81. She homeschooled me for several years so we could travel with my dad and because I wasn't surviving in school.
82. She created assignments that corresponded with my interests (/obsessions).
83. You could say she likes butter.
84. She has cleaned up my post-surgery vomit and eaten soup immediately afterward.
85. She held a newborn Oliver against my face when I was too weak and encumbered to hold him close. That was the first time I really got to smell him, and I could feel the chemicals in my brain going wild--a this is my baby moment.
86. She accepted the vital task of rubbing my lower back while I was in labor. It must have been exhausting.
87. She encourages me to give myself more grace than judgment.
88. The sound of her voice cracks open whatever i'm trying to deal with in silence. So I cry, which I probably need to do.
89. If I say I may need to go to the mental health ER, she acts fine with it, encouraging me to go on and do what is healthy for me right then or to find someone who can help me figure out what that is.
90. She lights up when she sees me. It's mostly for Oliver but not all.
91. When I was a preteen and teenager, I had extreme acne, and she took treating it seriously.
92. She always finds something to compliment or praise.
93. She tired ribbons around my wrists as bracelets when I wanted to play Snow White.
94. She let me dress up and pretend to be Cinderella when I cleaned the house.
95. We couldn't avoid a museum exhibit of taxidermy animals in imitations of their normal environments. Mom remembered that I'm terrified of that kind of display. She didn't tell me to get it together. She told me to hold onto James's stroller and close my eyes; she led me through. It's one of the best kindnesses anyone has ever shown me.
96. She never tried to ground me from reading or writing. I guess she knew I'd fall apart.
97. She can tell if I'm too nervous, too overwhelmed, or too scared.
98. She went dress shopping with me before I married Josh. She found the perfect earrings for me and the perfect tie for Josh.
99. She loves blow fish.
100. She is the bravest person I've ever known.
Inspiring lists, sparkling reads, and quirky musings from a writer~reader~wife~mama~advocate who wants to seek, create, and savor life's sweet bits.
Showing posts with label looking back. Show all posts
Showing posts with label looking back. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 5, 2019
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Poet Blessings.
I have a new annoying habit of waking up at least an hour before I need to. This means that I end up hungry and end up eating second breakfast to avoid starving at work. This may or may not be contributing to the stray and completely unnecessary stretch marks that are showing up all over me.
Speaking of food, someone stole my lunch on Tuesday. I'm not talking about a PB&J. I'm talking about a frozen steamer meal of pasta, marinara, tomatoes, sausage, and meatballs. The dejection (and extreme suspicion of everyone in my building) was pretty all-consuming for part of the afternoon.
Yesterday was a good day though. I had the crazy good fortune of having my thesis adviser and one of my thesis readers come to my school to give readings in the spring. In fact, my thesis adviser came just when Oliver began to hear outside sounds. How cool is that? Anyway, yesterday, a professor with whom Josh and I took a class together came to read. I didn't really expect him to remember me since it was a class he team taught with a visiting poet (if only she would come too!). But he had that trying-to-place-you look when he shook my hand, and as soon as I told him how we'd met, he remembered me and Josh.
"Didn't you two get married?"
"Yes. We're having a baby. Two and a half weeks!"
"Or whenever," my coworker said.
Josh came to the main reading in the library, and our Mr. Poet said hello to him in the middle of his presentation. The reading was excellent, and Oliver seemed very responsive to the voice. Afterward, Mr. Poet came to talk to us, and the college president (who is an old friend) then talked to him about us. The P and VP came to meet Josh, saying they had seen him on campus. Josh explained that he's on standby for the big event. The P invited Josh along to the lunch at the P's house. Well! Now, everyone knows who Josh is, and I would get to have him with me.
The house was lovely. The P and his wife gave us an adorable sleeper set with bear feet and a pattern of little bears cuddling their blankets. It came with a cloth (machine washable!) bear to cuddle. The food included a chicken casserole with fancy green beans and almonds; bread crumb, onion, and zucchini casserole; yeasty rolls; and some kind of tomato gelatin. Josh the veggie-head did just fine. We sat on a cushioned glider on the screen-in, ceiling-fanned porch. We chatted with administrators and my coworkers and answered Mr. Poet's questions about what we've been doing. He kept telling everyone that he takes credit for our marriage. We also got to meet his wife, whom I liked right away. I felt unusually relaxed (despite a slight fear with every twinge that I may stain the president's white cushion with some labor-y fluid). Then, Josh went to get me a generous slice of cake. The cake was pumpkin with a thin layer of spiced icing and walnut halves. I can't describe the perfection of it.
We said goodbye, and Mr. Poet told us to let him know. He complimented our literary choice of name and was just charming all around (in his coat, tie, bushy beard, hiking sandals, and woolly socks). Josh and I started thinking about all those creative writing classes we took together and about the evenings at the visiting poet's octagonal cottage, drinking raspberry soda in plastic wine glasses and talking about writing. We were poor and outcast and alone up on a mountain, but it was a beautiful and privileged time in our lives.
I think some kind of fairy tale is here. Since I began, in earnest, my journey to motherhood, I have received visits from two of my MFA professors and one professor Josh and I shared when we were beginning our lives together. They've all read their poems, and in their way, blessed this baby and me.
Speaking of food, someone stole my lunch on Tuesday. I'm not talking about a PB&J. I'm talking about a frozen steamer meal of pasta, marinara, tomatoes, sausage, and meatballs. The dejection (and extreme suspicion of everyone in my building) was pretty all-consuming for part of the afternoon.
Yesterday was a good day though. I had the crazy good fortune of having my thesis adviser and one of my thesis readers come to my school to give readings in the spring. In fact, my thesis adviser came just when Oliver began to hear outside sounds. How cool is that? Anyway, yesterday, a professor with whom Josh and I took a class together came to read. I didn't really expect him to remember me since it was a class he team taught with a visiting poet (if only she would come too!). But he had that trying-to-place-you look when he shook my hand, and as soon as I told him how we'd met, he remembered me and Josh.
"Didn't you two get married?"
"Yes. We're having a baby. Two and a half weeks!"
"Or whenever," my coworker said.
Josh came to the main reading in the library, and our Mr. Poet said hello to him in the middle of his presentation. The reading was excellent, and Oliver seemed very responsive to the voice. Afterward, Mr. Poet came to talk to us, and the college president (who is an old friend) then talked to him about us. The P and VP came to meet Josh, saying they had seen him on campus. Josh explained that he's on standby for the big event. The P invited Josh along to the lunch at the P's house. Well! Now, everyone knows who Josh is, and I would get to have him with me.
The house was lovely. The P and his wife gave us an adorable sleeper set with bear feet and a pattern of little bears cuddling their blankets. It came with a cloth (machine washable!) bear to cuddle. The food included a chicken casserole with fancy green beans and almonds; bread crumb, onion, and zucchini casserole; yeasty rolls; and some kind of tomato gelatin. Josh the veggie-head did just fine. We sat on a cushioned glider on the screen-in, ceiling-fanned porch. We chatted with administrators and my coworkers and answered Mr. Poet's questions about what we've been doing. He kept telling everyone that he takes credit for our marriage. We also got to meet his wife, whom I liked right away. I felt unusually relaxed (despite a slight fear with every twinge that I may stain the president's white cushion with some labor-y fluid). Then, Josh went to get me a generous slice of cake. The cake was pumpkin with a thin layer of spiced icing and walnut halves. I can't describe the perfection of it.
We said goodbye, and Mr. Poet told us to let him know. He complimented our literary choice of name and was just charming all around (in his coat, tie, bushy beard, hiking sandals, and woolly socks). Josh and I started thinking about all those creative writing classes we took together and about the evenings at the visiting poet's octagonal cottage, drinking raspberry soda in plastic wine glasses and talking about writing. We were poor and outcast and alone up on a mountain, but it was a beautiful and privileged time in our lives.
I think some kind of fairy tale is here. Since I began, in earnest, my journey to motherhood, I have received visits from two of my MFA professors and one professor Josh and I shared when we were beginning our lives together. They've all read their poems, and in their way, blessed this baby and me.
Monday, August 1, 2011
I Wouldn't Mind Looking Like Her.
Looking over what we find beautiful and what shaped that is interesting. It alters the way we see ourselves, the clothes we pick, and the hair styles we choose. I was usually drawn to soulful, mysterious brunettes, knowing that I'd never be a bombshell or lithe blond. A couple of redheads are here--I must identify with the pale skin.
Carey Mulligan
Where did I first see her? I'd already seen Pride and Prejudice and Bleak House, but I saw her in Vogue, I think, and made a mental note to see An Education. The Greatest and Never Let Me Go have become two of my favorites, and I watched them just because of her. I also credit her with prompting me to read Never Let Me Go, which was incredible. I lent it to Mom, and when she's done with it, it's going in my favorite books cabinet. Plus, Mulligan was in Doctor Who--a freaking scary episode! And she can really rock the pixie.
(Image: The Greatest http://carey-mulligan.net/photos/displayimage.php?album=29&pid=2197#top_display_media)
(Image: Wall Street http://emslj.tumblr.com/). Can I get this whole look please?
(Image: An Education http://regnad.tumblr.com/)
Liv Tyler
I'm not sure when this started though Stealing Beauty is a favorite (I remember seeing the poster at a tiny video store in the town where I grew up, and I thought it must be a very dirty movie). Of course, she's stunning as an elf.
Bryce Dallas Howard
Lady in the Water was such a fascinating fairy tale, and that led me to The Village and so on.
Eva Green
I actually have an aunt who looks just like her minus the harsh edge Green usually has. Josh and I went to see Casino Royale in theaters (we've seen few movies in theaters). I guess that was pretty early on for us.
(Image: http://evagreenlove.tumblr.com/)
Natalie Portman
My middle school/high school boyfriend was in love with her, so I figured she must be the ideal beauty. She is lovely.
(Image: Garden State http://www.listal.com/viewimage/444813)
(Image: http://weheartit.com/entry/12197512)
Rachel Hurd Wood
I can't wait to watch Peter Pan with Oliver. I recognized Wood when Josh and I watched Dorian Gray, and then we finally watched Perfume. Josh has developed a nice little crush. She is haunting in her prettiness, so some of her roles aren't surprising.
(Image: from Perfume http://www.flickr.com/photos/7711591@N04/862640502/)
Rachel Weisz
I must have been about thirteen when The Mummy came out, and I thought Evie was just gorgeous. My favorite movie of hers is probably The Fountain.
(Image: http://www.instyle.com/instyle/package/transformations/photos/0,,20290122_1046230_851173,00.html)
Who helped shape your idea of beauty?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Fairy Clothes: Another Tribute to the Magic Cardigan.
Here's another look at the "magic cardigan." This is from about a year ago when I taught classes last summer. The little ivory buttons in the ruffles on the tank top match the cardigan. These gray and cream heels are not comfortable (I probably couldn't even get them on right now), but boy, are they pretty. I haven't used this bag lately as it's big, and I always fill up a big bag, but I love it. It cost $30, looks far more expensive, and has a zip-up laptop sleeve.
Skirt: The Limited
Tank: Ann Taylor Loft
Cardigan: Ann Taylor Loft
Earrings: Target
Heels: Nine West
Work Bag: Target (Merona)
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