Nourish/Challenge: Week 21.

This past week has been a little chaotic. I had an internal ultrasound because of something the doctor encountered during an exam. I was anxious and rightly so: it hurt. But everything came back normal; the PA called to tell me the next day. I'm still waiting on another set of test results, but I feel like I can shape my days without thinking about it. It's a challenge.

I've been sick on and off, as if I'm constantly fighting something. More disturbing is my continued struggles with reading and writing. I've neglected my blogs as well. I'm trying to get back into my practices. They are vital to my health and to my sense of myself.

I decided to give tea another chance after my experience at the Biltmore. I found apple cinnamon spice. It's pretty good! It makes me feel writerly. Maybe that's what I need--feeling like a writer makes the practice smoother.

On Sunday, I returned to my bathtub-side poetry books. I want to revive that practice.

I hate doing it, but I cut my nails short and painted them glitter pink. I feel happy when I notice.

On Facebook, I copied a call for kind words. My brother said that I'm beautiful, wise, and funny and that I have good taste. What great compliments! I'd tack it on the wall if Oliver wouldn't immediately tear it down. I'm happy to know how James sees me.

Bruce and I went to the penultimate show of the season: Hello, Dolly. It was great fun as I expected. A group of older women came up to us (this was the third time) to appreciate my outfit and tell me I look gorgeous. A surplus of compliments! Normally, I run pretty well on daily compliments from Josh and Bruce. I'll try to keep all the kind words close to my heart. They nourish me. They also challenge me to live up to what the best people think of me.

Best Compliments.

• When I was a child, I told my grandfather that kids had been teasing me about my long neck. He said that my neck was like Audrey Hepburn's.
• Josh said that I show little girls that they can still love glitter and mermaids when they grow up. 
• After much singing together in the car, Bruce said I have a beautiful voice. That's a big one.
• My mom tells me that my blogs, especially Water in a Wine Glass: Learning to Live with Bipolar Disorder, help others deal with their illness.
• Druella, my mom's angel of a friend, said that WWG helps her understand others with mental illness.
• My mom once asked me how I got my hair so shiny.
• A former apartment complex staff member referred to us as "the couple with the cool apartment."
• After Oliver was born, my OB said that she had rarely seen such heart and courage.
• An employee at Ulta called me a makeup ninja.
• My former office mate told me that I was a great storyteller. I've thought about it far too much since.
• My nanna says that Josh and I have a special love.
• After seeing Josh and me together, my dear aunt Brietta said, "You look happy." It came from a place of kindness, acceptance, and grace.
• Bruce says that I have great taste.
• Bruce also told me that I have "storybook hands."
• Josh has called me magic.
• When James was tiny, he said I was "prettier than a duck with a blue bow." I'll cherish that forever.

How to Add Sparkle to Each Day.

• Spill a little glitter on the bed, the floor, bags, and even clothes. Some will be visible now; some will be a surprise later. It seems crazy, but I love finding unexpected glitter in my books and journals.
• Be kind and give sincere compliments. The recipient's face will probably glow.
• Wear shirts or cardigans with glitter, beading, or rhinestones.
• Grab ahold of sparks of ideas. Let them grow into something...a letter, a poem, a collage, a song.
• Wear sparkly jewelry. I often skip this as the last step of getting ready. But I've been wearing costume jewelry more. A rhinestone necklace can completely change an outfit or even a day.
• Use sparkly pens. My AP English teacher always used glitter pens to grade. That was probably how she put sparkle in her day.
• Wear glitter nail polish. I'm always happily surprised when I look at my hands and see the nail polish.
• Wear glittery makeup! I have glittery face powder, body powder, eye shadow, eye liner, and lip gloss. I need to use them. I always feel Sephora or Ulta with hands and arms coated with sparkling samples. 
• Really pay attention to recent compliments others have given. I've started adding amazingly special words from people who love me to my quotation composition books. I can easily flip to the back of the notebook and see those words.