When I Buy a Journal.

When I first started keeping a journal in earnest, I bought journals one at a time as I finished them. I remember Flavia journals, which no longer seem to exist. They were my favorites. At the time, I had plans to get married and go to Lipscomb. I knew we'd be poor then, so I started stockpiling journals for when I'd no longer be able to buy them. I bought them indiscriminately.

Now, I only buy really remarkable journals (of course, I always love them as gifts). I often see them at Barnes. I usually check Amazon. A special journal will reach for me, and I'll keep going back to look at it. If the pages aren't embellished, I add stickers for fun. I assign a couple of colors to match the journal with ink. Inside the back cover, I write where, when, and with whom I bought the journal or who gave it to me when. I love looking back at that; I wish I always remembered to record it!

I keep blank journals in green boxes with white polka dots under my bed. I had a dream of being able to "shop" for a journal at home; now, I can do it! I can match a mood, a color attraction, or a particular need of sturdiness or size--whatever reflects my frame of mind and my expectations for the next month or two while I fill the journal.

Feeling Alive.

I have many faults. I recently realized that one of my worst faults is greed. I always want something. I'm hard to satisfy. Shopping, even just online window shopping, makes me feel alive. So I'm thinking about other ways I can feel alive.

• Reading. This is one of the biggest. Reading is consuming. I have access to endless books among libraries and my own shelves. When I really get into reading, it's like lying on a steady float in a pool. Reading can take me to new places and redirect my thoughts.
• Kissing my husband.
• Flowers. I've been more sensitive to flowers lately. Hydrangea, one of my favorites, is starting to bloom. I should go the botanical gardens again or walk about the rose garden at Josh's college. 
• Style. On part of working I miss is deciding on my outfit for the next day. I really enjoyed putting together clothes shoes, and jewelry that would help me feel good about myself. But I can still do that.
• Bubble baths. Hot water with foam and poetry. The combination always settles me but also makes me feel alert.
• Talking to Mom. We talk a few times a week, and we always laugh. I always feel refreshed after we talk. 
• Favorite movies. Sometimes, I should just let a favorite movie play in the background of my day. Movies are an important part of who I am. 
• Favorite music. I listen in the car and while I'm getting ready. I could try playing it more at home.
• Makeup. Like style, makeup is such a great way to express myself. I can also apply makeup that guides the mood of the day. I love playing with colors and sparkles..
• Illustrated books. Story books and art books captivate me, but I rarely take the time to sit down with one. .It can sooth and inspire me. 
• Collections. I love collecting special objects. Books, pens, makeup, journals, stickers. Just looking through them makes me happy, and I feel a little less greedy when I see the wonderful objects I already have. I appreciate my past selves and others who stocked me up on loveliness before money got low.
• Mail. I love getting mail. Ordering something online is a thrill--something's coming in the  mail! But that's not to only way to get good mail. I need to write more letters!
• Dancing, especially if it's with Oliver. I try to dance with him every morning.

How do you keep your flaws in check?