Lessons I Learned in 2019.

Surely, 2019 has taught me more than I realize. But this is what I've noticed.

• I learned that I really must not stop reading, even for a day. I slip away from it so easily. 
• I reviewed the importance of theatre for me. In 2019, I saw eight musicals with Bruce. Amazing. And now, I'm not longer a sort of guide; I'm a spectator. 
• I've learned that my Google Calendar is critical. Josh and I have linked calendars. If it's not on the calendar, it probably doesn't exist for me. I try to add appointments and events right away, and I try to review the calendar on my phone a few times a day. BSD (or the accompanying meds) have trashed my short-term memory.
• I found out that time alone together is not only special but also vital. Last June, Josh and I stayed in a hotel (thanks to my dad) for two nights while Oliver stayed with Mom. Josh and I worked on being alone together--so strange now! I want to try again this year. 
• I learned that Josh has talents and capabilities of which I was only vaguely aware. I both ask more of him and praise him more. I'm impressed with him.
• I found that I can get my pets needs with someone else's pets. I've spent some good time with Bruce's cats. I think I've even won over the aloof one.
• I learned that parenting requires love but also courage and determination, even despite pain and fear. I survived Oliver's having surgery (tongue-tie) and my having to perform miserable post-surgery care. 
• I learned that despite everything, a patchwork family can come together to help or to celebrate. Oliver had his six grandparental units for his birthday. Everyone talked, sat together, and simply joined in love for one adorable eight-year-old.
• I learned that I can find professionals who can and will help me, and I can manage changes. My psychiatrist, my therapist, and my primary care doctor have all changed recently (not by my choice), but I think the new ones will be good too. 

2020, please teach me gently!

Nourish/Challenge: Week 52.

This tiny week held the last days of 2019, and the other days scattered somewhere along the year's path. But I had the boys with me, which filled my heart. I skimmed old magazines from my collection, so Oliver could blithely shred them, and Josh could not-so-happily clean up the scraps.

I challenged myself again, in those two days, to read as much as possible. I finished two books: poems by Louise Gluck and a slightly fascinating memoir-through-object-memory by Dawn Raffel (new to me). I'd like to write that kind of memoir. Maybe I will.

Bruce took me to see Cats, which we both enjoyed despite the general negative reception. Cherry Coke+musical+cats+best friend+great nourishment...a great way to finish the year.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 51.

This outing is actually from the week before, but I'll tell you about it now anyway!

The boys and I went to Chilis--we almost never go out to eat, but with the semester ending, I wanted to try to celebrate. I had a burger so good that I barely touched my fries. Oliver ate like a champ--pizza, fries, grilled chicken. He was so well-behaved! He became alarmed when I went to the restroom, and he leaned into me when I came back. He said he wanted to go home, but we got him to wait for the wondrous Paradise Pie. He used a spoon easily (a skill that emerges only when ice cream is involved).  We had a great time. Our team at ABA was so excited about our successful outing.

Christmas was delightful, and I'll write all about it soon!

This last full week of the year, I read many books, I read poetry, short stories, and creative nonfiction, trying to reach my reach my reading my goal for the year.

I finished Heart-Shaped Box for the Tiny Book Club. I read SARK's book on naps, my first book by Thich Nhat Hanh, a volume of short stories, and an illustrated book about New York City fashion. I challenged myself to read as much as I could--it's not easy during the holidays!

And of course, the books and the family cheered and nourished me as we sped toward the new year.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 50.

A highlight of the week was the Christmas celebration with Josh's family. I wore a distressed-gold-sequin jacket. Sparkle makes me more cheerful and confident, as did my mom-in-law's noticing that I'd lost more weight.

The food was excellent. I took advantage of the deviled eggs and shrimp cocktail. And Cherry 7-Up! And I'd been looking forward to Susan's homemade cheesecake! No seconds though.

Josh and I gave our nephew, Harrison, some toy dinosaurs. We thought he would blast off through the ceiling as he shook and declared, "DINOS!!!" I wish we could delight Oliver so effectively! Harrison talked easily and followed Oliver, his quieter cousin, around a bit.

My sister-in-law Sarah made us wish bracelets with a careful choice of colors. We gave photo-rich travel books to Greg and a collection of Bath and Body Works potions in Rose Water and Ivy to Susan. I received a pink fairy candle, Raspberry Sugar body wash, books, and a journal from (who else?) Peter Pauper Press! Someone has been paying attention to my blog!

Apart from throwing one picture frame in the toilet (not a metaphor), Oliver did well. We managed to stay for about three hours! Amazing!

Most social situations are a challenge for me. But I felt...included. I suggested that we take a photo of the sisters. I tried, and I could feel everyone else trying. But really, it was pretty easy, even nourishing.

What Will Be the Word of the Year for 2020?

Have you chosen your word? Choose wisely; this word will be a part of your mind and heart for a whole year (at least!).

I chose my word weeks ago, but I'm not revealing it until New Year's Day. I have decided not to use the weekly update format. I'm going to let the word seep into what I'm already writing. I'm excited.

And I can't wait to find out what your word of the year will be!

Nourish/Challenge: Week 49.

Josh and I finally wrapped gifts. I brought out all the good wrapping, boxes, and bags I could find.

Bruce had taken me to Target, where I bought wrapping including a gorgeous dark blue metallic roll with little glittery ballerina fairies. Perfect. I also got some final gifts and a pair of soft pink pajamas with white reindeer. I've started buying myself pajamas each Christmas.

Bruce and I exchanged gifts. We usually give each other many little gifts. My favorite from him was a blanket--fleecey white on one side and gray with bitsy silver stars on the other.

We kept reading and enjoying Heart-Shaped Box. I feel that my heart for reading has largely recovered--a precious Christmas present.

Nourish/Challenge: Week 48.

I've started to have Christmas thoughts. Josh officially started the season with the first song (starting with three chimes) on Aaron Neville's Soulful Christmas album. The music is a tradition from my family. Perfect. We need to play it more, along with James Taylor's Christmas album, which Josh and I discovered together.

I've been feeling separate from poetry and not just because I'm not writing it. I'm trying to read it silently again. I did finish Joseph Bathanti's Restoring Sacred Art and give it 5 stars on GoodReads.

Oliver had a week of good drop-offs at school. Crowds and rain kept me from getting a report after the last couple days of last week.

I finished Mark Vonnegut's (yes, his son) memoir. It seemed to be about mental illness, but it didn't stay there.

Bruce took me to see Frozen II, which I liked a lot. It was a bit dark. I liked some of the new songs. I think that I like Anna best more and more, but I'm more and more like Elsa. That could be its own post.

I've been enjoying books for our tiny book club. I have a few waiting. Bruce says he doesn't mind my choosing the books for now. We love discovering movies, shows, and books together.

It was mostly a nourishing week. I am challenging myself to stay with poetry and to read as much of it as possible before the year ends.