Nourish/Challenge: Week 47.

I had a wonderful, nourishing moment while I was lying down: I had a whole hour ahead in which to read. I was able to get lost in the book. If felt like a luxury, but I know it was also healthy for me.

Bruce and I finished Athena's Choice. It was surprisingly unique and thought-provoking. And we've begun Heart-Shaped Box, a novel that my brother, James, recommended to me. This will be Tiny Book Club pick #28. I've received a lot of nourishment and many challenges from those books, and I love having my best friend to walk though them with me.

Bruce told me a new Little Women movie is coming out on Christmas! The trailer looks good. I'm impressed with some of the cast. Mom said we'll sneak away on Christmas to see the movie. I can't wait! I adore the Winona Ryder version, and I think I may have seen it on Christmas too.

One evening, Bruce and I didn't watch shows or a movie. We watched a few Honest Trailers and just talked, catching up. That fills me.

I began reading IT. Somehow, the length doesn't seem so overwhelming on my phone as it does in physical book form. I think it's going to draw me in, challenging me turn by turn. I stayed up late reading--when did I last do that?

Nourish/Challenge: Week 46.

Time is confusing me. I look at my Google calendar and at the sticky notes in my journal many times a day. Maybe I can start the new year better-oriented.

Thanksgiving was lovely. Josh kept watch over Oliver, so I could talk and listen. James came over and made me laugh as usual. We sat with Mom and Shane around an outdoor fire. I enjoyed the food but didn't overeat--a delicate skill.

At home, I tried to read poetry for an hour. It should have been easier than it was. I'll keep trying.

While Oliver is in the bathroom, I now do wall push-ups, squats, and side bends. I need the exercise, and I want to use the time.

I took a morning bath and loved it. Sometimes just moving an indulgence a bit renews the luxury.

I challenged myself, but nourishment was right there on my path too.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 45.

This past week, I was responsible and got a flu shot. The next day, I felt horrible. The air touching me hurt. I stayed in bed. I couldn't even read. But avoiding the full-on flu is worth that.

I finally received my pre-ordered copy of Strange Planet by Nathan Pyle. It made me laugh out loud many times. I finished it over two days. Count it!

I've also been reading Restoring Sacred Art by our dear friend Joseph Bathanti. I read the poems aloud, some of which I've heard at his readings, and I can almost hear him. Poems, even the tough ones, almost always nourish me.

So I wonder, when will I write another poem?

Nourish/Challenge: Week 44.

Only about eight weeks remain in this year. I'll soon be working with my new word-of-the-year. But I'm going to pack a lot of life into those remaining weeks.

So I've began thinking about Christmas a little. Cinnamon, one of my favorite scents, everywhere. Fireside talks, Glitter glacial blue frosty mini trees. I try to squeeze as much joy as I can out of the holiday. Why not? Extra glitter and snowflakes nourish me. Friends and family have often given me special snowflake ornaments.

I've started wearing my big lilac coat again. I love the coat--it's pretty, and it keeps the cold bearable. Being wrapped up warm is a kind of nourishment.

One of Oliver's therapists is pregnant. Another recently had a baby. I'm happy for them, but I worry about Oliver's team. But we've gotten through challenging changes before.

Recently, I was making Oliver's bed. He started jumping on it. I told him to get down because I was making his bed. He got down, found the two pillows that are usually on his bed, and put them in the right place on the bed. That was such a surprise! Definitely a nourishing moment.

And I've been reading more! I'm still not quick, but I can connect to a story and let it wash over me. It's a challenge, and it fills me. I've actually stayed up late reading some nights.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 43.

I'm running out of time. So much to do before the year ends! Challenges loom.

Oliver has been fine at school. I think he and Mr. C are getting used to each other.

In the waiting room at one of O's therapy places, other moms talked about pregnancy, and I actually chimed in! Bizarre.

Bruce and I finished reading 20th Century Ghosts, and we plan to read one of Joe Hill's novels soon.

I finished three books in one day! That felt great. I felt like myself. I read a novella by Joyce Carol Oates, Black Water, and it was disturbing as much of her work seems to be. Keep it coming. Josh checked it out at the college library and read it, and I asked to read it too. Our reading tastes don't often overlap.

Bruce and I went to the theatre to see A Bronx Tale. As usual, we arrived early, and Bruce got us sodas and snacks (soft pretzel, cheese, fruit). The show wasn't a favorite, but I liked the choreography. I wore a burgundy dress with black floral print, a black cardigan with rhinestone buttons, black sweater tights, black Mary Janes, and my black cape. I love seeing what other people have chosen to wear.

What I Love, Appreciate, and Admire about My Mama: Part 5.

81. She homeschooled me for several years so we could travel with my dad and because I wasn't surviving in school.
82. She created assignments that corresponded with my interests (/obsessions).
83. You could say she likes butter.
84. She has cleaned up my post-surgery vomit and eaten soup immediately afterward.
85. She held a newborn Oliver against my face when I was too weak and encumbered to hold him close. That was the first time I really got to smell him, and I could feel the chemicals in my brain going wild--a this is my baby moment.
86. She accepted the vital task of rubbing my lower back while I was in labor. It must have been exhausting.
87. She encourages me to give myself more grace than judgment.
88. The sound of her voice cracks open whatever i'm trying to deal with in silence. So I cry, which I probably need to do.
89. If I say I may need to go to the mental health ER, she acts fine with it, encouraging me to go on and do what is healthy for me right then or to find someone who can help me figure out what that is.
90. She lights up when she sees me. It's mostly for Oliver but not all.
91. When I was a preteen and teenager, I had extreme acne, and she took treating it seriously.
92. She always finds something to compliment or praise.
93. She tired ribbons around my wrists as bracelets when I wanted to play Snow White.
94. She let me dress up and pretend to be Cinderella when I cleaned the house.
95. We couldn't avoid a museum exhibit of taxidermy animals in imitations of their normal environments. Mom remembered that I'm terrified of that kind of display. She didn't tell me to get it together. She told me to hold onto James's stroller and close my eyes; she led me through. It's one of the best kindnesses anyone has ever shown me.
96. She never tried to ground me from reading or writing. I guess she knew I'd fall apart.
97. She can tell if I'm too nervous, too overwhelmed, or too scared.
98. She went dress shopping with me before I married Josh. She found the perfect earrings for me and the perfect tie for Josh.
99. She loves blow fish.
100. She is the bravest person I've ever known.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 42.

Time is bending and swirling for me. Dates confuse me. But I'll keep trying to tell the stories.

This past week, I got a lot of great time with Josh. We had time on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. We laugh and watch silly videos together. We clean and nap.

I've been trying to stay on track with Google Calendar and bright pink sticky lists. Pink has recently become quite important, even nourishing.

Oliver did fine in speech therapy. He had no trouble going with Ms. H. Whew. He has also been more affectionate lately. I'm not sure why unless it's just because it's that he feels better after his frenectomy. But I'm just so excited that he lets me hug and kiss him.

And our BCBA is so great; she and I meet for about an hour once a week. I'm amazed that she takes the time for that. Apparently, she's amazed that I take the time! It started as a challenge, but now, it's a relief.