Stillness & Attention: Week 1.

Day 1: I went to A Christmas Story at DPAC with Bruce. That kept my attention, and I barely noticed that it was my first no-buy day.

Day 2: I wished we had bought an inexpensive white bookcase last week--oh well. We were going to fill it with my special magazines and Josh's Charlotte Hornets memorabilia. Maybe we'll do that next year. I did think that one purchase we probably will make this summer is a new white dresser. Our dresser is falling apart a bit, so a new one is becoming a need. We may have a little extra money in the summer because Josh will teach a class or two, and we won't be paying tuition.

I finished reading my first book of 2022: 13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson. It's a YA novel about a girl who goes on a sort of scavenger hunt adventure in Europe. It was sweet and fun. I tried to place a hold on the sequel, but the library said I'd reached the maximum number of holds. :(

Day 3: I look forward to the magazines and stickers I know are coming in the mail. I'm so excited about Valentine's Day stickers from my subscriptions, something I decided to keep this year.

I felt the urge to shop online, so I channeled that into something practical: some pieces for Josh to wear to work. He needs them though he might disagree--he rarely agrees to buy any clothes. But he doesn't have a lot of work clothes, some of them are wearing out, and he will teach more in-person classes this spring. And the colors will cheer me (and hopefully him). I also hope that his wearing clothes I got for him will remind him of my love. Today, he's wearing a teal shirt I bought for him last year. Okay, I also bought him a pair of jeans because he doesn't have any casual pants that aren't for running. This is a more selfish purchase (he looks so cute in jeans), but it's still justifiable. I bought Josh a coat last year--he didn't have one! 

Everybody has the clothes they need now. I think we'll have to start from scratch with Oliver when the weather warms though. I'm hoping to make friends at Once upon a Child before then.

I went to the library, where I returned two books and checked out five! Four of them were holds, so now I can place MORE HOLDS! My library book bin is overflowing. I may be overestimating my reading speed and efficiency, but I plan to rise to the occasion. 

Day 4: I ordered a couple of things Josh needs for his office. I wanted to buy Oliver a cute new Joyce Wan book, but I decided to wait until I have Amazon points. Oliver is home for the week doing virtual learning to minimize post-holiday COVID risk at school. So he is here with his ABA technician. I just found out that she is leaving in the next couple of weeks. This is extremely depressing and alarming as she is integral to Oliver's school experience. This makes me want to distract myself with pretty things. But they'll have to be pretty things I already own. 

This feels dimmer at the moment, but we did get wonderful news that Oliver is getting a disabilities grant to help with spring tuition. Still, I'm sticking to NoBuy2022. This will give us a chance, I hope, to pay off some medical bills, pay down debt, and maybe think about getting Josh a car that actually works. But I'm really down today, which makes my goals a lot harder. I don't feel up to reading. I'll have to return some library books late, which I hate doing. They're due on Thursday, but I'm still working on three of them. I need to finish at least one more book this week to stay on schedule for 100 books this year.

I used a gift card to buy a 99-cent Kindle book, The Quickening, which looks like a supernatural thriller. A gift I requested for Josh and my wedding anniversary arrived. I didn't open it; I'll look forward to it until February 16!

Day 5: I've been unsubscribing from promotional E-mails and text messages for two weeks. I can't believe how many I get. Bath and Body Works sent me an E-mail about $4.95 candles, but instead of going to the site, I unsubscribed. I saw a Facebook ad for a BlendJet, which looks awesome. I did not buy it. I did fantasize about grape, strawberry, and orange smoothies. Mmm.

I did spend an unpleasant amount on medical-grade N95 masks. They, along with our shots, seemed to protect us in New York, so I want to have them whenever we leave the house but especially for errands, appointments, and performances. I'm looking forward to MST3k Live at DPAC at the end of the month for Josh's birthday. I bought tickets last summer.

I got a free First Reads Kindle book as I do each month. I chose a middle-grade book, The Night Burns Bright. Winter is my season for children's lit, so I hope to read the book soon. I realized that I can't renew The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo because someone has placed a hold on it. So I'm trying to read the book over the next couple of days. I don't want to make someone wait longer for it. But also on the book front, I found out that the library has ordered two of the books I requested! And I can now place holds for any book in the NC Cardinal system! I feel like I can get a hold of just about any book I want. More purchase requests to come...

Day 6: I finished The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and returned it! I read a 400-page book in two days, which is amazing for me. It also shows me that I can read extensively. So I'm now at two books for the week and on track with my goal. I did return one book and check out four more...

I used a gift card to buy two Kindle books, Today a Woman Went Mad in a Supermarket (short stories) and Serendipity (YA stories, including one by a favorite, Anna-Marie McLemore). I should have checked the library first. I've got to solidify that habit. I do it well in bookstores, searching the catalog on my phone. Today was Amazon subscription day: TP, razors, shave gel, Sparkling Ice, and Burt's Bees (I'm switching to Burt's Bees from the awesome but much more expensive Fresh Sugar Advanced Therapy balm). I skip as many subscriptions as possible each month. I won't need many of these next month. I'm being careful not to overbuy (I ended up with about five boxes of trash bags at once last year).

Josh picked up my meds today, and we're back to paying copays after having met our out-of-pocket maximum last year. But luckily, most of my prescriptions are $5. We'll soon be feeling Oliver's $150 a week copays for therapy. I've not gotten any new information on that grant, but if it works out and if he gets it again next year, that will be a big change for us. If he does get it for next year, I'd like to try to buy Josh a car in August. We can save up a down payment until then and trade in his clunker that doesn't always start and sometimes stalls at busy intersections (after $1,000 of work). 

Day 7: Josh is at the Y playing basketball. We decided to keep our membership for now. Josh uses the gym and courts, and we sometimes go swimming as a family on the weekends. Oliver is going to need that because his school has decided to have another week of virtual learning. I understand why (COVID cases within and in general), but Oliver needs to be back in school. 

He had a meltdown last night (pictures, Christmas tree, TV, fan, dust vac, my pens, and more went down), and I think it was just because he's sick of being at home. I don't blame him. And Josh is working a lot this week. Hopefully, next week will be better for Oliver and me because Josh will be home more. It's easier to be still and attentive when Josh is around. I tried to stay still and attentive during Oliver's meltdown, responding but not reacting. He attempted to tear up the tree but did not succeed. I think I'm about ready to put away Christmas. I had planned on keeping everything up until January 11, which is when Bruce's tree gets picked up. But now, it's just something else for Oliver to knock over when he's mad. Still, I'm thankful that meltdowns now come a couple of times a month instead of a few times a week. Let's hope that continues. 

Another piece of good news is that we will have a new ABA (applied behavior analysis--autism treatment) RBT (registered behavior technician, who works directly with Oliver 30 hours a week) next week. She will shadow the current RBT and/or our BCBA (board-certified behavior analyst, who supervises the RBT) for four days. I'll have a lot of people at my house. I guess I'll really get to know the new RBT. I hope Oliver will bond with her before they go back to school together.

I found a journal I really want on the Strand Book Store's website. I'm a little obsessed with the bookstore. But what business did I have looking at the website? Okay, at first I was reading the history of the place. I'll tell Josh I want the journal for my birthday. He may tire of hearing that!

We have had a mess of prescription bottles on our counter. I have a decorative box with most of my meds, but I keep my afternoon meds out for easy access. I wanted to buy decorative boxes for Josh's and Oliver's meds, and I thought maybe I could buy a separate pill box for my afternoon meds. Well, I found an old pill box, and I cleaned off two pretty boxes! One box is black and gold with some of my favorite words: All is calm; All is bright. Bruce gave me that box one Christmas, and I didn't have anything in it. I also remembered that I have two white boxes in which I kept reading glasses and pen refills. So I combined them and had an extra box! Now, our counter is free of pill bottles. Using what I have felt good.

I had some intense mood swings today, but I did not comfort myself by shopping. Josh's presence calmed me down, and he did say he placed an order with Strand today.