Day 1: Saturday. I've lost a total of 6 pounds! That's a lot more than I expected this early! I'm not in the best mood however. Josh will be gone for a JFON event for a good bit of the day, and Oliver is starting to have a meltdown over wanting to go to the park. Just when I was starting to think I might be able to take Oliver out again by myself, he ran away from Josh full tilt at the park. Josh only caught him because he's a runner. I'm not taking that risk on my own.
It's May 14, and I've only read one book this month! Gracious. I don't have a good excuse.
All right, I finished Anthony S. Abbott's New and Selected Poems, and I'm working on A Vow So Bold and Deadly. The sun is shining, and something smells like vanilla ice cream. Oliver has spent a lot of time outside.
I sent some poems that don't really fit anywhere to a more approachable market. I don't have any expectations. As usual, I feel like I'll never see another acceptance.
Day 2: Sunday. I wrote a poem! It's called "Bottomless Pit." I know where I'll probably send it in a couple of days if I feel good about it. I sent it to Josh and Bruce. Josh said it's among his top five of mine!
Last night, I read about one-third of Sharon Olds's The Gold Cell aloud to Josh. He was awake for most of the poems. Her work is far from cheerful, but it's so good. I slept in until 8:30--the latest I've slept in a long time.
I'm craving Papa John's thin crust sausage pizza and garlic knots. 550 calories for one slice and two knots. Hmm. Mmm.
We went to the splash pad for a while today. It was hot. I noticed a sexy young mother--thin, toned, tan, and tattooed. I'm not sure if I can end up thin and toned again, but I'm trying. I'm not interested in being tan. Josh would love for me to be tattooed, but that's not for me.
I sent out four more poems, not my best. But almost all my poetry is out. I hope I will write more poems this coming week. It's a great feeling.
Day 3: Monday. I'm stressed about money today. I'm feeling overwhelmed--money, summer, Josh's summer work, the cars.
I took a short nap and felt a little better about the world afterward. Josh did get the summer position though paperwork is pending. It is probably going to be full time, in fact. That would help us a lot with financial concerns. I'll miss him terribly. But summer was always going to be tough. Maybe it will be a good time though. Maybe Josh will really like this job.
I prepared a postal submission to put in the mail today. The magazine isn't on duotrope, so I'll have to rely on my own records. I'm writing with an Ooly Oh My Glitter Pen in green today. I love it.
I finished The Gold Cell. Sharon Olds writes a lot about sex with her then-husband in her earlier books. It's painful to know how that marriage will end, having read Stag's Leap. I look forward to seeing what she writes about after that.
Day 4: Tuesday. This is the second-to-last full day of school for Oliver. When the boys left for school and work, I got back into bed with A Vow So Bold and Deadly and finished it. I really enjoyed the Cursebreaker series. I'm not sure who was my favorite character...probably Grey or Lia Mara. I also liked Nolla Verin. I'd read more books about them. A Vow came out in late 2020, so Kemmerer finished it during the first year of the pandemic. The art that came out of that period is so interesting. I'm still glad I read Together in a Sudden Strangeness.
Josh asked me to come up with a list of about twenty books of contemporary poetry that the FTCC library should order, mostly by women and minority writers. I included T in a SS. That was such a fun little project! I got to go back through the 200+ books of poetry I've read (which doesn't seem like nearly enough for me at my age, but I'm making progress!). And the library ordered all the books!
I sent out poems to a magazine that has published my work twice. The editor recently rejected another submission, so I sent some better work, including a pretty new poem that I like.
I wore makeup (more than eye sparkle and lip gloss) for the first time in a few days. I wore a teal T-shirt dress, a snowflake necklace (it's always snowflake season for me), and green glitter shoes to pick up Oliver and take him to OT. I got to listen to a lot of The Fixed Stars in the car. It's an unsettling read and it involves transformation in a person and in a marriage, but it's absorbing. OT and the driving were tiring but not too bad.
I finished reading An Acceptable Time to the boys, which means we've finished The Time Quintet! That's one of my 40 before 40 goals! That also means that I finished TWO books today! Now, I'm getting back on track.
Day 5: Wednesday. Josh helped me figure out how to play my audio book on his Xbox since I won't be spending much time in the car this summer. So I curled up in the corner of the couch and finished The Fixed Stars. I was a little surprised and bummed when it ended. MW said that she found some freedom in giving up a little hope. I sort of understood that.
Josh went to Donuts for Dads at Oliver's school today, and it went well! This morning, he said I looked "gorgeous" and "radiant" when he came home from the gym. I won't soon forget that.
I feel a space in my chest, aching for filling. I don't know what I need. Probably just attention. I'll try to stuff the space with poetry.
I realized that the YA graphic novel Heartstopper is due today (I couldn't renew it as someone has placed a hold), so I lay down and read the whole book. It was sweet and simple. I may read more of the series. I took five books back to the library, but I still have three that are late. But I've now read five books this week (amazing), seven books this month (pretty good), and 68 books this year (awesome--more than I've read a lot of complete years).
I didn't work out yesterday; I didn't feel great physically. But today, I did yoga with Josh as soon as he got home, and I did all my other exercising earlier.
I began reading Lost in a Book, a young readers Beauty and the Beast novel, to the boys tonight. Josh seemed excited about starting a new book. As the summer begins, I'm going to read Oz 8 to Oliver while Josh is working. That series is also on my 40 before 40 list...we have a long way to go.
Day 6: Thursday. Josh took today off. It was a long day. We all put on shorts and sunscreen, and Josh and I explained to Oliver that we were "all going to school together to play with school water." Even with this repeated preparation, Oliver expected us to end up at the splash pad. He kept saying he wanted to go home. Admittedly, the playground at school wasn't very exciting with a few teachers and kids and a couple of hoses. But once the rest of the kids, teachers, and parents; the inflatable pool; and the sprinkler showed up; he changed his mind. Josh even got wet. We watched Oliver run around, watch everyone play, and get in and out of the water for about an hour and a half. Then, though the boys refused to eat, I enjoyed a hot dog, Fritos, and a Dr. Pepper before we left early, and I logged it all on MyFitnessPal. I did my yoga and workout later.
Josh went to the grocery store. We won't be able to go together this summer, which is a bummer. I can't really imagine taking Oliver to a grocery store. Maybe we'll do it someday. After Josh got home and we put everything away, he went back out to get a diagnostic on his car before the state inspection. We'd been dreading this. It turned out that getting his car to pass inspection would cost $1,000, money that we don't have. So we'll have to sell Josh's car. My mom mentioned possibly keeping Oliver next weekend. If she does, we can go to CarMax and take care of that. Otherwise, I'm not sure how we'll do it. I'm not excited about having only one car, but we've made it work before. The only good news is that that leaves us with a little more money than I expected to get us through the rest of the month.
I read some of the Bible, poems from Satan Says (Sharon Olds's first book), the prologue to the YA fantasy novel Winterwood, and then a couple of chapters of Lost in a Book to the boys. I ended the night with a lot more Sharon Olds.
Day 7: Friday. Josh took Oliver to school at 8 and spent a little time with me while I got ready for the awards ceremony at 9. With thirty kids with varying levels of autism stuck in one room for 45 minutes, I expected some chaos, but none really came. Oliver listened to his teacher and sat still even when he saw us come in all dressed up. He sat with us after he received his award for "Most Improved" in his class. It was a nice little closing event. Josh thanked me for finding the school and figuring it all out. Oliver clearly feels good there.
Josh brought us home and then went to work. Oliver and I hung out. I tried Green Giant broccoli cheddar tots, which are officially okay. It's been a hungry day. Josh's world lit class is running after all, so he has a lot of prep to do.
Good news: I found out that I'm going to have an important meeting on Wednesday morning...an opportunity that I've been hoping to get. We'll see how it goes! I'm glad I have a suit that fits! It's spring green, and I'll wear it with a violet floral blouse. But what shoes?
Better news: Josh got to come home early! He cleaned and I put away laundry for about an hour, and then we did yoga together.
The best news of the day is that Josh will be home next week! I thought he would have admin days through the end of the month, but I was wrong! He will be home until his summer contract begins, and we don't know when that will be. The kick-off meeting for the program is June 2, so maybe not until then!
Bruce and I met at 2nd and Charles and browsed books and bizarre merch for a couple of hours. We have great fun at bookstores. When I left home, I found that Josh had backed my car into its space. He's always trying to find ways to make my life easier. And when I came home, he was waiting for me at the front door--a happy close to the day.
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