Unexpected Joys.

• Binge watching Bates Motel by myself.
• Eating sunflower seeds, especially on a long drive with Mom.
• Writing and making collages in a notebook at 3 a.m. next to a dorm entrance.
• Feeling so eager about the mail even though I knew it would hold rejections. It meant I was trying!
• Swimming in a deep lake, treading water for an hour.
• Taking Oliver to speech and occupational therapy and talking about him with his therapists.
• Being a mother.
• The low, dirty pond behind our apartment.
• Draining a pen. I have to find another pen, but I feel accomplished.
• Enjoying True Grit.
• Bruce.
• Journaling for about 16 years off and on--but mostly on. 
• Teaching. I have some great memories.

In My Makeup Bag.

 I love makeup. It helps me be confident, and it's another way to be expressive and creative. Of course, I wish everything had glitter in it. This bag is too small for my eyeshadow palettes, but it holds most of what I use each day.

The bag itself is beggining to fall apart. It's gunmetal-glitter gray with whirling musical notes (peeling) hot pink accents. I bought it maybe 13 years ago. It was connected to VH-1's Save the Music. The bag may not last much longer.

But the contents! Some hair clips, hair ties and bobby pins have sunk to the bottom along with a sewing kit's pair of tiny scissors.

Face

L'Oreal's True Match Powder in Neutral Soft Ivory. I've been wearing this instead of foundation this summer.

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunscreen 55.

An eyeshadow brush and a crease brush. I've completely gotten over little sponge eyeshadow applicators. I use a brush or clean fingers.

A sparkly pink Too Faced eye pencil sharpener.

Lips

A sample of Benefit Benetint, which I use as lip stain.

Revlon Balm Stain in Honey (mauve-ish pink) and Romantic (red). I often wear one of these over the Benetint.

Nars lip pencil sample in Cruella (red).

Fresh Sugar Tinted Lip Treatment in Ruby (best lip balm line I've tried).

Eyes

Purple eyelash curler

Buxom mascara sample (love it).

Cover Girl eyeshadow quad in Breathtaking Blues. Great sparkle!

Ulta Glitter Eye Top Coat in Fairy Princess (wildly glittery champagne) and Gold Digger (bright metallic gold).

Sephora mini turquoise sparkle shadow sample.

Ulta Gold glitter eyeliner

Stila Smudge Stick eyeliners in Triggerfish (gunmetal silver) and Tetra (just-right purple).

Urban Decay eyeshadow single in Uzi (so much silver glitterr!)

Revlon Diamond Lust eyeshadow in Starry Pink

Nyx Roll-On Shimmer in Onyx (gray/black sparkle), Light Blue, Purple, and Mauve Pink. They are so easy to apply (and correct) as eyeshadow. Roll it on, perfect it with your fingers, and you're done. I've really only seen Nyx at Ulta, and they're under $5.

What makes other people's makeup bags so interesting?

Quick Thoughts on Spreading Glitter.

At 16, I often sprinkled glitter into my bag, books, and journal. Just seeing those glints in random places (oh, how they travel!) reminds me that life is worth living and that wonderful experiences and objects exist.

My marshmallow body glitter makes me feel beautiful because I'm sparkly and sweetened.

I have a small white box that contains most of my glitters in little jars and bottles. I can pick a glitter for the day and blow it like a kiss.

How I Want to Travel.

I recently had the great idea that Mom and I should go to Paris someday, just us. She would be braver and more informed than I. We could skip this and spend forever on that. She said she couldn't go until my stepdad Shane got to go. I wish Paris trips were unlimited! We could all go together too, and the traveling companions would make each trip different.

I got to go see Phantom twice in one year. Shows can feel like traveling. I used to be kind of obsessed with time travel.

I'd like to do a road trip of sorts...focused on bookstores (chain and independent) and aquariums. I would buy at least one book in each state, and I would scribble or even write stories in every aquarium. I don't know who would want to join that. Maybe Josh would.

I used to enjoy packing. Now, it's stressful, but I used to love selecting what I'd have with me on a plan or in a hotel room. I had to have a notebook. That's still true.

Messes That Suggest a Full Life.

A dashed stack of books suggesting that someone tried to add one book too many or upset the stack while removing a certain volume.

A spread or pile of pens--someone has been admiring the collection or searching for a certain color and texture or effect to use for that moment's writing.

Glitter on the counter from making a miniature relaxation jar.

A spread of rejected clothes for a safe, meaningful job.

Family mess mixed in with personal or creative work, like a photo and design clippings.

Sticky notes, notebooks, binders, pens, highlighters, index cards--a mess from working to learn.

My "house purse" spilling magazines, markers, sticky flags, clippings, books...the rations for my spirit and mind. I have plenty of stores to replenish the bag. But first, I have to be present for that steady feast.

Excitement.

• Rock concerts--anticipation!
• Shows--costumes, the orchestra tuning up
• Oliver's voluntarily cuddling with me
• The text message sound on my phone
• The crack of opening a soda can
• Sonic--those big drinks!
• Recognizing an actor
• Updating Bruce on everything
• Going out to shop or explore with Mom
• Seeing someone open a gift from me
• Seeing books on writing
• Fairy tale retellings
• Playing on GoodReads
• The mail
• Doctor Who
• Starting a movie with Bruce
• Cine Barre 
• Shirley Temples
• Arrival of food at a restaurant
• Seeing Mom's new crafts
• The intro of "The Phantom of the Opera" and "The Beauty Underneath"
• The coming Beauty and the Beast movie
• Most Disney stuff.

Creative To-Do List.

• Find an easily accessible place for my illustrated fairy tales and art books.
• Write in one of my composition books all the quotations I've marked in special books.
• Go on another coloring date with crayons and colored pencils at the library. Bruce and I did this a couple of weeks ago.
• Revise Essential Showtunes playlist on Spotify.
• Put stickers in the journals I'll use soon.
• Continue to watch movie musicals regularly.
• Go places that push me to be a reader and a writer, such as Barnes, Paper Source, Michaels...just looking around can spark something.
• Work on my design scrapbook with all its beautiful rooms.
• Spend 15 minutes a day on Pinterest. Let the images flow over me.
• Keep creating a special, quiet space in the guest room.