybe I'll read that in 2024.
• Josephine Wall. Another favorite artist! I have some journals with her art, and I have at least one print in the study from one of her calendars. I also have a book about her and her art that I need to read.
• Amy Brown. Another favorite artist! I've loved Amy Brown since I discovered her as a teenager. One of the first Christmas gifts Josh gave me was a book of her art. I have at least three such books, but I've never read the text. I'd like to get the two other books on her art for my collection. 
• Sunset Boulevard, the musical. I saw this when I was younger than twelve. The cast album still haunts me. I've heard we may get a movie of the musical someday, which would be amazing. The sets and special effects are breathtaking. I have a big hardcover book all about the musical. I've had it for many years, but I've never read it!
• Dear Evan Hansen. I've watched a lot of videos about this show. I've read the companion novel. I've seen the movie. I've seen the show twice, once from the second row! I knew nothing about this musical the first time I saw it, but it became my second-favorite show! I almost got to see it on Broadway, but the pandemic shut it down that night. I have a big hardcover about the musical, and I need to read that. 
• The Phantom of the Opera. I think I'm due to reread this novel. It's also my favvorite musical. I've seen the show seven times, once on Broadway! I have...you guessed it, a big hardcover about the musical. So much to read! I also need to read Andrew Lloyd Weber's and Michael Crawford's memoirs (both of which I own) as they probably reveal a lot about the show.
• Ann Patchett. Ann Patchett just seems like a special person. I've read two of her novels, a memoir, and a book of essays (This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage). I own another book of essays, These Precious Days, which I'd like to read as soon as possible. It's on deck for this year! I also want to read the rest of her novels. She doesn't have a short story collection that I know of. She also has this amazing independent bookstore, Parnassus, and I want to read the bookstore's blog. The store is in Tennessee, and I'd love to go see it.
• Fountain pens and ink. I learn a lot about these from my Pen Squad group on Facebook, and a former pen pal taught me even more. I own fourteen fountain pens, and I've been learning how best to use them, clean them, and care for them. Ink fascinates me. I'm having an ink experience now because I have a Diamine Inkvent calendar with twenty-five miniature bottles of ink! I got the calendar last year too. Since draining a pen of ink takes me a couple of days, I've already started this year's calendar. I'm on number three! I'm also in the process of using each of my inks one by one. I have a desk drawer full of inks: standard, scented, sheening, shimmering, and "chameleon," which means the ink is one color and the glitter is another color. 
• Anais Nin. I've been interested in her since I found a volume of her journal, Nearer the Moon, at the library when I was a teenager. I read it, and in college, I read most of another volume called Fire. Now, I've collected almost all the volumes of her diaries, mostly Kindle books that I got for $2.99 each! I still have a couple to find, including one that's out of print. My goal for next year is to read at least twenty-five published diaries and books about jorunals, and I'll be reading Nin's diaries from the beginning. I have the first three volumes, a gap, a few more volumes...I'm missing the last three volumes. I'll get them all, hopefully prior to next year. I also have a couple of her short story (erotica) collections and other books, novels and nonfiction. I'm fascinated with her as a wildly prolific diarist. I don't think many people besides her have filled as many journals as I have!
• Anne Lamott. I love Annie Lamott. This year, I got to see her speak during a virtual writing conference. I've read some of her books visually, and I've listened to others. I like her voice. She's so irreverant, yet she's a person of great faith. I admire her as a fierce artist and thinker who is a believer. I want to read or listen to the rest of her memoirs and essays. I also need a reread Bird by Bird with a highlighter in hand. My dad gave me the book when I was a teenager, and it helped shape me as a writer.
• Sylvia Plath. So, I've read her journals (back in grad school), but I've only read a scattering of her poems. I have her collected poems, which I want to read soon. It won the Pulitzer, and one of my decade goals is to read at least ten Pulitzer Prize winners, so there you go. I've read one biography, but I'd like to read more. I'd also like to read more of Ted Hughes's poetry; I read Birthday Letters during my MFA. 
• Kim Addonizio. I've really just started reading her. Josh bought me two of her poetry collections this year, and I read both last month. I want to own and read the rest of her poetry. I especially want to read her memoir of writer's life, Budowski in a Sundress. I don't own that yet. I do own her Ordinary Genius, which I'd like to read next year. I also want her The Poet's Companion, which she wrote with Dorianne Laux. I read parts of it in the ASU library as a senior.
• Jill Bialosky. Another poet who happened to be KA's editor! Connections in the poetry world are so interesting. I've read two of her poetry collections, one of them so long ago that I need to read it again. I'm in the middle of her memoir Poetry Will Save Your Life. I need to finish it! I have more books of her poetry on my wish list, and I've checked out one of her novels on Libby. 
• David Lehman. Another poet. I read his The Daily Mirror many years ago. Now, I have his Evening Sun: A Journal in Poetry. He is also the standing editor of the wondrous Best American Poetry series. He gathers the poems and then gives them to a guest editor, who selects seventy-five poems from the year's journals and magazines. So he is kind of the king of poetry. I want to read more of her poems, and I want to read his forewards to as many BAPs as possible.
• Donald Hall. I've read his Selected Poems, which wasn't really my taste. But I love his nonfiction. I've read Unpacking the Boxes and The Best Day, the Worst Day; the latter is about his life with the poet Jane Kenyon. I own his newest book, Essays at Eighty, and it's on my reading list for next year.
• Amy Gerstler. My favorite poet! I've read all of her easily-accessed books and the BAP for which she was guest editor. Her poems appear regularly in years of BAP as well, including the 2023 volume I'm starting to read! I want to get a hold of her books that are out of print. Once I do that, I want to reread all her poetry in order of publication.
• Best American anthologies. As you may have read, one of my major goals is to read some of the Best American anthologies for every year. I'm going back to 2000 with Poetry (maybe eventually all the way back to the '80s) and back to 2020 with Short Stories, Essays, Food Writing, Travel Writing (which unfortunately folded after 2021), and Science Fiction and Fantasy. I have a lot of catching up to do! I have read several of the Poetry volumes, but I want to own and read all of them, or at least twenty-three years of them. Each anthology has a series editor and an annual guest editor. Ann Patchett edited one of the Best American Short Stories! These anthologies are the best way to learn about contemporary poetry and discover new poets. That's how I discovered Amy Gerstler!
• Contemporary poetry. I want to learn more about contemporary poetry by reading as much of it as I can. Reading BAP will help. I also want to read as many Pitt Poetry Series books as I can. I recently discovered the Everyman's Library Pocket Poets, little anthologies of poems, sometimes by single poets but often by a variety of poets across time writing on a particualr subject. Josh has given me three of these. I'm almost done with Fairy Poems, and I'm eager to read Art and Artists poems and Books and Libraries poems. I have a lot more of the books on my wish list. I plan to read a book of poetry for every day of April and October each year. I did that this October and managed to whittle down my stacks of poetry.
• Libraries. Libraries are remarkable. I'm using Libby now to read as many E-books and audio books as I can. I currently have overdue books from the physical library, but once I finish and return those, I'm going to get back to reading all the poetry at my local branch and to borrowing books from all over the state thrioug the inter-library loan program! I'm also just curiosu about libraries in general, public, private, and personal. I'm currently reading a book called At Home with Books, which is about notable personal libraries. I love reading books like that; I've read others, and I plan to read more!

Lessons I Learned in 2019.

Surely, 2019 has taught me more than I realize. But this is what I've noticed.

• I learned that I really must not stop reading, even for a day. I slip away from it so easily. 
• I reviewed the importance of theatre for me. In 2019, I saw eight musicals with Bruce. Amazing. And now, I'm not longer a sort of guide; I'm a spectator. 
• I've learned that my Google Calendar is critical. Josh and I have linked calendars. If it's not on the calendar, it probably doesn't exist for me. I try to add appointments and events right away, and I try to review the calendar on my phone a few times a day. BSD (or the accompanying meds) have trashed my short-term memory.
• I found out that time alone together is not only special but also vital. Last June, Josh and I stayed in a hotel (thanks to my dad) for two nights while Oliver stayed with Mom. Josh and I worked on being alone together--so strange now! I want to try again this year. 
• I learned that Josh has talents and capabilities of which I was only vaguely aware. I both ask more of him and praise him more. I'm impressed with him.
• I found that I can get my pets needs with someone else's pets. I've spent some good time with Bruce's cats. I think I've even won over the aloof one.
• I learned that parenting requires love but also courage and determination, even despite pain and fear. I survived Oliver's having surgery (tongue-tie) and my having to perform miserable post-surgery care. 
• I learned that despite everything, a patchwork family can come together to help or to celebrate. Oliver had his six grandparental units for his birthday. Everyone talked, sat together, and simply joined in love for one adorable eight-year-old.
• I learned that I can find professionals who can and will help me, and I can manage changes. My psychiatrist, my therapist, and my primary care doctor have all changed recently (not by my choice), but I think the new ones will be good too. 

2020, please teach me gently!

Curious.

Here are some examples of what lights up my curiosity:

• What's in other people's makeup bags. What's cheap; what's a splurge? What's the organization, if any? What are the shades? What can I learn?
• Past writing tools. How could people write novels or even long letters with pen and ink? What did current pens become common?
• Ancient Egypt. What was education like? What were family relationships like?
• Other people's diaries. Luckily, plenty are published, so I needn't snoop. But I don't know if I know anyone who keeps a diary regularly. What kinds of concrete details are in the diary, and what do they reveal?
• Names of flowers and trees.
• Parasitic twins. Whoa.
• The relationship between books and the films based on them.
• The tea-time tradition. I've been to high tea twice, but I'd like to know more.
• Andrew Lloyd Webber. His memoir awaits me on one of the book stacks in my room.
• Other people's hallucinations. What do they reveal, if anything?
• What makes reading difficult for me.
• Fairy tales. I need to stuff myself with them. So many cultures! So many shades of fantasy!

A Willing Mind: 1 Chronicles 28:9.

I saw this phrase when I was reading the Bible, and I wondered what it meant. What does a willing mind do? Here are my thoughts:

A willing mind

• Is open to new conversation topics.
• Is not intimidated when picking up a large or complex book.
• Is open to learning from others.
• Is able to acknowledge varying strengths and intelligence in others.
• Is comfortable talking about others' beliefs.
• Is non-judgmental
• Asks huge questions and tiny questions.
• Learns eagerly. 
• Considers all new knowledge valuable.
• Forms mental and emotional connections easily.
• Does not shy away from the opportunity to learn something complex.
• Is open to God's peace.
• Is empathic and considerate.
• Accepts love gladly.
• Uses available resources well.
• Stuffs itself with stories.
• Appreciates art easily.
• Accepts good advice. 

I only have some of these qualities (and sometimes, probably none), but it's a list to strive for.

Crash Course.

I like the idea of having crash courses--one day or a few hours, hopefully with a friend.

• Geology. I'd like to have names for the rocks I find.
• Horticulture: Again, I want names for flowers and trees. I think they deserve to have name space in my mind. 
• Theatre appreciation. Why didn't I take this in college? I might talk too much.
• Creative writing. I'd walk in as a beginner. That would be strange but fun.
• Calligraphy or lettering. Why not?
• Marine biology. I hope this would include aquariums.
• Handwriting interpretation. So cool!
• Costume design...if I only had to watch and study.
• Voice lessons. Maybe even a little would help. 
• The history of rock music. The school where I taught four actually offered this!
• Autism. Maybe I'd be better able to care for Oliver.

The Holes in My Education.

This phrase is from Ann Patchett's book Truth and Beauty. 

Some of these are my own fault for not reading what was assigned to me. Luckily, I read nearly every book in my MFA program, no matter how intimidating they looked. I wish I could I have lists of what my required reading was; then, I could make it up.I have looked at reading lists from other universities though.

I feel the lack of abnormal psychology class--I was a psych minor! And the class would certainly be relevant now. I'm glad I got a cast-off textbook at work. I've learned a lot from my own reading in the last two years, but I still have so much to learn.

I used to have nearly no contemporary poetry knowledge. I went back and back to the same little poetry section at the library, and at least for a while, I felt as if I were familiar with contemporary poetry. I need to read more poetry. We have plenty waiting in the house.

This is to say nothing about math and science, but those don't top my list. I might like to learn about marine biology.

I try to pay attention to names and words I don't know. Life-long learning is daily, sometimes bit-by-bit and sometimes in wild gallops.

Thoughts on Reading.

 (Image: http://tech-rage.co.cc/2011/02/11/the-worst-part-of-censorship/)

We finished watching Howl on Tuesday. Two aspects stayed with me: one, the candle-lit sepia faces of the listeners as Ginsberg (Franco) gave his reading, and two, this:

"...there is in most of us the desire to make the world conform to our own views and it takes all of the force of our own reason as well as our legal institutions to defy so human an urge. The battle of censorship will not be finally settled by your honor’s decision, but you will either add to liberal educated thinking or, by your decision, you will add fuel to the fire of ignorance." 

- Jake Ehrlich

What brilliance. I'm trying to imagine how thrilled the actor must have been to be able to deliver such words. I don't remember my mother ever telling me I couldn't read something, and I hope to never limit my child's (or children's) reading. Reading is the gateway to all knowledge and to all experience that is out of reach. I will be proud and grateful beyond measure if Oliver wants to read, and I hope that his father and I will daily model a wonder of books. 

 (Image: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Holladay-Library-Salt-Lake-County-Library-System/197971900231067?sk=wall#!/photo.php?fbid=197972223564368&set=a.197972183564372.55635.197971900231067&pid=682787&id=197971900231067)

As a teacher, I want to decrease the "fuel" that ignorance gathers. I may not be able to pour light on my students (I don't have much to give), but if I can just tear a little hole through which my students can climb toward knowledge, if I can at least prompt a little awareness, I feel fantastic about that. I've been trying to dampen my own ignorance too (for example, when I see a page view from a new country, I look it up and try to learn a little about it since I'm completely daft about geography. When I saw an unfamiliar reference to a criminal case on Facebook, I read about it. When Josh noticed that some of his ancestors had really incredible numbers of children, I became curious about what they may have known or believed about birth control then, and I read about the history of birth control). I think reading (and then writing to reinforce, reflect, and create) is the best way to fight ignorance, which is not unintelligence but merely unawareness, willful or not. Reading, writing, cultural experiences, and travel can make our minds wider. Can't you feel it?

(Image: http://simpleandextraordinary.tumblr.com/post/2673600950)