Girls' Trip 2019: Asheville, NC.

I've been to the Biltmore Estate many times with my family, but that was many years ago. When I realized that Josh and Oliver had the same spring break, Mom and I decided to go somewhere, just us.

I managed the drive to Charlotte pretty well. I had not been looking forward to this part of the trip. I drove in a worn blue-gray dress. I wore a pink cardigan. I was excited that the weather was warm enough that I didn't need tights.

Checking into the Village Inn (the less fancy option on the property) went smoothly. We were excited about the window seat. I was a little overwrought, so Mom told me to take a rest while she explored.

We went to a dinner-and-show-style place, Isis. The band was singing Paul Simon and The Beatles. It was pretty good. I drank water deeply from a clean liquor bottle. We left early because I was getting tired--physically, emotionally, and mentally. Mom was clearly looking out for me with her awareness of and patience with me.

I overpacked, but I had what I needed. Warm fleece heart pajamas. Dresses I didn't end up wearing. My Too Faced Glitter Bomb palette. My swimsuit, because who knows? I filled my antique blue train case (from Mom some years ago), which holds jewelry, a pink and gunmetal sparkle makeup bag, medication organizer, and Neutrogena's Clear Face sunscreen. I managed to bring only three pairs of shoes: light blue New Balance trainers, gold glitter slip-ons, and a nearly identical gold-glitter pair but with some heel.

I wore my pajamas to search vending machines for Cherry Coke. The machines kept giving me Coke Zero.

Mom and I went to the fancier Inn and had high tea. We both wore dresses. Mine was lilac with a Queen Anne neckline (which I like best). I ordered a pot of apple strudel as Mom suggested, and with some sugar, it was good! Maybe I'll try tea again. I drank three or four cups. I'd love to like tea.

We walked through the village area. A few small mermaid items, along with a big teal velvet shell-shaped chair, caught my attention, but not like the bag that caught light on a table. Its fellow bags had a similar look but no real appeal. But the one I walked toward was a large satchel-size purse with a removable shoulder strap. The base material was black. The whole bag was covered with shapes (mostly parallelograms) which seemed like dark mermaid scales. The scales were gunmetal gray with wild glitter. The lining was silky plum. I told Mom, "If this bag were $50, I would buy it." It was $92. I left the bag but came back in the evening. Mom said she'd planned to spend a little more on my birthday, and she had a coupon from the hotel--25% off. I got the purse for $37! Incredible. I think I'll use it for a long time, along with some of the other great purses I have. I can fit the usual items plus a book, a journal, and a water bottle!

For dinner on Monday, we had she crab soup, an abundance of mussels for Mom, and an abundance of grilled asparagus for me. That asparagus was so good.

Mom had brought bottled water and tiny bottles of apple juice. We soon learned that the water bottles wouldn't last through the second day.

On Tuesday, we went to the Biltmore. I hadn't been there in some thirteen years. The house was gorgeous as always, and as always, I barely made it up the stone spiral staircase. An exhibit showed mannequins (not scary) in costumes created from period photographs. Mom and I kept choosing and changing our favorites. One cream lace dress was covered with gold polka dots. A servant mannequin held a dress that was black with rose embroidery. Another favorite was an off-the-shoulder, black velvet gown (for a ball?) and a stunning brooch dripping with rubies.

I still want to swim in that pool. But probably not by myself.

We explored the little shops. In the Christmas one, I loved a figure of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, all beautiful and affectionate in a way I've never seen in a nativity scene. It was $50, so I didn't buy it, but I wondered where I could put it. It seems so like a reminder...that Jesus brought and was love and joy? That Mary and Joseph loved each other even after so much hardship. I think I'd like the piece even if I weren't a believer.

Mom kept buying water bottles. I drank them and refilled them with tap water. My thirst is almost like another entity in my life.

We went to The Lobster Trap for our last dinner. We split a giant Caesar salad and each ordered the Alaskan King Crab with potatoes and corn on the cob. It was pretty much perfect.

Back at the hotel, I wanted to read or write, but I was so sleepy. We watched some of October Sky.

On Wednesday morning, Mom trimmed my hair. The ends look much better now.

We went to a sort of petting zoo area that Mom had found. We saw two little brown goats named Cinder and Ella. Of course.

As we left the property, we decided to stop at a little gift shop. I saw many lovely objects. But I saw a silver, slim rectangular pair of earrings that sparkled blue, pink, and lavender. I bought them and wore them two days in a row.

The ride back to Charlotte was smooth and quick...probably because I would keep my mouth shut. The trip to Fayetteville wasn't fun, but I was glad to be home. Apparently, the boys didn't miss me much...so I can go on these trips! Big thanks to all the menfolk who encouraged us to go.

Every time I wear the earrings or go out with the purse, I think about our wonderful days and evenings in Asheville.

Delightful Tasks.

Delight has been my word for 2017. I've been more careful to find delight in the everyday. For example,

• Getting the mail. Often, it's junk, but sometimes a card, catalog, or package comes. The surprise is a delight.
• Sorting my pens. I have several pretty pen pouches, and I have color-sorted mugs. When I start a new journal and choose the colors for it, I put the pens in a small gold pouch. Seeing anything organized by color delights me.
• Putting on makeup. For two days, I used the green eyeliner Mom put in my Christmas stocking. I enjoy matching my makeup to my outfit (colors again!). I try to incorporate as much glitter as I can. There's delight!
• Stickering journals. When I get a new journal, I decorate the interior with stickers. That way, I have surprises--pretty little images--as I write. It motivates me to turn the pages.
• Getting dressed. This used to be one of my favorite tasks for my ob. Now, I've started to think through outfits and accessories in a similar way. .I incorporate sparkle and my favorite colors. I'm overweight right now, but I'm not letting that ruin the delightful ritual of getting dressed.

Delightful Progress.

The year is nearly over, and I have chosen my word of the year for 2018. But before I think about that, I want to think about ways I've touched 2017's word, Delight.

Yesterday, I went to 2nd and Charles with Bruce and sorted through used books of poetry. I've gone through a fair amount of poetry lately, reading all of it aloud. Reading it aloud helps me focus and really experience the poem (even if I don't "get" it). I think that is what warmed me out of a reading freeze. I'm still struggling, but I am making progress.

Bruce bought me a bipolar-disorder-related memoir; now, we're reading it together. I want to be a serious and joyful reader. I've challenged myself to be a bold reader.

I came nowhere near my annual goal to read 52 books. But I did make it half way, 26, despite months of reading trouble. I call that progress. Reading is a delight.

I had trouble with writing too but not as much. I started a new journal on Christmas day. I'm writing in black, gold, and pink. Choosing specific colors for a journal is a delight and a motivator.

I've kept detailed "To-Do Wish Lists" (so called because I don't expect to accomplish everything on the list) to help me focus. Crossing off an item with a pen in that day's color is a delight.

This year, I think my heart has softened. I feel more loving, which is powerfully frightening and delightful. I hope that excess love has delighted someone.

Delight: February and March.

Delight is my word of the year. Am I seeking it enough? Creating it enough? Giving it to others enough? Absorbing it and celebrating it enough? I hope so, but I'm sure I can do more. Here are some tastes of delight from the past month.

• Gold pens that are expensive but write forever.
• Using trendy planner stickers in my journal.
• Only need 5 out of my 20 Amazon subscriptions.
• Looking at an entire magazine. More than one!
• A new "how to be French" book--my guilty pleasure. Some are wonderful; some are terrible.
• Drinking iced mocha in the evening.
• Getting Oliver to eat broccoli (he loves it!).
• So many sticky flags that are characters from books (Thanks, Bruce).
• Watching Oliver dance.
• Oliver's singing Tears for Fears in the bathtub.
• Buying a birthday gift for my mom.
• Josh found vanilla Dippin Dots at the nearby gas station. He came home with 5 pouches.
• Finding Rags and Bones (fairy tale retellings) for $2.50.
• Looking at books with Bruce.
• Taking photos of Josh and Oliver cuddling in their sleep.
• Putting stickers in a teal journal that says, "She leaves a little sparkle everywhere she goes."
• Thinking about what Josh and I will do during his spring break. which will give us time alone at home while Oliver is at school.
• Asking for a love note and getting one.
• Not being too lay to go to the gym with Josh.

Delight! in January and February.

Delight is my word for 2017. So I want to check in and make sure I'm seeking, creating, and noticing it. Here's a small list of delights:

• Writing in a journal with hearts all over the cover. 
• Glitter stickers that make a delightful mess. 
• A large, golden Beauty and the Beast journal I plan to use in March.
• Passengers, a romantic sci-fi movie I loved.
• The Space between Us, also a sci-fi romance that I look forward to seeing again.
• Using a pen with an unexpected shade of pink.
• Seeing a wild musical with Bruce.
• Making plans to see Mom.
• Finding the gorgeous green earrings I'd lost.
• Receiving my first $10 Birchbox so quickly.
• Ibuprofen's immediately wiping out my jaw pain.
• Finding my black top with black beads and gold sequins.
• Allowing myself to watch funny videos on YouTube.
• Watching trailers for new movies I might actually go see.
• Wearing my pretty scarves.
• Oliver's singing and dancing with me to showtunes every morning as I get ready.
• A massage from Josh that can distract me from pain.
• Seeing fewer bills in the mail.
• Two dudes telling me daily that I'm beautiful.
• Dressing up for a show with a black and gold brocade jacket I found for $16 at Old Navy. 
• Josh's putting up tiny glowing stars on Oliver's ceiling and, at bedtime, Oliver's telling me to "Look at the stars!"