Purest Joys.

As a child, I often experienced such innocent and pure joy and anticipation. Exuberant excitement. I want to revisit that experience and maybe learn to bring it back into my life Some of these joys have stayed with me.

• Finding wild violets. They don't stay long, but they're my favorite flower.
• Paper dolls. I loved (and love) fairy tale and American Girl paper dolls. I think Mom got excited about them with me. I remember digging in a bin of coloring books and paper dolls at Davis-Kidd. I think I had one set of Victorian mice. The smallness and the tiny details made me swoon.
• Looking at Dolls. Mom and used to go to Lindsey's Doll Cottage in TN and a toy store in Charlotte primarily to get a close look at Madame Alexander dolls (and look for Tasha Tudor books...but that's a different post). I could gaze and gaze. I remember seeing a 10" Jo March doll with a loaded trunk. I've wanted it ever since, but I've never been able to find it. Still, I like remembering.
• Buying a new showtunes CD. I would save up enough money for the tape, and Dad would pay the rest to get a superior (and fairly new) CD. I always went to the showtunes or Karaoke section at Media Play. Many years ago, my supervisor at Borders teased me because I was so excited when the Broadway soundtrack for The Little Mermaid arrived.
• Shopping for stickers and rubber stamps with Nanna. Those were some of my happiest times. I thought about how I would decorate my school folders and my love letters. I still have a wonderfully outrageous sticker collection, which I usually use in my journals. I still get excited when I see stickers at a store, even a grocery store.
• Going to shows, though I think my wildest reactions had a tinge of mania. Those are some of the most important memories of my life.
• Using makeup. I first saw makeup as a way to hide my blemishes (so I could stand to be out in the world--at least everyone would know I was trying to spare them the sight of my face) or as a means of transforming, for example, into Aladdin's princess. Years later, I realized that makeup is a wonderful way to express myself, experiment, and have fun.
• Hunting for antiques. While this interest didn't really follow me into adulthood, I remember the thrill of musty antique shops. I looked for accessories for my dress-up play, such as a pair of white gloves on which I spent all my money. I loved antique school books. Josh shared that interest.
• Playing with American Girl dolls. Christmas was a time for doll clothes and accessories. And the dolls had stories, which I checked out from the library. I packed their bags when we went on trips, which we did often when I was around that age. I could look and look at the catalog, circling the codes for items I wanted most. And I still get the catalog! Mom has taken me to the AG store, and it seems so wonderful. I might have lost my mind (haha) if the store had existed back then.

I can learn from my childhood and teenage self. I can revisit old joys and seek out new ones.