Appreciating Some Favorites.

• AAA batteries. They're just cute.
• Large Smart Water bottles (though I usually drink tap)
• Shoes that sparkle
• Making lists
• Pens with lots of cushion
• Josh's drawings
• Glitter on my hands
• Prisma Color pencils
• Mom's drawings
• A new page
• Seeing a bit of glitter on someone I love
• The idea of light pink gloves with embroidery
• Rhinestone earrings
• Prizes (translates as small surprise gifts without an occasion, such as a sheet of star stickers on a Tuesday) from Mom
• Talking to Dad about avocados
• Giving people makeup
• Letting nice thoughts come out--compliments, encouragement
• A new release bay at a library
• Remembering working at Borders--I block out the bummers.
• Getting praise about something that shouldn't have been so hard but was
• Buying just one or two pens, new shades
• Looking back at my gift notebook: who gave me what and when and what I need to be using
• My fluid purple glitter and hearts phone case
• Getting a perfectly ripe avocado
• An orange someone else peeled for me
• A real E-mail. From a person.
• Wearing eyeliner that's too light
• A massage I didn't request
• Eye contact from Josh

Story Snippet: Masquerade.

Oliver and I were picking Josh up from work, and I had the Phantom soundtrack playing. Oliver usually listens quietly to music in the car. Josh opened the door and said hi to Oliver. Oliver answered, "Mackerade!"

Such a moment of joy! I felt that I was doing something right. He will know the joy of musical theatre. That's something I can give him. I want to give him the coping strategies I've learned and the joys that can penetrate darkness.

Restoration: Week 24.

Last Friday was my birthday. Since gifts are my love language, I usually feel well-loved and restored around my birthday and Christmas. I feel seen, appreciation, and cherished. Josh has Fridays off this summer, so we were together.

I hadn't watched a movie by myself in a long time, so I rented Mary Shelley. I like Elle Fanning. The movie was mostly sad. Still, movies almost always have a restorative effect on me. They seem to light up new parts of my mind.

Bruce's birthday was on Sunday, so we celebrated on Saturday. He made a massive chocolate cake. We bought each other exactly the same two presents--two specific bath gels. Crazy. He remembered my saying that I've been loving lilac scent (Mom's favorite) lately. He gave me a lilac candle and lilac Wallflowers. And he found a Lisa Frank journal!

My favorite gifts from Josh were two journals--Ariel and Cinderella--in a Mary Blair-ish style. My favorite from Mom and Shane is a set of colorful mermaid-tail makeup brushes--so fun. Dad gave me birthday money; I used some of it to buy story collections for my summer reading.

I feel I have a real chance for serenity and contentment.

A Bold Reader: Week 24.

I've been struggling to read lately. I did finish Mary Oliver's American Primitive this past week. I intend to read more of her work. I'm glad I've read so much poetry so far this year. According to GoodReads, I'm still 12 books ahead of schedule for my 2018 goal. So I have some room to get better.

I began reading Just Like a Person without a Mental Illness Only More So (I think I've got that right!) as an E-book. Mom recommended it to me. I like the tone so far.

Summer is almost here! I probably won't finished another YA book before spring begins, but I did read 5, which is my goal. Now, I have several books of short stories waiting for me and my summer focus. I had some, and I bought some more with birthday money from Dad. I'm also in the middle of The Unreal and the Real, Ursula K. Le Guin's story collection, with Bruce. I think short stories are an acquired taste, but I've come to love them. And I'm seeing more and more published collections!

This week, I'll work more on being a bold reader.

Story Snippet: A Lipstick and a Journal.

I breezed into Ulta, a bright and happy place to be. This may have been last October. I had the money (for that moment) to buy a lipstick I'd been wanting: Urban Decay's Lovelight. It was a lovely, shimmering pink.

As I walked to checkout, I noticed a pink display with a stack of journals. I picked one up soft, hot pink, and engraved with Beauty Notes. $5!

When I was in line, I looked down at one lipstick and one journal. That seemed to sum me up pretty well.

Last Day of 32.

My year was a full one. I read 47 books, including plenty of poetry. I managed to swim back toward reading despite cognitive challenges.

I think I've gotten close to both my parents and stepparents. We're all patched together, and it's enough to warm me.

I (Mom) dyed my hair black again, and I grew it out. I love it--I put on red lipstick and feel like Snow White.

I've danced so much with Oliver.

I'm on a different mix of medications right now, and they seem to be working.

I've kept up with my blog--4 or 5 posts a week.

I've experimented with makeup, playing with products I've never really used, such as lip liner, blush, and highlighters. My makeup bag is an arsenal of happiness!

I've fallen for avocados. I eat them every week.

I've worked toward an acceptance of my body and how it has changed.

I've paid down debt.

I've gotten through more trauma.

I've seen so many gorgeous shows, and I saw Phantom from the front row! I'll never forget the wonder of that.

I'm satisfied with this year and eager to start a new one.

My Weaknesses.

I have trouble resisting the following:

• Pretty pens
• Gel eyeliner pencils
• Avocados
• Mom's crab dip 
• Anything with mermaids
• Valentine's Day décor
• Lilac scent
• Cinnamon scent
• Vanilla scent
• Mini soda cans
• Getting mail
• Madame Alexander dolls, especially the elegant 10-inch dolls
• High-quality journals such as Peter Pauper Press 
• Magic realism
• Ducklings
• Saving instead of enjoying
• Cute stickers
• Fireside naps
• Sunshine naps
• Love notes
• Chandelier earrings
• Anything that sparkles
• Carrabba's Chocolate Dream cake
• Apple juice
• Vanilla Dippin' Dots with cookie dough
• Fairy tales