As a Parent (with a Guest Writer!).

Josh and I worked on this together.

Josh:

As a parent, I want to be sure that 

• Oliver can see himself in others.
• Oliver knows that I love him even if he’s never able to understand what the words mean.
• Oliver can express his emotions in healthy ways.
• The world Oliver inherits doesn’t break his heart as much as it breaks mine.
• Oliver can recognize fear and not feel that he must react to it with anger or violence.
• I want to be sure that Oliver can interrogate his own emotions.
• Oliver knows that he’s not the only one who is afraid of the noises, sights, and sensations around him.
• Oliver can express his feelings of affection. 
• I want to be sure that Oliver sees beauty in the world and understands that it must be protected.
• Oliver understands that when I die, I didn’t abandon him and that I didn’t want to leave him.

Me:

As a parent, I want to be sure that

• Oliver never feels a lack of affection from me.
• I give Oliver as many hugs and cuddles as he needs.
• Oliver knows about my illness in a way that makes him more aware and more compassionate.
• As much as possible, I fill his mind with beautiful thoughts and memories.
• Oliver grows to love books and reading.
• Oliver eats enough (a tough one!).
• Oliver learns how to be kind to others.
• Oliver accepts his autism and does not get discouraged.
• Oliver always feels loved and supported.
• I do all I can to help him choose and be a respectful, gentle, and loving partner.
• I help him lead a substance-free life until he is old enough to have alcohol in moderation. 
• I say no only when it really matters.
• I teach him the value of patience by letting him wait.
• I learn him learn to appreciate and moderate his emotions. 
• He knows how much people love him.
• He knows he can tell me anything.