Stillness & Attention: Week 21.

Day 1: Saturday. Today was a good day. Early this morning, I finished reading Sharon Olds's Satan Says. I later finished my Grande Paperblanks journal and began a Peter Pauper Press Mystic Moon journal. I'm going to start Sharon Olds's The Wellspring. 

We went to the splash pad briefly, but Oliver didn't want to stay. Josh went out to get my car's oil changed and buy more crackers (which seem to be the main part of Oliver's current diet). Josh brought home The Habit! That knocked out my calories for the day, but it was worth it. I was a little disappointed to see that I only lost 1 pound over the past week, but I guess that's pretty normal. It's still progress. That is 7 pounds total in about three weeks. 

I accomplished a few other things. I thought I'd sent out almost all my poems, but I decided to go back through my files to see if I'd missed any. Skipping over any poems I plan to retire, I found 94 poems that I can still send out. Gracious! I have a lot more work to do than I thought! I'm counting that as my writing work for the day. I did my full workout and 30 minutes of yoga. Then, I helped Josh with some preparation for his world lit class that starts next week. 

Day 2: Sunday. Josh helped me send out an early submission this morning--a story to a YA magazine. Files keep getting messed up on my Chromebook. Maybe we'll buy a laptop instead of a dresser; we may need it more. Luckily, Josh was able to fix the problem on his work computer. 

I received an acceptance this morning from the magazine that was the first to publish one of my poems some 14 years ago! This poem is one I wrote when we lived in Monroe about 12 years ago. Like my other May acceptance, it's one I didn't really expect, but I'm pleased. 

We went to the park for about 45 minutes, but Oliver asked to come home again. Maybe he wants a break from the crowd. He's been content to play in the backyard. Josh went to his JFON event. I did my full workout with yoga. When Josh got home, we ordered pizza! I was able to fit one slice of pizza and two garlic knots into my calorie plan. Excellent.

I plan on doing a lot with the three remaining years of my 30s (my birthday is less than a month away). I'll read so many books, send out so many poems, shape my series into a one novel, see so many shows, listen to such great music, write so many poems, see Oliver through middle school, get so many pieces published, read so much poetry, check out so many library books, drain hundreds of pens, fill dozens of journals, meet so many goals, learn so much, take so many perfect naps, find so much to enjoy. 

Day 3: Monday. We had a peaceful morning. I slept until almost 7. Josh got home from the gym and got back in bed. Oliver had ended up in bed with us at some point. While they slept, I got out my pink tape measure. I found that I'd lost a total of 11.5 inches in the past 20 days. That's remarkable, much more impressive than my 7 pounds. 

Oliver slept until 10:45, when he had an accident in our bed. Josh cleaned him up, and we ran laundry all day and remade our bed. Accidents happen most nights; we're still amazed that Oliver is potty-trained (that finally happened when he was eight). 

I received a kind personal rejection from a challenging magazine. The editors said they went back and forth on my poems, especially one of them, and they found much to admire in my work. They invited me to submit again. I definitely will do that next month. Hopefully, I'll have some good work available to send then. Uncanny Magazine rejected Break a Wish last night, so I'm back to the idea of merging the four novellas into one long novel. That will take me a while. I'd like to finish it next year--a lofty goal but possible. I sent 6 poems to a magazine today, so I've sent out over 60 pieces this month, and I have over 150 pieces under consideration. 

I did yoga with Josh and then did my workout. I'll work hard at that this week and see if it makes a difference on the scale.

I read some poems from Sharon Olds's The Wellspring today and read a couple chapters of Winterwood when the boys went to bed. I'm not reading enough, but I'm trying to get back to it. I need to get used to reading throughout the day again without being alone in bed. I used to read a ton on the weekends, so I know I can do it.

We expected a storm all day, but we didn't hear thunder until well after dark.

Day 4: Tuesday. I sent three poems to a themed call from a magazine in the UK...getting a few more of these poems out. I read a few more chapters of Lost in a Book to the boys when Josh took a break from working on his classes. We spent a couple of hours at the splash pad. I didn't read sad poems to Josh; I just felt like talking to him, being next to him. We'll finish the book eventually. 

I have that important meeting tomorrow morning. It came up quickly. OT is rescheduled for Thursday morning. This week with Josh feels like it's moving too quickly. I don't feel prepared to be without him so much. 

I still have to work out, do yoga, and do as much reading as possible, and the day is drawing to a close.

Day 5: Wednesday. I received another acceptance this morning! This was my first time submitting to the journal, and my poem will appear online. This one is a poem I wrote recently. I also sent three poems to a literary magazine. I wish more journals took larger submissions; a few take ten pages at a time.

I had an important meeting today. It went well enough. I won't know the results for at least a few weeks. Meanwhile, I'll stay plenty busy. I think it's a good pursuit, and I think I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.

We spent a couple of hours at the splash pad, and I think we managed to avoid sunburn. I did do my yoga and workout yesterday but not much reading.  

I'm writing with a TUL pen in gunmetal today. TULs only seem to work well in Peter Pauper Press journals; they like the paper. 

Josh finished setting up his world lit course today! Impressive. I love course planning, but it takes me a lot longer.

Day 6: Thursday. Josh took Oliver to a makeup OT session this morning. I had a couple of hours to myself but only managed to read a few poems. I've been having racing thoughts. It's exhausting, and it makes focus almost impossible. 

BENU has a new fountain pen coming out--it's glitter green with tiny shamrocks! I'd love to get it for Christmas, but it will sell out quickly when it comes out in July. 

I'm astonished at how quickly this month has passed. I've accomplished relatively little. I did read a day of the Bible yesterday. It's still repetitive doom from the prophets. It's doesn't seem like healthy reading. 

I wrote a thank you note to the person I met with yesterday. I sent five good poems to a challenging journal I've never approached. I've now sent out over 70 pieces this month. I did my workout and yoga and read a chapter of Lost in a Book to the boys. 

Day 7: Friday. Just five days are left in this month. What can I do with those days? I want to finish at least two more books to get to a total of ten for the month. I also need to get my June planner ready. 

I've been working on laundry today. Last night, Josh encouraged me to read before I went to sleep, and I enjoyed two chapters of Winterwood. Today, I've read three days of the Bible and read a few chapters of Lost in a Book to the boys. I also finished The Wellspring. And I read a good bit of Winterwood; I'm eager to get back to it. 

I'm anxious about money. Josh got contracts for his summer classes but not for his other summer position. We're juggling bills, and Josh's grad school loans will come due again in August. I hope we'll make enough from selling the car to cover one of our larger past-due bills. Mom is planning to keep Oliver Sunday and Monday night, so we'll get to take care of the car and have a little time alone. We haven't had that in a few months. 

Bruce and I went to Barnes again. I'd done my workout and done yoga with Josh, so I had enough calories left for coffee. We walked around talking about books and thinking about which ones we may choose for our birthday. I'm looking forward to that. We have no trouble spending two and a half or three hours in a bookstore.