Day 1: I haven't felt well today, and my mood has been anxious. I did take a much-needed, soothing bubble bath, using up my Winterberry Wonder gel. I also lay down and read Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears while Josh took Oliver to the park. While there, Oliver greeted a boy he recognized from ABA and even responded to a fist bump. He also said bye without prompting. Maybe he's growing socially.
I did write a poem today: "Cleaning," which may become part of the collection of poems I'm writing about raising Oliver.
Day 2: I had a hard time going to sleep last night, but I did read more. So far, my favorite story in the book is "The Beast" by Tanith Lee--kind of a mix of Beauty and the Beast and Bluebeard. It's always fun to read Joyce Carol Oates stories in anthologies like this. She does it all. I read her journals years ago as research for the seminar I taught during my MFA graduating residency. Her stories are much darker than the thoughts she records! I'd like to read more journals. I've always meant to read May Sarton's journals. The best book I've read about journaling is The Hidden Writer by Alexandra Johnson. I should read it again.
This morning, I'm looking at the art of Christian Schloe. I have a couple of her prints; I'd have more if I had wall space! She's my newest favorite artist. Other favorites are Kinuko Y. Craft, Amy Brown, Mary Blair, Stephen Mackey, Molly Harrison, and SARK. And I do still love Lisa Frank.
I've read fourteen books this year. I'd like to be further along, but it's okay; I'm still three books ahead of schedule according to Goodreads. This is my seventh week without spending frivolous money. This week, Josh and I will celebrate Valentine's Day and our fifteenth wedding anniversary. One of his classes won't meet on Monday (Valentine's), so we may get to spend the whole school day together. We'll spend the morning of our anniversary together too. I've given him a couple of presents, including a map-drawing activity set and a doodle book by the Strange Planet artist. Josh showed me some of his drawings this morning. He's another of my favorite artists.
Today, I finished reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet to the boys. I started reading Many Waters but switched to Peter Pan and Wendy, which I want to read before my winter children's lit focus ends.
Day 3: Valentine's Day. Josh and I don't usually celebrate the holiday since our wedding anniversary is just a couple of days later. But this year, Josh took part of the day off so we could spend time together while Oliver was at school. Josh also gave me the beautiful BENU Wild Rose fountain pen (and some sparkly pink ink)!
The pen is matte light pink and translucent hot pink with fine gold glitter, gold glitter leaf, and red glitter hearts. It's the prettiest pen I have.
Sparkling ink doesn't work out in most fountain pens, so I gave my new pen a Levenger ink cartridge: Shiraz, a burgundy ink that Levenger no longer makes.
I also received a special package today from one of my closest childhood friends, Leah. She sent Prisma Color pencils and a bunch of pens from my NoBuy2022 list! Gifts that support my writing are especially meaningful to me. A friend from Borders also sent me some pens a couple of months ago to get me started on writing through this NoBuy year.
In case you're wondering, these are Prisma Color Scholar pencils (a less expensive version), Pentel Krazy Pops, Crayola Take Note iridescents, Gelly Roll Stardusts, and Whaline Outliners.
Day 4: Today was not a good day. I hope tomorrow is better. It looks like Oliver will not get aid for next year, so we'll have to make some difficult decisions. Apparently we were supposed to have Valentines for the whole school yesterday, but I never received the E-mail about it. I've been missing weekly E-mails. It seems to be a big deal (we got shamed this morning), so I wrote an apology to the principal and Oliver's teacher. I'll be making late Valentines tomorrow. I also got busted for the way I pick up Oliver, so I just can't do anything right. After two weeks of E-mailing NCSEAA and an afternoon on the phone with three different people, I'm no closer to getting Oliver financial aid for next year.
I did finally finish and return Ruby Slippers, Golden Tears. I found some new authors to read, and I may read more of the anthology series (this is book 3). I started Daphne du Maurier's The Loving Spirit, but I haven't gotten far. Stories for the magazine are coming in quickly; I read three today, and I still have three left. I took a peach marshmallow bubble bath.
Day 5: Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. Josh picked up a cinnamon roll and a Dr. Pepper from McDonalds. He gave me a blue rhinestone and faux pearl lock and key necklace. For lunch, I made whole wheat pasta with asparagus, sweet peppers, and Alfredo sauce.
I made the Valentines--I cut out and wrote on 36 cardstock hearts, helped Oliver stamp his name on each, and attached Starbursts. I also wrote to Oliver's teachers, and Josh picked up Starbucks gift cards. And I ordered some items on the teacher's classroom wish list. And I picked Oliver up correctly today. But I have a feeling it's not adequate. Josh says I get fatalistic when I'm overwrought. I received no response to my apology. I'm not in a much better mood than I was yesterday; this is likely to be depressed day #2. I wish I felt better on this special day.
Also, my TWSBI stub nib clogged with Electric Pink ink, so I had to drain and flush it. All the other Diamine inks have been fine; I don't know what's different about this one. Now, I'm trying Pink Glitz ink.
After two more calls to NCSEAA, I may have gotten the help I need. We'll see if he's awarded.
I have those three magazine stories to read today, so I'm not going to get far with my other books. It's 4:14 p.m., and I'm ready to go to bed. I won't have time with Josh tomorrow.
Day 6: I got some early morning cuddles with Josh before Oliver woke up, so the day started well. I read two more magazine stories last night, and I have two left to read today.
I've been writing with a Crayola Take Note teal-with-blue-glitter pen (from Leah) and a green/blue glitter Sparkle Pop pen. I drained them both. I finally caught up with the magazine stories! That's always a good feeling. Today has turned out to be hopeful. I've read a chunk of The Daily Mirror and the first chapter of Locke & Key 4.
I figured out that the school entered my E-mail address with a typo, so somebody got those letters, but I didn't. I gave them my simpler address. I hope the word spreads. Oliver has great freckles, but everyone knows that.
Day 7: Today, I've already drained a Crayola Take Note iridescent pen--hot pink with light pink glitter--from the package Leah sent me.
Now, I'm writing with a Gelly Roll Stardust Rose Star pen. I've been cleaning, something that I don't do as often as I should (Josh is more attached to neatness than I am). I finished listening to the London cast album of the musical Amelie while I cleaned the bathroom. Now, I have laundry going, and I'm making some semblance of order with my chair/ottoman nest--books, pens, magazines, notebooks.... I repurposed a rubbery blue bucket as a catch-all for Oliver's school supplies: crayons, markers, daubers, scissors, glue, pencils, and name stamp. Now, everything is put away in a cabinet but will be easy to take out for virtual weeks.
I think I may be on the way up. I was cleaning a door earlier, which usually only happens when I'm manic. But it's a happy up so far--not an anxious or irritable up. I hope it will stay that way. Sometimes, I get manic when I have something coming up, like a challenge or a social event. It's like my brain is trying to prepare and strengthen me...it just doesn't always work out well. But mania has allowed me to do a lot of great things that I might never have done otherwise. I remember writing a proposal for a science fiction class while in the white heat of mania. My medications really keep it in check most of the time, but I definitely still have mood cycles.
I wrote a poem today! It's called "My Glinda," and it's for Bruce. As I'm reading David Lehman, I want to write more poems that are contemporary and specific with allusions. I wish I could write poems about New York City as he does. I'd have to spend some more time there, which I do hope I'll be able to do. If I had unlimited funds, I'd certainly want to live there for a year. I'd go to the theatre weekly instead of monthly (and monthly still feels pretty amazing). I did write in a slim Paperblanks journal while I was there. I'll always cherish the memories of that trip, which my parents and stepparents made possible. And of course, Josh was my perfect traveling companion.
I told Josh that my wallet was starting to fall apart after several years, so he ordered me a new wallet! It came today, and it's perfect!
Theatre! Cats! This is from Vendula London. Josh transferred the little key charm that he's put on each of my wallets. It came from a wallet my mom gave me a couple of decades ago. I've gotten so many presents this week! I'm currently working on my mom's birthday present for next month.
I just wrote another poem called "Sheen." David Lehman includes so many specific people, songs, streets, and more in his poems, so I played with that.
We ordered Carrabbas for dinner, with enough leftover for tomorrow. We're celebrating a special week, and I'm in my best mood. I had a chicken Caesar salad--their Caesars are so good. Josh had spaghetti and Italian salad. We had to save most of the bread for later. Oliver was not interested; he prefers Pizza CheezIts and bananafers (vanilla wafers). We stopped fighting him on food once he was out of a belted booster seat at the table. It's no longer easy to trap him with pre-selected food in front of him. Discipline is different when your child doesn't really understand cause and consequence.
I did finish The Daily Mirror! And I wrote yet another poem, this one called "Vacation." I'm pretty close to being caught up now on writing daily poems. I'm going to call this day joyful. It could also be passionate, but joyful is rarer.
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