What You May Not Know about Me.

1. One side of my cupid's bow is higher than the other. I used the think I was applying lipstick incorrectly (consistently), but that's just the shape of my lip.
2. One of my ears is higher than the other, so my glasses always look crooked.
3. As a child, I liked hiding notes for other children, such as in bed and breakfast hiding spots.
4. My favorite vegetables are broccoli, asparagus, and green beans. 
5. I keep obsessive monthly to-do lists and must check off at least half of the (approximately 360) items before the month ends.
6. My teeth were enormously crooked, and I didn't get braces until I was sixteen.
7. I drink over 7.5 liters of water a day.
8. I've never touched an iPhone.
9. I have hundreds of pens.
10. Many of my cute socks are so old that the elastic no longer holds them up.
11. My first favorite song was "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel (when I was little).
12. My second favorite song was "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx.
13. The first three times I saw The Phantom of the Opera were spaced eight years apart: age 8, age 16, and age 24.
14. For two months of my life, I vacuumed every day I was home.
15. I keep eyeliners in an artist's pen folio (I quickly realized that it wouldn't hold a fraction of my pens).
16. I don't care for yellow or orange.
17. I usually choose two colors to use in my journals, and I alternate them each day. For example, in my next journal, I'll start with a green pen and then use a purple pen the next day. Then, I'll go back to green. I used to use more colors, but it was a lot to keep up with. The colors are based on the design of the journal. The alternating colors help me find old entries more easily.
18. Cinderella is my favorite Disney movie, but I have nothing in common with Cinderella.
19. If two of my selves met, they would probably not become friends. But they might enjoy sitting near each other and observing each other in silence.
20. I have a clinging preference for college-ruled paper.
21. Though I've never really been a pencil person, I like the idea of pencils. I almost never use them.
22. After a long life without watermelon, I discovered just this year that I like it.
23. I have a mildly runny nose at all times. It's annoying.
24. I do not use bullet journals or journals with perforated pages under any circumstances.
25. I use journals with recycled paper under only the rarest circumstances. 
26. I strike through my Z's and 7's. 
27. I write my lowercase a's two different ways, and no pattern appears.
28. I keep some of my makeup in a bin labeled Scarves. 
29. I'm typing this while wearing open gloves with Jane Eyre passages printed on them.
30. I have never lit a match.

My Top 10 Def Leppard Songs.

1. "Hysteria"
2. "When Love and Hate Collide"
3. "Rock On"
4. "To Be Alive"
5. "Promises"
6. "Now"
7. "Waterloo Sunset"
8. "Long, Long Way to Go"
9. "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad?"
10. "You're So Beautiful"

My Top 10 Journey Songs.

1. "Send Her My Love"
2. "When I Think of You"
3. "Trial by Fire"
4. "Open Arms"
5. "When You Love a Woman"
6. "Ask the Lonely"
7. "If He Should Break Your Heart"
8. "Mother, Father"
9. "Separate Ways"
10. "All That Really Matters"

My Top 10 Showtunes.

This was not easy.

1. "The Phantom of the Opera" from The Phantom of the Opera
2. "If I Can't Love Her" from Beauty and the Beast
3. "With One Look" from Sunset Boulevard
4. "For Forever" from Dear Evan Hansen
5. "Prima Donna" from The Phantom of the Opera
6. "Helpless" from Hamilton
7. "Light" from Next to Normal
8. "I'll Cover You (Reprise)" from Rent
9. "'Til I Hear You Sing" from Love Never Dies
10. "Ring of Keys" from Fun Home

50 Favorite Books.

1. Jane Eyre
2. Dangerous Angels by Francesca Lia Block
3. Sense and Sensibility
4. The Phantom of the Opera
5. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
6. The Complete Book of Flower Fairies
7. Living a Beautiful Life by Alexandra Stoddard
8. Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards
9. A Little Princess
10. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
11. Little Women
12. Necklace of Kisses by Francesca Lia Block
13. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
14. Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle 
15. Love Walked In by Marisa de los Santos
16. The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen
17. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
18. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
19. Snow & Rose by Emily Winfield Martin
20. Choosing Happiness by Alexandra Stoddard
21. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
22. From the Bones Out by Marisa de los Santos
23. Ghost Girl by Amy Gerstler
24. Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger
25. Blue Beyond Blue by Lauren Slater
26. The Best Small Fictions 2017
27. Life is Meals by James and Kay Salter
28. It by Stephen King
29. Making a Literary Life by Carolyn See
30. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver
31. Delicate Edible Birds by Lauren Groff
32. Eight Cousins
33. Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
34. Ruby by Francesca Lia Block
35. The Good Earth
36. The Hours by Michael Cunningham
37. The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo by Amy Schumer 
38. Imaginary Friend by Stephen Chboksy
39. A Fine Romance by Susan Branch
40. Breakfast at Tiffany's
41. Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link
42. The World Doesn't End by Charles Simic
43. How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff
44. An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
45. Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli
46. How to be Parisian Wherever You Are by Audrey Berest, et al.
47. The Night Sister by Jennifer McMahon
48. Fahrenheit 451
49. The Catcher in the Rye
50. Contagion by Erin Bowman

30 Selfish Wishes.

1. The perfect free house with space for a guest room, a study, and a playroom. 
2. The perfectly equipped backyard with a swing set and slide and a trampoline.
3. Help from the Innovations Waiver, now (no ten-year wait!).
4. A cure for me.
5. A gradual cure for Oliver.
6. A cure for Josh.
7. Perfect skin.
8. A steady weight of 125 pounds.
9. Naturally black, curly hair.
10. Perfect teeth.
11. Perfect eyesight. 
12. Cooking ability and joy.
13. Better reading focus.
14. Icy cold drinking water any time, anywhere. 
15. Three hours a day for reading.
16. Three hours a day for writing.
17. Oliver's sleeping through the night in his own room.
18. A part-time secretary for paperwork and submissions. 
19. Unlimited supply of the retired Dark Stardust Sakura Gelly Roll pens.
20. Unlimited supply of returning and new prestige Hard Candy cosmetics (currently converted to a Wal-Mart brand).
21. Unlimited PB Teen furniture, bedding, and decor. 
22. A Madame Alexander 10-inch Cisette Jo Goes to New York Trunk set.
23. A Madame Alexander 10-inch Cisette Jane Eyre doll.
24. Unlimited money to buy gifts for people I love (or just like). 
25. Unlimited online classes with Francesca Lia Block.
26. Miss Katie (our OT) as a part-time nanny.
27. Money to get us through a Ph.D program for Josh.
28. Unlimited Loft clothes.
29. A free new Honda for Josh.
30. Annual shows on Broadway. 

Last Day of 34.

Every year on the day before my birthday, I think about what I've accomplished or experienced over the past year. Have I earned another year? At 34, I 

• read 43 books
• read 6 books to which I gave 5 stars on GoodReads
• homeschooled a child with special needs for weeks despite the fact that it literally almost killed me
• participated in remote learning including sticker math, pirate art, and superhero workouts
• conducted occupational therapy sessions with telehealth
• spoke up about my need to go to the hospital despite many good reasons to lie about it
• wrote about hospital stay and shared experience
• tolerated medication increase with side effects
• went out alone after hospital release
• saw 4 musicals, all new to me
• celebrated 7 years of buddyship
• paid off a large lingering cost of Oliver's therapy
• paid off all but one credit card
• wrote 62 blog posts
• wrote my first short story in forever
• lost 30 pounds
• said, "I love you," to someone new