Reading Dance Card.

Choosing the books I want to read and in what order reminds me of dance cards--so many slots per event, each dedicated to a dance partner's request.

I'm reading several books at a time. Once I finish one book, I decided whether to replace it or just reduce the number of books I'm reading at once. If I replace the book, I have to choose the next book, probably of the same kind (fiction, non-fiction, poetry...), with careful thought. I only have so many spaces on my current card. But of course, I sometimes choose a book based on whimsy--a spontaneous dance.

I like looking back at the card (via GoodReads, usually) and seeing what I experienced and how pleased I was with my choices. I can't read everything, and I can only read so many books at once. But lately, I've been able to shoulder an usual number. Right now, my card is full with

3 books of non-fiction (autism, hygge, and grief or trauma)
3 suspense novels
3 books of poetry (two small collections and an anthology)

I finished one non-fiction book recently and decided not to replace it. But I love the expanse and variety. I don't read every book every day, but I try to come close. My dance card is full, but that's only for now. I wait for new literary dance partners.

Choosing Happily Ever After.

On the wall by my side of the bed is a collage of cards and other images. Looking at it soothes and excites me.

One item is a deep purple piece of cardstock with a beautiful dimensional gold sticker that says Happily Ever After. Above it are glitter pink letter stickers I Choose.

I love the idea though I'm not totally sure how to do it. My words of the year have helped-invest, delight, restoration.

I choose to live happily ever after with my partner. I'll protect our time together and take joy in the details of him.

I choose to live happily ever after as a mother, cuddling and dancing and paying attention, trying to be grateful no matter what.

I choose to live happily ever after as a reader and writer. I'll try to keep up this good reading season and keep scribbling.

In original fairy tales, terrible things happen, but the ending is the same--enchanted joy. My happily ever after will be more like an ongoing quest than like a destination. I'll have to find a way to choose happiness in the various aspects of my life every day.

Entertain, Educate, and Enrich.

This is a good trio of words. I think everything we experience should accomplish at least one of these tasks, but preferably two or even all of them.

As a teacher, I knew I had to educate my students, but I hoped to enrich their lives as well, simply by giving a worthwhile piece of advice, a clip from a great movie they hadn't seen, a contemporary and accessible poem, or a new insight about themselves. And when I educated well, it didn't end with the course material; I wanted to teach them a few lovely new words, a new confidence in their strengths, and even an understanding of their weaknesses. On lucky days, I think I entertained the students also--making them laugh or forming their essay ideas into a massive web of words on the board. On the best days, I did all three. Of course, I often failed and probably did none of the three. But I like now having the words for what I was trying to do.

Josh can do all three with me. He educates me when I ask; he knows so much on topics about which I know nothing. Our time together enriches my life, even if we're just watching a silly video together. And he entertains me, well familiar with what makes me laugh.

The best books do all three though they educate gently.

I'm not a teacher anymore, but I'm still a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and advocate. I hope to take opportunities to entertain, educate, and enrich through my roles.

Restoration: Week 5.

This past week, I've found small ways to practice restoration (Practice is one of my favorite words). I finished another book, so I'm up-to-date with my reading goal. With practice, I've been restoring my joy, ease, and identity as a reader.

I've been restoring and satisfying my curiosity. I've been reading about hygge and capsule wardrobes, topics that spark my interest.

I've been working on restoring my childhood interest by reading a collection of American Girl stories. I have such happy memories of reading those stories.

I'm restoring and enhancing my love of musical theatre almost every month by attending a show. This past weekend, Bruce and I saw Les Miserables. I'd seen it once before, about 20 years ago. It's another way to stay in touch with my childhood joys. I listened and sang to those songs so much.

Oliver has let me dance and cuddle with him, so we're restoring our connection. Before Les Mis began, Bruce and I looked at newborn Oliver pictures. It's good to remind myself that Oliver is still that sweet baby.

It was a good week for restoration!

A Bold Reader: Week 5.

I finished Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume. Amazingly, it was only my second Blume book. Maybe I'll try another next winter. I wasn't crazy about this one. But I've read 5 books this year!

To replace Tiger Eyes, I've started Felicity's Story Collection. I expect to enjoy it thoroughly, all in one volume that I'll count as one book.

This past week, I started two new short books, one on hygge and another (which I read on my phone) about capsule wardrobes. I've been curious about both topics.

I've kept up with poetry. I think I'll be able to finish one of the books this week. I'm behind on my Bible though. I'll fix that.

I'm also reading a literary suspense (an excellent term that I only learned recently) novel on my phone: The Perfect Girl. Yes, I'm reading a lot of books. I'm loving it.

I read a chunk of Sleeping Beauties with Bruce. It's holding our attention.

Reading on my phone is new. I think I've only read one book that way before these two.

I'm so happy to be reading again.

Why Josh Is Perfect for Me.

• He never makes me feel stupid when I ask obvious questions or show my ignorance.
• He reads poetry.
• He'll sit with me while I watch a scary movie.
• He wears glasses.
• He has curly hair.
• He dresses up for work.
• He's an English professor.
• He's loving and patient when caring for our son is difficult.
• He likes My Fair Lady (one of the first details I learned about him).
• He reads daily.
• He has a brilliant smile.
• He is quick to laugh and make me laugh.
• He loves learning.
• He's curious.
• He has a quick mind.
• He understands maps (I don't!).
• He doesn't mind driving.
• He takes notice of my interests.
• He's always proud of me.
• He has a beautifully-shaped mouth.
• He's helped me study.
• He wants to know what I'm reading.
• He's usually serene.
• He supports my friendships.
• He thinks I'm perfect for him.

A Poetry Fast.

I hear about juice fasts and juice cleanses. I don't know if they are healthy or effective, but I don't think I could try one. An idea came to me though. What about a poetry fast, or even poetry cleanse? No news articles, no blogs, no novels, no memoirs, no stories. I think I have enough poetry in the house to last, and good poetry also welcomes (even demands) rereading.

That kind of immersion is powerful. I feel I'd be a better communicator (reading and writing) in the language of poetry. I think I'd feel lighter. Maybe I would start writing poetry again.

Maybe this year or next year, I'll choose a month and try it. I'd find all my unread poetry books (including the big collections) and set them apart. Josh could bring me books from the college where he works if I started to run low.

Maybe the fall would be a good time. My fall focus is memoirs, and maybe poems are like memoirs. I'd also be pretty secure in my ability to reach my GoodReads goal by that point, so no rushing. October or November (I'm not likely to write a novel in November this year). Of course, I'd still read my Daily Bible, and much of it is like poetry.

I imagine myself emerging from the poetry fast more mentally graceful, more serene, and more courageous (good poetry is usually a bit frightening!). It would also be an experience I'd always remember.