A Sampling of What I Get Excited About.

• Putting on makeup the next day.
• Brushing my hair (so I can use the Belle brush Bruce gave me).
• Checking the mail even though it's mostly bills and junk.
• Hearing the crack and pop of opening a can (even if it's not mine).
• Feeling touch so soft most people would giggle.
• Hearing the terrible crunching sound as Josh uses his mangled key when he comes home.
• Seeing bits of my hair curl in the heat.
• Seeing frogs when I'm on a night walk.
• Trying to believe that my car and my iPod talk to each other.
• Feeling proud of a dinner I merely warmed.
• Getting Oliver to eat baby carrots.
• Inhaling the smell of an airplane's interior.
• Correctly guessing what Oliver is saying.
• Getting Oliver ready for his first day of preschool.

A Little Perspective.

Like most of you, I've seen the photo of the wounded boy in Syria and the video of him and the rescue worker who brought him to the ambulance. Since it's become a controversy, I won't post it here, but I do want to share how it has adjusted my attitude a bit.

My sweet boy was diagnosed with autism early this year. I felt so ignorant; I didn't know what to do for him. But I've done more paperwork in the last several months than I've done, probably, in all my life. I threw applications and packets in several directions, hoping someone would answer. Oliver has been in speech and occupational therapy for a few months. And we recently found out he was placed in an Early Intervention special education preschool that is at an elementary school minutes from our house. It was such a relief, and it seemed like the best option at this point.

But school begins two weeks from yesterday, and I've been aching at the thought of leaving my child with people I don't know and without the skills to do simple tasks like pay for a carton of milk in the cafeteria. My own lower school experiences were pretty miserable for me and for my parents, likely the result of separation anxiety and social anxiety. I'm scared of this happening to Oliver.

But this morning, some new thoughts formed as I saw that photo of that little boy. Oliver will be without me and Josh, but we are safe, and one of us (or someone else we trust) will be there to pick him up every day. He doesn't have to wonder if he's alone. I pray for kind teachers and assistants who will notice his needs and help him. He will be in a clean space that is a cool shelter from the blistering heat. It will be a colorful space full of so much that will be delightfully new to him rather than frighteningly new. I hope he will learn to be excited about his school.

I hope I will too.

A List of Lists I Should Make.

This is silly since many of my posts are lists. They make me feel more imaginative and structured and more creative and energized. So here are some ideas I may use for future list entries:

• Reasons I married Josh.
• Brief descriptions of every place I've lived since I left my parents' home.
• Favorite movies with one-sentence justifications.
• My favorite fictional characters.
• Memorable clothes--pieces of clothing with strong associations.
• Important colors and how they affect me.
• Reasons I should start eating breakfast again. 
• Favorite names and the characters they conjure.
• Things I can't stand.
• What I feel I'm always waiting for.
• Color coding ideas.
• Questions I'd ask God.
• My favorite toys of Oliver's.
• My own life hacks (enchantments!)
• Strange ways I've fallen asleep.
• People who have challenged me.

What are some lists you'd like to see on this blog?

Surprising Favorites.

• Museum-ish gift shops
• Oliver's colorful little plastic bowls--great for setting out Oliver snacks
• My Ariel jacket--gray with teal stitching
• Oliver's loud singing 
• Blackberry ginger ale saved for when I have a stomach ache
• Dropping ice because Oliver loves rushing to retrieve it
• Boys who like books (but I'm booked)
• Figuring out school uniforms and lunches
• Buying school supplies that aren't for me
• Pretty paper straws (they don't fall apart!)
• Jennifer McMahon
• Eyeliner that is still on my wrist almost a week after I tried it on
• Talking about makeup while I'm shopping
• Hearing about what Oliver did and learned when I wasn't with him
• Having set up and corrected appointments
• Finding a cold water bottle in the fridge

LTs: Literary Tasks.

LTs help me focus. They keep me connected to some of my most important selves: the reader and the writer.

• Pages: I sometimes assign myself a number of pages to fill in my journal each day. Lately, it's been two, regardless of the journal's size. I try to push beyond that though.
• Chapters: Right now, I'm reading three books at once. My goal is to read one chapter (or essay or story) from each book every day. It's not overwhelming, even if I'm not crazy about the book. And I can always read more of something else when I'm caught up.
• Quotations: I mark special lines and passages when I read. Later, I go back and write those down in one of my quotation books. I save the best of the books I read this way. I'm quite behind on this LT!
• Prompts: I use prompts I make up or find, write them at the top of a future journal page, and respond to them later.

Unexpected Joys.

• Binge watching Bates Motel by myself.
• Eating sunflower seeds, especially on a long drive with Mom.
• Writing and making collages in a notebook at 3 a.m. next to a dorm entrance.
• Feeling so eager about the mail even though I knew it would hold rejections. It meant I was trying!
• Swimming in a deep lake, treading water for an hour.
• Taking Oliver to speech and occupational therapy and talking about him with his therapists.
• Being a mother.
• The low, dirty pond behind our apartment.
• Draining a pen. I have to find another pen, but I feel accomplished.
• Enjoying True Grit.
• Bruce.
• Journaling for about 16 years off and on--but mostly on. 
• Teaching. I have some great memories.

In My Makeup Bag.

 I love makeup. It helps me be confident, and it's another way to be expressive and creative. Of course, I wish everything had glitter in it. This bag is too small for my eyeshadow palettes, but it holds most of what I use each day.

The bag itself is beggining to fall apart. It's gunmetal-glitter gray with whirling musical notes (peeling) hot pink accents. I bought it maybe 13 years ago. It was connected to VH-1's Save the Music. The bag may not last much longer.

But the contents! Some hair clips, hair ties and bobby pins have sunk to the bottom along with a sewing kit's pair of tiny scissors.

Face

L'Oreal's True Match Powder in Neutral Soft Ivory. I've been wearing this instead of foundation this summer.

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunscreen 55.

An eyeshadow brush and a crease brush. I've completely gotten over little sponge eyeshadow applicators. I use a brush or clean fingers.

A sparkly pink Too Faced eye pencil sharpener.

Lips

A sample of Benefit Benetint, which I use as lip stain.

Revlon Balm Stain in Honey (mauve-ish pink) and Romantic (red). I often wear one of these over the Benetint.

Nars lip pencil sample in Cruella (red).

Fresh Sugar Tinted Lip Treatment in Ruby (best lip balm line I've tried).

Eyes

Purple eyelash curler

Buxom mascara sample (love it).

Cover Girl eyeshadow quad in Breathtaking Blues. Great sparkle!

Ulta Glitter Eye Top Coat in Fairy Princess (wildly glittery champagne) and Gold Digger (bright metallic gold).

Sephora mini turquoise sparkle shadow sample.

Ulta Gold glitter eyeliner

Stila Smudge Stick eyeliners in Triggerfish (gunmetal silver) and Tetra (just-right purple).

Urban Decay eyeshadow single in Uzi (so much silver glitterr!)

Revlon Diamond Lust eyeshadow in Starry Pink

Nyx Roll-On Shimmer in Onyx (gray/black sparkle), Light Blue, Purple, and Mauve Pink. They are so easy to apply (and correct) as eyeshadow. Roll it on, perfect it with your fingers, and you're done. I've really only seen Nyx at Ulta, and they're under $5.

What makes other people's makeup bags so interesting?